Author's Note:
I have chosen to give the story an overall rating of M because several of the themes I am going to explore are sensitive for some readers, and will not be suitable for all readers. I will be labeling each chapter with trigger warnings as applicable. This chapter features strong language, Sexual content,
If you are not caught up in the series, there are Spoilers ahead. : )
I claim no rights to the characters presented in this work of fiction. They Belong Wholly to Victoria Aveyard.
Happy reading darlings!
Cal POV
"Where is the Barrow Girl?" The general's question pulls me out of my head. Briefings are the only time I got to see her anymore. Even though it is something akin to torture, I look forward to just being in her presence. She Never looks at me anymore, even when she catches me looking at her, she looks through me. I hate it. I want more than anything to throw myself on her mercy, to be the man she wants me to be; but the needs of the country have to outweigh my own.
"She is training for a mission and will not be joining us today." Something in Premiere Davidson's tone piques my suspicions. There are several missions in the planning stages, but no one told me that Mare had been assigned to any of them. I level my gaze at him.
"What mission?" Farley doesn't know either? Hmm, interesting. I take a steadying breath. The thought of Mare on the battlefield still terrifies me. Not because she isn't capable—she is the single most capable woman I have ever met; but because the loss of her would still devastate me. It takes a few more seconds for my pulse to return to normal. "Why wasn't I told she volunteered for a mission?"
"Because she set conditions to her recruitment." Of course, she did. "The first of which being that her family not be told."
"I see none of her family here." There is anger in her voice. I am shocked, Farley rarely lets her emotions show through her careful mask of control. An even rarer still, does she let her regard for Mare cloud her judgment.
"I do, General Farley." He glances quickly between Farley and me. I wince. Mare had made it clear on the balcony a few weeks ago that I would never be her family. It is a wound that festers still, and that single implication ripped it open anew. My feelings for her are still a raw nerve ending, a live wire that sends a shock through me whenever her name brushes against me. I suppose that is only fitting, though. "Now, can we get on with the briefing?"
It is a short briefing, just updates on supplies and news that is steadily coming in from Norta. I am only half listening and contribute even less to the discussion. I am preoccupied with trying to figure out which mission Mare was recruited for. I even toyed with the idea of joining that mission, so I could watch her back, even if it is from afar.
When the meeting adjourns, I get up to leave, but a heavy hand falls on my shoulder.
"Calore, a word please?" I oblige, allowing the room to empty before I say anything.
"Premiere Davidson, what can I do for you?"
"Actually, there is something I can do for you." I raise an eyebrow at him. "It has to do with the mission Miss Barrow was recruited for." He has my full attention now, and he knows it. "She leaves tonight; I thought I would give you a chance to say goodbye."
"There is no mission scheduled for departure toda—" That bastard is sending her after Maven. The temperature in the room rises rapidly and white hot flame dances in the palm of my hand. A blue wall of energy erupts between us. His shield. "Where is she?" There is a feral edge to my voice. I want to punch the smug look right off his face. I will tear him limb from limb if he does anything that results in Mare being killed or captured again.
"Training in Gymnasium four."
I tear across the compound at a full run not stopping for anyone or anything. When I reach the doors, I stop cold. I can't approach her like this. She will already be furious that I know; I can't go in there flushed and riled up.
I slip in through a side entrance quietly. I want to find Mare before she sees me. The gym appears to be empty; maybe she is in one of the practice areas. When I do find her, I am perplexed by what I see. I lean against the doorframe and watch her. There is a web of strings crisscrossing the room, the ends tied to eight-foot poles placed around the room in a rough square shape. There is a bell tied to every line. I couldn't make it through that mess if I tried. She takes a deep breath and begins. I am transfixed as I watch her move through it. Her lithe body twisting and stretching, bending in ways that cause a silver flush to rise on my neck. I know exactly how flexible she is and it takes a great deal of effort not to think about her in my bed. The way she moves is more like a dance than anything else. The grace with which she turns and contorts is unlike anything I have ever seen. Such long sleek lines for such a small woman. Her strength and confidence are mesmerizing. She is close to the other side of the room now, and her seeing me is inevitable, but I can't focus long enough to come up with anything intelligent to say my thoughts and my eyes stray to places they shouldn't. My control is simply an illusion right now. It catches me off guard when she speaks.
"A gentleman announces his presence when he enters a room. And he sure as hell doesn't stare open-mouthed at a lady's ass. Lady Blonos would be appalled if she could see the Crown Prince now." Her words are scathing. I'm not surprised by them, but they do hurt. "I suppose you wouldn't need to announce yourself, though since the temperature in the room rises ten degrees when you look at me; fifteen when you're aroused." How can she be so crass about our relationship?
"Mare, I—"
"I'm busy. What do you want, Cal?" I drag my hands through my hair and sigh. I watch her bend backward over the last set of strings and flip her legs over, landing delicately before turning away. She hadn't made a single sound as she made her way through her impossible obstacle course. It's the thief in her. It guides her instincts better than any of the training I have given her.
"You're incredible." She whips around to face me. The flash of despair in her eyes could have killed me, but it disappears too quickly, replaced by a mask of cool indifference.
"And you are stalling. I'm glad we cleared that up." When she turns away from me, I notice that she is wearing the little red stone earring with the rest of them. It has been weeks since I saw her with her hair up, but I figured when she pulled away from me, that was it. That she would push away everything that reminded her of me the way that I did with her.
"Please, don't go." I have to squeeze the words out of my constricted throat. She lifts her head out of the towel in her hands and looks at my face for the time in weeks. "Please, Mare." The pleading note in voice unsettles me. There is only one other time in my life I have begged for something, and the memory of it haunts my dreams still. The blood and misery eat away at me.
"Cal." She makes my heart ache with a single word. I know the same thought struck her. She was there, witness to my weakest moment. Then like a switch, she is cold again. "Davidson wasn't supposed to tell you about the mission until I was gone."
"So, you would rather keep secrets from me rather than face me? That is real big of you Mare." I'm angry.
"I wanted to avoid this." She motions between us. "It's stupid and pointless."
"So is going after Maven right now. He and his new Queen are at Whitefire, surrounded by Sentinels and legions of soldiers. Archaeon is not safe for anyone, least of all you." I lower my voice. I hadn't realized I was yelling. I rarely did it and never at her. "If they catch you..." My voice breaks.
"If they catch me, they won't get anything out of me." I don't miss the insinuation or the bitterness in her tone. "And Maven won't kill me, especially if I return to him willingly." I thought my heart was already broken, but that pain was nothing compared to the shattered feeling in my chest at this moment.
"Are you doing this just to satisfy your need for vengeance?" I'm struggling to keep the emotion out of my voice. "Because killing him won't make it hurt any less. You should know that better than anyone. Killing Elara didn't—"
"Don't." Her eyes flash dangerously. I love her fire, but today, it burns me. I raise my hands in surrender. I don't want to fight with her. I just want her to be safe; to come home.
"If you won't hear it from me, at least talk to Farley about it. She lost him too." It was a low blow, and I regret it as soon as I close my mouth.
"I have heard it. I have heard it from everyone. I don't want to discuss it anymore."
"I'm just trying to have a meaningful conversation with you about this, Mare. I'm sorry I brought her up, but the thought of you being killed or captured... He can't have you, not again. I would be inconsolable; there would be nothing left of me if... if you..." The words die in my throat. I looked away from her while I was talking and didn't notice her move toward me. Just like the night we met, I didn't see her until she touched me. Only this time she wasn't trying to pick my pocket. I instead, she slid her arms around me and buried her face in my shirt just as she had a hundred times before. I hold onto her as if it will save her life and in the back of my mind, I hope it will. I press a kiss into her hair causing her to stiffen in my arms. I chide myself; too much.
"I'm not just doing this for me, for my vengeance. I'm doing it for you too. "
"For me?" Does she think I want this for her? To make her responsible for another death? The lives she has taken already weigh on her mind. I have never wanted to add more to it, especially a weight as heavy as my little brother.
"Yes. I want you to achieve your goals. To be happy even though I wasn't enough to do that for you." She knows exactly how to land a blow. "If being King will make you happy, I will help you make it happen." I'm at a loss. I am used to Mare's selfish need to protect herself. To her need to sacrifice to save another life. But this. This is new.
"Being King will not make me happy. It is a duty that will make me miserable. It will be a challenge, a constant stream of sacrifices, a thankless job with no reprieve. I am responsible for this country as all my fathers have been before me." I pause and lift her chin with two fingers. I want her to see me when I say this. "Mare, you are my joy. Even when we were at each other's throats, I was happier than before I met you. You have always been enough." I catch one of her tears on my thumb and brush it away. I'd give almost anything to kiss her right now.
"Please don't... I'm not strong enough to say no again." Her voice is small and strained. It cuts right through me.
"You've already given me your answer and your reasons. I won't bring it up again." I swallow hard. "I've missed you." She buries her face in my shirt again in response. At least she has stopped crying. I feel so useless when she cries. "When do you leave?"
"Wheels up at sundown." It's only a whisper against my chest.
"You should go get some rest. You'll need your strength if you are going to face Maven."
"I should," She pulls out of my arms. I feel cold without her. Her fingers close around mine. "But I would much rather go take a hot shower and talk you through the details of operation KingMaker. The look in her eyes reduces me to ash. A smoldering gaze of melting chocolate imploring me to touch her. By my colors, I want to touch her.
"Mare, are you sure this is what you want?" She nods, slowly, deliberately. I let her pull me towards the locker room, a shiver of anticipation running down my spine.
As soon as the door shuts, she shoves me back against it, pressing herself against me kissing me with a ferocity that I did not know she possessed outside of the battlefield. She already has her fingers wrapped around my belt buckle. Pulling me closer. She catches my lip in her teeth as she grinds against me. I close my eyes; a feeble attempt to keep control of myself. I have to make a conscious effort to keep from touching her right now; there is no doubt in me that I will burn her. My breathing is heavy and ragged. Her giggle pulls me back to her. Mare does not giggle.
"What?"
"Your heat is warping the metal."
"Yeah, well, you're sexy as hell and teasing the fuck out me right now. What do you want from me?" Her brown eyes glitter and a smirk drips from her lips. I can't help but wonder what she has in store for me. She licks her lips.
"Complete submission." I raise my eyebrows.
"Excuse me?"
"I want the future King of Norta to bend to me every whim—to obey my every command— to fall to his knees before me and ask for the privilege to touch me." I am a Crown Prince, a general, I will be King, But I will be damned if I am not also melting wax in her hands. I am hers.
The tile is unyielding as my knees hit them. The look on her face as she looks at me is an odd mix of desire and sadness. I wish I knew where her head was. I know she is with me, but I can't tell where her sadness is coming from. I suppose it doesn't matter if she is sad about the time we lost or the time we are going to lose.
"Mare?" Her thoughts come back to the present, and she blinks a couple of times. I offer her a smile, and to my surprise, she gives me one in return.
"Yes, My King?" There is a sweetness in her voice that betrays her desire to dominate me, addressing me as she would, were she one of my people. I could play this game for the rest of my life.
"I am yours to command, But I beg you; allow me to touch you, to please you." She pretends to consider my request, and for the briefest moment, I am afraid she will deny me.
"Yes." I reach for her. Standing again, I put my hands in a modest position on her waist. I move to kiss her, but she puts a finger to my lips. "There are conditions. Don't be gentle and make me scream."
"Done." She pushes me against the door again reaching over to lock it before ripping my shirt open. I hear the buttons hit the floor and scatter as I kiss her. I force her to open her mouth and let me explore her again. Our sparring always held an edge of sexual tension, but we had never crossed the line into hard, fast, verging on violent sex until now. I would be lying to myself if I said that everything that was happening between us right now wasn't a turn on. The fight for control between us is hot and furious. I love every second of it. I pull her shirt off over her head. She isn't wearing a bra today, How Had I missed that? I shrug off my own shirt. Nothing compares to the feel of her skin on mine.
I draw my kisses down her neck and lift her. She wraps her legs around me, and I turn us so that her back is to the wall. Her fingernails tear into the skin of my back. Mingled with the pain is the light kiss of her lightning. I've come to enjoy the feel of her sparks over the last few months. It's been weeks since I felt them and she has been working on control with the other electricons, maybe today I won't get such a strong shock when she climaxes.
Outside of Corvium, prayers are few and far between in Norta, but that is how my name sounds in her mouth. Almost desperate, almost.
I set her down on the counter that runs along the wall facing the long line of showers. I drop back to my knees. My intention is to remove the rest of her clothes slowly. Let her agonize over wanting me for a few extra seconds. But she has other plans. She kicks her shoes off.
"Calore, I swear; if you don't hurry up I will do it myself, and you'll just have to watch." It was meant as a threat, but I could be into that. Instead, I bend to her whim and all but rip the rest of her clothes off. While she is distracted with unbuttoning my pants, I slip two fingers inside her. If she were anymore turned on, she would be dripping. The noise that escapes her is closer to a purr than a gasp. I am in love with every noise she makes as I twitch my fingers in a come-hither motion and rub her clit with my thumb. I drop down again, this time to taste her. She writhes against my tongue. She moans as I suck. She knots her finger in my hair and pulls my head back.
"Fuck me. Now." She growls.
"Yes, ma'am." I grasp her hips and drive my cock inside her as deep as I can. It is a shock to both of us. A bolt of purple lightning flies past me, grazing my skin before striking a bank of lockers somewhere to my left as she cries out. I resist the urge to ask her if she is okay. I promised I wouldn't be gentle. I keep a hard, fast pace, barely allowing her to breathe. Her moans and purrs turn to screams. If she doesn't calm down, I am going to cum too soon. I change the rhythm. I want to draw this out. I pull back, leaving only the tip inside her. The glare she gives me holds the threat of her power, but I rebel against her. I give her a few shallow thrusts before shoving back into her, hard. She locks her ankles behind my back, holding me there, trying to force me to pleasure her the way she desires. But I am stronger than she is, and I break free. I repeat my pattern several times, after just a few passes, she decides that she actually does like it and gives in to it. I am not satisfied by her contentment.
I grip one of her ankles and force her to bend one of her knees and put her foot up on the counter so I can push deeper inside her. Her head rolls back, her hair dangling on end as I return to the hard fast thrusts she wanted. She reaches down and unclasps my bracelets. I shake them off. There are pink handprints on her body where I have been holding her. The burns are not severe, just like minor sunburns, but still, it twists my heart to see them. They remind me of the "M" burned into the skin over her collarbone courtesy of my little brother.
"I'm sorry." My voice is rough and breathless.
"Don't be. I want to burn for you." I bury my face in her perfect breasts. Her back arches beneath me and her fingers dig into the soft flesh of my sides. Purple flashes in my peripheral vision. Lighting strikes around the room. The residual static prickles against my skin. Her screaming fills my head. I am straining. Trying to hold myself back until I know she has orgasmed. I pull my face off her sweaty chest and watch her. She is close. She stares into my eyes.
"Together."
"Hell, yes." My next few thrusts are at a break-neck pace. Her muscles contract around me, making her even tighter. Her lightning strikes the mirror behind her, the cracks recreating the shape of her bolt. Tiny hairline cracks radiate out from each deep scar. I release with her. Her sparks only adding to my pleasure.
I lift her off the counter and hold her close to me for several minutes before I set her on the floor. I don't want her to be sitting there if the mirror comes down. There are scorch marks and melted laminate where I had braced myself against the counter and the wall. I glance around at the rest of the destruction. I'm impressed by the damage left in the violent wake of our love.
"You should stop by the infirmary and have those burns looked at." She frowns.
"I rather wear them. And they don't hurt, so there is no need." I'm not going to argue with her. Her mind is made up. She looks me up and down. "I will go if you do." It takes me a second to realize she is talking about the scratches and the web of lighting burns on my back and sides. "Then we can both explain to Sarah how we ended up in this condition."
"Didn't you say something about a shower?" She nods. I pull her against me and kiss her softly. I am grateful that she let me change the subject. There is nothing I want less than to tell the woman who is, for all intents and purposes my aunt, that I had rough sex with the woman who broke my heart. "Lead the way."
The advantage to showering with a burner is the water never gets cold.
"That is a terrible plan." We are walking to her family's home on the opposite side of the base. Her fingers are entwined with mine. We take the long way, walking slowly. The day is hot, so I don't mind that my shirt is now missing all but two of its buttons. She has walked me through the basics of the mission, leaving out any specific details. She does it on purpose. I know her better than I know anyone else. I know that she doesn't want me to worry about her, but she also doesn't want to give me any indication of when and where things will be happening in the event that I decide to do something stupid because I love her. She isn't wrong. I have done plenty of stupid things out of love for her.
"You only think that because—one it involves me being alone inside Whitefire, and two because you didn't think of it first." Her thumb rubs little circles into the back of my hand. It is the only sign of how nervous she is about this plan. I squeeze her hand.
"No, I think that because it's dangerous, and you haven't given me enough detail to be sure that you and your handlers know what you are doing. Who came up with this cockamamie plan anyway?" She gives a small laugh.
"I did. It's my mission, start to finish. I approached Davidson about it, and he agreed." I stop, muscles tense. She is intentionally putting herself in danger for me. I was okay when I thought she had been recruited for the mission. I would have had someone else to blame if something went awry. But she is doing this to herself, for me.
"Why?" She turns to me.
"I already told you why."
"Why does it have to be you? "Her features soften.
"Because his twisted obsession with me will keep him from killing me on sight. No one else has that kind of protection." She is right. The brand she wears as a reminder of his cruelty is also an outward symbol of his intent to keep her alive and under his control. I hope that it will protect her from the new Queen as well.
"Mare, I'm going to ask one more time. Please, don't go. Call the mission off. Or at least send someone that He can't identify as part of the Guard in your place." She gives me a sad smile. Her answer is no, and she doesn't even have to say it. She pulls me to her, and I let her.
"You know I can't do that. I helped bring him to power; I have to be the one to bring him down. Besides. The details of the plan only work if it is me. I am a weakness; no one else can get close enough."
"What details would those be?"
"I can't tell you..." I open my mouth to protest. She can tell me whatever she wants too; it's her mission. "Do you remember a few weeks ago when you told me how I got out of the city and why?" I nod. Do you also remember telling me that you were afraid to tell me how involved you were in that plan because you didn't want it to change how I look at you?" I nod again; I know where this is going. "I don't want to be a monster, but you knowing the details of what I am about to do, will make me just that. In my eyes and yours."
"Okay." I don't accept her answer, but I do understand it. And I can't fault her following my poor example.
"I'll tell you when I come home. I promise." We both know that is probably a lie and it makes neither of us feel better.
The remainder of the walk to the residential district is quiet. Neither of us feels much like talking. There is nothing to be said. I walk her to the door and say a quick goodbye. I don't want to draw this out. It hurts too much to say much of anything. When I turn away, she grabs my hand again.
"Will you be there to see me off?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." When she lets me go, I make it to the end of the walk before she stops me again.
"Cal?" I close my eyes and take a deep breath as her voice brushes against me. I should turn around, but I am afraid of the look I will see in her eyes.
"Yes, Mare"
"I missed you too." I turn back just as she launches herself at me. I catch her in my arms. I glance sheepishly at her father who is watching us from the window. He gives a small nod and turns away. I kiss his beloved daughter goodbye.
I stand on the tarmac with Davidson waiting for Mare to arrive.
After I had left her with her family and changed my shirt, I went to Farley with mare's ridiculous plan. She has Clara in her arms when she answers the door, and it is one of the few times I have heard her cry. The sound is heart-wrenching.
"Oh, that stupid girl." I glare at her. "Don't look at me like that Calore. The plan is stupid, and she is being stupid." She is right. I can't fight her, but I don't have to like it either. I sigh. "What do you want to do about it?" Her question throws me for a loop. I look at her questioningly. "I assume you have a plan to stop her."
"No. I don't." She looks at me dumbfounded. "What I have, is a plan to extract her after she has completed her mission."
"You are just going to let her go?"
"When are people going to realize that I don't LET Mare Barrow do anything? Mare does what Mare wants; I have no say in it. I never have." My tone is defensive, but it's true. She almost never listens to me, and when she does, it is because I am agreeing with her. "This is going to sound weird, but may I hold Clara?" Farley looks drained and like she could use a break. The crying isn't helping either. He hesitates. Not certain of my intentions, but she eventually relents.
"Support her head." I take the advice, not bothering to tell her that I know how to hold a baby. I had won over certain members of the guard by being good with the kids. Teaching them, training them, even playing with them, But I had never told anyone why I am so good with children, not even Mare. After my first visit to the front as a solider, not on a tour with visiting officers, I realized the way that families were being decimated and devastated by the war. I started visiting orphanages when I would slip out of the palace. I cared for war-orphaned children whenever I could.
I took Clara from her and laid her on my arm with her tiny head resting against the bend of my elbow. I bounced her and swayed with her as I patted her back. It only took a few minutes to calm the baby and lull her to sleep. Sometimes they just need a change of scenery to easy their tiny sufferings. Farley looks at me with wide eyes.
"You just have to be good at everything, don't you?" Her tone is soft, and she is smiling, A rare sight from Farley. I smile back.
"Babies just like me. It's inexplicable." I lay Clara in her bassinet and cover her with a little purple blanket. The stitching on it is so delicate and intricate; only Gisa could have made it.
"Alright Calore, out with it. What's going on?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"This morning, you were little more than a brooding ball of misery. This afternoon, you are smiling, holding babies, and hatching schemes to save a girl you haven't spoken to in weeks from a dangerous situation that she is hellbent on throwing herself into." She collapses onto the couch. "Davidson didn't tell you what the mission was, did he?" I stare at the floor. "Mare did. Is she also the reason you are favoring your left side?" One of the electrical burns on my left side hurts a little more than the others, but I hadn't realized I was favoring it. I straighten up immediately.
"Yes."
"Was it a fight or...?" She intentionally trails off. Uncomfortable with the subject.
"We didn't fight. Twice." She puts a hand up. The conversation is over.
"So what's your extraction plan?"
"I am going to monitor her progress from here until she gets into Whitefire, Then I'm leaving for Anabel's estate, then The Kingdom of Rift. I will pull her out of Whitefire myself if I have to."
"Your plan is also stupid and dangerous."
"I know. The state has not yet guarded against the Rift and I have to be inside Norta's defenses when Maven goes down, or I will lose my chance."
"Your chance of saving Mare or seizing the throne?"
"Both. Or just her... I haven't decided yet.
While I did Mare's pre-flight check; I went back and forth over all the decisions that I have made since I met the little red girl from the Stilts near Summerton. Even after hours of internal debating, I still have not decided what the right decision is. I'm sure that this was Davidson's plan all along. Why he gave me the chance to be with Mare this afternoon, he wanted me to waver so he could set up a provisional government when Maven falls.
As I stand with him now, I resist the urge to give him a lashing. Instead, I turn to him and offer him my hand.
"Thank you, for giving me the chance to say goodbye to her." He shakes my hand.
"To be honest, I thought she might kill one or both of us for it, but I thought the risk would be worth it to you both." I pull my hand away. "Consider it an apology for my hand in your splitting up." The more he speaks, the harder it is not to throttle him. I hear the truck before I see it. Farley volunteered to feign ignorance of Mare's mission, so I figure that one, or both of her brothers will bring her. When I see her face, It strikes me how afraid I am that the mission will fail and I will never see her again. I hold my composure though, silently grateful for nineteen years of relentless conditioning to never show emotions. She had always been able to read me, though. I felt like an open book in her presence. She takes Davidson's hand.
"Premiere Davidson."
"Good Luck, Miss Barrow." When she turns away, her hand brushes my pocket ever so lightly. I grab her wrist. We have come full circle. How fitting that our first and last touch be the same. I let go of her and glance around; no one seemed to notice the moment. As she walks away from me, she glances back over her shoulder, a meaningful look on her face. I put my hand in my pocket and pull out a little piece of paper.
"Dismiss my pilot. Come with me." This woman is going to be the death of me.
As Mare disappears up the cargo ramp, I slink off to the side door that I had left open after my check. I was hoping to use it to get a more privet goodbye with her, but it seems that I will get something better. I startle the pilot when I enter the cockpit.
"Sir? Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yes, soldier; you can get out of my chair."
"But Sir? I have orders to—" I place a heated hand on his shoulder.
"Your assignment has been revoked. Effective immediately." The soldier gets up without another word. I glance quickly at the instruments. Mare has closed the cargo ramp. "Use the side door, soldier." As soon as the door closes, I start the takeoff sequence; I don't want to give anyone the chance to stop us as they figure out what happened. I see mare reflected in the glass as I throttle forward for takeoff.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" She buckles herself into the seat next to me.
"The first stop is the Notch for supplies."
"And Then?"
"Archeon."