AN- So like every other Clexa shipper (I presume), I've been having serious Clexa withdrawals. I dunno...the show just doesn't feel the same despite actually enjoying s4 so far. So after watching the latest episode and seeing how broken Clarke appears to be, I had to write this.
Its been a while so apologies if its complete and utter crap.
Summary: With two months to fix the Ark, time is rapidly slipping from their fingers. All responsibility weighs heavily on Clarke's shoulders and she feels as if she can no longer carry on. One night as she slept soundly for the first time in a long time, everything becomes clear as the person she needs the most comes to her in a dream.
They had two months. Two months to fix the Ark before the radiation wiped out the whole of mankind. After realising the bunker was no longer a viable option, the Ark was the only chance at survival they had.
With a heavy heart and tired mind she walked from the Chancellor's chambers towards her own. Her mind wandered back to the list she had stuffed beneath her desk, dread filling her at the thought of ever using it. It wasn't right, writing her name on that list while so many others would die. But if there was one thing she had learned about being a leader, it was that sometimes you had to make the hard decisions, whether you liked them or not.
The truth was, she wasn't the same girl she had once been. A part of her had died the day Lexa had. But in order to lead her people and win the fight against Alie, she had no choice but to change. However the fight they now faced was far greater and she felt as though she couldn't save her people, not this time.
With a heavy burden weighing on her mind, Clarke collapsed with exhaustion on top of her bed, not even having the energy to remove her boots. It had been some time since she'd had a good night sleep and as of late those restless nights had only increased. She began to drift off into a deep sleep for the first time in a long time.
Clarke stood in a room she instantly recognised as Lexa's chambers. Her eyes scanned the room, candles placed in groups all around in a sight so familiar she could almost feel herself back there again. But she wasn't and she knew it. She was asleep back on the Ark with only two months to save her people. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought back to a slightly happier time, ones only made with the Commander.
Clarke cautiously walked through the room, her hands running along the bed and lingering on the soft fur blanket. She remembered being wrapped up in those blankets, feeling as though somehow, someday, everything would be okay and they could finally be together. How much things could change in a blink of an eye.
Clarke felt a brush of air from behind her and quickly whipped around, an instant overwhelming feeling of surprise, sadness and joy filling her as her eyes landed on the Commander. A small, barely-there smile graced her lips, the one she saved only for Clarke. Clarke flung her arms around her, burying her head into her shoulder that seemed to fit so well as she let out a relieved sigh.
"Clarke..." Lexa spoke her name like a whispered prayer, like she was the most important thing in the world. Clarke stepped back, but only enough so she could look into her eyes.
"I can't...I can't go on..." Her voice broke as her hand tightened around Lexa's arm, her emotions finally pouring out of her. She'd held it all in for so long...only letting it out in front of her mother just a few days before. She knew this was all a dream, she had watched her die on the very bed that was beside them. But this all felt so real...she wished she'd never wake up.
Lexa moved to cup the blonde's face as she looked deeply into her eyes. "Yes you can. I know you can."
Clarke shook her head in self-doubt as she continued to cry. "I can't do this alone..." She sobbed, adding 'I need you' silently in her head.
"You are not alone Clarke. My spirit will always be with you even if I no longer am. You are smart and strong and a better leader than I ever was. I know you will find a way to save everyone." Lexa comforted gently as she lightly caressed her cheek. The commander slowly moved her lips over Clarke's, a slow burning longing desire to sink into one another. The kiss deepened until everything around them faded into nothing.
Finally the kiss broke but their hands remained on the other. Clarke needed to feel her, even if it was only in a dream. Lexa lightly placed her forehead to Clarke's. "You are never alone." She repeated, lightly taking her hand before placing it over her heart. "Never stop fighting ai niron. I know you can do this."
Clarke was about to shake her head no and as she looked up again, Lexa had disappeared just as quickly as she had appeared.
"I loved her mom..."
Clarke opened her eyes suddenly, an instant sadness taking over. She brought her fingers up to her lips, still feeling Lexa's lips on her own. Determination began to replace the helplessness and self-doubt she had felt before falling asleep and as she climbed to her feet, everything was clearer.
Now she knew what she needed to do.
AN- Sorry it's a little short. I just had to get it out of my system.
They might seem a little lovey dovey and sappy to some especially after watching their meeting in CoL, but I wanted to write them with the same deep connection we all know they have.
Ai niron= my love