*Disclaimer- I don't own Kuroshitsuji*
One shot... because I have no life. I was bored when I wrote this so... here!
Dear Ciel,
You are probably, at this very moment, as you read this, wondering who this letter is from. Wondering why you got it. And the answer is simple; I am here to let you know something. To tell you something. Why? Because you need to know. I believe you need to know because I feel it… and trust me, you won't be disappointed with this story.
I chose you because I adore you, of course. You are interesting. Straight-forwards, always to the point, always attentive. You don't give a damn about others, yet you do, and that is truly appealing. Which makes me wonder, if you only care for a small number of people… how will you handle this letter? For I am going to tell you about the death of someone. But, you'll probably handle it well, just as you handed the death of your parents, the death of your aunt, Madame Red. The people you left to die.
Yes, I know about Madame Red. Everyone knew how she died… but do they know how? Do they know a creature of supernatural means killed her? They should. You should let them know. I mean, you claim not to lie, but you lie every day, don't you? You even lie about how you go about your day, your servants, your butler, your life. You lie about the fact that you want to live. But we'll get to that more later.
As you have been wondering... who am I? Well, that's easy to answer. I want to tell you about me. Unlike you, I don't have those deep blue eyes. Eyes intense enough to pierce the soul. Instead, they are… red, perhaps? I never paid attention to the actual color.
I am small, something frail. But I suppose all humans are frail. I, like you, have been orphaned. I know what it is like to have everything you know, value, and trust to be ripped out of your hands. And the worst part is that it is ripped from your hands because of who you are. Who you were born as. You are punished… because you were born. That's the basic idea, isn't it?
Another similarity; we are both important figures. We are both dangerous. And… we both have the means to get what we want. Whenever we want.
So, tell me Ciel, have I caught your interest yet? Are you hooked?
Another question… should you be?
It makes me wonder if you are even prepared for what is to come.
Why have you got this letter… well, that is because I wish for you to know it. Understand it. Because, Ciel, you have forgotten about it. I swear, whoever said that there is knowledge in power… is right. You have no idea how much fun I've have just by knowing… knowing knowing knowing….
But, knowing isn't everything. So, I'm giving you a chance I never had… a chance to stop knowing.
Is that what you choose? Then turn back now.
Or, are you like me, always asking for answers? Then continue on… though I warn you.
Continue? I knew you would choose it. You are always going to choose that path, Ciel. Scared? Of course not. The great Ciel Phantomhive isn't scared of everything. So, I shall continue… if you have the guts to stomach this.
I'll start with the birth of me. I was always lurking about, at the barest corners of the world, your world, when… you called me. You called me unwillingly. But, you can't remember calling me. All you know is that a part of you thirsted for me. And I came.
You asked me to do something. So I decided to be… myself. For, it is only natural I be myself, right? So I was. I was the perfect angel, the perfect little subordinate you wanted. What you needed. And I did it, Ciel.
Let me tell you, in slow, agonizing detail of what I did to the poor little girl. She had just been walking along the hallway, minding her own business… when we saw her. She talked like how she normally does, stuttering, her glasses overly large on her nose. And in that moment, you called me. Remember now? No? Let me continue.
I invited her to that sitting room, with all the cushions. Told her what a great servant she was. Told her she did excellent, all the time. She blushed and stuttered some more, and I continued. I gave her tea. I smiled and encouraged her to drink, to eat. She looked worried, but took some anyways. Good manners. It is always very rude when one refuses food and drink that's offered. But I'm running off on a tangent now… where were we?
Oh, yes, I remember. I poured her a second cup of tea, and as she reached forwards… I grabbed her arm, and dragged her forwards, across the table, onto the floor. The tea cup smashed into bits, and she screamed from surprised. And I picked up those bits, those tiny pieces that could never be put back together, and I blinded her. Took away her sight, a big part of who she was. So she lost everything. And though she was still screaming, still struggling, I wrapped my hands around that throat, on that skin that was smooth and light like butter. Turned it red, raw.
And I let go, let what she was fade away. I took it away, Ciel. All that potential, something that was an embodiment of the universe. Now fading away under the ground, rotting.
I remember a poem. A poem that is short, but the tune forever stays etched in my memory…
Don't you ever laugh as the hearse goes by, for you may be the next to die.'
I had to think of that. I do laugh… and do you? You mutely stare, acting cold, stoic, apathetic. But as I said before, we are similar. The same. And I sure as hell laugh quietly. In the dark, when no one is around to see the twisted monster, I laugh slowly. Maniacally. I do so enjoy death.
Back to my story… I dragged the body away. I let the blood leak out everywhere. And I had to stop them… oh, you know Ciel. The others. They saw what I had done to the poor girl, and they tried to stop me. So I had no choice. I used a knife, like your dear butler would. And I slaughtered them. I them laughed, letting the blood out everywhere. That is what you wanted, right, Ciel? For you do request I obey you… if I didn't obey you, then who else did I obey?
But this only prompts more questions than it answers. And the two, one of which I haven't really answered yet, is still pressing at your mind. Who am I? And Why? Why would I do something like this? Why would I brutally murder two innocent people? Why did your butler not help, Ciel? Why did he not come to your aid? Maybe because he realized your soul… is tarnished.
With me.
I am your demon, Ciel. I know what you do. I creep at the corners, under the bed, in the closet. I let you eat, sleep, breathe. You go about your normal day, every day. For only in the light are you safe.
At night you are mine. My own. I haunt you, every minute after the sun goes down, I haunt you.
I haunt your dreams, and show you the monster you are. That's all I want Ciel. Fear not, for I am in all of us.
I will wait. I will wait for you to remember, regardless if you want it. I need to wait, Ciel. For you, your very essence, it feeds me.
Have you heard enough? Because I have nothing left. You know now. So, I will leave, and whether or not you wake to blood on your hands, abandoned by all you keep loyal, is up to you. And if you refuse this, if you refuse my help, I'll still be here. I have no choice, like I said before. You do.
But… what if you choose to remember? Then I invite you to wake up to the harsh, cold reality of life.
Hopefully you will take my words into consideration, Ciel. For if you don't, if you choose to forget all over again… that is you choice. And if you make that choice, I once again invite you to re-read this letter.
Sincerely, Ciel Phantomhive
