The One with the Diary
"Hey guys, what's up?" Ross said to Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Rachel as he entered Central Perk.
"Hey Ross," Joey said, "How was your date last night? With..uh..what was her name again?"
"Gloria." Ross answered, "And it was great until...eh nevermind."
"Oh come on Ross." Monica coaxed.
"Yeah Ross," Rachel said, "What is it?"
"You didn't show her your fosil slides did you?!" Chandler said alittle panicy like.
After Ross threw him a angered and insulted glare Chandler said, "Because if you didn't then that's just a crime!"
"Right," Ross said sacasticly, "No, that's not what happened."
"Then what happened?" Monica asked.
After a mintute Joey said, trying to be sly, "Ah, I see, failure to bring the ship to port huh?"
"No!" Ross said quickly, "My ship is doing a fine job thank you very much!" He said louder.
"Oh," Rachel said, more in a teasing voice, "Having trouble with the capiton then are we?"
"No!" Ross said again, "Nothing like that. I went into the kitchen to get us some drinks and then I heard a scream, then she ran out the door before I got a chance to ask her what happened."
After a few awkward moments of silence Joey said, sort of taken aback, "That's never good."
"Nope." Chandler said under his breath as he nodded his head.
Just then Phoebe walked in and said, "Hey guys, what's going on?"
"Ross scared away his date last night." Rachel said simply.
Ross was about to protest but then Phoebe put her hand on Ross's shoulder and said, "Ross, honey, how many times do I have to tell you never to show women your fosil slides."
Ross just gave a discouraged look.
After Ross gave Phoebe the story she said, "You know, my friend when I was 19 had the same problem."
"Oh really?" Ross asked, interested, "And what did he do?"
"Oh," Phoebe answered, "He's not a he now." Ross tilted his head in alittle confusion and then Phoebe whispered, "He had alittle operation after that."
Then Ross quickly straighted up and froze his head in terror.
"Ross," Joey said finally, "If you're so worried why don't I go over and see if there is anything that might freak them out."
"I don't know Joey,"Ross said, "How would you know?"
Joey tilted his head and said, "Well either I come over and take a look, or we can go with what Phoebe's friend the Mista Sista did."
Then Ross got up suddenly and said, "Okay Joey let's go."
**At Ross's**
"Well Joey," Ross asked, "What do you think?"
Joey carefully looked around Ross's apartment and looking in an un-folded basket of pink lundery he said, "For starters I'd lose the pink cloths man."
Ross rolled his eyes and took the pink sock from Joey's hand saying, "I aciddently put my red socks in with the whites. Besides, that wasn't there last night."
Then suddenly, Joey threw his hand on Rosses chest singaling not to walk any farther. Then he said, "Dude, I think I found your problem."
"What is it?" Ross asked, looking aimlessly at the ceiling and walls.
Then Joey just pointed to the floor at a big, hairy, brown Cockroch.
"AH!" Ross screamed like a girl.
After Joey threw him a looked Ross said, "Ah." And did a fake scream in a deep voice.
"I'll go call the bug people, you watch that roch." Joey instructed, going into Ross's bedroom for the phonebook.
When Joey opened the drawer by Ross's bed and reached for the yellow pages, he noticed a note book with a brown cover. Joey tilted his head in wonder as he sat the yellow pages on the bed and took out the other book.
He opened it up to find the words "Ross's Writings" on the front page, and inside a day-to-day summary of what he had been doing.
Then Joey grinned and nodded his head as he said to himself, "Hahaha, Ross's diary!"
"Joey!" Ross yelled from the living room, "You call the yet?"
Joey panicked and then shoved the diary in his back pocket, covering that with his shirt. "Yeah, hang on."
Joey dialed the numbers.
**Later**
Everyone except Ross was piled on the couch at Monica and Chandler's apartment, Monica was in the middle of them all, reading aloud...
"I can't believe I said Rachel's name at the alter! How could I of been so stupid? Then a part of me wonders if it was so stupid," Monica puased and looked at Rachel, "I don't think that mine and Emily's marriage will last long at all, but I might as well try. Anyway, as long as I am never divorced three times. Now that would be really embaressing!! HaHa, but that'll never happen. I am smarter than that."
Just then a voice from behide them said, "What are you guys reading?!" As he shut the door.
"Oh, hi Ross." Joey said.
"What were you guys reading?" Ross asked again, trying to get a look at the book.
Just then Chandler said through almost dangerously hard laugh, "You have a diary?!!?!!"
Then I look of horror spread across his face as he yelled, "It's a journal!!"
Everyone else was laughing when Ross demanded, "Now come on! Give it back!"
Ross was chasing Monica around the apartment trying to get it until Monica threw it to Rachel and then Rachel was playing with it as she said to a tense Ross, "Oh come on Ross, what don't you want us to read? It's just your diary!"
"It's a journal!" Ross yelled again, "And I don't want you reading all my thoughts about everything about my son and about you!"
"Aw, come on Ross!" Phoebe said, catching the book that Rachel threw to her.
"Come you guys, give it back." Ross demanded again.
Then Phoebe threw it to Joey who said, "Come on, we already know all your secrets."
"Give it back!" Ross yelled again.
Joey threw it back to Rachel and Chandler said, "You all always thought I was the girly one but Ross is the one with the diary."
Ross turned around to face Chandler and said loudly, "It's a journal!!"
Chandler mockingly threw his hands up and said, "Yeah whatever Anne Frank."
Just then Rachel stood next to the window and said, "Let's read his lastest entry, shall we?"
"No Rach don't!!" Ross exclaimed, failing to dive for the book in her hand once again.
"Today I found out that I am in love..." Rachel read.
There was a chorous of "aw"'s through the friends and Monica asked, "With who with who?!"
"I don't know," Rachel said, "I just have to turn the page..."
"No!" Ross said, diving at Rachel and grabbing the book from her hand sucessfully.
He landed on the floor with a crash, on top of the book he held in his hand.
There were a few moments where a puzzled silence was in the air and none of them moved.
Then Chandler says passively, "At least it's better than his slides."
Then Ross got up and said, "Okay you guys, I am going to go and hide this in a very safe place, and you'll never see it again!"
He walked out the door just as Joey said, "I'll be he's gonna put it next to some lip gloss and pink nailpolish."
"I heard that!" Ross yelled from the hallway.
Later Monica and Chandler were at Central Perk when Rachel came in and said to Monica, "Monica the suspence is killing me, I borrow Ross's apartment key?"
Monica looked at Chandler and said, "Sure but you have to promise you won't tell Ross."
Rachel nodded and took the key from Monica's hand. Rachel was just about to walk out when Monica said, "And don't forget to tell me who he loves!"
Rachel nodded and went to Ross's.
Rachel knew that Ross had a class so she went into his house freely and went in search of the diary.
She could hear Ross yell, "It's a Journal!" In the back of her mind.
She looked for about 15 mintutes before she found it. She quickly turned to the page she left off on and saw her name, written neatly across the page had almost read hours ago.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Ross said to Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Rachel as he entered Central Perk.
"Hey Ross," Joey said, "How was your date last night? With..uh..what was her name again?"
"Gloria." Ross answered, "And it was great until...eh nevermind."
"Oh come on Ross." Monica coaxed.
"Yeah Ross," Rachel said, "What is it?"
"You didn't show her your fosil slides did you?!" Chandler said alittle panicy like.
After Ross threw him a angered and insulted glare Chandler said, "Because if you didn't then that's just a crime!"
"Right," Ross said sacasticly, "No, that's not what happened."
"Then what happened?" Monica asked.
After a mintute Joey said, trying to be sly, "Ah, I see, failure to bring the ship to port huh?"
"No!" Ross said quickly, "My ship is doing a fine job thank you very much!" He said louder.
"Oh," Rachel said, more in a teasing voice, "Having trouble with the capiton then are we?"
"No!" Ross said again, "Nothing like that. I went into the kitchen to get us some drinks and then I heard a scream, then she ran out the door before I got a chance to ask her what happened."
After a few awkward moments of silence Joey said, sort of taken aback, "That's never good."
"Nope." Chandler said under his breath as he nodded his head.
Just then Phoebe walked in and said, "Hey guys, what's going on?"
"Ross scared away his date last night." Rachel said simply.
Ross was about to protest but then Phoebe put her hand on Ross's shoulder and said, "Ross, honey, how many times do I have to tell you never to show women your fosil slides."
Ross just gave a discouraged look.
After Ross gave Phoebe the story she said, "You know, my friend when I was 19 had the same problem."
"Oh really?" Ross asked, interested, "And what did he do?"
"Oh," Phoebe answered, "He's not a he now." Ross tilted his head in alittle confusion and then Phoebe whispered, "He had alittle operation after that."
Then Ross quickly straighted up and froze his head in terror.
"Ross," Joey said finally, "If you're so worried why don't I go over and see if there is anything that might freak them out."
"I don't know Joey,"Ross said, "How would you know?"
Joey tilted his head and said, "Well either I come over and take a look, or we can go with what Phoebe's friend the Mista Sista did."
Then Ross got up suddenly and said, "Okay Joey let's go."
**At Ross's**
"Well Joey," Ross asked, "What do you think?"
Joey carefully looked around Ross's apartment and looking in an un-folded basket of pink lundery he said, "For starters I'd lose the pink cloths man."
Ross rolled his eyes and took the pink sock from Joey's hand saying, "I aciddently put my red socks in with the whites. Besides, that wasn't there last night."
Then suddenly, Joey threw his hand on Rosses chest singaling not to walk any farther. Then he said, "Dude, I think I found your problem."
"What is it?" Ross asked, looking aimlessly at the ceiling and walls.
Then Joey just pointed to the floor at a big, hairy, brown Cockroch.
"AH!" Ross screamed like a girl.
After Joey threw him a looked Ross said, "Ah." And did a fake scream in a deep voice.
"I'll go call the bug people, you watch that roch." Joey instructed, going into Ross's bedroom for the phonebook.
When Joey opened the drawer by Ross's bed and reached for the yellow pages, he noticed a note book with a brown cover. Joey tilted his head in wonder as he sat the yellow pages on the bed and took out the other book.
He opened it up to find the words "Ross's Writings" on the front page, and inside a day-to-day summary of what he had been doing.
Then Joey grinned and nodded his head as he said to himself, "Hahaha, Ross's diary!"
"Joey!" Ross yelled from the living room, "You call the yet?"
Joey panicked and then shoved the diary in his back pocket, covering that with his shirt. "Yeah, hang on."
Joey dialed the numbers.
**Later**
Everyone except Ross was piled on the couch at Monica and Chandler's apartment, Monica was in the middle of them all, reading aloud...
"I can't believe I said Rachel's name at the alter! How could I of been so stupid? Then a part of me wonders if it was so stupid," Monica puased and looked at Rachel, "I don't think that mine and Emily's marriage will last long at all, but I might as well try. Anyway, as long as I am never divorced three times. Now that would be really embaressing!! HaHa, but that'll never happen. I am smarter than that."
Just then a voice from behide them said, "What are you guys reading?!" As he shut the door.
"Oh, hi Ross." Joey said.
"What were you guys reading?" Ross asked again, trying to get a look at the book.
Just then Chandler said through almost dangerously hard laugh, "You have a diary?!!?!!"
Then I look of horror spread across his face as he yelled, "It's a journal!!"
Everyone else was laughing when Ross demanded, "Now come on! Give it back!"
Ross was chasing Monica around the apartment trying to get it until Monica threw it to Rachel and then Rachel was playing with it as she said to a tense Ross, "Oh come on Ross, what don't you want us to read? It's just your diary!"
"It's a journal!" Ross yelled again, "And I don't want you reading all my thoughts about everything about my son and about you!"
"Aw, come on Ross!" Phoebe said, catching the book that Rachel threw to her.
"Come you guys, give it back." Ross demanded again.
Then Phoebe threw it to Joey who said, "Come on, we already know all your secrets."
"Give it back!" Ross yelled again.
Joey threw it back to Rachel and Chandler said, "You all always thought I was the girly one but Ross is the one with the diary."
Ross turned around to face Chandler and said loudly, "It's a journal!!"
Chandler mockingly threw his hands up and said, "Yeah whatever Anne Frank."
Just then Rachel stood next to the window and said, "Let's read his lastest entry, shall we?"
"No Rach don't!!" Ross exclaimed, failing to dive for the book in her hand once again.
"Today I found out that I am in love..." Rachel read.
There was a chorous of "aw"'s through the friends and Monica asked, "With who with who?!"
"I don't know," Rachel said, "I just have to turn the page..."
"No!" Ross said, diving at Rachel and grabbing the book from her hand sucessfully.
He landed on the floor with a crash, on top of the book he held in his hand.
There were a few moments where a puzzled silence was in the air and none of them moved.
Then Chandler says passively, "At least it's better than his slides."
Then Ross got up and said, "Okay you guys, I am going to go and hide this in a very safe place, and you'll never see it again!"
He walked out the door just as Joey said, "I'll be he's gonna put it next to some lip gloss and pink nailpolish."
"I heard that!" Ross yelled from the hallway.
Later Monica and Chandler were at Central Perk when Rachel came in and said to Monica, "Monica the suspence is killing me, I borrow Ross's apartment key?"
Monica looked at Chandler and said, "Sure but you have to promise you won't tell Ross."
Rachel nodded and took the key from Monica's hand. Rachel was just about to walk out when Monica said, "And don't forget to tell me who he loves!"
Rachel nodded and went to Ross's.
Rachel knew that Ross had a class so she went into his house freely and went in search of the diary.
She could hear Ross yell, "It's a Journal!" In the back of her mind.
She looked for about 15 mintutes before she found it. She quickly turned to the page she left off on and saw her name, written neatly across the page had almost read hours ago.