~* Okay, I heard this song and loved it. Loved, loved, loved it. It's by Colin Hay, and if any of you watch Scrubs, it was the song that they all sang on the last episode with the dying patient? Okay, here it goes. This part only has half that song, the other part will be used in the next chapter. Please review and tell me if you like the story, or the song, or both. ~*

Disclaimer: Geez, you'd think you people would figure it out by now. Not mine. Not by a long shot.

Monica picked up the sunglasses and set them gingerly on the bridge of her nose. She shivered in the large apartment and pulled her sweater around her and rubbed her arms.

"I'm ready!" She heard a little voice call to her.

"Coming," she found herself replying. Sometimes she forgot that she could form coherent thoughts. It seemed that all she ever did was cry anymore. And yell, there was always yelling. Heidi, her three-year-old, came running into the room followed closely behind by the nanny.

"Mommy? Come on!" The little hand extended to her and Monica took it and tried to smile at her young daughter.

"Let's go!" Monica feigned enthusiasm. Heidi chattered all the way down to the car that was waiting about nothing and everything. Monica wished for the exuberance that three-year-olds have, and the notion that the world was fair and good and just.

"Can we stop at a toy store?" Heidi asked bouncing in her seat.

"We'll see," Monica told her and she leaned her hair against the cool leather of the seat and tried to remember a time when she was truly happy. Her head was pounding from the amount of alcohol she had consumed after he had left. The sunglasses conveniently hid the large bruise that had formed in the night hours. Heidi's nanny Mary, who now sat singing with Heidi, had been with them long enough to know to take Heidi out when they began to fight. Monica had never been a submissive person and so she fought back when he started. That's why she usually ended up with the bruises all over her body. He was usually careful about placing them where they would be covered, but last night she had pushed him too far and he had punched her in the face. Then he had stormed out of the apartment, probably to either go drink himself stupid, or to carry on one of his several affairs. When had her life gotten like this? How did this happen? She remembered looking at her beautiful little girl. She had gotten pregnant.

"Mommy?" Heidi asked. Monica's head snapped to attention.

"Yes?"

"I want to stop there," Heidi pointed to the fast food restaurant that they were passing.

"No sweetheart," Monica told her.

"Why not?"

"Because we're meeting Daddy for lunch."

"But I want to go there!"

"Heidi please." Monica begged rubbing her temples. "We already talked about this." He had suggested an outdoor restaurant. She knew why, because she could safely wear her sunglasses and it would look normal. Normal. What she wouldn't give for a normal life. He would probably place her in the sun to ensure that she wouldn't be taking off her sunglasses. She sighed and watched the people on the street pass by and tried to dream of another life.

Any minute now

my ship is coming in

I'll keep checking the horizon

I'll stand on the bow

feel the waves come crashing down

Come crashing down, down, down on me

He loved showing her off. Well, both her and Heidi. And the people he was trying to impress usually were. How beautiful your wife is! Your daughter is so well-behaved! And adorable too. She looks just like your wife, with those bright blue eyes and smile. It wasn't that he didn't love Monica. He just got angry with her sometimes. She didn't listen. She never listened. The car pulled up in front of the office and he strode to it. Heidi bounced out and into his arms.

"Daddy? Can we stop at a toy store? Please?"

"If you're absolutely perfect this afternoon," he told her. Monica cringed at the word. Perfect. Everyone thought her life was perfect. She had a beautiful daughter, and loving husband, and things were just so God-damned perfect. What was she teaching Heidi? That she had to be perfect or else her daddy wouldn't love her? She had vowed that her own daughter would never wonder if her parents loved her. At least Heidi knew that Monica loved her. That she would die for her, and that some nights she feared that she would. He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek pausing long enough so that he could hiss into her ear.

"Remember to leave the sunglasses on," he reminded her. She nodded to show that she knew, and they all climbed into the cool, air-conditioned car. Even in the darkness, she left the sunglasses on. They pulled up to the restaurant and the three of them climbed out.

"We'll be done in about an hour," Monica told Mary. "Go get something to eat or something." Mary nodded and the car slid away. Monica shivered despite the oppressive heat as he slid his arm around her waist to prove ownership and they began to walk towards the restaurant with Heidi's hand safely tucked in her own. Heidi was on her best behavior as they were seated. Monica had been right, they were sitting in the sunniest area of the restaurant. Monica pulled out little sunglasses for Heidi and they ordered and talked normally. Heidi made a slight face at her meal, and Monica honestly couldn't blame her. Her headache was still pounding at her temples as she reached into her purse for some sort of Advil or Tylenol. He couldn't see her do it. She would get yelled at about keeping up appearances.

"We don't want people thinking that my wife is a pill fiend, right?" She had tried to argue with him that plenty of people took Advil. In fact, she had said, Americans use about 2 tons of Advil a day.

"I don't care!" He had yelled. He was always yelling, there was always yelling. She was waiting for things to get better, she was waiting for her real life to begin. It had to soon. She didn't know how much more she could take before she snapped.

And you say, be still my love

Open up your heart

Let the light shine in

But don't you understand?

I already have a plan

I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Monica woke up the next morning to find the bed empty. There had been no fight the night before, because she had been on her best behavior and so had Heidi, who had gotten her toy on the way home. She checked the clock on the nightstand. It was nine. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up on shaking legs and walked to a mirror. The bruising had gone down immensely. A little makeup and you might not even be able to notice. She got into the shower and glanced down at her body. Two bruises on the insides of her thighs and one on her stomach. That wasn't that bad. She could wear a sleeveless dress and they would all be covered.

"Mommy? Are you in the shower?" Heidi's voice called out.

"Yes, baby, I'm in the shower."

"Mary's taking me to the park, kay?"

"Okay." Monica heard the door shut and leaned her head back against the shower door and let the tears roll down her face. She tried so hard not to cry in front of Heidi. She tried so hard to be strong for both their sakes. It was so hard. The phone rang as soon as she was out and had slipped into the blue dress. She quickly grabbed it.

"Hello?"

"Mon?"

"Hi Rachel," she said smiling. It had been so long since she had heard from her best friend, any of her friends for that matter. It seemed like she was a whole other person before, before when she would get coffee once a day and just sit and talk with them.

"What are you doing today?"

"Um, nothing, why?"

"You, me, lunch? What do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea," she told her. "About an hour?"

"Great," Rachel said and Monica hung the phone up and went to dry her hair. She then twisted it up into a twist and noticed the final bruise under her arm from when he had grabbed her the other day. She flirted with putting on a new dress, but she figured if she kept her arm down then Rachel wouldn't notice. She finished getting ready and then left a note for Mary and Heidi and left the apartment. She met Rachel in the restaurant and gave her a hug.

"I've missed you," Monica said sincerely.

"You too," Rachel agreed. "We never get to talk anymore. How are you?"

"I'm okay." Monica carefully took off her sunglasses and prayed it wasn't noticeable. Rachel noticed right away, but didn't say anything. It was only when Monica lifted her arm to get the waiter's attention that Rachel knew something was wrong.

"Mon?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you have bruises all over you?" The truth was that all the friends had been noticing it, but didn't say anything.

"I'm clumsy Rach, you know that. I just tripped this morning."

"You were never this clumsy before."

"I have Heidi now, when we play sometimes I trip and fall. It's no big deal."

"Your eye is black and blue."

"I ran into the door, okay? Leave it alone."

"I can't Monica."

"Please? Just drop it." Rachel got quiet for a moment contemplating.

"I think you need to leave him."

"You don't understand!" Monica's voice began to rise. "You could never understand. I can't leave. I can't leave him. I can't do that." She grabbed her purse and sunglasses and dropped a twenty on the table for the drinks and stormed out without waiting for her change. Rachel sat stunned but determined. They needed to do something. And it needed to be done now, before Monica got seriously injured.

When I awoke today,

suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams,

I slew the dragon

~*Okay, so this was just the first part. Please review and I'll post the second part with the rest of the song. But only if you review!~*