A better version to the first one. I hope...
James is eying him hardcore. He's losing him, he can't control him. Their eyes meet, hazel to green as their paths cross, the blondes first to break the gaze. The brunette stares after him. He's left with shivers, the boy smirked at him before proceeding, that same smirk that broke his heart every time. The same one that pulled him in as well. He shakes out of his intense stare and focuses on something much more inviting and less intimidating. He wraps his arm around his neck, brushing his finger along the golden crucifix chain. Said boy looks up with a fond smile. Logan Mitchell, the light in his darkness, the one that saved him. As he holds on tenderly to his boyfriend, he can't help but have memories of the past…
" James, you're just a melodramatic punk okay, I'm just going out for a bit and you bitch me out," he yells at me, why is it that after rolling around with me under the covers he has to go out afterwards? I just don't get it, does he not want to spend time with me anymore?
" Ken, I just want to hang out with you… I look at him with sad eyes but all he does is roll his eyes, it hurts me to know that I no longer can entertain him in other ways than just in bed. He sighs and throws his leather jacket on. He walks over and gives me a kiss then walks out without another word. This is the usual scene I am treated to every other day. The door closing with his back turned on me. I guess Kendall just doesn't know how to feel, I wish he could step into my shoes one day and just see what I feel. I love him but I don't know if he feels the same way about me…
" I can't believe I ever wasted my time with a jack ass like him," I tell Logan, he smiles at me sadly but his eyes are full of sympathy. Kendall cheated on me with many women and men and he still had the audacity to lay next to me at night and wrap me in his arms and tell me that he loved me. Son of a bitch I should of known. That player rides life without a helmet and doesn't care to buckle up either. I hope he get's karma's ticket…
End of flashback.
He spots him again, Kendall. Across the pool, resting on a lounger, head shot straight forward to where James and Logan rest. His eyes are hidden behind black glasses. There's an obvious nonchalance and he has a Devil-may-care attitude. Almost to a cliché point. How can he just lay there with that smug grin and not think that anything is wrong? He doesn't care actually, so he has a right, well at least in his point of view. James pathetically tries to cast his eyes elsewhere but it's to no avail, Kendall has him enthralled and will always have him. James want's to get out of the trance, he's desperate. His heart is screaming in Logan's ear, but he doesn't seem to take notice. He needs Logan to get Kendall out of him completely, to make him forget about all the pain he's caused James…
Their holy entourage descend in the crowds of loyal fans to the musical apostles: Logan, James, Carlos and Kendall. Arms reaching forward trying to grab at the boys. They scream out their love for them, it's rowdy and packed. Kendall always tries to get close to James at times like these, when he's vulnerable against the thousands of people, but James knows how he works and he swats him away every time. Logan notices his distress and pulls him closer. He's his comfort.
" James, you know I love you right?," he says to me, there is sincerity in his voice that makes me beam with giddy happiness. I lean down to kiss his soft lips gently, he smiles and pulls away. After everything Kendall put me through I never thought I would find anyone again, but Logan came down from heaven and saved me. Just at the right time too, just when I was about to never love again. I love him so much, he's perfect…?
Who knew love would be so hard? I didn't think I could ever bring myself to feel again, for him. But I still love Kendall. And I am scared, I need my savior to save me from him, but he's sly and casts his charm over me and makes me love him again. Well James, wrap that bandanna around your forehead cause you're about to sweat love and regret. Welcome to my electric chapel of false prayers…
Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as
Juda-as
Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as
Juda-as
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! Juda-a-a
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! GAGA
Leather clad cholo do you feel like a bad ass because you lie to your light? Because after being trapped in that black hell, he saved you and held you with a promise of his eternal grace. But you went back to dark without a lamp and now you're in between that hideous shade of gray. You're a holly fool James, you could have chose to stay in your one religion and be saved but you go back to the world and roll around in it's filth. Shame on you.
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! Juda-a-a
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! GAGA
When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me
James and Logan watch as Kendall takes advantage of one of two intoxicated girls propped against the crooks of his elbows. Logan looking stoic and a little sad at his friends actions. As where James just looks plain disgusted and ashamed as always, but he can feel a little tinge of jealousy course through his veins, and that scares him. And when the blonde turns to look at him, he smirks and winks. James gulps, Kendall does this to make him jealous and James want's to die because it's working. Kendall will never stop hurting James, and James will never stop wanting to go back until he can rid himself from him. Forever.
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
A king with no crown, king with no crown
Logan is a king with a crown of thorns and gold like no other. He's perfect and deserves the best in life. Kendall is a king with no crown, he's irresponsible so I guess he get's nothing . But his malicious way get's him everything, because he takes and doesn't care what you say.
" James, you stay with me tonight and I'll keep you in my heart forever," and as I agree I don't notice the crossed fingers. Liar. He's a great actor you know, I'm kind of jealous. Oh no I've fallen in his web again, learn to say no. with caressing hands and eyes that hypnotize me again, I kiss him. A kiss that poisons and chaps my lips. He pushes me onto his bed and removes my clothes then he slowly get's on top of me and begins to leave his toxins along my skin. I can't think of consequence or Logan right now, I'm lost in euphoric lies.
I'm just holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! Juda-a-a
Judas! Juda-a-a, Judas! GAGA
The band moves through towns spreading it's influence, proselytizing and converting people to their music. Catchy tunes, lyrics, and the boys are really not that hard to interest someone. So they rise to fame quickly but tamed. Pretty soon they're good enough to go visit places, important places. Logan and the boys comfort and heal people with influential words and their music.
I couldn't love a man so purely
Even prophets forgave his crooked way
I've leaned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
A king with no crown, king with no crown
Kendall is so cruel, the way he walks around like a boss thinking he's the ultimate shit. Fuck you boy, fuck you and your way of life. No fuck me, fuck me and my disgusting way of living. How could I do this to Logan. My boyfriend and Kendall's best friend? I couldn't love the man so purely. Especially cause he treats me so crudely…
Kendall get's rowdy at this point at the lack of James' attention. He advances on him, but Logan stops him with an outstretched hand and a hard glare. Kendall licks his lips, and desists. He can't let Logan know of his rendezvous with the boy clinging to his arm. He always makes moves on James, and how Logan is yet to know is a complete mystery. He doesn't question it, he'd rather not have him know of what he and "ex boyfriend" over there do when he's not around and out there giving words of wisdom.
I'm just holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
" Logan, I can't hang out tonight…something has come up… I lie to him, his brown eyes turn sad and I feel like a piece of shit. But he smiles and tells me that it's okay and there will be other times. With one kiss and a sorry I walk out to live my bad romance.
I lay by his side, he wraps me in his arms and whispers his lies to me again. We're good for a few days until I find out something new. A new lie, what was it this time? More adultery, theft of others virginities, I feel my body numb with pain when he gets a phone call from some stupid skank asking to meet up again, because he's a god in bed. The sad thing is that I agree with her. I'm done, I'll bring him down this time. I'm done forever. Let's hope…
Ew.
In the most biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute, wench
Vomits his mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offenced,
Or wear ear condom next time
After all that's been said and done, Logan moves to confront Kendall, but James stops him, determined to deal with him directly. James looks him in the eyes, the blonde smirks. They share this sort of mental message almost as if Kendall can control his emotions. Well bandanna wearing, leather clad cholo you got your wish. You have everyone's utmost attention. Speak the truth and prophecies, the cameras are here and they want the show so sing super star.
" Everything is fine," liar.
" Nothing is wrong," shut the fuck up.
" I love you Logan," go to hell James.
I wanna love you,
But something's pulling me away from you,
Jesus is my virtue,
And Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to
I practically put the lipstick on Kendall's lips, he kissed Logan and promised to always be his friend and never go against his word, or back stab him, he saw me and he betray him. Thirty silver pieces of sexy lies and betrayal. I am fame hooker. I need attention. James knows he's damming Logan and this cripples him emotionally.
" Kendall is the demon I'll cling to,".
Realizing finally what Kendall has done, James finally falls in anguish, sorrow echoing in their ears. Logan tries to comfort him. He is calm, but sympathetic to James' distress. James sees that lone tear finally fall from Logan's eye and he knows he has finally been marked for emotional execution.
You look at me, you've finally found out the truth. You're heart and soul are broken, wrecked. More than mine? I'm not sure babe. I washed both your feet, but I spent extra time on him. Even if you're saved, darkness will always call to you and you'll always have temptations no one is one hundred percent holy. Well maybe you are, I'm sorry Logan. Bow down to you, give my soul to you, you will set me free, pacify my demons. Surrender myself, submit infectiously, sanctify my demons. I can't I am beyond repentance, I am beyond your forgiveness.
James reaches for Logan in agony, he has been corrupted. Perfection was impossible. Logan holds him, he understands why James has changed. The pretty boys' eyes are red and watery, he throws fistfuls of nothing at Kendall, a meager attempt to cure his flaws. He just smirks at him. He can't change him. He will never forget him, when Kendall spits on his being he shudders and cries out. He's betray him once again and forever…
Just holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holly fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as
Because you love me and always will, you sacrifice yourself for me, you let me be and figure out what I truly want. I can never forget Kendall, your hands are nailed, and you shed your last tear walking away from me. You have been crucified metaphorically, Life finally stones me because of my action I've made a grave mistake. And the Immaculate Heart Of James will forever be broken. I am sent into an abyss, where you don't exist, because I could not resist…The Judas Kiss.