Casualties of War
13 February 2008 – the day before Owen's last birthday
It was a kind act on Ianto's part. And he did it for all of them, religiously, every year. At each birthday, he carefully placed a card on the birthday child's desk, and scattered a few party streamers and balloons around. One year for Gwen, he used the contents of Jack's hole punch, which he'd been meaning to empty for weeks, strewing the little circular pieces of multi-coloured paper about like wedding confetti. He never told anyone that he'd spent an extra half an hour punching holes in piles of perfectly good leaflets from the tourist office to add to the bulk and the colour. Jack had spotted him on the CCTV camera and smiled indulgently but said nothing. And when he finished decorating a desk, Ianto opened up the bag of sweets that he'd selected for the occasion, arranging them invitingly on the surface.
For Owen's birthday, he'd selected Jelly Babies.
Jack liked Licorice Allsorts, though the way in which he ate them - by peeling the layers apart - made Ianto sigh in disbelief. And what he did with the coconut ones was just plain disgusting. Gwen was definitely a Haribo Gummi Bear kind of a gal, and Tosh was anyone's for a box of Cadbury's chocolate kittens.
But this year, something about Owen definitely said 'Jelly Babies' to Ianto; though clearly he couldn't have any of the black ones. They'd all simultaneously discovered his blackcurrant allergy one afternoon. Owen, in need of a sugar rush, had stolen a carton of Gwen's Ribena from the fridge. The result had been unexpected, spectacular, colourful, all encompassing and very, very memorable. Blackcurrant was no longer permitted in the Hub after that, just to be on the safe side.
Before he went home, Ianto lined up three ranks of Jelly Babies on Owen's desk, yellow at the front, green in the middle and orange at the back. It took him quite a while to get them all to stand up like the Chinese terracotta warriors, not least because, like dominoes, if one tumbled it took out the rest of the ranks with it. But he finally achieved it and was able to stand back and admire his handiwork. Taking great care not to jog the table, he put on his coat, called out a cheery "Goodnight" to Jack and left the Hub, heading home for a warm bath and an early night.
14 February 2008 – Owen's birthday
Refreshed by his relaxing evening, the next morning saw Ianto beating everyone else into the office. He put the coffee on and listened with relish to the sounds of the Hub waking up. He went from desk to desk, switching on the computers he'd diligently powered down the night before, straightening up papers that were already straight.
He got to Owen's desk and looked in horror at the carnage that greeted him.
"Jack!" he shouted, sharply. There was no answer. This was unusual, because Jack typically bounced out to greet Ianto as soon as he entered through the cog door. But given the sight that had met him, Ianto wasn't surprised that Jack was lying low. Very low indeed.
"JACK!" he yelled, insistently. "Get your sorry arse down here, now! Otherwise it will be even worse for you than it already is. And believe me, it's already pretty bad."
The sounds of his captain reached Ianto's ears as Jack slowly climbed down the stairs from his office. Jack arrived reluctantly to stand in front of him, his head hanging in shame and his eyes scrunched up in anticipation of the tirade that was about to come.
"What the hell happened here?" demanded Ianto, his voice very angry but just hanging on to a measure of control. He gestured to Owen's desk, although it was actually very clear what had happened. The Jelly Baby soldiers were fallen, tumbled higgledy-piggledy about the desk, breaking the ranks of the military precision into which they'd been so caringly arranged the previous night. Yellow mixed with green, and all intermingled with orange. They were no longer proud warriors waiting to welcome Owen's birthday.
Jack looked shamefaced. "I was hungry. There was an accident." he admitted, glumly.
"I can see that!" Ianto was absolutely furious. "What a great birthday surprise!" His voice dripped sarcasm. "Owen's desk looks like a scene from Apocalypse Now! Thank God that jelly babies don't bleed. Really Jack, did you have to bite the heads and feet off every single one?"
The End
It's funny how a country's sweets (candies) are utterly defining yet often unknown in other countries. Luckily, Wikipedia can service the out-of-towners.