The One Where Ross Almost Finds Out
Chandler slowly stuck his head out of his room and looked around his and Joey's apartment. Except for the incessant hum of Ross's air purifier the room was quiet. As Chandler's eyes adjusted to the light coming from the windows he could see Ross on the fold out bed. He was asleep. Good. Taking a deep breath, Chandler slowly inched his way out of his room. One step, two, three… Out of no where, Duck appeared. He took one look at Chandler and began quacking.
"Shhhh!" Chandler tried to hush the duck.
"What? What's going on? Chandler? What are you doing up?" Ross looked at Chandler in bemusement.
"Sorry man. I just…just…um…had to use the bathroom. Yeah, that's it…the bathroom. I have to go to the bathroom!"
"Sure, fine man, whatever. Could you just get the bird to shut up. I'm trying to sleep here."
"Nor problem Ross. Sorry I woke you." Damn!
Forty five minutes later Chandler once again peeked his head out from behind his door. Everything was still once again. His eyes searched the room. There was Ross, back asleep. There were the chick and the duck in their basket, asleep. Chandler slowly closed his door behind him and snuck toward the kitchen. He kept his eyes on Ross as he passed by, watching for any sign he might wake. Then Joey walked out of the bathroom and right into Chandler.
"Bah!" they both screamed.
"What is going on?" Ross grumbled. "Chandler what are you doing up again?"
"Yeah, and why weren't you watching where you were going?" Joey added.
"I had to go to the bathroom." Chandler felt trapped. He hoped Joey would figure out where he had been going and not let on to Ross. Was he buying the story?
"Again?" Was that suspicion he saw in Ross's eyes or just annoyance?
"I had a lot of soda before I went to bed. I guess I shouldn't have Supersized it." Chandler got a chuckle out of Joey and grinned at his roommate. Trust Joey to help him out. I couldn't have a better roommate. I'm glad I don't have to keep the secret from him any more.
Third times the charm Chandler thought as he looked around the apartment. Ross, check. Birds, check. Joey, check. Bathroom, check. Check? Where did that come from?!? Shaking it out of his mind, he carefully, very carefully, walked across the apartment. Made it! Reaching Monica and Rachel's place, he carefully cracked the door open and looked around. No one was in the kitchen or the main room. Going all the way in, Chandler closed the door behind him. He paused, listening and looking. Rachel's door was closed and there was no light coming from it or the bathroom around the corner. It would be much harder explaining to Rachel why he was here than explaining to Ross why he had been out of his room. Chandler made his way to Mon's room. The door was open just a crack but there was no light on. He went into her room and locked the door behind him. No point in taking chances. Leaning up against the door, Chandler looked down at Monica's bed. She had fallen asleep on top of the covers waiting for him. He didn't blame her; he saw that the clock by her bed read 2:13. He was hesitant to wake her. She looked so beautiful lying there. She was wearing a silky light burgundy negligee that stopped high on her thighs, exposing her shapely legs. Thinking about how smooth and soft those legs felt under his fingers made Chandler grin; thinking about what she was wearing or not wearing under that negligee decided it. Sliding up to her bed, he leaned over, pushed her hair away from her face, and whispered "Monica. Mon. Wake up. I'm here." When he only got a murmur for a response he leaned over even farther and gave her a kiss on the lips.
Monica awoke feeling Chandler's lips on hers. Without being fully awake, she returned the kiss. As she became more aware, she slid her hands along his shoulders and down his arms, guiding him into her bed. Once he was lying beside her she released the kiss.
"What took you so long? I tried to stay up, but it got so late that I figured you couldn't get away."
"I almost didn't. When I first tried to come over, the duck decided it wanted to be a watchdog told Ross I was up. The second time, I ran head first into Joey. Both times I told Ross I had to use the bathroom. I think he believed me"
Monica laughed. "We are going to have to think of a better way of doing this,"
"Hey Mon." Chandler made a face. "I have to go to the bathroom."
Chandler leaned over Monica's sleeping body to check the clock. 5:54. They had set it for 6:00 so Chandler could get back to his bed before anyone woke up. Chandler looked down at Monica and smiled. I love you, he thought. I love you and I'm not afraid to think it. But I am afraid to tell you. Maybe not afraid exactly. After all, you love me too. Don't you? Pushing his doubts aside for the moment, Chandler laid back down and pulled Monica into an embrace; content to wait out the remaining time just holding her.
Monica sat up in bed and watched Chandler put on his bathrobe. "Maybe I should come over to you place tonight."
"What? With Ross living with me? I'm not sure that's a good idea, Mon."
"Why not?" she asked. "No offense Chandler but I'm a lot better at sneaking around than you."
"But Mon…"
"Tonight I'm coming over to your place."
Chandler sighed. Arguing would just make it worse. "Yes Monica. What time should I expect you?"
At 12:58 Monica snuck out of her room. She figured it would take her two minutes to get from her room to Chandler's meaning she would arrive in his bedroom at 1:00 exactly. Reaching the door to Chandler's and Joey's apartment, she cautiously turned the knob and quickly opened and closed the door, slipping through the narrow opening she had made for herself. With her back to the door, she inspected the room. She wasn't going to make the same mistakes Chandler had. She saw that her brother was sleeping next to that stupid air purifier of his. How could Chandler have made enough noise to be heard over that? She loved him but sometimes he could be so clumsy. Maybe clumsy wasn't the right word. His boundless energy just carried him away sometimes. Monica smiled in the dark. She had discovered that his boundless energy made for nights she had never even imagined were possible.
Enough daydreaming. Just a few steps and you'll have the reality. Now get moving! Scolding herself, Monica left the relative safety of the door and started across the room. Just as she was about to reach out for the knob of Chandler's door she tripped and fell head first into it. Chandler had left it open a crack so she fell right into his room. The force of her fall caused the door to slam up against the wall.
Chandler stared in amazement as Monica toppled into his room. Realizing the danger immediately, he leapt off his bed and over Mon's sprawled body in a single bound. He entered the main room just as Joey came out of his room. Ross was sitting up in bed, looking around for the source of the noise. "Chandler what the hell was that?"
Both Joey and Ross were staring at him. Ross with anger; Joey with confusion. Chandler's mind was working frantically but his attention was focused on Monica, not the guys. She had hit his door really hard and he was worried that she might have hurt herself. He peered into his room and saw that at least she had been able to move herself out of view.
"Chandler!" Chandler's head spun from his room to face Ross. He had gotten out of bed and was now standing right in front of Chandler. Chandler jumped back in surprise. Ross's eyes darted to Chandler's bedroom and then to Chandler himself. "Do you have an explanation for this? And don't tell me you have to go to the bathroom. Something strange is going on and I want to know what it is. Why do you keeping looking in your room? Is someone in there?"
Chandler hadn't realized that he had started looking for Monica again and yanked his gaze away from his room and faced Ross. This called for a cool explanation, a man in control. Unfortunately, Chandler was not such a man. Oh well, at least I'm a good liar, Chandler thought.
Taking a deep breath, Chandler looked right into Ross's eyes. "Ross, how long have you been living here?"
"Huh? What? I don't know, a little over a week, why? What does that have to do with anything?" Ross knew Chandler was up to something and he intended to get to the bottom of whatever it was.
"And how long has it been since we've lived together?" Was this going to work?
"Seven years. Quit stalling. Just tell me what's going on." Ross was going to take no nonsense.
"I am trying to tell you. Ross…" Another deep breath and a silent wish. "Ross, I…I walk in my sleep."
"What? Since when? Joey, is that true?"
Both Chandler and Ross turned to Joey who had been half-listening, half-sleeping. "What? Is what true?" Joey looked from Ross to Chandler, then back again, confused.
"Does Chandler sleepwalk?" Ross asked again.
Once again, Joey looked from Ross to Chandler, puzzled. He could tell that Chandler was trying to tell him something. What was going on? Chandler didn't walk in his sleep. What had that noise been? Joey concentrated on Chandler. His eyes kept darting from his room to Joey and back again; his face was a mask of intense panic. Joey peered into Chandler's room but didn't see anything. He looked back at Chandler questioningly. Chandler twitched his head toward their door then to Chandler's room. Joey looked at their door. Then at Chandler's bedroom and back to Chandler. He could see the desperation written throughout Chandler's entire body. Then it clicked. Monica. Monica had come in and Chandler didn't want Ross to know. That's what the sleepwalking was all about.
"Joey? Are you listening to me?" Ross's voice broke his concentration.
"Hmm? Yeah, yes, Chandler walks in his sleep. All the time."
Ross turned back to Chandler, "Why didn't you just tell me before?"
"I don't know." Chandler almost sighed in relief. "I just didn't think about it."
"Fine, fine. Can we all just go back to bed now. Chandler, maybe you should lock your door so you won't come wandering out again." Ross didn't know if he could take living with those two much longer. They were so childish.
"Sure Ross, no problem. Good night. Good night Joey." Chandler shot Joey a look of sincere gratitude. Joey gave him the thumbs up and a suggestive raise of the eyebrows. Chandler's face soured and he made a shooing gesture at Joey. He wished Joey would stop thinking about Monica like that. After all, she was the woman he loved.
All thoughts of Joey and Ross vanished when he got into his bedroom and locked the door behind him. "Monica? Monica, where are you? Are you OK?" Chandler's eyes raced around the room in a panic. If anything had happened to her… Maybe it was time they came out with the truth.
Monica's head came peeking up from the other side of the bed. "I'm here. I'm fine."
Chandler rushed around his bed to help her up. "Are you sure you're OK? What did you hit? What happened out there?"
"I tripped over one of Ross's stupid boxes and fell." Monica said ruefully.
"What made that noise? It wasn't your foot hitting the box." Chandler's panic was not subsiding. He helped Monica sit down on his bed and sat himself on the edge near her.
"It was nothing." Instead of arguing, Chandler turned on the little lamp next to his bed and looked at Monica. There was an ugly bump forming by her right temple. Without saying anything to her, Chandler got up and left the room.
"Now what?" Ross grumbled.
"Shut up Ross. Go back to sleep." Chandler curtly dismissed Ross. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a towel, opened the freezer and put a handful of ice in the towel. He poured a glass of water and grabbed a couple of aspirin and headed back to his room.
"What's that for?" Ross asked as he passed. Chandler ignored him and slammed the door shut.
"Here Monica. Put this on your head. Does it hurt much? I brought you some aspirin." Chandler pushed aside his anger and concentrated on Monica. "Let me hold it for you." Chandler held the ice onto Monica's head while she took the pills. "OK, lay down now and try and get some rest. You can stay here until Ross leaves in the morning."
"But, Chandler –"
"No buts Mon. I'm not going to have you break your neck just trying to avoid your stupid brother. If I have to I'll kick him out of here." Chandler was determined not to let Monica talk him out of this.
Monica smiled at Chandler. She didn't think she had ever seen him this angry before. But he's not angry with me; he's angry that I've been hurt. "Can you hold me?"
Chandler blinked in surprise. He had been ready for an argument "Of course I can. Come here." Chandler piled up the pillows and leaned up against them and Monica laid on Chandler, her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his chest.
"Night Chandler. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. Good night Monica." Chandler kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. He wrapped both arms around Mon and let out a contented sigh.
Monica peeked up at Chandler. He looked so sweet lying there. The worry had left his face and in its place a little smile had appeared. She wanted to caress his face but knew from past experience that she would wake him and she wanted to let him sleep. He had been so good about her wanting to keep their relationship a secret. If it had been Richard he would have 'gone along' with Monica but he would not have had fun with it like Chandler. It would have made Monica feel a little childish, and, in the end, she would have told everyone, whether she really wanted to or not. If it had been Pete he probably would have announced their relationship at a shareholder's meeting. Not only did Chandler agree with her about keeping the secret; he felt the same way. That is exactly what she wanted; someone who thought like her and wanted the same things without having to be told. She loved Chandler and she wanted to wake him up and tell him. But he might think it was the pain talking. Now was not the right time. Giving Chandler a little squeeze, Monica fell asleep.
Chandler felt Monica squeeze him. He wasn't asleep. The last few weeks kept swirling through his mind. The first days after getting back to New York they hadn't spoken much; just made love to each other and held each other. Looking back, he thought they had been to scared by what was happening to talk about it. But as the days had become week they had started talking to each other. First, it was all small talk about the day and their friends, then about themselves. Chandler had told Monica things he had never talked about before. About his childhood and his 'relationship' with his dad. About his relationships with women; well, with Janice and Kathy. That some part of him felt that there was something wrong with him and that was why they had cheated on him. She had told him about her relationship with her Mom and her personal relationships too. She was afraid that she was expecting too much. Chandler had felt intensely jealous when she had been talking about Richard. Richard was a cool guy who had his life under control; the exact opposite of him. Sure, he and Monica had talked about all this stuff before…but it was different now. He hadn't been afraid to show her how hurt he had been and how scared he was. He knew he could open up with Mon and she wouldn't make fun of his pain or think less of him because he was afraid. He loved her and he trusted her. There. That was at the heart of it all. He loved her. Monica. He knew he should tell her soon. Since he had blurted it out on Thanksgiving he was sure she was wondering whether he meant it. He did. Like he never meant anything else in his life. Maybe I should wake her right now and tell her, he thought. Peering down at her though he could tell she was asleep. The bump on her head was starting to look nasty; more ice would probably be a good idea. It can wait. She needs the rest. Shifting Monica so she lay on the pillows Chandler got up and went into the kitchen. He didn't try to sneak around, but Ross, for once, didn't wake up. He grabbed some more ice and went back into his room. He looked down at Monica. She was smiling in her sleep. How did I get so lucky? I couldn't have dreamed it better. Carefully getting back into bed, Chandler scooted next to Monica and placed the ice on her head. She shifted a little under the towel, but was soon fast asleep again. Chandler decided that he would tell her soon but trusted that the right moment would present itself. After all, wasn't that how their relationship had begun?