~I am weary and tired, almost to the extent that I must strain to write this last message to you. The idea of death frightens us all, as it seems we are born only to one day die, another insignificant life that is cut from the reality you and I know. I feared death not only for its pain and the unknown that would indefinitely follow, but rather because I feared my time would come before I finished what I'd set out in life to do.
As we go through life, we experience new situations, new people, and strengthen bonds with those that do know, ones that we love. And as these occurrings happened, my opinion changed and use found myself frightened not of death itself or the goals I hadn't accomplished. No, it was more a fear of leaving behind what I had accomplished, the people I've come to cherish and hold so dear to my heart. It was a thought I often could not bear, a thought that pained me each time I looked at you. I always thought you would outlast me, the strength of your convictions and beliefs keeping your ultimate departure at bay.
Now as I reflect back, perhaps it was those beliefs, those years of chasing the truth, was what would catch up to you. Perhaps you were just so at peace, so content with what we had earned, with the life we had almost lost in the midst of darkness and grief, that you just slipped away. Or maybe you were just as enervated as I am now.
And now my mind is in turmoil, torn between the thin line of life and death. While I struggle to hold on to the rope-turned-thread that binds me to my existence alone, I also eagerly await the day I am filled with the courage to let go and complete the journey you have already finished without me. ~
The Truth is Out There