PokeWorld Interviews
Disclaimer: I really have to explain this again? You would think everyone would get it by now! Well, I don't own Pokemon or any of the (Counting on fingers) 34 characters I'm about to interview. I also don't own Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer, as if you couldn't tell. I DO own the plot, which isn't real, might I add, Cassandra Jade Tinnikis, Brian Williams, A'Kira Alone Bennett, and all of the other reporters, so please don't steal them!
I used what's left of my imagination to make them up. If you do want to use them, or Cassandra's nickname "The Psychotic Nurse Joy", E-mail me at TeamRocketEmiri@aol.com and ask politely! I'll let you use them as long as you don't piss me off with flames!
Also, I would like to thank Aron, Samantha, and Lauren for their help with this. I wouldn't have done it without Aron; he gave me the idea for this, and helped with the first couple of scripts. And Samantha helped me come up with the names. I just made the plot. Also, Sammy, Lauren and Aron let me use them in the story so I wouldn't run out of reporters. Thanks, y'all! And, remember, Aron, it's a'right, not alright!!!
This is my first finished fanfic ABOVE 7 pages long, so please don't send flames, discouraging me. I didn't spend a lot of time on this just to be put down! Disclaimer long enough for ya? Good. That was my purpose. I love to annoy people. I'm not called psychotic for nothing! (Laughs evilly) And no one can annoy me!
We don't want YOU to be hurt do we? Only one certain song will stop me: A certain song by Ricky Martin that goes by a certain name: "Livin' La Vida Loca" Now for the patients. Time for your shot! (Pulls on rubber gloves while the men at the mental hospital drag me away)
Now, on to the PokeWorld Interviews! Love, Cassandra Jade Tinnikis, A.K.A. The Psychotic Nurse Joy
Interview #1: Cassidy and Pikachu
Cassandra Jade Tinnikis: Welcome, welcome, one and all!! This is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis reporting from Rocket Headquarters for the PokeWorld Interviews! Throughout these interviews, my partner, Brian Williams, and I will interrogate every Pokemon cast member known to man, woman, and child, right down to the Ghost of the Maiden! Oh, and one more thing: Brian's psychic and I'm a Ninja master. (Raises eyebrow)
This should be interesting And now for the show! The sweet, merciful show! Our first contestants are Cassidy and Pikachu. Why we chose that pair, we will never know. Oh, and I'll try not to kill you with my daggers, I've kinda become addicted.
Pikachu (Gulps): Pika-pi, pika!
Cassandra: Don't worry, I said I'd try! Now, our first question is for you, Pikachu! How does it feel to know that your trainer, Ash Ketchum, will not become a Pokemon master anytime soon?
Pikachu (Defending): Pikachu, pikachu, pika, pika! Pi, pi, chu pika pikachu, pi chu, pika pikachu, chu pikachu pi pi pikachu!
Cassandra: A'aight, and now for Cassidy. Cass, what's it like to be a slut?
Cassidy: What?!?
CASSANDRA: Oh, I'm sorry, did I just say that out loud? (Laughs to herself) I'm so sorry! No, for real, how does it feel to be one of the most successful members of the notorious Team Rocket, surpassed only by two?
Cassidy (Gloats): Oh, I don't know. I guess it's because I'm so beautiful, and when you're beautiful, you get more money, and everyone likes you!
Brian (Off-stage): So THAT'S why I always get paid more than Cassandra!
Cassandra: Right. Whatever. Anyway, the next one is for Pikachu: Pikachu, what made you decide not to evolve when battling Lt. Surge?
Pikachu: Pika-pi pi pika pikachu, pika pikachu! Pika, pika Pik-chu chu! Pika pi pikachu pika pi pi!
Cassandra: Very well said, Pikachu. Very touching words. And our last question is For Cassidy. Do you think that you and Jessie will ever be friends?
Cassidy: No way in h- (Cassidy is cut off by the producer on the side of the stage, saying "Cassidy, you know you can't say that! We're on national television!") Sorry! Anyway, no, we won't!
Cassandra: Is that your final answer? (Cassidy narrows her eyes at the famous quote, but doesn't say a word.)
Cassandra: I can see we won't get much out of her. Well, that concludes our interviews for now. Tune in next time when we interview Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy! (Everyone gets up to leave, but in an instant, Cassandra pulls out her daggers and points them at Cassidy's throat.) You didn't answer my question, Cassie-girl!
Cassidy (Nervous): Oh, yeah, that! Yes, that's my final answer!
Cassandra: Good. (Removes daggers) This is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis signing off from Rocket Headquarters! Good night, and drive safely!
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Interview #2 Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy
Brian Williams: Hello, one and all, and welcome to the PokeWorld interviews! I'm Brian Williams, reporting late breaking news for the PokeWorld News Channel, channel 56! Today we will be interviewing Officer Jenny and-
Chansey: Chansey, Chansey!!
Brian: As I was saying, and Nurse Joy of Viridian City. Our first question is to Joy: Joy, do you know that everybody hates you because you're so friggin' cute and happy?
Chansey: Chan-Chansey!
Brian: Will you please be quiet? Now, what about the answer, Joy?
Joy (Sweetly): What ever would you mean? I would think that everyone would like me ever so much because I'm so much sweeter than the others! All of the others are ever so aggressive!
Brian: Whatever. Anyway-
Chansey: Chan, Chansey, Chan!
Brian: God, why are you interrupting me so much!?!?!?! You're almost as annoying as Joy! I'm gonna kill you! (Uses psychic powers to throw Chansey) (Chansey goes flying out of a window)
Chansey: Chan-seeeeey!!!!! (Her voice fades out as she flies away, leaving that little anime diamond and a little *ding* in the sky)
Joy (Flabbergasted): I'm annoying?
Brian: (Ignoring Joy) Now, back to business. Jenny, this next one's for you: How in the world do you fight crime in high-heel combat boots and a tight mini-skirt?
Jenny: Well, all you have to do is Bally Total Fitness, Nair wax, lotion, and for the shoes, Dr. Scholl's Corn Remover! Those are my secrets!
Brian: The next one is for both of you: How do you have so many sisters and cousins?
Joy and Jenny: Family secrets.
Brian (Antagonistically): Are you sure your mothers aren't whores or something?
Jenny and Joy: Whores?!?!!?
Joy: I've never been so insulted in all my life!
Jenny: I'm leaving!
Joy: I'm with ya, sister!
Brian: Sister?!?! (Joy and Jenny walk out, leaving Brian with Chansey, who has just walked in)
Chansey: Chan, chansey?
Brian: I thought I told you to leave! (Kicks Chansey) Well, folks, that concludes our interview for today! Tune in next time when we interview Lt. Surge, Sabrina, Erika, and Koga. Until then, good night and good fight!
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Backstage #1: Cassandra, Brian, Joy, Jenny, Cassidy, and Pikachu
Cassandra (Evilly): So, you all decided to fall for our little trap!
Brian: All we have to do now is get the rest of the cast to show up, and our plans will be perfect! (Joy, Cassidy, Pikachu, and Jenny are tied up and gagged, so they can't protest.)
Cassandra: In a matter of days, we'll have all of WCIU and Kids' WB in the palms of our hands! (Brian and Cassandra laugh evilly, talking well into the night.)
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Interview #3: Sabrina, Lt. Surge, Koga, and Erika
Brian: Hello, and welcome once again to another edition of the PokeWorld Interviews. My partner, Cassandra, should be here any minute now, but while we wait for her, I'd like to introduce four of the eight gym leaders, Sabrina Markobrad, Lieutenant Michael Surge, Koga Mykytiuk, and Erika Price. Also joining us today is one of our good friends, A'Kira Alone Bennett. She will help us with this, because we have never dealt with more than three peop-
Cassandra (Running in): I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm here! (Sits down and tries to regain composure, but can't) (Laughs hysterically)
Brian: What's up with you? You look like you've had about 16 cups of coffee!
Cassandra: 19 to be exact! (Laughs) I had a whole lotta homework last night! I'm trying to get all of this extra energy out of my body before we conduct the interview! I'm sorry, I'll do my best not to get out of control
Brian: OK, whatever. Do you want to ask the first question to Mr. Mykytiuk? (Author's note: "Mykytiuk" is pronounced Mick-i-chuck)
Cassandra (Quietly): Mykytiuk, Mykytiuk, Mykytiuk, Myky-
Brian: Why are you repeating me?
Cassandra (Very fast): That's-a-funny-word-that's-one-of-those-words-that-after-you-say-it-alot-it-lo ses-its-meaning!! (Laughs hysterically) Mykytiuk, Mykytiuk, Mykytiuk!! (Laughs again)
Brian: Um, how 'bout you just stay quiet until I tell you to? You might just go crazy up here!
Cassandra (Sadly): I'll try but I can't guarantee anything.
Brian: OK, our first question is for Koga. Mr. Mykytiuk, how did you become a Ninja master?
Koga (Superiorly): Well, it's takes a lot of hard training and will power, but after about 6 years, I finally got my first rank promotion! It was for a Ninja trainer (Continues to tell his life story for about 5 minutes until Brian stops him)
Brian: OK, OK, that's enough. I think you covered every question we had for you, so we have nothing to say to you anymore. Except, after the show, um, give me Iya's phone number, please? Good, now for Cassandra. Ask the next question, please. (Silence, Crickets chirping.) Cassandra, next question! (Looks over at her to see her rocking gently back and forth in her chair.) What's wrong with you now? I told you to be quiet, but not that quiet!
Cassandra (Trying to concentrate): I can feel my blood running through my veins, like I just had a million Pixie Stixs!
Erika: Well, did you?
Cassandra (Defensively): Only about 95!
Brian: Maybe you should sit this one out
Gym Leaders: Yeah
Cassandra (VERY fast): No-I'm-fine-I'll-ask-the-question. (Regains composure) OK, Erika, what's it like running an all grass gym? At least other trainers have a variety! Most others have at least one colorless Pokemon!
Erika: What? Oh, I just love grass Pokemon and I believe in Pokemon bei-
Cassandra: Pokemon, Pokemon, Poke- (Brian covers her mouth with his hand)
Brian: Will you puh-leese shut up?!?!?!!? You're almost as annoying as Nurse Joy!
Cassandra (Sadly): Sorry. I'll just be leaving now. (Runs off of the stage crying)
Brian: Um, OK. At least A'Kira is coming to help me. I just hope she isn't hyped up on candy and coffee.
A'Kira (Off stage): And here I am now! (Runs on stage as that corny introductory fanfare music is turned on.) Hello, everybody, I'm A'Kira Alone Bennett, and I will be your co-host for this evening! Tonight we will-
Brian: They already know what we're doing. We're almost half over! You came too late!
A'Kira: Well, where's Cassandra? She's late, too!
Brian: Cassandra was here, but she was hyped up on coffee and Pixie stix, so she left. You're my only hope now.
A'Kira: OK, let's just get to business then! The next question is for Lt. Surge. Koga, Erika, A'Kira, Brian, and
Cassandra (Off-stage): SURGE!!!!!!!!
Sabrina: What was all that about? I am trying to focus my psychic energy!
A'Kira: To where? Sabrina: To my gym. Just because I am not there does not mean that I cannot battle. (Closes her eyes again, concentrating)
A'Kira: OK, whatever. Now, Surge, why are you named after a soft drink?
Lt. Surge: I dunno, baby! Ask the writers, not me!
Brian: And now for the REAL question! (Everyone suddenly realizes that A'Kira asked a question that wasn't supposed to be asked, and glares at her, especially Sabrina. All of a sudden, Sabrina's eyes turn a bright shade of blue, her hair flares up, and A'Kira's chair flies backward, sending her flying into the wall.)
A'Kira (Eyes crossed, staggering forward) (Deliriously): Sorry, Sabs (All of a sudden, she drops to the floor unconscious. Everyone gasps.)
Brian: Sabrina, why did you do that?! Now I have NO partners for the conference!!!!!!!
Sabrina: She has broken my concentration. I have just been defeated in battle against a Caterpie because of her.
Brian (Trying to hold back his anger): Just go ahead and battle now, OK?!?! Now, Surge- Everyone but Brian, Sabrina, A'Kira, and
Surge: SURGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sabrina: Will you all puh-leese shut up! (Sends everyone but herself and Cassandra back into the wall, knocking them all unconscious.) This interview is over! (Walks off stage with the corny ending fanfare music playing.)
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Backstage #2: Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, Koga, Cassidy, Pikachu, Joy, Jenny, Cassandra, Brian, and A'Kira
Brian (Laughing): I cannot believe this actually is working!
A'Kira: But how did you get Sabrina in here? Can't she use her telepathic powers to get out? (Sabrina starts to protest, but is interrupted by Cassandra.)
Cassandra: We had a master psychic come and erase her powers until she works for us! (Laughs) There is no point in trying to escape! (Points to Erika, who is trying to cut the ropes that constrict her to the chair.) You'll never even make it past the guards!
Brian: And when we have enough people we'll have you shipped off to a small island in the middle of nowhere! You never escape from there, not without drowning!
A'Kira: And we'll all be filthy, stinkin' rich! (And once again, all three of them continue to laugh and talk throughout the night.)
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Interview #4: The Ghost of the Maiden
Cassandra Jade Tinnikis: Hello, everybody! This is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis reporting from Porta Vista!
Brian Williams: That's right, and, as promised, we are interviewing none other than- (He is cut of by the maiden, who gives him a seducing look, hypnotizing him.) (Robotically) The beautiful Ghost of the Maiden (Cassandra snaps her fingers in front of his nose nonchalantly, waking him from his trance.)
Cassandra: Didn't we tell you before the show not to do that?
Maiden: Sorry, I just can't help it!
Brian: Anyway, we are interviewing the ghost of the maiden, who has sat on some rock for about 2000 years, waiting for her man to come back. Maiden, do you know that that is not going to happen anytime soon?
Cassandra: Yeah. He's been gone for 2000 years. Don't you think he's dead by now? You're wasting your time! Move on with your life!
Maiden: He will come back to me, if it is the last thing he does. He will return to me, and we will fall in love all over again (Everyone in the audience either cries or rolls their eyes)
Brian (Dreamily): I'll come back to you anytime you want! (*snap*) Oh, sorry!
Cassandra: You'll thank me later.
Brian: OK, maiden, what's your real name? Everyone's dying to know. (*wink*)
Maiden: Well, everyone has been referring to me simply as "The Maiden" but my real name is Rochelle.
Cassandra: Rochelle, exactly how bored did you get sitting there for so long?
Rochelle: Well, one would never get bored waiting for her love to return to her. And when he returns, it will be worth it.
Brian: Would I be worth it, Rochelle, my dearest, darling, Rochelle? (*Snap*) (Everyone in the audience gasps. The snap didn't work. The maiden has just turned into Gastly and is hypnotizing every man in the audience.)
Cassandra (Mad): OK, Missy-ma'am, that's it!! No one can take him, hypnotize him, or damage him in any way, shape, or form without asking me first! We're taking this outside! (Cassandra and Rochelle step outside of the studios.)
Cassandra: You want him, you have to get through me first!
Rochelle/Gastly: Fine, you want to be killed, too? Destiny Bond (Another gasp. If Gastly is knocked out, Cassandra will be killed instantaneously, thanks to the TCG.)
Cassandra: So, you want to play games? (Takes out a small sphere, no larger than a Pokeball.) Oshu tenkenu Aconteneias! (Actual words!) (The sphere glows a bright blue, and then engulfs Rochelle/Gastly inside an even brighter light, sending her inside the sphere. { NO IT'S NOT A POKEBALL!!!} )
Cassandra: Now I won't be killed, and she won't get Brian. (Rushes inside.) Brian, I got her!
Brian (Waking up from trance): Huh, wha? Oh, Cassandra, I'm so sorry!
Cassandra: It's OK, really! I would never let that pathetic little thing get you!
Brian (Crying from joy): Oh, Cassandra!
Cassandra (Crying, also): Oh, Brian! (Both hug, and the audience, on cue, all goes "Aaawwwww")
Brian: Well, I guess we had better conclude this interview now. This is Brian Williams signing off from Porta Vista! Cassandra: And this is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis. So long for now! Good night, and happy travels!
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Interview #5 Ash, Misty, and Tracey
Cassandra: Welcome, once again, one and all, to another edition of the PokeWorld Interviews. I'm Cassandra Jade Tinnikis reporting from the Pallet Town Auditorium. Today we're going to interrogate Ash Ketchum, Misty Williams (No relation to Brian), and Tracey McIntyre! How does it feel to be here today? (Various replies of "Fine, Great, Beats Training, ect., ect."...)
Cassandra: Great. Now, we have one thing to clear up before we begin: Tracey, you have no impact on the storyline whatsoever, except in, like, two episodes, so we have nothing to say to you. Just keep quiet the whole time, a'aight?
Tracy (sniffs): OK, but-
Brian: Tracey! Uh-uh-uh!! Tracy: Sorry!
Cassandra: Good. Now, Ash, we heard that your Pikachu has been reported (sniggers) stolen! Is this true?
Tracey: Yeah-
Cassandra: Tracy!
Tracey: Sorry
Ash (sniffs): Yeah, he disappeared right after your interview with him and Cassidy. I knew I shouldn't of left him with a Team Rocket member
Brian: And we're all (*snigger*) deeply sorry for your loss Now, as we talked about with Pikachu, do you know that you will not become a Pokemon Master anytime soon?
Ash (Determined): I swear by the Benited Steaks of America that I will become a Pokemon Master, I will!
Cassandra: Yeah, the day pigs and fish fly, birds swim, and H- ("Cassandra, you can't say that!") Sorry And the day heck freezes over! Anyway, Misty, why is the only Pokemon that isn't Water-type is Togepi? At least other people have a variety!
Misty: Well, what about Brock? He has only Rock-type Pokemon!
Brian: He hasn't come yet. We'll dog him out when he gets here!
Cassandra: Oh, and Misty, why are you such an annoying, whining little bi- ("Cassandra!"), well, you know what I mean?
Misty: What? You know, I don't have to take such insults from you, little girl!
Cassandra: Yes you do, and by the by, I'm fourteen, much older than you.
A'Kira: Ash, do you know that you almost never train?
Ash: Yes I do! The only reason I've been held back is because of Team Rocket and Gary!
Brian: Yeah. Right. Whatever. Now, Misty, do you know that your song can be used for revenge?
Misty (Sweatdropping): Wha-what? Revenge? Whatever would you mean?
Cassandra (Antagonistically): Oh, come on, you know what we're talking about! Have you listened to the lyrics? Or were you drunk?
Misty: I did that to get paid! Those lyrics were not true!
Cassandra (Shaking her head): I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this (Instantaneously, she gets up and points her daggers at Misty's head.) (Evilly) Ever wanted to die? Ever wonder what it was LIKE to die? If I kill you this way, you won't even feel it. You'll be dead before you know what hit you. Imagine if I did it in slow motion. A hot, searing pain shooting through you like a million knives. Feeling the daggers push their way through muscles, bone, and millions of trillions of nerves. Then everything goes black, and you depart this world forever.
Brian: Are you sure you should do this? I mean, what will the children reading this think?
Misty (Eagerly): Yeah, yeah, what about the children? They have sensitive ears!
Cassandra: I don't care. If there is one thing I hate more than anything is people lying about their true feelings for each other. I'll do the same thing to Jessie and James when they get here! Now, you will confess your emotions for Ash, or you die! Take your pick.
Misty: Well, he is kinda cute
Cassandra: TO HIM!
Misty: OK, H- ("Misty! Uh-uh-uh!") Sorry. Heck, Ash, why do I think I follow you so much? Just for my bike? Or because I want to be friends with a wanna-be Poke'mon Master? No, I love you! I've loved you since the first day I saw you!
Ash: Really? All those times you've dissed me? And you loved me? Well, you confessed too late. I stopped loving you after you confessed you hated Bug-Poke'mon! (Misty bursts out crying and runs off stage)
Brian: That should be our trademark. Scaring people off stage!
Cassandra: Yeah! Well, folks, that's the merciful, wonderful, great, exciting, sweet-
Brian: I think they get the idea, Cassie!
Cassandra: Fine. Well, it's the end of another interview for the PokeWorld Interviews! I'm Cassandra Jade Tinnikis-
Brian: And I'm Brian Williams, signing off, and out! (Corny music s_s*)
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Backstage Number Three- Cassandra, Brian, A'Kira, Joy, Jenny, Cassidy, Pikachu, Ash, Misty, Tracy, Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, Koga, and, finally, the Ghost of the Maiden
A'Kira: I'm so glad you went along with the plan!
Brian: It's working perfectly!
Cassandra: Let's have a small chat so we can explain to you what's going to happen, shall we? (Brian, A'Kira, and Cassandra all take off everybody's gags, but not the ropes.)
Ash: But why? Why are you doing this to us?
A'Kira: It all started a while back
Brian: We were all struggling fanfic writers, and the first three episodes of Pokemon had just debuted.
Cassandra: We thought it would be fun to make up stories about them.
A'Kira: Have you ever seen Battle Aboard the St. Anne
Cassandra: Or The Ghost Of Maiden's Peak Brian: Or all of about 15 other episodes? (Various replies of "Yes, of course, yeah, we were in them!")
A'Kira: We wrote those, and 4Kids Entertainment took our ideas.
Brian: They stole all of our stories
Cassandra: And now, it's time for revenge!
Interview #6:
Jessie, James, Meowth, and Butch
Brian Williams: Hello, and welcome to the sixth PokeWorld Interview.
A'Kira: That's right, Brian. Today we are cross-examining four members of Team Rocket, Butch, James, Jessie and Meowth.
Brain: Due to unfortunate circumstances, Cassandra will not be here today-
Butch: What happened?
A'Kira: Well, for some (*snickers*) strange reason, Officer Jenny of Saffron City accused her of kidnapping, and two accounts of attempted murder.
James: Well, I'm sure she'll get out very soon.
(Brian and A'Kira burst out laughing)
James: What?
Brian: Yeah, she'll get out VERY soon
A'Kira: Now that Cassandra isn't here, we're going to need a little help!
Brian: And that's where our friend, Jaquis Gulyban, comes in-
A'Kira: That's friends, Brian.
Brian: Friends? Did you invite someone else?
A'Kira: Well, two someone else's
Brian: Huh? Oh, no
Jaquis: And here we are!
(Jaquis, an unknown girl, and Cassidy?!!?!?!?! Walk on stage)
Butch (Jumping up): Cassidy! We all thought you were I'm so glad you're OK!
Brian: Cassidy, remember your promise! (Points to A'Kira)
(A'Kira runs her index finger along her throat. Cassandra, Brian, and A'Kira had made her promise not to say a word about the plan on stage, otherwise, her, Butch, and their loved one's will be killed.)
Cassidy: Yeah, yeah, I remember. I'm OK, Butch! It's OK!!
A'Kira and Brian: Who's this?
Jaquis: This is my sister, Lauren Azandrea Mohammed!
A'Kira: How can you be sisters and have different last names?
Lauren: We have a very complicated family. We have 10 brothers, 11 sisters, and 3 legal guardians between us. I am one of the proud, REAL Mohammeds!
Jaquis: I was adopted with two brothers and one sister, Meikalei, Billy, and Samantha
(Both continue their explanation of their complicated family for about 20 minutes until A'Kira and Brian stop them)
Brian: I think that's enough, girls.
Lauren: But we're not even half done!
A'Kira: I think he means it. Now, we must get on with the interview!
Jaquis: Wait!
Brian: What now?
Jaquis: I have an announcement. I am proud, no, honored, to say that my sister, Lauren, came out of her shell yesterday, and told everyone she's-
A'Kira: What? Tell me, tell me, what??
Jaquis: That she's lesbian!
Brian: Whoa. Deep.
Lauren: And I'm not scared to say it! And another thing I still think Cassidy's kinda hot!
Cassidy: Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but I do NOT swing that way!
Butch: Oh, go on, Cass! You must have some potential! She wants you!
Cassidy: Shut up, Butch! At least I'm straight! Lesbians probably turn you on!
Butch: You're right about that!
Lauren: Well, you do have a sexy, seducing voice, Cass!
A'Kira: Let's just get on with the interview, shall we? This is sickening
Brian: This one's for all of you: Are you all familiar with the terms Gakishipper, Rocketshipper, and Neoshipper?
(Various replies of variations of "I've heard them, but have no idea what they are")
A'Kira: OK, close enough. Now, Gakishippers everywhere united yesterday when Misty confessed her true feelings for Ash, but Ash turned her down. How sad. However, what about the Rocket- and Neoshippers? They need some action, too!
Brian: Too bad Cassandra isn't here, she'd take care of this! Now, Jessie, James, we'll start with you first. We all know we have seen evidence of how much you love each other-
Jessie and James: What?!?!
Brian: Yes, love-
Lauren: I love Cassidy, but does that count for anything? Do you think that I could get on a talk show?
Butch: Only if Cass goes on with you!
(Cassidy hits Butch with one of those mallets that you get out of thin air...) Cassidy: Shut up, Froggo!
Brian: Can we get on with this?
(All nod yes)
Jaquis: Good. As Brian was saying-
Brian: Now, like I said, we all have evidence, all except for spoken We need to hear you guys say it. And if you don't, just remember what almost happened to Misty-
James: You're a little too late
A'Kira: What do you mean?
(Jessie holds up her hand to a camera, revealing an emerald, sapphire, and diamond WEDDING RING??!?!?!?!?!?!!!)
Lauren: Ho-wha-how did- when did- Man, now I can't propose to her!
Brian: When did this happen?
Jessie (Looking dreamily into James' eyes): We realized our true feelings for each other after a near-fatal accident with a Gyrados
James (Same goes for him): I realized I loved her more than anything else in life, and I proposed to her
Jessie: And I said yes!
Meowth: Dey tie da knot August 16th!
A'Kira: Wouldn't Cassandra love this! Too bad, she missed it!
Jaquis: Well, we've taken care of the Gakishippers (*gags*), and the Rocketshippers, but what about the Neoshippers?
Brian: I think it's a little late for that, too! (Points to Butch and Cassidy, who are making love on the interviewing sofa.)
Cassidy: Oh, Butch, I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you!
Butch: It's OK! I love you more than anything!
Cassidy: Oh, Butch!
Butch: Oh, Cassidy, make me happy eternally! Say you'll be my wife!
A'Kira: No!
Cassidy: Yes, I will, Butch! I'll be the one who's happy!
Butch: Oh, Cassidy
Jaquis: Oh, disgusting!
(All on cue, the audience goes "Aaaaawwwwwww!!!") Brian: Aw, how sweet!
A'Kira: Two proposals in one night! It's a miracle! Cassandra doesn't know what she's missing!
Lauren: Now both of them are taken?!?!!? Now I can't propose to either of them Hey, wait (Turns to A'Kira) A'Kira?
A'Kira: Yes, Lauren?
Lauren: Will you-
A'Kira: No.
Lauren: Da- ("Lauren, you can't say that!") Sorry! Darn OK, Brian?
Brian: Yes?
Lauren: Can you hook me up with Cassandra? Please play matchmaker for me!
Brian: I don't think Cassandra would like that
Lauren: Dang it! No one wants to hook up with me! (Runs off stage crying.)
Brian: Um, OK Now, next question
Jaquis: Meowth, do you know that you're an obnoxious, annoying, talkative, self centered, little bastard?
Meowth: Hey, da only reason dat I'm obnoxious and talkative is 'cuz I can actually talk, and dat's more den you can say for dat stupid Pikachu! As for self-centered, youse should talk to Jess and Jim over der!
A'Kira: Can't. They're too busy fighting about who loves each other more!
Jaquis: Should we end the interview now? The sight of Butch and Cassidy do THAT is enough to make anyone hurl!
Brian: You're right. This is Brian Williams-
Jaquis: Jaquis Gulyban signing off from Team Rocket Headquarters-
A'Kira: A'Kira Alone Bennett sending love and best wishes from Viridian City-
Brian: What we're all trying to say is: Good night and see you at the next interview!
Interview #7:
Gary and His Fanclub
(Brian, Jaquis, and Cassandra are waiting on stage for Gary and his cheerleaders. It is 15 minutes pat showtime, and Cassandra is getting restless)
Cassandra: Come on, guys! Just one swipe?!?
Jaquis: No, Cassandra, remember what happened last night! You'll get taken away for questioning about attempted murder again!
Brian: And you don't want that to happen, now do you?
Cassandra: Just one?? He deserves it! He's beating my brother, Kerry, in Pokemon training, and you know my family is a revenge crime syndicate!
Brian: No, Cassandra, and that is our final answer-
(The corny introductory fanfare is played as Gary walks on stage) Gary: Cue the trumpets, I have arrived!
Cassandra (Muttering): Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back!
Jaquis: You're finally here? You are very late, mister!
Fanclub (Sitting down): Fashionably late!
Brian: Do any of you cheerleaders have lives?
Fanclub: Um. No!
Cassandra (Bitterly): Do any of you have names?
Fanclub: Yeah!
Brunette #1: Lily!
Redhead: Fiona!
Purple-headed: Roxanne!
Brunette #2: Michelle!
Blue-haired: Jeanette!
Green-haired: Miranda!
Jaquis: OK, how much is he paying you all?
Gary: Are you kidding?? I don't have to pay them! They like me anyway!
Miranda: Twenty bucks a day.
Gary: You promised you'd never tell!
Miranda: We lied.
Cassandra: Aren't you girls smarter than that?
Lily: Excuse me, but I have an IQ of 189. I know I'm smart.
Brian: 189?!?!?! What are you doing with Gary? You can go to Yale or whatever! Any school would be ecstatic to have you in it!
Lily: I wanted to see more of the world!
Jaquis: Whaddya know, mission accomplished! Leave him! Get on with your life! Go apply a some school, just get away from him!
Brian: She might be smart, but she's not very bright.
Cassandra: Gary, are you aware that my family is going to hunt you down and kill you because you're ahead of my brother in Pokemon training?
Gary: No way! Just because I'm better than any other trainer is no reason to kill me! Too bad I'm cursed with this God-given talent!
Cassandra (Getting up and putting her daggers across Gary's neck.): You will give Kerry at least half of your rare Pokemon and you will purposely fall behind half the trainers of the world or you will be killed!
Gary: No way! I'm not giving up this talent!
Brian: Cassandra, please stop now! Pigs and cows may be watching! (Author's note: Pigs and cows are cops and detectives)
Cassandra: Fine. (Turns To Gary) We'll deal with you back stage
Brian: Now, Gary, this one's for you: Do you get special treatment because your Professor Oak's grandson?
Gary: No way Well, maybe a little Kinda Almost Yes.
Jaquis: We finally got him to admit it! Wait till we tell the whole Pokemon World about you, Oak!
Gary: No! You can't tell anyone I said that! Otherwise I'll never be respected as a trainer again!
Brian: Again? Who said you were ever respected?
Jaquis: We'll make a little deal: I don't tell anyone, you hire me as a cheerleader.
Gary: Twenty-five bucks a day?
Jaquis: A hundred.
Gary: Fifty.
Jaquis: Seventy-five.
Gary: Seventy-four, final offer.
Jaquis: Deal.
Fanclub: Yea!
Cassandra: But what about the interviews, Jaquis?
Jaquis: Did I say we were done with the arrangement? Now, Gary, you'll pay me for all of the days that I'm not there, and give me paid vacations!
Gary: Wha-wha-what?????
Jaquis: Or have your reputation as a Pokemon trainer ruined forever!
Gary: Fine.
Jaquis: Give me my first day paycheck now. (Gary hands her a fistful of cash) (Turns to Cassandra) Mall shopping spree?
Cassandra (grinning): Mall shopping spree.
Brian: Can we get on with this?
Cassandra: Gary, exactly how many Pokemon do you have after you take off half of the rares to give to Kerry?
Gary (sweatdropping): Half of the rares?
Cassandra: What, you thought I forgot?
Gary (counting on his fingers): Two hundred and twenty-six.
Cassandra (Looking through notecards): Do we have any better questions than that for him?
Jaquis and Brian: No, I don't think so
Cassandra: Then this interview is over. I can't stand another minute with him!
Brian: Okay, this is Brian Williams for Jaquis Gulyban and Cassandra Jade Tinnikis, saying good night, and good luck. (Corny music s_s***)
Interview #8:
Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine
(Cassandra, A'Kira, and Brian are all waiting for Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine to show up. It's 15 minutes into the show, and just about everyone is getting bored. Not good)
A'Kira: Where are they??
Brian: They're fifteen minutes late!
Cassandra: No one except for us has permission to be late on these interviews!
A'Kira: Wanna play charades again?
Cassandra and Brian: No!
Brian: We've played 5 rounds already, and we need at least one more player anyway!
A'Kira: But-
(Bob the director/producer comes on stage.) Bob: Hey, people out there in TV land! OK, Brian, Cassandra, A'Kira, it looks like the gym leaders are not coming today, so we have to reschedule.
Brian, Cassandra, and A'Kira: What? What about the show??
Bob: I dunno. Interview yourselves or something! (Walks off waving.)
Cassandra: Um, okay Now what do we do?? The writers of the interview haven't even given us any looks or personalities except for the fact that Brian's psychic, I'm a Ninja warrior, and Lauren's a lesbian!
A'Kira: I got it!
Brian: What?
A'Kira: We can interview the writers! We need them to give more information about us, right? They can answer our questions!
Brian: Cool! Right, now, through the miracles of Anime-land, we would like to introduce Corin, Samantha, and Aron!!!! (Audience claps and whistles)
(Aron, Corin, and Samantha walk onstage) Samantha: Whoa.
Aron: How did we get here?
Corin: This is sweet!
Brian: How does it feel to be here, all-mighty creators of people out in fanfic land!
Aron, Samantha, and Corin: Weird.
Cassandra: Now, as you know, because you're the one's writing this, you have not given us any character traits.
Corin: And we're very, really, truly, deeply sorry about that-
Brian: Wow, you guys did write us!
Aron: How can you tell?
Brian: Cassandra and Corin are both walking thesauruses!
A'Kira: Please don't apologize, oh fearless leaders!
Samantha: Um, okay
Cassandra: And we were just wondering if you could give us-
Brian: And the readers.
Cassandra: And the readers, an idea what we look like, how we act off stage, that kinda thing.
Aron: Right. Now, we named you all after ourselves-
Brian: Really?!? Cool!
Aron: I'm Brian, Corin's Cassandra, and Samantha's A'Kira.
Corin: Aron and I started it, and then we needed new reporters, so we added Samantha as a regular.
Samantha: Aron and Corin started the interviews, and Corin writes the scripts.
Aron: And then Corin, her little sister Casey, and I record them as different people on her dad's portable recorder.
A'Kira: What do we look like?
Cassandra: Yeah! I wanna see if I could have a crush on Brian!
Brian: No thank you.
Corin: Well, Cassandra has long brown hair, (As Corin reads off traits, they appear out of thin air.) the deepest black eyes, and right now is wearing a short purple dress and high heeled purple velvet shoes, and has on a purple velvet headband.
Cassandra (Looking at hands and dress and everything else): Wow! I like this! Purple is my favorite color!
Brian: Must be Corin's, too! Now, what about me??
(Author's note: Hi, it's me, Corin, again As you can tell, we're thinking these up off the tops of our heads We have no clue what they're going to look like! Uh-oh) Aron: Well, you're tall, have black, slicked back hair And you wear glasses And you're wearing not-so-formal interviewing attire New blue jeans A black T-shirt with nothing on it. And chains coming from your belt!
Cassandra: Never mind about the crush!
Brian: Oh, you're nice!
Samantha: Couldn't you have thought of something better?
Aron: Let's see you try it!
A'Kira: Yeah, and hurry up!
Samantha: Um, let's see A'Kira is tall, and has long strawberry blonde hair, like me, and wears glasses, like me and doesn't really wear them a lot, and is wearing a long, blue dress with white high heels and a white headband. Oh, and everyone's fourteen.
Brian: Whoa. I'm surrounded by beautiful women! A'Kira, how'd you like to go out with me?
A'Kira: We're colleagues, we can't date each other!
Brian: Man! What about you, Cassandra?
Cassandra: Don't make me hurt you.
Brian: Dang! Wait, Corin, will-
Corin: If Cassandra said no, what makes you think I'll say yes?
Brian: Oh, so there's no point in asking you either, Samantha?
Samantha: Nope.
Brian: Is it like this with you, Aron?
Aron: All the time.
Cassandra: What about Lauren and Jaquis?
Samantha and Aron: Corin?
Corin (Laughs nervously): Well I'll get back to you on that
Bob: Hey, you guys? I just called the interviewee's' houses' and they didn't answer!
Cassandra: So we have to reschedule?!?! Da- (Cassandra!) Sorry!
Brian: Should we end the interview now?
A'Kira: How would you guys like to do the honor?
Samantha: Great! Well, this is Samantha for Corin and Aron, saying good day to all, and to all, a good night!
Interview #9:
Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine (Rescheduled)
A'Kira: Hi, everybody! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett reporting late-breaking news for the PokeWorld Interviews.
Cassandra: That's right A'Kira. Toady we're examining Brock Flagstone, Blaine Houston, and Giovanni Gambini, the three remaining gym leaders. (Silence) A'Kira, it's your turn. A'Kira?
A'Kira: Do you guys realize what you put us through yesterday? If it weren't for the writers, our ratings would've plummeted!
Brock: Sorry! We didn't realize it was so important to you!
Cassandra: Where were you anyway?
Brock and Blaine: Uh, well We were Um Like We Kinda Sorta Maybe Uh, you see We wanted we heard It we
A'Kira: Giovanni, can you explain for these two nitwits over here?
Giovanni: As these imbeciles over here are trying to say, we heard that cast members are being reported missing or kidnapped after your interviews, and we didn't want to take the chance!
A'Kira: What??!!!?!?!?!? (Turning to Cassandra) (Whispering) They're smarter than we thought!
Brian (Running onstage): Wait! Don't start the interview!!!!!!!!!!
A'Kira: What? Why?
Brian (Panting): Haven't you ever heard the legend?!?!?!
Cassandra and A'Kira: What legend?
Brian: You idiots! The one that says if you reschedule an interview without putting any other interviews in the middle of the two, you're doomed to relive the interview over and over and over and over and-
Cassandra: We get the point, Brian!
A'Kira: Don't you know that's just a story producers made up to scare reporters!?!?
Brian: It's true! It's true!
Cassandra: Whatever. Brian, get off the stage so we can start!
Brian: Fine. Your loss. You can relive the day over and over if you want, but I'm leaving. I want to have the rest of my life! (Stomps out.)
A'Kira: I wonder what he's hyped up on?
Cassandra: Nevermind that. Now, on to the interview. Brock, why do you chase after every girl you see, but never for Jessie or Misty?
Brock (Blushing): Well, I guess I've seen them so much that I can't really fall in love with them! And Misty's a little too young, she's only 13! But I still think you girls are pretty cute!
A'Kira: Why, thank you, Brock!
Brock: Whaddya say, seven o'clock tonight?
A'Kira: Of course! See, Cassandra? You're not the only one who can get a date!
Cassandra: Who said I was?
Brock: Who's she dating?
Cassandra (Sighs): Mondo
Giovanni: You're dating Mondo?!?! I thought I told my recruits not to date anyone but people inside of Team Rocket.
A'Kira: Don't worry, we're all in Team Rocket!
Giovanni: I know who I recruited!
A'Kira: We're part of a division of Team Rocket that helps with the lawsuits and everything of that nature! (Author's note: As you can see, I'm lying! J)
Giovanni: Oh. Blaine: Well, what is black and white and red all over?
Cassandra (Clueless): A book, but what does that have to do with the riddles?
A'Kira (Gasp): You got the riddles from a book?????????
Blaine: Ding, ding, ding!!!! 189,938,837,937,276 Ways To Stump Your Friends and Foes, By Sabrina Markobrad and Koga Mykytiuk! (Shows book while trying to do a Vanna White impression.)
A'Kira: Sabrina and Koga wrote those????!!!!???!!!??!!?! You You You plagiarizer!
Blaine: Hey, I paid them to use their riddles!
Cassandra: You used to be my favorite gym leader, but now now I have nothing to say to you anymore.
Blaine: Fine. I'll leave! (Stomps out How familiar!)
Cassandra: Now, Giovanni-
A'Kira: Wait, what are we going to do about Blaine? You chased him out, like all of the other interviews!
Cassandra: Hey, I didn't chase 'em all out! Brian did a couple of the honors!
A'Kira: Yeah, sure!
Cassandra: Giovanni, what was it like when your mother ruled Team Rocket?
Giovanni (Author's note: in that creepy accent {Shivers}): Not much more better off than it is now. The only difference was that we had Miyamoto working with us She was one of the best members Team Rocket ever had And to think Jessie came after her I expected more of her
Cassandra: Don't speak that way about Jessie! She's one of my best friends!
A'Kira (Whispering to Cassandra): Then, why are we kidnapping her?
Cassandra (Whispering back): We're not. It's just just Borrowing from Nintendo! (Not whispering anymore) Now, Brock the next question's for you-
A'Kira: Yeah, where are you taking me tonight? A'Kira: And why did you go chasing after that slut, Professor Ivy?
Brock (Sweatdropping): That's all over with! All I wanted to do was learn more about Pokemon, but now I'm done, and I'm all yours!
Cassandra: A'Kira, why do you always ask questions that aren't on the cuecards?
A'Kira: Because inquiring minds wanna know!
Cassandra: Whatever. Now, Giovanni, how many people are in Team Rocket?
Giovanni: Only about 400000 worldwide.
A'Kira (Sweatdropping): Only 400000? That's alotta people!
Cassandra: A'Kira, should we end the interview? It's almost seven!
A'Kira: What?? Oh, yeah, sure, as long as I can be with Brock! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett signing off from the Gym Leaders' Convention
Cassandra: And this is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis saying good night, and good flight! (Corny Music I'm getting sick of that!)
Interview #9:
Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine (Rescheduled)
A'Kira: Hi, everybody! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett reporting late-breaking news for the PokeWorld Interviews.
Cassandra: That's right A'Kira. Toady we're examining Brock Flagstone, Blaine Houston, and Giovanni Gambini, the three remaining gym leaders. (Silence) A'Kira, it's your turn. A'Kira?
A'Kira: Do you guys realize what you put us through yesterday? If it weren't for the writers, our ratings would've plummeted!
Brock: Sorry! We didn't realize it was so important to you!
Cassandra: Where were you anyway?
Brock and Blaine: Uh, well We were Um Like We Kinda Sorta Maybe Uh, you see We wanted we heard It we
A'Kira: Giovanni, can you explain for these two nitwits over here?
Giovanni: As these imbeciles over here are trying to say, we heard that cast members are being reported missing or kidnapped after your interviews, and we didn't want to take the chance!
A'Kira: What??!!!?!?!?!? (Turning to Cassandra) (Whispering) They're smarter than we thought!
Brian (Running onstage): Wait! Don't start the interview!!!!!!!!!!
A'Kira: What? Why?
Brian (Panting): Haven't you ever heard the legend?!?!?!
Cassandra and A'Kira: What legend?
Brian: You idiots! The one that says if you reschedule an interview without putting any other interviews in the middle of the two, you're doomed to relive the interview over and over and over and over and-
Cassandra: We get the point, Brian!
A'Kira: Don't you know that's just a story producers made up to scare reporters!?!?
Brian: It's true! It's true!
Cassandra: Whatever. Brian, get off the stage so we can start!
Brian: Fine. Your loss. You can relive the day over and over if you want, but I'm leaving. I want to have the rest of my life! (Stomps out.)
A'Kira: I wonder what he's hyped up on?
Cassandra: Nevermind that. Now, on to the interview. Brock, why do you chase after every girl you see, but never for Jessie or Misty?
Brock (Blushing): Well, I guess I've seen them so much that I can't really fall in love with them! And Misty's a little too young, she's only 13! But I still think you girls are pretty cute!
A'Kira: Why, thank you, Brock!
Brock: Whaddya say, seven o'clock tonight?
A'Kira: Of course! See, Cassandra? You're not the only one who can get a date!
Cassandra: Who said I was?
Brock: Who's she dating?
Cassandra (Sighs): Mondo
Giovanni: You're dating Mondo?!?! I thought I told my recruits not to date anyone but people inside of Team Rocket.
A'Kira: Don't worry, we're all in Team Rocket!
Giovanni: I know who I recruited!
A'Kira: We're part of a division of Team Rocket that helps with the lawsuits and everything of that nature! (Author's note: As you can see, I'm lying! J)
Giovanni: Oh. Blaine: Well, what is black and white and red all over?
Cassandra (Clueless): A book, but what does that have to do with the riddles?
A'Kira (Gasp): You got the riddles from a book?????????
Blaine: Ding, ding, ding!!!! 189,938,837,937,276 Ways To Stump Your Friends and Foes, By Sabrina Markobrad and Koga Mykytiuk! (Shows book while trying to do a Vanna White impression.)
A'Kira: Sabrina and Koga wrote those????!!!!???!!!??!!?! You You You plagiarizer!
Blaine: Hey, I paid them to use their riddles!
Cassandra: You used to be my favorite gym leader, but now now I have nothing to say to you anymore.
Blaine: Fine. I'll leave! (Stomps out How familiar!)
Cassandra: Now, Giovanni-
A'Kira: Wait, what are we going to do about Blaine? You chased him out, like all of the other interviews!
Cassandra: Hey, I didn't chase 'em all out! Brian did a couple of the honors!
A'Kira: Yeah, sure!
Cassandra: Giovanni, what was it like when your mother ruled Team Rocket?
Giovanni (Author's note: in that creepy accent {Shivers}): Not much more better off than it is now. The only difference was that we had Miyamoto working with us She was one of the best members Team Rocket ever had And to think Jessie came after her I expected more of her
Cassandra: Don't speak that way about Jessie! She's one of my best friends!
A'Kira (Whispering to Cassandra): Then, why are we kidnapping her?
Cassandra (Whispering back): We're not. It's just just Borrowing from Nintendo! (Not whispering anymore) Now, Brock the next question's for you-
A'Kira: Yeah, where are you taking me tonight? A'Kira: And why did you go chasing after that slut, Professor Ivy?
Brock (Sweatdropping): That's all over with! All I wanted to do was learn more about Pokemon, but now I'm done, and I'm all yours!
Cassandra: A'Kira, why do you always ask questions that aren't on the cuecards?
A'Kira: Because inquiring minds wanna know!
Cassandra: Whatever. Now, Giovanni, how many people are in Team Rocket?
Giovanni: Only about 400000 worldwide.
A'Kira (Sweatdropping): Only 400000? That's alotta people!
Cassandra: A'Kira, should we end the interview? It's almost seven!
A'Kira: What?? Oh, yeah, sure, as long as I can be with Brock! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett signing off from the Gym Leaders' Convention
Cassandra: And this is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis saying good night, and good flight! (Corny Music I'm getting sick of that!)
Interview #9:
Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine (Rescheduled)
A'Kira: Hi, everybody! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett reporting late-breaking news for the PokeWorld Interviews.
Cassandra: That's right A'Kira. Toady we're examining Brock Flagstone, Blaine Houston, and Giovanni Gambini, the three remaining gym leaders. (Silence) A'Kira, it's your turn. A'Kira?
A'Kira: Do you guys realize what you put us through yesterday? If it weren't for the writers, our ratings would've plummeted!
Brock: Sorry! We didn't realize it was so important to you!
Cassandra: Where were you anyway?
Brock and Blaine: Uh, well We were Um Like We Kinda Sorta Maybe Uh, you see We wanted we heard It we
A'Kira: Giovanni, can you explain for these two nitwits over here?
Giovanni: As these imbeciles over here are trying to say, we heard that cast members are being reported missing or kidnapped after your interviews, and we didn't want to take the chance!
A'Kira: What??!!!?!?!?!? (Turning to Cassandra) (Whispering) They're smarter than we thought!
Brian (Running onstage): Wait! Don't start the interview!!!!!!!!!!
A'Kira: What? Why?
Brian (Panting): Haven't you ever heard the legend?!?!?!
Cassandra and A'Kira: What legend?
Brian: You idiots! The one that says if you reschedule an interview without putting any other interviews in the middle of the two, you're doomed to relive the interview over and over and over and over and-
Cassandra: We get the point, Brian!
A'Kira: Don't you know that's just a story producers made up to scare reporters!?!?
Brian: It's true! It's true!
Cassandra: Whatever. Brian, get off the stage so we can start!
Brian: Fine. Your loss. You can relive the day over and over if you want, but I'm leaving. I want to have the rest of my life! (Stomps out.)
A'Kira: I wonder what he's hyped up on?
Cassandra: Nevermind that. Now, on to the interview. Brock, why do you chase after every girl you see, but never for Jessie or Misty?
Brock (Blushing): Well, I guess I've seen them so much that I can't really fall in love with them! And Misty's a little too young, she's only 13! But I still think you girls are pretty cute!
A'Kira: Why, thank you, Brock!
Brock: Whaddya say, seven o'clock tonight?
A'Kira: Of course! See, Cassandra? You're not the only one who can get a date!
Cassandra: Who said I was?
Brock: Who's she dating?
Cassandra (Sighs): Mondo
Giovanni: You're dating Mondo?!?! I thought I told my recruits not to date anyone but people inside of Team Rocket.
A'Kira: Don't worry, we're all in Team Rocket!
Giovanni: I know who I recruited!
A'Kira: We're part of a division of Team Rocket that helps with the lawsuits and everything of that nature! (Author's note: As you can see, I'm lying! J)
Giovanni: Oh. Blaine: Well, what is black and white and red all over?
Cassandra (Clueless): A book, but what does that have to do with the riddles?
A'Kira (Gasp): You got the riddles from a book?????????
Blaine: Ding, ding, ding!!!! 189,938,837,937,276 Ways To Stump Your Friends and Foes, By Sabrina Markobrad and Koga Mykytiuk! (Shows book while trying to do a Vanna White impression.)
A'Kira: Sabrina and Koga wrote those????!!!!???!!!??!!?! You You You plagiarizer!
Blaine: Hey, I paid them to use their riddles!
Cassandra: You used to be my favorite gym leader, but now now I have nothing to say to you anymore.
Blaine: Fine. I'll leave! (Stomps out How familiar!)
Cassandra: Now, Giovanni-
A'Kira: Wait, what are we going to do about Blaine? You chased him out, like all of the other interviews!
Cassandra: Hey, I didn't chase 'em all out! Brian did a couple of the honors!
A'Kira: Yeah, sure!
Cassandra: Giovanni, what was it like when your mother ruled Team Rocket?
Giovanni (Author's note: in that creepy accent {Shivers}): Not much more better off than it is now. The only difference was that we had Miyamoto working with us She was one of the best members Team Rocket ever had And to think Jessie came after her I expected more of her
Cassandra: Don't speak that way about Jessie! She's one of my best friends!
A'Kira (Whispering to Cassandra): Then, why are we kidnapping her?
Cassandra (Whispering back): We're not. It's just just Borrowing from Nintendo! (Not whispering anymore) Now, Brock the next question's for you-
A'Kira: Yeah, where are you taking me tonight? A'Kira: And why did you go chasing after that slut, Professor Ivy?
Brock (Sweatdropping): That's all over with! All I wanted to do was learn more about Pokemon, but now I'm done, and I'm all yours!
Cassandra: A'Kira, why do you always ask questions that aren't on the cuecards?
A'Kira: Because inquiring minds wanna know!
Cassandra: Whatever. Now, Giovanni, how many people are in Team Rocket?
Giovanni: Only about 400000 worldwide.
A'Kira (Sweatdropping): Only 400000? That's alotta people!
Cassandra: A'Kira, should we end the interview? It's almost seven!
A'Kira: What?? Oh, yeah, sure, as long as I can be with Brock! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett signing off from the Gym Leaders' Convention
Cassandra: And this is Cassandra Jade Tinnikis saying good night, and good flight! (Corny Music I'm getting sick of that!)
Interview #9: Brock, Giovanni, and Blaine (Rescheduled)
Cassandra: What?
A'Kira: What did Brian say when we rescheduled it?
Cassandra (Gasps): "We'd be doomed to relive the interview over and over and over and over and-"
A'Kira: Yeah! So all we have to do is not do the interview!
Cassandra: But when will we interview them?
A'Kira: Who cares, as long as I don't have to live this day over and over! This is A'Kira Alone Bennett signing off from the Gym Leaders' Convention for the LAST time!
Cassandra: This interview is over!
Interview #10
Jessibell
Brian: Hello, everyone out there in fanfic land! Welcome to our outstanding tenth interview! To think, we've done ten! And we're not even half done!
Bob (Off stage): We are more than half-done!
Brian: Well, excuse me!
A'Kira: Today we are interviewing Jessibell Murphy. As you all know, Jessibell was pre-engaged to our lovely James (Sighs happily while daydreaming), who is engaged to get married to Jessie in a month and twelve days. Jessibell, what are your feelings on this?
Jessibell: Well, Ah think tha' mah dahlin' James will not be able to stand bein' married to tha' slut, an' Ah will get 'im if it's the las' thing Ah ever do!
Brian: Uh-uh. Sure. Well, tell me this: Do you know who had more money? James or you?
Jessibell (Author's note: Sorry, it's me again I have a weakness for interrupting my own stories Now, because we all know how Jessibell speaks, I'm not going to replace every word with the way she pronounces it Just use your imagination, a'aight?): James, of course!
A'Kira: So you did do it all for the money!
Jessibell: No, I didn't! I really loved him!
Brian: You do realize he ran away because of you, right?
Jessibell: No, he didn't! He just wanted to see more of the world before we joined in holy matrimony!
A'Kira: OK, Queen of Denial
Brian: Have you considered marrying anyone else, just in case something like this would happen?
Jessibell: Why, of course! Have you ever listened to the meaning of my name?
Brian: How DO you spell your name?
A'Kira: Yeah, we've seen it spelled so many different ways: Jessibell, Jezebel, Jessebell, Jessiebell, Jezebell
Jessibell: Just think about it!
A'Kira: I've only seen two that make sense, and those are Jessibell, and- (Gasp) Ohmigod, you're a- a
Brian: Don't act so surprised, A'Kira, we've known it all along!
A'Kira: I'm trying to add a little suspense, ninny!
Brian: That doesn't matter, you ignoramus! We all know Jezebel's a slut!
Jess- (Clears throat) I mean, Jezebel: Well, I never!
A'Kira: Well, isn't that what your name means?
Jezebel: Yes, but that doesn't mean that I am one!! I don't even like saying the word!
Brian: Well, that sure turns things around!
A'Kira: Half of our questions were about that!
Brian: So, basically, we only have, like, two more questions for her?
A'Kira: I'm sure we can think up something off the tops of our heads!
(Brian and A'Kira both sit in the chairs, thinking about what questions to ask Jezebel Five minutes pass Then ten Twenty Twenty-eight)
Brian: I can't think of anything, A'Kira!
A'Kira: Neither can I! And we have to hurry up, because I have a date with Brock tonight!
Jezebel: What?! You can't think of anything to say to little old me?????
Brian: Nope. Sorry!
A'Kira: It doesn't matter, because I have a date!
Brian: Who cares about your stupid date, I have a date with.
A'Kira and Jezebel: With who? Who? Tell us, tell us!!
Brian: Cassandra!
(Cassandra walks on stage with a furious expression on her face. Brian gulps. This means trouble) Cassandra: How dare you spread rumors like that around?!?!?!?!?
Brian: What rumors? What are you talking about?
Cassandra: Everyone knows that I would never go out with you! First of all, you not my type, second of all, as we just discovered, you are a-
A'Kira: Censors, now's your time. We'll pay you double!
Cassandra (Censored): You are a mutha ****** ***** that likes to go around with ***** with ******
A'Kira: Triple
Cassandra (Still censored): I hope you rot in **** you ****** little *******! You've always been a *****, always are a *****, and always will be a *****! And it doesn't help that you're always attracted to ****** harlots that **** anyone who come across their path
A'Kira and Brian: Quadruple.
Cassandra (Finally, no longer censored): Now I'm done. What do you have to say for yourself, Brian Mackenzie Williams?!?!?!
Brian: Nothing really, except. Cassandra, will you marry me?
Cassandra, A'Kira, Jessibell (What, you thought she wasn't still there?): Wha-wha-what?????
Brian: You mean more to me than life itself, Cassandra. I will do anything just to make you happy, as long as you do one thing for me: Be my wife, make me happy eternally!
A'Kira: You took that line from Butch!
Brian: No, I didn't! I gave him that line, 'cuz he said if he ever found Cassidy again, he would propose to her! Now, shut up! You're ruining a romantic moment! So, Cassie, what about the answer?
Cassandra: Yes! I will, I'll love you with all my heart and soul, 'til death do us part!
Brian: To love and to cherish
Cassandra: And to have and to hold
Brian: Oh, Cassandra!
Cassandra: Oh, Brian! Audience, A'Kira, Jessibell, Jaquis, and Lauren (Jaquis and Lauren, off-stage): Aaaaawwwwwww
A'Kira: I'm sorry to say this but you guys are totally DISGUSTING!
Lauren: Move out of the way, you guys, I'm headed to the bathroom
Jezebel: Do you guys want to end the interview? You might want a little more time to yourselves
Brian: Oh, go ahead. Jaquis, come on stage and end this! I just want to be with Cassandra!
Cassandra: Oh, Brian!
Brian: Oh, Cassandra!
Jaquis (Walking on stage): Oh, brother. Well, this is Jaquis Gulyban signing out for A'Kira Alone Bennett, Brian Williams, and Cassandra Jade Tin- I mean Williams. Goodbye!
Backstage #4:
Cassandra, Brian, Jaquis, A'Kira, Lauren, Joy, Jenny, Cassidy, Pikachu, Ash, Misty, Tracy, Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, Koga, the Ghost of the Maiden, Butch, Jessie, James, Gary, his fanclub, Brock, Giovanni, Blaine, Jezebel, and Meowth (Gasping for breath)
Gary: Why are you doing this?
Cassandra: Apparently, you weren't listening last time
Brian: Calm down, Cassandra, my sweet, he wasn't here last time!
Cassandra: Sorry.
Ash: They're planning revenge.
Jessie, James and Meowth: Against who?
Joy and Jenny: 4Kids Entertainment.
Jezebel, Brock, and Giovanni: Why?
Pikachu: Pi, pika, pi chu pika pika chu, Pikachu, pika, pi pika!
Jaquis: That's exactly right, Pikachu!
Giovanni: What the heck did he just say????????
A'Kira: They stole fanfics from us and turned them into episodes, and we want revenge!
Lauren and Brian: Or at least equal pay.
Cassandra: And we will get what we want.
Interview #11:
Mew and Mewtwo
Jaquis: Hello, this is Jaquis Gulyban for the PokeWorld interviews.
Unknown Girl: That's right, Jaquis. We are reporting from New Island, and-
Jaquis: Who the heck are you? I just now noticed you were here!
Unknown Girl: I'm Brianndra Williams, Brian's sister
Unknown Boy: And I'm Kerry Tinnikis, Cassandra's brother!
Jaquis: Why are you here? Brian and Cassandra are s'posed to be here, not you guys!
Kerry: They ran off somewhere to get married. (Shrugs shoulders)
Jaquis: And your parents are letting them get away with this? I mean, they're only 14!
Brianndra: Not really
Kerry: They're in Vegas, eloping.
Jaquis: What? And your parents don't know!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??
Mrs. Tinnikis (Offstage): We do now!!!!!
(Mr. and Mrs. Tinnikis and Mr. and Mrs. Williams walk out on stage. Oh, crap)
Mrs. Williams: No one told us???
Mr. Tinnikis (Turns to Mrs. Tinnikis): Where did we go wrong?
Mr. Williams: Where did you say they were?
Brianndra and Kerry: Las Vegas
Mr. Tinnikis: Good kids.
(Parents start to walk off stage, when suddenly, Mrs. Williams stops) Mrs. Williams: Oh, and you're both grounded for not telling us.
Brianndra and Kerry: What????
(Parents walk off)
Jaquis (Laughing): Ooh, they are going to be in soooooo much trouble when they get caught.
Brianndra: I just hope they get married before they do.
Kerry: Knowing them, they're banded already.
Brianndra: You know something we forgot about already?
Kerry and Jaquis: What?
Brianndra: Duh! The interview!
Mew: Mew, mew mew!
Kerry: What did it say?
Mewtwo: It said it thought you forgot about us.
Jaquis: Oh. Could you use your psychic powers to put a translator on it?
(Mewtwo strikes out a blue energy crystal to Mew)
Mew: If you wouldn't mind, I'm a girl, not an 'it'!
Mewtwo and Jaquis: Sorry!
Kerry: Oh, sassy!
Jaquis: And, finally, on to the interview
Brianndra: Mewtwo, if you look carefully, there are some people who don't entirely understand the true meaning of the movie, Kerry being one of them
Kerry: Hey!
Jaquis: And a lot of people would like to know what the moral of the story was
Mew: Well, basically, it's about-
Brianndra: AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Kerry: What?
Brianndra (Crying hysterically): I LOST THE DIAMOND AND RUBY NECKLACE MY PARENTS GAVE TO ME WHEN I WAS A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jaquis: Everyone search the ground for a diamond and ruby necklace!
Mew: You naïve little fools! Don't you know all you have to do is ask me? (Uses psy. powers to search the ground, finds the necklace, and teleports it to Brianndra.) Duh!
Brianndra: Thank you so much, Mew! How could I ever repay you?
Mew: Take me home and pamper me with goodies for the rest of our natural lives.
Brianndra: Yes, of course! I've always wanted a Mew!
Jaquis: Ya know, we're creating alotta diversions from the interview!
Kerry: We have five minutes before the interview is over, and we're not even done with the first question!
Brianndra: We could reschedule the conference!
Jaquis: Are you kidding!?!? Did you see what happened to A'Kira and Cassandra? I am NOT going to go through that!
Kerry: We could do it after the next interview, like Brian said!
Brianndra: Fine. Well, this is Brianndra William saying good night and God bless everyone for Kerry Tinnikis and Jaquis Gulyban!
A'Kira: Hello, and welcome to another edition of the PokeWorld Interviews, Channel 56! I'm A'Kira Alone Bennett
Lauren: And I'm Lauren Azandrea Mohammed. Today we are interrogating three of the most renowned figures in Pokémon history and research, as well as some woman that no one cares about who just happens to be Ash's mother.
Mrs. Ketchum: Well, that wasn't very nice!
Lauren: Maybe I'm just not very nice.
Professor Ivy: What's up with her?
A'Kira: Ignore her. She's mad because her girlfriend dumped her
Lauren: For another girl!
Bill: Excuse me, but don't you mean boyfriend?
A'Kira: No, she's a lesbian.
Bill: Oh.
Professor Oak: Can we get on with this?
Lauren: You have an appointment?
Pro. Oak: Yes, I have another interview in about twenty minutes.
A'Kira (Whispering to Lauren): Too bad he's not gonna make it! (Turns to Pro. Oak) The show's an hour long, so you might be a little late
Lauren: First question, please.
A'Kira: Professor Ivy, this questions for you: Did Brock Flagstone lay a finger on you while he was living with you?
Pro. Ivy: Lay a finger on me? In which way? (A'Kira raises an eyebrow) Oh, in that way No, never. Well, maybe once, by accident Then there was another, which wasn't so accidental Other than that. Not really Not a lot Kinda Almost Yes.
Lauren: See, A'Kira? Now you see how much having a girlfriend cheating on you sucks!
A'Kira: Boyfriend, if you please.
Lauren: Boyfriend, then.
A'Kira: Bill, do you take being called a Pokemaniac as a compliment or an offensive comment?
Bill: Both, at times. Usually it just depends on which way the person says it.
Lauren: Basically, the way they form the sentence?
Bill: Exactly.
A'Kira: So, if I said "Bill the Pokemaniac is crazy about something as stupid as Pokemon"?
Bill: I'd do this (Jumps up, tramples A'Kira, pins her to the ground, and strangles her)
Lauren (Nonchalantly): No, stop, don't do that!
A'Kira (Strangling): Hey, I only wanted to see what you would do if I told you that
Bill (Lets A'Kira go): Sorry. I get a bit defensive at times
A'Kira (Rubbing her neck): Yeah, most men aren't that strong!
Ivy: How would you know?
(A'Kira and Ivy look at each other and) A'Kira and Ivy: Brock.
Lauren: Professor Oak, how long have you been studying Pokémon?
Pro. Oak: Oh, only about 300 years.
(Profound silence)
A'Kira: Excuse me, but did I just hear you say "300 years"??
Pro. Oak: You are not mistaken.
Lauren: But, no one can live that long!
Pro. Oak: I do. Everyone in my family had lived to be at least 700. I'm just like Dick Clark. I live forever!!!!!!!!!!
Lauren: I'm gonna have you sold to the National Inquirer.
Pro. Oak: Been there, done that. About 400 years ago, they wanted me burned at the stake.
A'Kira (Muttering): Too bad they didn't. Then they coulda came forward in time and burned Brock, too!
Mrs. Ketchum: Pardon me, but aren't you going to ask me a question?
A'Kira: No, you're just like Tracy. You have no effect on the storyline whatsoever, so we have nothing to say to you.
Mrs. Ketchum: Then it wouldn't matter if I leave? I still have to talk to the police about the disappearance of Ash!
Pro. Oak: That's what my next interview is about! Gary disappeared, too!
Mrs. Ketchum: And they both disappeared
Pro. Oak. and Mrs. Ketchum (Ganging up on A'Kira and Lauren): Right after the interview!
Lauren: Really, we have nothing to do with that!
A'Kira: Next question!
Lauren: Our next and final question is for you, Mrs. Ketchum. Is there any truth to the rumor that Giovanni Gambini is Ash's father?
Mrs. Ketchum: Why would you say that?
A'Kira: First of all, Ash doesn't have a father at home.
Mrs. Ketchum: How would you know?
A'Kira: Aren't we the one's interviewing you?
Lauren: He went of to train Pokémon, didn't he?
A'Kira: And it would be cool if Ash's father was the leader of the organization Ash hates most!
Mrs. Ketchum (Very angry expression on her face): No, that's not it. Giovanni isn't Ash's father. The good for nothing bastard left right after Ash was born. Said he didn't want to have the responsibility of a child just then. He didn't even give me child support! I've lived on welfare for almost twelve years!
Lauren: So you DO know my pain and suffering!
Mrs. Ketchum: Yeah. Hey, wanna go out for ice cream and woman talk?
A'Kira: Lauren's buying!
Pro. Ivy: I'll go with you!
(All the girls walk off stage, leaving Pro. Oak and Bill behind. Bob the producer walks on stage.)
Bob: Well, this is Bob Piechocki saying good night for A'Kira Alone Bennett and Lauren Azandrea Mohammed! See you at the next and LAST interview!
Backstage Number 5:
Jaquis, Lauren, Joy, Jenny, Cassidy, Pikachu, Ash, Misty, Tracy, Sabrina, Erika, Lt. Surge, Koga, A'Kira, the Ghost of the Maiden, Butch, Jessie, James, Gary, his fanclub, Brock, Giovanni, Blaine, Jezebel, Meowth, Pro. Ivy, Pro. Oak, Bill, Mrs. Ketchum, Mew, and Mewtwo (Passes out from talking so much)
Cassidy: Hey, where's the other two reporters? Ya know, the girl with the dark brown hair and the dude with slicked back black hair?
A'Kira: Cassandra and Brian? They're in Vegas, eloping.
Mewtwo: But why are you doing this?
(Everyone sighs because they're sick of hearing the explanation over and over and over) Everyone except Mew, Mewtwo, Pro. Ivy, Pro. Oak, Bill, and Mrs. Ketchum: They're plotting revenge against 4Kids Entertainment because they stole their ideas, and now they're using us to make their own show and make sure that Pokémon is out of the game.
Mew, Mewtwo, Pro. Ivy, Pro. Oak, Bill, and Mrs. Ketchum: Oh.
A'Kira: And we will stop at nothing to reach our goal!
Bonus Interview!
Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters Interview Cassandra, Brian, A'Kira, Jaquis, Lauren, Brianndra, and Kerry
Mr. Announcer Dude: On July 17, 2000, this is 20/20!
Barbara: Hello, and welcome to the July 17th edition of 20/20.
Diane: Yes. Today we have many different articles to report on, including Why Plaids And Stripes Are Not A Good Fashion Statement, and Lice: Are they Ruining New York Sewer Rats?
Barbara: But first, we have a very special interview with the reporters of the now-famous PokeWorld Interviews, Cassandra Jade Tinnikis, Brian Mackenzie Williams, A'Kira Alone Bennett, Jaquis Gulyban, Lauren Azandrea Mohammed, Brianndra Williams, and Kerry Tinnikis.
Diane: This was a very extraordinary interview, indeed! Because of the world-renowned Interviews that they conduct every day, they were very hard to schedule. It was only by fate that Barbara happened to save A'Kira from a killer Magikarp, and she granted us a wish in return.
Barbara: But first, a commercial break.
* Time for a commercial break, but first, a word from our sponsors*
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Girl in advertisement: It really works! *Smile*
Mr. Announcer Dude: Welcome back to 20/20!
Diane: Now for the interview!
*Screen fades to show all 7 reporters, Barbara and Diane*
Diane: So, how does it feel to be here today?
Brian: Weird.
A'Kira: Yeah, it's strange here in the real world! Now I see why Corin, Samantha and Aron are so unnatural!
Barbara: What's strange about it?
Jaquis: As if you haven't noticed, we're actually in 3-D!
Diane: And now to start off with the serious questions, here's one that's on everybody's mind: Will you do more interviews?
Cassandra: Well, not for Pokémon.
Barbara and Diane: Aaawwwww
Cassandra: But we will conduct two more interviews
Brianndra: One for MTV's Spy Groove, and another for the Harry Potter book series.
Barbara: You are some busy teens, thank God you're making more. Did you ever think that the interviews would get this big? You're releasing them in 14 different countries!
Brian: We never thought that this would end up so big!
Lauren: We started this as a program for our local television station-
Cassandra and Kerry: Paid for by viewers like you!
Lauren: And somehow it just caught on!
Barbara: And now it's an international phenomenon!
Diane: Who's idea it was to start the interviews?
Kerry: Well, at first it was Cassandra and Brian, but then they needed new reporters, so they hired us!
Barbara: What's the process for scheduling and conducting an interview?
Jaquis: Well, first we make sure that we can secure a time with the interviewees and also have a date set with the television companies and Bob, our producer.
Brian: Then, we plan the questions. We usually center them around what their interests are, and what role they play in the show.
Cassandra: For example, Joy, Tracy, and Mrs. Ketchum make no impact on the show whatsoever. Therefore, we have nothing to say to them.
Diane: I see, go on
Lauren: Then we rehearse asking the questions. We can't afford to lose time stumbling over words, and without cuecards!
Barbara: Yes, we do the same thing!
A'Kira: Then we do the substantive, ever-important interview. We make sure to get every little detail out of 'em!
Brianndra: Then after the interview we kidnap- (The remaining reporters rush over to clamp their hands over her mouth.)
Diane: I beg your pardon, but did I just hear her say "kidnap"?
Cassandra (Laughing lackadaisically {Go use a thesaurus!}): Did she say kidnap? I think she meant "We let them take a nap, you know, to give them rest before the long journey home!" Isn't that right, Brianndra?
Brianndra: Yeah, sure!
Diane: Brian, Cassandra, we heard on an earlier episode that you ran away to elope in Las Vegas, Nevada. Is this true, and, if so, did you, and what did your parents say?
Brian: Unfortunately, we didn't get to marry before our parents came.
Cassandra: How were we s'posed to know that marriage is illegal until your 18?
Barbara: What did your parents say?
Cassandra: They didn't say anything at first.
Brian: They dragged us out of the hotel by our ears and flew us home.
Cassandra: When we got home, all they said was "You're grounded until the end of the millennium!"
Brian: And our parents stay true to their words. We're not allowed to do anything except the interviews!
Barbara: And thank the stars for that! Well, as you said, we can still look forward to the Harry Potter and Spy Groove interviews!
Diane: Well, this concludes out interview from ABC studios! Tune in next time when we interrogate cheese and Barbie!
(The seven reporters walk out of the studios.) Everyone except for Brianndra: What are you trying to do, get us killed??!!?!??!?!?!?
Brianndra: Sorry.
Final Interview!!!!
Interview #14:
Todd and Richie
Brian: Hello, and welcome to our ever-so-emotional, ever-so-important, ever-so-everything final interview!!!!!! (That corny fanfare s_s`````)
Cassandra: It's a miracle! We've survived fourteen interviews, and we still have Harry Potter and Spy Groove!
A'Kira: Let's run through some of the better moments of the PokeWorld Interviews
(Tape plays behind them, showing clips of the interviews and playing "Graduation, Friends Forever" by Vitamin C)
*Cassandra cussing Brian out (See interview #10), Brian proposing to Cassandra (#10), Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters interviewing the reporters (Bonus Interview), Brian running around the house in his underwear playing air guitar Brian running around in his underwear playing air guitar???!??!!!?!?!?!* {Shudders} The true definition of heck
Brian: Hey, where did you get that? That was from my 14th birthday, and no one was there but my mom, and she didn't have a camera!
(Cassandra and A'Kira laugh) Cassandra: Smile!
A'kira: You're on Candid Camera!
Brian: Oh, crap. You guys will get your revenge.
A'Kira: Now for the interview. Today we are interviewing Todd Richardson and Richie Mardell.
Cassandra: Todd, Richie, I believe you both are friends with Ashton Ketchum?
Richie: Oh, you mean Ash? Yeah, he's a great guy!
Brian: So we gather! You copied his dress code!
Richie: No, I didn't, I dressed like that before I met him!
Cassandra: Right. Liar.
Richie: I'm not lying!!
A'Kira: No, we believe you!
Brian: Todd, how old are you, and how many pictures have you taken in your lifetime?
Todd: Well, in answer to the first question, I'm twelve, and I've taken about 736,280.
Cassandra: That's alotta film!
Todd: My parents are rich; I can afford all the film I want.
A'Kira: Wow, can I borrow some money?
Todd: Sure! (Hands her about $300)
Brian: We are going to get rich off of these interviews! First Jaquis and Gary and then A'Kira and Todd!
Cassandra: How did it feel when you were finally defeated in the Pokémon League, Richie?
Richie: Not too good, as might have guessed. I felt good for my opponent, and I knew I did my best but-
Brian: But your best wasn't good enough?
Richie: Exactly.
A'Kira: And how did it feel when you battled and overpowered Ash?
Richie: I felt sorry for him. He'd been working for so long, even longer than I had, and it was a close match!
Brian: Close? Close?!??!? Are you crazy?!?!? You whomped his butt!
Richie: Well, the whole purpose of training is to do your best, so it doesn't matter if you win or lose, as long as you have fun and do your best!
Cassandra: You're too much of a good sport.
Richie: Hey, I was brought up that way!
A'Kira: Todd, have you been scheduled for many interviews? I mean, you are a world famous photographer!
Todd: Yeah, I've been almost as busy as you guys since I was about 10. I scheduled a lot, but my parents didn't approve of having interviews during school. And speaking of interviews, Richie and I have an interview of our own to give you!
Cassandra (Fidgety): What kind of interview?
Richie (Forgetting Cassandra's question): But in order to con duct this interview, we needed a little help
Brian: Oh, crap, I hope this isn't going where I think this is going
Todd: So, we would like to introduce (Fanfare) Officers Jennifer Birmingham, Jennifer Birmingham, and Jennifer Birmingham!!
(All three Jennies {Please help me with the pluralization!!! Jennys, Jennies?} walk on stage with Pokéballs ready, in hand)
Jenny #1: Cassandra, Brian, A'Kira, we've noticed that there have been reports of 32 disappearances that happened right after your interviews. Is that correct?
Cassandra, Brian, and A'Kira (VERY nervous): Well, yes, but we had nothing to do with it! We don't even know them! They all just happened to disappear!
Jenny #3: Do you know anything about it?
Cassandra: No, no, nothing, nothing at all!
Jenny #2: OK, OK, you can stop with the act now. We know you're little plan!
A'Kira (Finally realizing their fate): How did you figure it out?
Jenny #3: We had Todd here sneak in and take pictures for us! (Shows them a number of pictures of all 32 people and Pokémon tied and gagged.) Then, he asked questions to them. From what we've heard, you want revenge!
Cassandra: All the more reason to kill you all! (Holds up her daggers)
Brian: Cassandra?
Cassandra (Not taking her eyes off of Todd): What?
Brian: I think we'd better run! P.(A'KIRA, Richie: I knew it! All Jennies are aliens, just like the Nurse Joys! That's why there's so many of them, and why they wouldn't tell how in the interviews!
Cassandra: I guess it's all over with. Brian, A'Kira, it's been a pleasure working with you
(A'Kira, Brian and Cassandra immerse in a group hug) Jenny #3: Venasaur, go! (Venasaur pops out)
Jenny #2: Blastoise, I choose you! (Same for him)
Jenny #1: Come out, fighter Charizard! (And for him)(All three Jennies call out the attacks Hydro Pump, Vine Whip, and Flamethrower And all of them hit our beloved reporters, sending them flying into the air)
A'Kira, Brian and Cassandra: Looks like the PokeWorld Reporters are blasting off again!!!!!! *Ding*
Epilouge... The PokéWorld Daily Top Story: Reporters Nabbed! On July 18, 2000, seven reporters, also staff members for the PokéWorld Interviews, were arrested by three Officer Jennies, by virtue of the fact that they were planning revenge against 4Kids Entertainment. From what our reporters have heard, 4Kids Entertainment supposedly stole ideas from them, causing them to rebel. The seven reporters, whose names are not to be given, now face up to 16 years in prison, half a year for every person whom they abducted, which totals up to 32 people. If released, they will be referred to as "Armed and dangerous." 14-year-old Brian Williams says as his last words, "We'll get you next time, Pokémon, next time…"
The End… For now
Author's Note: It's a miracle!! 57 pages in under a month!!!!! Well, I gotta go I have more patients to attend to (Pulls on rubber gloves while pulling out a large needle)
Dude from the mental hospital: Hey, I thought we strapped you to the bed! (Runs after me, trailing not very far behind) Well, see ya! Peace! Love, Cassandra Jade Tinnikis, A.K.A. the psychotic Nurse Joy
To Be Continued