Thanks as usual to IrishBrigid for betaing this chapter for me. I blame Unknownnobody32 for most of the wording for Metatron's ads.
Warning: Slight spoiler for Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Thor's use of idioms.
Steve was sketching in the common room when Thor walked in. He thought Thor would just raid the fridge first and talk to him later so he just continued drawing.
To his surprise, Thor approached him and clasped his shoulder. "My friend, are you busy? Do you have the time for a conversation?"
He put down his sketchpad and pencil. "Sure, Thor. I'm not busy. What do you want to talk about?" He then noticed the StarkPad Thor was holding.
"You need to see this advertisement. It's amazing."
"I hope you didn't click on the banner ads flashing on the screen again. Remember what Tony told us. There are a lot of porn out there, or worse, concealed viruses and malware. "
"Don't be troubled. Tony also said that StarkPad uses its own operating system so it's hardly targeted by the hackers. I just want to show you a video."
He promptly clicked the replay button on a window.
The video showed a middle aged, bearded, pot-bellied man wearing a green shirt and a brown jumper sitting solemnly in a room that was pretty bare except for a typewriter in front of the man and bookshelf full of books titled Supernatural behind him. The man tapped on the screen and said, "Gadreel, is it on? Oh, it's on." He then put down his hand, smirked, and stared at the screen, "Hello there, fellow angels, feeling a little behind the times? Do references and jokes frequently go over your head? Maybe you need to brush up on a few decades of human events. Come visit me, Metatron, and with fifty bucks and a quick tap to the forehead, all this knowledge can be yours! Terms and conditions apply, please look at the fine print in my comment below."
"You can't believe this kind of thing. We need to catch up with these necessary references the old fashioned way. There is no way a tap to the forehead can solve it, it's obviously a scam."
"But, friend Rogers, look at the testimony below. These people leave their contact numbers. I have spoken to a few of them in different states and they say this guy is lawful."
Steve could only imagine how the conversation went. But people from different states couldn't be in cahoots, could they? Why would they lie? And it's only fifty bucks. Who would go for such a length to cheat only fifty bucks?
He looked at the website. It was called "stairwaytoheaven dot com."
"How did you get to this site?"
"I just Googled 'how to get the references' and this is one of the results that came up. The rest of the results are pretty inferior."
Steve wanted to ask what made him think this site was less "inferior" but he trusted Thor's judgment. He looked at the terms and conditions below the video.
"Cash and credit only, results guaranteed or money back. I will NOT be held responsible for any resulting migraines, nose bleeds, or seizures."
He didn't like the sound of that. "Thor, have you read the terms and conditions? It sounds pretty risky."
"Come on, Captain. We are superheroes. I believe we can handle slight migraines, nose bleeds and seizures."
"Did you hear him call people angels? Isn't that weird? Why not just called us 'you' or 'people'?"
"I think he meant it metaphorically as exemplary people. People who want to better themselves with modern knowledge are angels in the eyes of at least Man of Iron and Eye of Hawk."
"But it's not an essential skill so knowing that doesn't make someone an angel."
"Perhaps the speaker is a very polite person and would rather call everyone an angel?"
Well, Steve couldn't argue with that. He also liked being polite. He put up one last argument, "But he doesn't look very trustworthy. Did you see his smirk? I've fought Hydra and supervillains for a while, I notice a malicious smirk when I see one." He remembered Rumlow's smirk at the SHIELD elevator all too well.
"Friend Rogers, you're the last person I think will have a prejudice against a smirk. If he is a supervillain, what are the benefits of giving people modern knowledge? We can't judge a book by its jacket."
He wanted to correct Thor's idiom but then he realized book covers were often called jackets so there was no harm. He guessed that was why both Thor and he needed to know the references in the first place. He was still wary since something that was too good to be true usually was. "What if he brainwashes us with his finger tap? We wouldn't know about that."
"I'm ahead of you there. I've told Lady Natasha that if we start to behave strangely, she could give us cognitive recalibration. She said she would be happy to do that for us anytime even if we don't ask for it. You trust Lady Natasha, don't you?"
Steve smiled. Good old Natasha. Always so reliable. "I guess so. What's the address?"
Thor showed him the address. It was at a very small town around nine-hours-drive from The Avengers Tower.
"OK, we can go first thing tomorrow morning. Do you want me to drive? I'm sure I can borrow Tony's car."
"We can always fly there, Captain. It'll be faster and less aggravating."
He thought about his less-than-pleasant ride with Sam. "I think it's better that we take the car. I can show you some scenery around New York and the country."
Notes:
-What do you think?
-Do you think it's better to put this story at the crossover between Avengers and Supernatural or just Avengers? I think the role of Metatron won't be too big and it's OK if you don't watch Supernatural. I think I will just put it on the Avengers section and move it to the crossover section when they meet Metatron.
-Do you want to see the road trip? Or do you want just for them to arrive straight at Metatron's place?
- Any other suggestions are welcome.