Disclaimer: We own nothing but the OCs. Just a fun, weird little AU crackfic for Halloween! We had a ton of fun writing this, and I hope you guys enjoy it too!

Ammie and Faith turned down the old gravel road. "Are you sure this is it?" Ammie asked looking at the GPS display as she ran her fingers through her long dark hair.

"You see it on the GPS right?" the blond replied leaning closer to the window, "There look the lights. The caretaker just flipped them on."

Ammie leaned back, "I hope we have enough time to unpack before we interview the new people. Who do we have coming in?"

Faith turned the air car into the long winding drive way passing under the now purple illuminated sign, "Nachthaus". "We have a Bob something or other for first aid and medical stuff. Then I don't remember the guy who is supposed to herd the cats that are the actors."

She turned to her friend and grinned, "Just think, one more season, Ammie. Just one more season and we are off to make our dreams come true!"

Ammie slowed the car, then turned and grinned at her friend. "I know, Faith. We're almost there. But let's go out in style, huh?"

They giggled as they got out and unpacked their things, and the caretaker strode out of the house to meet them. "Welcome to Nachthaus Ranch, ladies. You'll be rooming in the boarding house over there." He pointed to a cozy-looking prairie house on the other side of the yard. "You can put your things in the main building. I'm very happy that you've come to give Nachthaus a revitalization, and I assure you, your percentage of the profits will be generous."

"How much?" Faith inquired.

"I'll keep 30 percent for myself, for letting you use the property, but everything else out of total profits is yours."

Faith did a quick calculation in her head and then beamed at Ammie. She waited for the caretaker to mosey off and then followed her friend to the house, "Ammie, if we do well...I think we could work the two months a year here, and then LIVE on vulcan the rest of the year."

Ammie blinked, "Are you sure?"

"Well, we got the spreadsheets, if we can make this place the Halloween season attraction it used to be, then we can!" Faith shouldered her pack a bit better so she could drag her suitcase behind her with a greater ease, "There are three open properties, one in Shir Kahr, one in Gol, and one in Raal...they are modest, but I think we could do one of them."

Ammie shook her head, "It's hard to believe our dream is about to come true."

The pair entered the prairie house, which was as cozy on the inside as it was on the out. There were comfortable chairs, around an already lit fire place. A little back kitten was popping around on the rug chasing it's own shadow, and the smell of warm apple cider was wafting through the house.

"This is...beautiful." Faith said with a content sigh, "Let's pick our rooms and get unpacked, I could go for some of that cider before we get to work."

Ammie handed Faith another cup of cider and joined her at the table, where she was pouring over maps of the ranch and the main building. "Ok, so let's do outdoors first? We planned our route, and we know the best places for putting up props. I was thinking scarecrows with masks in that little clearing we passed. We could hang them from the trees and everything."

"Sounds nice and creepy to me," Faith replied, marking it down on the map. "Where do we want the recording of the wolves?"

"That weird twisted tree near the start. I wish we had a stuffed wolf we could stick near the haystacks. That'd be awesome."

They continued to discuss the outdoor maze and hayride, then turned their attention to the house. "Ok," Ammie said, "we've got twenty volunteers on board for this, but I was thinking we could split them up, and put half in the maze and half in the house. What do you think?"

Faith sipped her cider, "That sounds like a good idea, and just a sec..." she looked through the stack of papers, "Oh, Ammie! We have better than a stuffed wolf, there is a guy who says he wants to play a werewolf!"

They both grinned and marked it down on their papers, "I think we are going to need more dry ice machines," she took her pencil and pointed on Ammie's map.

"Oh, good idea, and those black lights, the ones that flicker, need to go there and there." She marked next to two of the dry ice spots and then one where the werewolf would be.

The caretaker knocked on their door, "Ladies, them two gents for the jobs are here..."

Before the girls could say anything the caretaker opened up the door, practically pushing two men through.

They straightened and looked over the two men, and Ammie privately admitted to herself that they were good-looking men.

"Dr. Morris?" she asked, pulling his file from the stack. "And Mr. Wolonski? Private practitioner and theater manager, respectively, I presume."

"Indeed," the shorter one said, and Ammie frowned in confusion when the taller one replied right afterward with "that's right."

"Ok," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Amethyst Atwood, and this is my partner in crime and best friend forever, Faith Cloverleaf. You can call me Ammie."

The shorter man hesitated for a moment before clasping her hand, and his warm, strong grip made her raise an eyebrow. "Dr. Bob Morris. You can call me Bob, Ammie."

"Hello, Bob. Welcome to the team!"

Faith shook hands with Mr. Wolonski, and she blinked at the way his blue-gray eyes seemed to pierce her. He looked as if he was smirking and had been since the day he was born, but the moment was broken when Ammie spoke again.

"Would either of you like some cider? It's really good. The caretaker made it for us."

"Bob" looked to his friend, who was still smirking, he had to think how a human would answer this, "Umm, sure. That's sounds tasty." Bob answered, and then nudged his companion.

"I would love some of that cider." Greg answered, and then put a grin on.

Ammie and Faith eyed each other for a moment and then Faith pointed at the chairs, "Go ahead and have a seat then, while Ammie and I fix some cider, and I think there are some cookies down there too."

The moment the girls were down the hall Bob looked at Greg, "This is not going to work, we are not convincing humans. Those females already suspect something I am sure of it."

Greg looked at his companion, "You have no logical evidence to support that, Strom." he closed his eyes, "Bob. Human females are excitable, we are aesthetically pleasing to look at even in this...reduced appearance. No doubt that is what you are seeing."

"You assume too much, Solok," "Bob" replied smoothly. "We have to be more convincing."

The ladies returned, and Ammie handed Bob a cup of cider. He blinked and sniffed at the liquid, then closed his eyes. "Thank you very much, Ms. Ammie. This smells wonderful."

He threw his companion a look, but Solok had already drained his cup. "That is...very delicious, thank you, ladies."

"Cookies?" Faith asked. "Pumpkin spice. They'll go well with the cider. And don't be shy. We've got plenty of food, and plenty of cider."

They both tentatively took a cookie, and Strom privately winced at the prospect of having to eat with his hands. But the girls also took a cookie for themselves and started eating, and Solok, he admitted, was doing well, not hesitating to imitate Faith and Ammie.

"Shall we get down to business, then?" Ms. Atwood said after they had all eaten two cookies each. "Firstly, we definitely don't want anyone to sue us, so we've got forms ready for people to sign at the gate. But in case people do get hurt, doctor, you'll need to be on the ball with first aid, and if necessary, we'll send any injured to the local hospital. Pray it doesn't come to that. However, we shouldn't be held accountable for anything because you, Mr. Wolonski, will make sure the actors understand the rules of the ranch. Are we understood, gentlemen? Are you sure you can handle this? It could get crazy."

Faith cleared her throat, nudging Ammie, whose eyes widened, "Wow." Ammie said, "These are some pretty impressive credentials, Bob. I never thought our little Halloween theme park would score a doctor who graduated Suma cum lauda from..." she raised her eyebrows, "Harvard medical school."

Strom inwardly winced, he had told Solok that was too much for the cover they needed, but Solok would not be dissuaded saying they needed to be impressive to get these jobs it was imperative to the mission. He glanced at Solok who was now sucking icing off his fingers, repressing the hope that Solok would choke (possibly to death) on some icing and distract everyone from his over priced degree. But there was no such fortune, no choking, so Strom shrugged, but then Solok spoke.

"I think we can handle this. Bob over there is too shy to get a big job, and I'm into this Halloween season thing. If you T'...ladies will hire us and tell us about the benefits, we are anxious to get to work."

"Well, you're hired, boys. Anyone from Harvard would probably have a thorough understanding of malpractice and legal battles, so consider yourselves hired. Mr. Wolonski, here's a list of the volunteers. Please acquaint yourselves with it, all right?"

They nodded and left the house, and Ammie turned to Faith. "What's a guy from Harvard doing here in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio?"

Faith shrugged. "Well, I'm sure he's a good doctor. He seemed really shy too...do you have the forms?"

"Yeah, but now that we've got that out of the way, let's get settled first, ok?"

…

Ammie pinned the last of the posters into the wall, then stepped off the kitchen chair and stood back to appreciate the effect. The gold and purple IDIC looked very nice above her bed, and prints of paintings depicting Vulcans in meditation were plastered over the other walls in her room. The place was small, but definitely servicable, and she pulled up the forms on her PADD and sent them to Faith for revision.

"Hey, nice posters!"

Ammie turned and looked at Faith, who was leaning in the doorway, gazing appreciatively at the pictures. "Thanks! My ex-boyfriend thought I was a freak for having all these. Which is why he's no longer my boyfriend."

Faith looked over the forms pointing back over her shoulder, "It looks like we have the same decorator, but..." she grinned, "I have an actual poster of Sarek at the signing of the treaty of Bable. Made from the original press shot."

"Oh I bet that cost a few credits." Ammie said as she passed Faith heading to look at it.

Faith turned around, "Yeah, it did but totally worth every one. I hope to get it signed when we are on vulcan." She handed Ammie back the padd, "Everything is in order, and the cook at the little resteraunt has things in hand too. We are waiting on some supplies, and the decorating team, but other than that...we are good to go." Faith plopped herself on her bed, "And don't get drool on Sarek will you." she teased.

"He looks so...elegant, but that jewelry...WOW...just...wow..."

"Still, you've got to hand it to a man who can rock that much jewelry and still look sexy."

"Amen, sister," Ammie agreed, flopping onto the foot of Faith's bed. "So...thoughts on our new teammembers?"

"That Greg guy is actually kind of cute...I think he'd make a sexy Vulcan."

Ammie laughed. "True! He definitely has the voice of one. I mean, how many Vulcan men have you heard on recording that don't have sexy voices? Both of them have nice voices, to tell the truth..."

Strom was setting up the surveillance equipment in his room when Solok entered. He shut the door, "Is it ready yet?"

Strom looked up at him, "It will be in a moment. I am just running a last test. Since there are so few people here I have pointed it in the direction of our new employers rooms, downstairs."

Solok nodded, "Very well. It was a fortunate event that we arrived before the rest of the staff. No one will suspect us."

Strom gave him an incredulous look, "They will if you lick your fingers as you did while eating those cookies."

"You were about to use a napkin to pick them up, Strom, how would you explain that?"

Strom shrugged, "Humans have an affliction called germaphobia. I wold explain..."

"Remember what Letant and Sarek said, the best lie is the one not told. You need to improve your acting skills." Solok said giving Strom an imperial look.

Strom turned, "I think I can hear the females downstairs." he flipped the switch so Solok could hear too.

Solok blinked as he heard his human name mentioned. "I think Greg could totally work the upswept brows, you know? One of the things I've noted about Vulcans, especially Vulcans with lighter eyes...they look at you, and it's just...shocking. You can feel your heart thundering if they stare at you right. And Greg has the eyes to make that work."

Ammie mumbled something in agreement. "Yeah, and so does Bob..." The woman sighed, and they heard shuffling noises. "I wish they were Vulcan...or that we had Vulcans on our staff."

"They wouldn't understand Halloween...an illogical holiday exalting the emotions of fear and excitement far past acceptable levels, even for humans," Faith said in a lofty accent. Strom swallowed thickly.

"You know...I wonder where Greg and Bob would come from if they were Vulcan...Greg seems kind of Shi'Kahrian, but his accent...not so much. What do you think?"

Faith laid back on the bed, "Hm, I think Bob would come from Raal or around there. Everything we've read indicates that Raalian Vulcans tend toward shyness, and are even more reserved than a normal Vulcan. So, given the way he moves and how he sounds, the way his mouth moves, I'm thinking Raal." Faith grinned, "But since he's human, I think he's from Pennsylvania and he's just shy."

Ammie giggled, "Yeah, no one here for us, our place is on Vulcan. Though..."

Faith grinned, "I know you think Bob is cute it's written all over your blushing face. The soothsayer did say you'd end up with a doctor."

"You know I don't believe in that."

"True, but...it's still funny."

Solok smirked and glanced over at Strom. "You see? I was correct in saying they are excitable, and that they find us attractive."

"They find me attractive. They said you have surprising eyes. That could mean anything."

"And Greg...Is is just me, or does his voice come straight out of Gol? The clipped nature of it, the slight snootiness...not nearly as snooty as someone from the capital, but still..."

"Yeah, I can see what you mean. Well, I think that's enough daydreaming for one day. We need to get back to work."

Ammie stood and helped faith off the bed, "Did you make arrangements with the farmer for the hay?"

Faith's eyes went wide, "No I didn't! Thanks for reminding me. Did the caretaker say we still had someone doing the hay rides?"

"Yes. He's taking both shifts, and working six days, apparently this guy either needs the money or he's super into hay rides."

"Mm...I love me some hay rides," Faith said in her best creepy voice, and Ammie burst into giggles. "All right, let's go see about that while we're thinking about it."

They left the room, and Strom sat down on his bed, blinking in surprise. "So they are hiring our target, it seems."

"Mr. McCarthy will not succeed in his transactions. We will succeed, but you must work on being more human."

"It is not my fault Ammie finds my psuedo-Vulcan traits attractive, or my shyness. Perhaps if you did not act like a depraved beast, they would find you similarly agreeable."