AN: Yep, you know it, this is another H&A slash pairing. This time it's Andy and Oscar and was prompted by the episodes that aired in Australia in June 2014. Give it a chance, it's not as creepy as it sounds, I hope...
It was their eighteenth birthday today, and Oscar knew exactly what he wanted. He'd been waiting for this day for a long time.
"Earth to Oscar," Zac said, pulling Oscar from his thoughts to realise he'd zoned out half way through helping his uncle set up the tables.
"Sorry," Oscar said, locking the legs of the fold-up table in place. He helped Zac position it, and the next few until they were all in place.
"I'll let the girls know we're done. See what else they need us to do," Zac announced and then he headed for the house leaving Oscar alone. It was nice to have a moment to himself before the guests arrived. Today was a special day, the beginning of the rest of his life. A life he might never have known without some good advice. Admittedly, it took a while for the message to sink in, but Andy had been there to help him.
xxx
He was upset; no one really got it, no one really cared. He wanted to be alone but Andy hadn't allowed that. He'd followed Oscar to the beach.
"Mate I shoulda put my brain into gear before I opened my mouth. It's a bit of a habit. So, you ok?"
"Ok? I nearly killed someone."
"Eh?"
"I just ran her over like a dog. And they just let me off with a slap on the wrist."
"I've done tonnes of stuff I'm not proud of but you can't get stuck on it, you just take it as a blessing, y'know learn ya lesson and move on."
"It's not that easy."
"Yeah, it is. You've got a good life, you've got people that care about you, the whole world at your feet Oscar, you're blind if you can't see that."
xxx
"You should go put your costume on Oscar," Hannah prompted, "people will be here soon."
"I'll help you," Evie offered.
"Ok, thanks." He'd need her help. Not so much with the costume, but maybe with the nerves. Things were, just a little bit, threatening to overwhelm.
xxx
The tiniest thing and it all came crashing down. He didn't want to feel like this. In his rational moments Andy's words rang true, he had stopped blaming himself, he was doing his best to get on with living the kind of life he could be proud of. But from the depths it hit him, like running into a freight train, and it knocked the wind from his lungs, left no room for anything but panicked fragments of thought. He couldn't do this, couldn't go on, someone as worthless as him didn't deserve the chance of normalcy. He needed to be punished, needed to pay for the misery he'd caused. A black mark like the one on his soul couldn't be wiped clean with a few hours of community service. But part of him was fighting back. The part that loved his family and friends and didn't want to cause them any more heartache. He could beat this, he could do this for them, and maybe one day, for himself too.
"Andy? Where's Andy?" He was vaguely aware of the people in the gym. He didn't know who they were and didn't care. What they thought didn't matter, finding Andy was all that counted, he was the only one who could help.
"Oscar? Mate, what's wrong?" Andy's arms were around him, helping him to his feet, to walk, then into a chair. Between his ragged breaths he heard the door click shut, the blinds being closed. Andy's face came into view.
"C'mon mate, you have to talk to me."
"I can't...it's too much..." Oscar choked out, completely overwhelmed by this latest wave of guilt.
"Just stop and breathe," Andy said, placing his hands on Oscar's shoulders and giving him a gentle shake, it helped Oscar focus. Oscar looked into those deep, dark pools, watching him intently, waiting for him to comply. He could do this. He didn't want to let Andy down. Oscar took a deep breath and let it out, and then another. "That's it, just breathe, that's all you need to do. I'll take care of the rest." Oscar believed him.
xxx
Evie fussed over him, insistent on getting all the details right, which was weird because the costumes had been his idea. Evie didn't care about the details of who they were, she was just happy she got to dress like a goddess. She'd spent an hour getting her makeup just right, wanting to impress Josh. They'd been together for over a year now, Oscar was willing to bet he was already impressed.
"All done Apollo," she declared, fixing his gold laurel wreath in place. His hand wandered up to adjust it, she gave him a discerning look, she knew what he was nervous about. "Leave it alone, its fine," she said, taking his hands in hers and giving them a squeeze, "and you're fine too. It'll work out, you'll see. You two act like a couple half the time already, this is just making it official."
"You really believe that?"
"I do, we practically double date as it is. And if he doesn't feel the same way he's an idiot. You're an amazing person Oscar, anyone would be lucky to have you."
"Thanks Artemis. You're not so bad yourself." She grinned at that and he pulled her into a hug, it was good to have her to share his secrets with.
xxx
"Check this out," Oscar said, tossing his brand new Learner's permit to Evie.
"When did you..." Understandably she was a little surprised by this, he'd been reluctant to get his licence for a while now.
"This afternoon. Andy drove me into Yabbie Creek. He said some stuff that made it ok, y'know? And then after, once I'd got it, he let me drive home. He's a really good teacher actually." Andy had taken all the stress out of it, put things in perspective. What he'd taught Oscar wasn't so much about driving as it was about facing your fears and having the freedom to live without those fears. With Andy around, Oscar felt braver. He realised then that there was something about the look Evie was giving him, she saw something he didn't, something that was making her smile.
"You've got it bad Oscar."
"Got what?" he questioned, at a loss as to what she could be talking about.
"You like Andy."
"Yeah?" That was obvious, wasn't it? They spent time together, Andy had helped him a lot, they got on well. There was no reason Oscar wouldn't like him.
"I mean you like like him."
"I do?" Did he? He did enjoy being around Andy, and he did think about him a lot when they weren't together. He felt better when they were together, freer, more comfortable, like he was where he was supposed to be. "I do. Oh my God, I do! What am I gonna do Evie? This could ruin everything, he won't feel the same, I can't lose him."
"Calm down for one thing," she said steadily, taking his hands in hers. "Just act like you always have. Nothing's changed. You liked him before and you still like him now, it's just that you know it. And give him some credit, he's been through a lot with you, you think he's gonna ditch you over this?"
"You're right, you're right, nothing has to change."
"No, not unless you want it to..." she said suggestively.
"Evie! Don't be ridiculous. He'd never see me like that. He thinks of me as a kid. We're just friends. Just...no."
"How do you know what he thinks? He might be madly in love with you too. You won't know if you don't ask."
"I couldn't, not yet, it'd be too weird, wouldn't it?"
"So wait a little while, figure out how you feel, what you want from him, and tell him when you're ready."
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I could do that." Was it crazy to think that this might actually work out?
xxx
"C'mon Oscar," Evie said, grabbing his hand and pulling him after her, "we have to get photos with everyone, I want to remember this. Isn't it great everyone put in the effort to get dressed up? They all look so good."
"They do." Oscar was excited about the costumes too, it's just that he was a little preoccupied, Andy and Josh weren't here yet. It was ok though, if Evie could get past the fact that her boyfriend hadn't arrived yet, Oscar could wait patiently for his kinda-maybe-almost-one-day 'boyfriend'.
"Kyle! Phoebe!" Evie called, beckoning them over for a photo. Their costumes were pretty simple but they rocked them. All Kyle had had to do was don a pea coat and he was instantly recognisable, and Phoebe made a pretty good Bella too.
xxx
"Monster movie."
"Rom-com."
"Monster movie!"
"Rom-com!"
"They're boring Evie, they all end the same."
"They're fun and light, not like those horrible things you like. I don't wanna get depression, I just wanna watch a movie."
"How 'bout a monster romance?" Josh chimed in, waving a certain DVD at them.
"No!" Oscar and Evie shouted in unison, at least they agreed on something.
"Who cares?!" Andy said, grabbing the closest DVD and shoving it at Oscar, "it's just an excuse to sit around and eat popcorn." Oscar glanced down at the cover, the original Island of Dr. Moreau, and then put the disc in the player. He settled himself on the lounge, squished between Evie and Andy, the four of them sharing a three seater.
"Thanks," Oscar whispered, Andy just shrugged and put another piece of popcorn in his mouth. But Oscar knew he'd chosen the movie on purpose, and for the first ten minutes of it he found it impossible to focus on the screen.
xxx
"You're such a dork." That was Andy; the voice, the words, the laugh. He'd snuck up on Oscar, something Oscar would've thought impossible tonight but the crowd and the noise of the party had him a little overwhelmed. The sound of Andy's good-humoured teasing, calmed his nerves and warmed his heart. He turned, speaking before he really took the time to look.
"At least I put some effort in, you're not-" But he was. Andy had insisted for weeks now that costume parties were lame, but it had been a smokescreen. He had dressed up and he looked good. More than good, great, amazing, beautiful even. Not that it was the first word that came to mind when you thought of who he was dressed as, but wow, just wow...
"Cat gotcha tongue?" Andy teased, obviously pleased with Oscar's reaction. Oscar couldn't find it within himself to mind.
"You look amazing, Frankenstein's monster right?" The large stitches across his forehead and down one cheek, a fairly sure indication. But Andy hadn't opted for the traditional green skin, his look was more understated, and so much better. Even though he had that lovely olive skin, he'd managed to give his face a deathly pallor, and around his eyes was darker, rimmed with liner and shadow, making him look hauntingly beautiful. He'd even put on lipstick, a mid shade of grey with a captivating cyanotic tinge. His costume itself consisted of black books, black pants and a long black military coat, super stylish and worth the obvious effort he'd gone to. He looked breathtaking and Oscar was left wondering which of them was supposed to be the god.
"So Josh tells me. Turns out Frankenstein's actually the doctor dude, not the stitched up dead guy. That's who he's dressed as by the way," Andy indicated towards his brother. Josh was sporting a lab coat over matching grey slacks and vest, and black, thick-framed glasses which actually looked pretty stylish on him, but the observation was fleeting, Andy's dazzling look was front and centre in his mind.
"Did you do your own makeup?" It took everything in him not to reach out and touch Andy's face.
"Josh did it. Like I'd have a clue how to put makeup on."
"Do you like it?" Oscar asked distractedly, still drinking in the striking details.
"I thought you'd like it."
"I do, I like it very much."
"Good. And you're Apollo right?"
"Yes. I'm impressed, I didn't think you'd get it." Oscar cringed internally when he realised how that sounded, "I mean not just you, but anyone..."
"Well Evie mighta spilled the beans. Still, the Sun God, it suits you."
"Because it's dorky?"
"Because you shine."
"Oh." Oscar felt heat creep into his cheeks at Andy's uncharacteristic complement. Tonight did feel different, like now really was the perfect time to take this chance. And for the first time he found himself wondering if Andy knew how he felt, and if he felt the same. "I want to show you something, come for a walk?"
xxx
"I'm sorry about you and Aunt Hannah, I hope it wasn't because of me."
"Na, 'course not." Oscar didn't believe that and he gave Andy a look that told him so.
"Maybe a little, but it's not the end of the world. Some relationships work and some don't. Not all of them have to involve the love of your life. We had fun together and now it's over, that's all there is to it."
"But some do though..."
"Some do what?"
"Involve the love of your life, relationships I mean."
"Well ya hope that one day one will, yeah."
"Yours never have?"
"I am not having this conversation with you. You're a kid Oscar, this stuff is way too heavy for you to be worrying about. Go do some homework or something."
"Yeah, I guess," Oscar agreed, dropping the conversation but not the thought. Always it remained with him.
xxx
They reached the top of the rise and were met by the best view from the farm. From here, you could see the ocean, and with the sun setting slowly behind them it was magic. Oscar loved coming out here, it was one of those places that made you feel more alive. Usually he came out here alone, but he didn't want to be alone anymore.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Oscar watched Andy take in the view and cherished that he could share his with him. Somewhere along the line their relationship had changed, it went from Oscar needing Andy to Oscar wanting him. From relying on him to get through his panic attacks to just hanging out because it was fun. Many of the old feelings were still there, Oscar liked that Andy took care of him, but it was more now, actually, it was everything. Andy turned to him in the fading light.
"It kinda makes you feel calmer, like all the little things don't really matter."
"I know what you mean. Like if all you had in your life was one beautiful thing, that'd be enough."
To be continued…