So my friend wrote this! She's actually a very good writer. Her work isn't usually meant for comedy haha. I'm trying to get her to make a fan fiction account. Please review and help me out!
For Katie,
(For the rest of the fandom, good luck on your hiatus. Y'all might want to listen to Cowboy Casanova before reading this)
Barba reshuffled his papers. He was tempted to glance behind him to see if the blond-haired detective was in the courtroom, but he somehow already knew that Amanda Rollins was indeed present and listening. He cleared his throat. "Were you ever sexually involved with her?"
Lena's lawyer stood. "Objection, relevance?"
"I'll allow it. Answer, Mr. Davis." The judge looked down her nose as Davis shifted in his seat.
"Yes, I was," said Davis. So Amaro was right. Amanda is notgoing to like this.
Barba plowed forward, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Until how recently?" He could feel a storm brewing behind him: Hurricane Rollins.
"I'm…not sure." Davis was looking desperately around the courtroom now. His brown eyes darted back and forth from Lena to Amanda. Barba almost felt a bit sorry for him. Almost.
"Your best guess, Mr. Davis?" Come on, just say it. A year, a couple months before—
"A week ago?"
The courtroom felt positively electric now, but no one was muttering like usual. Perhaps they sensed the hurricane among them. Barba figured Amanda was either glaring them down, glaring him down, or glaring Davis down. Or all three at once; that woman had talent.
"Ooookay." Whoops, thought Barba, that wasn't very professional, but it's hard to stay calm when it feels like you're about to get struck by lightning. "Are you currently sponsoring Detective Rollins?" Barba braced himself.
"Yes," said Davis.
"And also sexually involved with her?" Barba already knew the answer to that, but before Davis could confirm it for the court, there was a commotion behind them.
Barba spun around to find Detective Amanda Rollins standing up on her chair. What. The. Hell. Needless to say, he had not been expecting this turn of events. Neither, it seemed, had the court officers. The judge simply stared, her gavel forgotten on the table.
Amanda was now poking around on her iPhone. It seemed she found what she was looking for, as she adjusted the volume and held her phone aloft.What the ever-living hell is—
Country music boomed out of the phone, louder than should have been possible. The judge fell out of her chair and the rest of the court jumped in their seats. Amanda's eyes met Davis's, and the man gulped as Amanda gave him a vicious smile before she began…to sing.
"You better take it from me, that boy is like a disease
You're running, you're trying, you're trying to hide
And you're wondering why you can't get free
He's like a curse, he's like a drug
You get addicted to his love
You wanna get out but he's holding you down
'Cause you can't live without one more touch.
He's a good time cowboy casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
Looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight
You better run for your life."
Barba felt as though he might feint. He stared slack-jawed at Amanda, who actually had a pretty good voice, especially taking into consideration that she hadn't warmed up before singing this. She was still singing, actually.
"I see that look on your face
You ain't hearing what I say
So I'll say it again
'Cause I been where you been
And I know how it ends
You can't get away
Don't even look in his eyes
He'll tell you nothing but lies
And you wanna believe
But you won't be deceived
If you listen to me
And take my advice
He's a good time cowboy casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
Looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight
You better run for your life."
By this point, Barba was standing in the doorway of the courtroom, looking in at Amanda still singing what he figured was called Cowboy Casanova. It might have been by Carrie Underwood, but Amanda was singing over the original artist, so he couldn't be sure. Barba glanced once more at Davis's hilarious facial expression, which was somewhere in between horror, fear, and mind-numbing panic. The judge was unconscious, and the rest of the courtroom was in an uproar, with some of the jurors swaying and singing along. Lena, surprisingly, looked like a kid in a candy store as she observed the chaos and listened to Amanda sing.
"Run run away
Don't let him mess with your mind
He'll tell you anything you want to hear
He'll break your heart
It's just a matter of time
But just remember
He's a good time cowboy casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
Looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight
You better run for your life."
Barba stepped out and gently shut the courtroom doors as the final stanza arrived and Amanda finished strong.
"Oh you better run for your life
Oh you better run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!"