MACK THE KNIFE
Progression of chords in the background (guitar) the set has no curtain. It is a "living room" in an apartment house, further upstage there are two doors on either side of the left and right sides (four in all) As the audience files in, JULIAN is in the apartment going about his business, watering a plant, but mostly reading a magazine, he flicks on the TV its a news broadcast on low volume and kicks back on the couch, lights dim and GABRIEL enters
GABE- Didja miss me?
JULIAN- For being gone five minutes, sure. (pause) Did you know that in Sub-Saharan Africa 10 people get infected with HIV every minute... that's 600 every hour... what's 600 times 24?
GABE- Allot. Did you eat my sushi? (he is looking in a small fridge next to the plant)
JULIAN- 14,400 every day... can you imagine how many people a year?
GABE- What?
JULIAN- How many people a year (pause) get infected with HIV?
GABE- Allot. (finds and grabs the sushi and sits down next to JULIAN) Hey, have you seen Kia?
JULIAN- No, why?
GABE- Dunno, she hasn't been around much lately.
JULIAN- She has finals, I think.
GABE- Sucks.
JULIAN- (shrugs and goes back to the article, before looking at the TV which is a newscast about a plane crash) God, how many plane crashes are there a month?
GABE- Allot.
JULIAN- It's depressing.
(MR. LENNON enters)
LENNON- (bending over slowly and painfully to the fridge) Where's my sushi
GABE- Julian ate it, Mr. Lennon. (eating the sushi)
LENNON- eh?
GABE- JULIAN ATE IT
LENNON- (looks at Julian) did you say you know where my sushi is?
JULIAN- (with a glance at Gabe) Its gone, Mr. Lennon. Do you want me to get you something else to eat?
LENNON- No...no... I'm going to my room
JULIAN- Do you want any help?
LENNON- No, I have to do work now... (he exits)
GABE- What the hell is he talking about?
JULIAN- Poor man, I feel sorry for him (stares after him)
GABE- Better you than me. You're coming tonite, right?
JULIAN- Where?
GABE- The concert? (at Julian's blank look) For my band.
JULIAN- I don't know-
GABE- Come on, you go to too many protests as it is
JULIAN- They're important
GABE- So is my band. to me.
JULIAN- Alright
GABE- See, it wasn't that hard
JULIAN- If I'm going, I have to call Rita
GABE- Go call her then.
JULIAN- You don't mind?
GABE- My sushi and I are pals (Julian gives him a look and exits)
(knock on the door, NAOMI enters)
NAOMI- Is this where Kia lives?
GABE- Yeah, when she decides to grace us with her presence.
NAOMI- Um... ok, is she here?
GABE- No.
NAOMI- Who are you?
GABE- Gabe.
NAOMI- Gabe?
GABE- That's my name.
NAOMI- Gabe who?
GABE- Greene.
NAOMI- I'm Naomi Muhler.
GABE- good for you.
NAOMI- Ok... (pause, in which Gabe cranks up the volume on the TV) do you know where I could leave this for Kia? (holds up envelope)
GABE- Yeah. Bump it under her door. (points at door, NAOMI does so) where are you from?
NAOMI- What?
GABE- where are you from?
NAOMI- the college--
GABE- before that.
NAOMI- consehauten
GABE- consehauten?
NAOMI- no one outside of pennsylvania knows where it is, its a little town sorta near harrisburg
GABE- no one with half a brain would live in a town called cibsehauten (NAOMI sits down)
NAOMI- that's an understatement.
GABE- consehauten-- halfway between philidelphia and walla-walla
NAOMI- but hey, I can spell it
GABE- it sounds more like an expletive than a town-- oh consehauten! Hey man, thats so consehauten!
NAOMI- you're just jealous cause my town has such a cool name.
GABE- (delibratly coughs loudly)
NAOMI- where are you from?
GABE- kenosha, wisconsin
NAOMI- and you're talking
GABE- kenosha is an actual place.
NAOMI- so is consehauten
GABE- you keep on thinkin' that babe. you doing anything tonite?
NAOMI- I was
GABE- then forget about it and come see my band play.
NAOMI- why?
GABE- cause I told you so
NAOMI- you're insane
GABE- thats a matter of opinion. Besides, when was the last time something so cool happened to you?
NAOMI- excuse me?
GABE- delivering envelopes to college students wasn't a choice career last time I checked
NAOMI- what does that have to do with anything?
GABE- dunno. it sounds boring to me.
NAOMI- I don't usually deliver envelopes
GABE- well if you're working for Kia
NAOMI- I'm her teacher
GABE- Oh God-- come to the concert, I may still be able to save you. I see some trace of a soul
NAOMI- What is your problem?
GABE- excessive enlightenment. so you coming?
NAOMI- why should I?
GABE- we already went over this.
NAOMI- seriously, give me a good reason to.
GABE- cause I have chosen to enlighten you. (she stands up as if to go) seriously?
NAOMI- undoubtably.
GABE- cause you're hot.
NAOMI- really?
GABE- yeah. are you coming?
NAOMI- where is it?
GABE- ten. jack's
NAOMI- I'm not promising.
GABE- be there. what's your name again?
NAOMI- excessive enlightenment, huh?
GABE- I'm not a detail person.
NAOMI- I'm Naomi Muhler.
GABE- lord save you.
NAOMI- just tell Kia I was here.
GABE- If I remember
NAOMI- you better
GABE- whatever. just be there tonite.
NAOMI- ever heard of quid pro quo?
GABE- is that Latin?
NAOMI- yes
GABE- then I haven't heard of it.
NAOMI- just forget it.
GABE- ok, bye.
NAOMI- you are so nice.
GABE- 10.
(NAOMI exits, JULIAN enters)
JULIAN- Rita's pissed
GABE- so what if a few fur coats are made? PETA can wait.
JULIAN- no this was a date.
GABE- then just bring her to the concert
JULIAN- I am, that's why she's pissed
GABE- she's the woman, use your masculine animal power.
JULIAN- I'd rather not
GABE- wimp.
JULIAN- ape.
GABE-yep. (pounds on his chest)
JULIAN- you're going to be famous for that, you know
GABE- cool.
JULIAN- for not making any sense
GABE- cool.
JULIAN- I have to go pick up Rita, you want anything?
GABE- I could use a fur coat.
JULIAN- I don't think so. And be quiet, if you can retrain that animal power.
GABE- ARRR!
JULIAN- Mr. Lennon is sleeping
GABE- I'll be as quiet as a little mouse.
JULIAN- why do I have trouble believing that one? see you-
GABE- parting is such sweet sorrow
(KIA enters)
KIA- not when its with you, hey Julian
JULIAN- Kia, long time no see
KIA- I got finals
GABE- the queen returns. your grandfather's asleep
KIA- why should I care?
GABE- ask Julian, he's the one that told me
JULIAN- look I gotta go or Rita will kill me, see you Kia
GABE- at my concert
KIA- I'm not coming
GABE- yes you are.
JULIAN- bye
KIA- Bye Jude (JULIAN exits, she sets down her bag and pushes GABE's legs off the couch and sits down and pulls out a notebook)
GABE- oh your hot teacher chick stopped by
KIA- and I automatically know who my hot teacher chick is
GABE- she left an envelope under your door (KIA gets up and pulls it out from under the door)
KIA- thank god, I've been waiting for this (she sits down)
GABE- she's coming to my concert
KIA- you are not hitting on my teacher
GABE- and what if I am, you jealous?
KIA- she'll think I actually associate with you out of my own free will
GABE- and you'd care what she thinks? mind your own business, chiquita.
KIA- chika. Chiquita is a banana.
GABE- that's you, a fruit.
KIA- that was so lame.
GABE- oh touché, you've wounded me so
KIA- get a life, Gabe.
GABE- bitch
(MR. LENNON enters)
LENNON- what's all the noise, eh? I'm trying to sleep
KIA- sorry papa-
LENNON- WHAT?
KIA- WE'LL BE QUIET. WE'RE SORRY. I'll take you back to bed.
LENNON- No, I'm awake now.
KIA- do you want to sit down? (she tries to help him sit)
LENNON- I can move myself
GABE- 'attaboy.
LENNON- EH?
GABE- WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU?
LENNON- (shakes his head)
KIA- Gabe, don't do that.
LENNON- I talked to Ethel yesterday (GABE gives KIA a look) she's hurt her hip
KIA- oh that's too bad
LENNON- yes... (he looks away)
KIA- maybe he wants to eat
GABE- who cares, are you coming to my concert
KIA- no
GABE- why?
KIA- finals.
GABE- it's Friday!
KIA- I don't care, Gabe.
GABE- come on, you can boogie with Naomi
KIA- I don't want to boogie with Naomi
GABE- Oh you are so callous
KIA- I think that's you, Gabe.
GABE- Ouch, I'm bleeding
LENNON- Ethel couldn't walk to church last Sunday
GABE- I don't go to church, Mr. Lennon (KIA buries herself in her notes)
LENNON- No, I suppose you wouldn't. Ethel used to play golf
GABE- I hate golf, it's preppy
LENNON- I played tennis, do you play tennis?
GABE- I play the guitar
LENNON- I made it all the way to the state championship once.
GABE- what an accomplishment
LENNON-I played the saxophone in the school musical once, three penny opera-- had a great song. Have you ever heard "Mack the Knife"?
GABE- no.
LENNON- (sings) oh the shark has pretty teeth dear
and he shows them pearly white
just a jackknife had Macky dear
and he keeps it out of sight
GABE- you were a musician?
LENNON- yes
GABE- you still play
LENNON- no I had to give it up when I was drafted. how old are you young man?
GABE- nineteen
LENNON- (shaking his head) I'm going to bed now.
GABE- You need any help?
LENNON- eh?
GABE- You need my help? (but LENNON had already doddered off stage, absently humming Mack the Knife)
KIA- Ethel's been dead for four years.
GABE- he's old.
KIA- not that old.
GABE- don't sweat it, Kia.
KIA- Just don't talk to me, ok?
GABE- bitch.
KIA- You know, I really hope you have learned some decency by the time you're eighty, 'cause if you're still this way you're going to be really lonely.
GABE- I'm dying young, babe.
KIA- yeah. you've never been able to cope with reality all that well
GABE- get a life.
KIA- I really feel sorry for you, you know that?
GABE- save your pity for the old man. go feed him some mashed carrots.
KIA- don't waste yourself like this
GABE- mind your own fucking business
KIA- I'm not coming to your concert (she exits)
a one act (or one scene) I wrote a while back during the summer. its still a rough, rough draft but please let me know what you guys think, constructive criticism appreciated, if you think it sucks let me know :O), love you all and please review