A/N: I know, I know, but they're just such a fun pair. They, besides Matsu and Silabus, are my darlings from GU. Really, I'm hoping someone will jump on the band wagon and write some things for me to read instead :)

Like before, there's not a whole lot of concrete information on these two. All I know for certain is that OhmRICE is school age, and Kaki Leader is about twenty years his senior, give or take a couple years. This fic was based off the mention of a camping trip in one forum post, but other than that, everything you see here is my imagination, not fact; chalk any mistakes up to an uninformed writer :)

DISCLAIMER: I disclaim.

--

"Mom, come on, it's just a weekend. And you know Shogo, he's a nice guy. You'll know exactly where I am-"

My mom gave me a flat stare, and I shut my mouth quickly, hoping I hadn't just jeopardized my chances. Once she made up her mind, it was made up, but she was still wavering right now. If I could just push the right buttons, she'd let me go, I knew it.

"Honey, I like Shogo, but the first time he was here, he almost suffocated you." low blow, Mom. I thought we were over that.

"Yeah, but he made you dinner! Italian, Mom. I could learn from him."

She looked doubtful at that, which wasn't surprising; my cooking skills were not to be boasted of. But Kaki Leader cooked really well, and I was pretty sure that dinner had caused her to fall in love with him a little. We hadn't told Dad about that.

It had been a couple months since my mom had found out about my friends from 'The World'. She hadn't been too happy at first(think month-long grounding), and of course my almost-death by suffocation hadn't helped much, but she'd warmed up a little since then, somewhat due to Kaki Leader's schmoozing on her and my stories of impending disasters he'd helped me avert. I was hoping she'd warmed up enough to let me go camping with Kaki Leader and some of the other guys from bad $$, but it was proving to be more difficult than expected.

"Kotarou, I just don't know. They're so much older-"

I rolled my eyes mentally. This battle was not over yet. I had not yet begun to fight.

"They're not all Shogo's age, Mom. One is the same age as me." a slight white lie. Umbrella was indeed the same age, but he was living by himself and was actually a freshman in college. Thus, he had no parents around to tell him whether or not he could go on camping trips with online friends. But my mother didn't need to know that.

She opened her mouth again, but before she could say anything, the doorbell rang. She gave me one last look and went to answer it. From the video camera, Kaki Leader waved, giving us a friendly smile.

Suck up. Geez.

My mother went to open the door, and I followed behind her, crossing my fingers. Maybe Kaki could convince her where I couldn't.

"Hi, Mrs. Takahashi, how are you? I stopped by the bakery and brought some sweets." he said in greeting when she opened the door. I watched my mom's shoulders straighten up and the smile bloom on her face as he held up a white box from the bakery down the way. She let him in immediately, wiping her hands on her apron absentmindedly as she chattered on about how thoughtful he was.

My mother has a crush on my thirty-four year old best friend, who brings her baked goods and cooks dinner for her. Good evening, this is OhmRICE.

–

"Hey, Kaki? I know my mom's nice and all, but, uh, she's married. So you really should, you know, not flirt with her. It's kind of uncomfortable."I said as I hopped into the passenger seat, throwing my backpack into the rear. From the driver's seat, Kaki gave me a wry glance and socked me in the shoulder.

"Ease up, ButtRICE. It got you on the trip, right? Besides, your mom's good-looking. What's wrong with that?"

I thought about telling him for the bazillionth time that my name was NOT ButtRICE, but he never listened anyway, so what was the point? Instead, I slumped back against the seat and looked out the window, wondering how long our drive was going to be. We were still in the city, so it had to be a ways, and unless Kaki had been there before, we were likely to get lost. His sense of direction was terrible.

Did he have a map? Should I have brought a map? Oh geez, did I bring my toothbrush? Oops.

"Who all is going?" I asked quietly, just to keep conversation flowing.

I knew the look on his face well as he mulled it over. Kaki was handsome, far more so than I was, and he didn't look his thirty-four years. Even in casual clothes, it was obvious that he was intelligent and witty from his posture and the quick grins he flashed. He was in shape too, way more than I ever would be, no matter how hard I tried. Some people just got all the luck.

"Us, Umbrella," he listed as he switched lanes, "maybe Nogmung, but he has to get off work first, and some of Umbrella's friends. So... six people?"

I smiled at that. Enough people that there would probably be drinking involved. Umbrella, Kaki Leader, and drinking made a funny combination.

"You gonna fall off another cliff? Should we keep you on a leash this time?" I teased, grinning as he glared at me.

"Hey! That was not my fault! They put sake in my coffee and it reacted with my cold medicine!" I snickered and crossed my legs. Outside the window, a couple passed our car as we stalled at a stop light.

"It's all that crappy music you listen to. Makes you sick."

Once they had crossed the street safely, she stepped up onto the curb and pitched sideways, high heel turning her ankle. He caught her easily and looked at her worriedly, then smiled and kissed her.

"And you're much better, Mr. Boy-band Fanatic?"

She must have licked his nose, because his face screwed up and he swiped at it with his sleeve.

"Soul Savior is not a boy band! Get it right!"

"Tch, don't get so defensive, ButtRICE. You need some Midol?"

"My name is not ButtRICE! It's Ohm! O-H-M! And I am not a woman!"

After she had readjusted her hat and steadied herself, they took off down the street again, laughing and talking.

"Then quit acting like one." I made a face and flipped him the finger

Times like that made me forget why we were friends.

–

"OhmRICE, seriously? Do you burn water too?" Umbrella asked between coughs. Nogmung snatched the frying pan off the fire and took it to the water spigot, covering his mouth with his sleeve so he didn't inhale any smoke. The frying pan popped and sizzled as he washed the blackened mess out of it. It didn't even look like rice anymore, it was that burned. I had no idea how I'd even done it.

My eyes were watering too, but I wasn't sure it was all from the smoke. I turned from the fire quickly and swiped at them, hoping nobody saw. I told them not to let me cook. I was a klutz in the kitchen. At least they had brought extra rice, so dinner was salvageable.

"You should probably sit this one out, Ohm." Nogmung called as he carried the dripping fry pan back. One of Umbrella's friends was busy measuring out more rice to go with the curry; I couldn't help but feel disgusted that a fifteen year old could cook rice better than me.

"Yeah, got it covered." I muttered under my breath, slumping out of the cooking area to find a place to nurse my hurt feelings.

I didn't wander too far before I found a cliff overhang I could sit on and see the river below. The waxing moon gave a lot of light to see by; its reflection was hazy and distant on the waters below, but if I put my mind to it, I could imagine what the stars would look like, mirrored in the river. One day, I would go north and see them for myself, away from the light smog of the city.

Normally, I played it off pretty well, but being an absent-minded klutz all the time was hard. I was always getting into some sort of trouble – burning dinner, losing my phone, falling in a puddle. I got lost, was late to school, missed my curfew. Maybe all teens were like that, but I didn't care. Nogmung, Blue Eye Samurai, Applestar, even Umbrella – they were so much more mature than me. Focused. Smart. Kaki Leader too; he always had the one-up on everyone. He had a good job, a nice house, a slew of pretty girlfriends, admirable even if none of them stayed for long.

"Kotarou? That you?" Speak of the devil. He must've known I was upset. He didn't use my real name otherwise. It was the exact opposite for me; even when he was depressed(which was never), I called him Kaki. I guess it was his nickname in real life, not just online. My mom called him Shogo just because Kaki was a reminder he was an online friend, and I tried to downplay that as much as possible.

He came and sat beside me quietly and slung an arm around my shoulder.

"Don't be down, kid. We have more rice. Not everyone can be a super chef like me, you know?"

I shrugged, keeping my mouth shut. I didn't trust my voice yet, and I really didn't want to betray how upset I was to Kaki. He wouldn't make fun of me, not when I was really riled up like this, but I hated to look weak around him.

After a moment of silence, he pulled me closer and gave me a one-armed hug, clearly out of comforting words. It was just as well; the moment I came into contact with his side, I wasn't worried about the cooking fiasco anymore.

Somewhere in this mess, I should probably mention that I have a slight crush on Kaki Leader.

Slight meaning, the fact that he was hugging me was causing my heart to skip at alarming intervals and I was probably blushing from the tips of my ears to my toenails.

The moon wasn't bright enough to show my darkening face, but my heartbeat seemed lough enough to be used in a brass band. Kaki, luckily, didn't seem to notice. His arm was warm around my shoulders, and his worn jacket wasn't thick enough to hide the toned muscles of his torso. I didn't look up at his face; I knew the concern I would see there would make me lose it.

"Seriously. Don't sweat it." he said gruffly, squeezing my shoulder again. I shrugged and looked away.

"I..." what were we talking about again? "I can't do anything without screwing it up." And I was going to try my hardest not to screw this up too, but if Kaki kept leaning closer, I was going to be walking back to house and he was never going to speak to me again.

"Hey. Hey, Kotarou, look at me."

I turned my head, and my nose bumped his chin.

Wow, he was really close.

Gulp.

His dark eyes were boring into mine, and there was something intense there that I didn't understand at all. He leaned a little closer, and I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but my throat was too dry and nothing was coming out-

"Kaki! ButtRICE! Dinner's ready! Get up here, or you won't get any!"

We jumped away from each other like magnets with the same polarity, but Umbrella was already crunching his way back to camp. He hadn't even seen us. Jerk. Saviour. I wasn't sure how I felt about the interruption.

After a tense moment, Kaki coughed and stood up, then offered me a hand.

"They all call you ButtRICE now."

"I know, and it's all your fault."

"Well, if you're going to spell your name that way..."

I glared and punched him in the shoulder, faking an angry scowl.

"Can't you read? It's OHM! Not a butt!"

Another disaster averted.

Good night, this is OhmRICE, signing out.

–

A/N: Now, I'm not making any promises for a sequel, but I promise I have intentions of eventually resolving this conflict between those two. It might just, you know, take a while. Uh-huh.

Reviews are appreciated! Do you feel I've stayed in character?