Clan Craziness
Disclaimer
Ashfur: Deadmeet9 does not own Warriors.
Deadmeet9: Why you little- (Strangles Ashfur)
Ashfur (Choking): Deadmeet9 *gag* does not own The Simpsons *wheeze* either.
Chapter 1 - The Rubber Mouse
One day, Firestar & Brambleclaw were hunting in the forest when they saw a Twoleg playing with a rubber mouse.
Firestar: Hey, Brambleclaw, why is that Twoleg hunting mice?
Brambleclaw: Dunno. Maybe they're low on cash to buy food.
Firestar: Well I'm hungry. Let's attack him!
Brambleclaw and Firestar attacked the Twoleg. Unfortunately for Brambleclaw, the Twoleg happened to have a flamethrower, and he incinerated Brambleclaw. Then the Twoleg ran back to his house to play Resident Evil 5.
Firestar: Brambleclaw! No! Why?!
Brambleclaw: … I'm … not … dead!
Firestar: Shut up! I'm mourning the loss of Brambleclaw! (Rakes his claws across Brambleclaw's face)
Brambleclaw: Ughhhghhh… Ughhgh… Galoogahhhhghhhggg… Pbbbthhhh… belch… (Dies)
Firestar: Good riddance. Now where was I…? Oh yeah… Brambleclaw, WHY? Oh well, at least I get the mouse.
Firestar returned to camp and added the mouse to the fresh kill pile.
Firestar: All cats old enough to catch their own prey, GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS OVER HERE!
Ashfur: What now? This is the fifth meeting you've called today!
Firestar: I'll have you know, those meetings about my pet mouse dying were very important to me!
Ashfur: YOU ATE YOUR PET MOUSE!
Firestar: You're not the boss of me, Ashfur! I am! Anyway, we gather here today-
Ashfur: (Grumbling) Again…
Firestar: -to appoint a new deputy. As you all know, Brambleclaw is dead, and-
Brackenfur: Brambleclaw died? But how?
Squirrelflight: WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ashfur: So Squirrelflight, I see you need a new mate. Heh heh.
Hollyleaf: Ashfur, stop hitting on my mom you freak!
Hollyleaf took out an M16 and gunned Ashfur to death. It is still a mystery as to how she did that without opposable thumbs.
Firestar: Hollyleaf, what have I told you about killing Ashfur?
Hollyleaf: I'm sorry, sir.
Firestar: It's not OK. The new deputy is Icepaw. Thank you. Have a good lunch.
Icepaw: Booyah!
Foxpaw: No fair! How come she gets to be deputy and not me?
Firestar: Fine! You're both deputy! Happy?
Foxpaw & Icepaw: Yes, Firestar.
Longtail: Hey! Hold on! First, you can't have two deputies. Second, you can't make apprentices deputies!
Firestar: Too bad! Now everyone go have your lunch!
Everyone left for lunch. Cloudtail arrived at the fresh-kill pile first and picked out a mouse.
Cloudtail: Ah, time for a delicious mouse.
Cloudtail attempts to eat the mouse, but it was rubbery and hard. Cloudtail spit it out in disgust.
Cloudtail: Eww! This mouse is disgusting! It's hard, rubbery and purple… just like rubber! I'd rather eat crowfood! Gross!
Firestar: What's gross?
Cloudtail: This mouse! That's what's gross!
Firestar: How dare you! Brambleclaw gave his life to feed the clan with that mouse! The mouse gave its life to StarClan! Now eat it right now!
Cloudtail: O-okay. *Chomp* *Chew* *Swallow* *Burp* *Die*
Firestar: And that's the end of that. Hahaha… Hahahahaha… Bwahahahahaha… Muahahaha- *cough* *choke* *wheeze* -hahahahahahahahahaha… hahaha… ha…
Sandstorm: Awkward…
Deadmeet9: This is my first Warriors FanFic. Tell me if you like it!
Sandstorm: What's a FanFic?
Deadmeet9: Umm…