Funny Bleach Episode 44: Yammamoto Stinks
You already know how the day is but I`ll say it anyway. It`s a beautiful day. Lol.
[Hangout room]
[Rukia walks in and grabs a cup of tea]
Rukia: Hey Rangiku, where`s Oscar?
Rangiku: He`s out somewhere looking for women. (sips tea)
Yoruichi: I`m glad he`s not interessted in me.
Rangiku: I never said that. (smiles)
Yoruichi: What?
Rangiku: He`s crazy about you.
Rukia: And when did he tell you that?
Rangiku: He didn`t, but I can tell.
Yoruichi: Right...
[Renji and Kisuke walk inside]
Both: Hello everyone.
[Renji sits next to Rukia]
Rukia: Hiya gorgeous. How are you doing? (smiles)
Renji: Oh I`m fine. (kisses her)
[Yammamoto walks in and sits next to Rukia]
[Rukia coughs]
Rukia: You need a tic-tac, sweetie. (cough)
Renji: My breath is fine.
Yammamoto: Hi Rukia. (waves)
[Rukia turns and sees Yammamoto]
Rukia: Holy shit! (jumps up) You stink!
Renji: Oh crap, it`s Yammamoto who was stinking.
[Yoruichi covers her nose]
Yoruichi: I`d rather smell puke...
Yammamoto: What are you guys talking about?
Rangiku: Do you even smell yourself?
Renji: He`s a trash.
Rukia: Smells like it too.
[Ichigo walks in and stands next to Yammamoto]
Ichigo: Good God, something smells like shit in here. (looks at Yammamoto) Oh, nevermind. (backs away)
Yoruichi: When was the last time you took a bath?
Yammamoto: (thinks) The day before Unohana stopped taking care of me...
Rangiku: You haven`t taken a bath for 9 months?
Rukia: I can`t take that horrible smell! (sprays him with air freshener)
Renji: It`s no use. He still smells the same.
Ichigo: Someone needs to give him a bath.
Yoruichi: Are you crazy? I`m not seeing him naked again.
Rangiku: You don`t have to. Just throw him in the hot spring. With clothes and all.
Renji: Good idea.
Rukia: Hey what happened to Kisuke? (sees him passed out on the couch) Okay nevermind.
Yoruichi: Oh my God! Yammamoto made him pass out with his horrible smell! The bastard!
Renji: Let`s throw him in the hot spring then.
Rangiku: Yeah.
Ichigo: (looks around) Speaking of him, where`d he go?
Rukia: Crap. Stinky snuck out.
Yoruichi: He`s gonna stink up the whole Society! We have to find him!
Rangiku: But guys, what about Kisuke? We can`t just leave him there.
Rukia: Sure we can. (drags her outside)
Rangiku: Heeey I can walk, ya know.
[Meanwhile at the Kuchiki Manor]
[Byakuya is reading the newspaper at his desk]
Byakuya: So sad. They`re not gonna stop making Yaoi. Hm...sad.
[Yammamoto runs in and quickly closes the door]
Yammamoto: Byakuya, thank God you`re here. I need your help!
Byakuya: No. (keeps reading)
Yammamoto: No? What do you mean "no"?
Byakuya: You can`t just run in here uninvited and expect me to help you, do you? (reads)
Yammamoto: I`m confused. (scratches head)
Byakuya: Of course you are. `Cause I didn`t make myself clear enough for you to understand. And another thing, you smell like ass. So other than running in here uninvited, you make my manor smell like ass too.
Yammamoto: I know that. I need to hide here so the others won`t find me.
Byakuya: Why don`t you want them to find you?
Yammamoto: They want to throw me in the hot spring because I stink too much.
Byakuya: I don`t see what the problem is. You should take a shower everyday. That`s the human way. And they can throw you in a volcano for all I care.
Yammamoto: So you`re not gonna help me?
Byakuya: Well, I didn`t say that.
Yammamoto: Oh, that`s a relief.
Byakuya: Now I`m gonna say it. I`m not helping you. So get out and take that horrible smell with you.
Yammamoto: Fine. (runs out)
Byakuya: (reads) Good thing my Manor always smells nice `cause I have flowers...Oh my God. I have flowers in my Manor? What The Fuck! RUKIAAAA!
[Meanwhile outside]
Rukia: That`s weird. I felt as if Byakuya was screaming my name...oh well. He does it everyday that it made me even hear him when he isn`t. Any luck, Renji?
Renji: Nothing.
Ichigo: Damn it. I never thought that old man could be so good at hiding.
Yoruichi: Yeah. It sucks knowing it`s true.
Rangiku: I just thought of a crazy idea.
Rukia: Tell.
Renji: This better be good.
Rukia: (smacks him) Don`t say that, you`re gonna scare her. This better be good, Rangiku. (looks serious)
Renji: Scare, huh?
Rukia: What, it`s less scary when I say it. Right, Rangiku?
Rangiku: Uh huh, suuure...
Ichigo: So what`s the idea?
Rangiku: I get on his nerves and make him chase me all the way over here and you guys throw him in the hot spring.
Yoruichi: Definitely a crazy idea, but it could work.
Ichigo: Let`s do it. The Soul Society`s sweet scent depends on it!
[Yammamoto walks around, carefully]
Rangiku: Hiya Yammy. What`s up? (grins)
Yammamoto: I`m not taking a bath!
Rangiku: I didn`t come here for that, silly. (giggles) I just wanted to have a little chat with ya, that`s all.
Yammamoto: (looks suspicious) Oh really? About?
Rangiku: I finally figured out why you never had a girlfriend.
Yammamoto: Oh really?
Rangiku: Yup. Because you`re too old for one.
Yammamoto: Who says I`m too old to have one?
Rangiku: I did, just now. And it`s also because you`re too ugly. You also smell like shit and ass combined with puke. It`s really a long list.
Yammamoto: ...Is that so?
Rangiku: Yup. You have grey hair growing all over your disgusting bad-shaped old beaten up body too.
Yammamoto: (angry) Really... (gets angrier)
Rangiku: Yeah. And your legs are too old to even move properly. At this age you have right now, you`re a giant slow turtle.
Yammamoto: Now I`m going to ask you something.
Rangiku: Ask away. (smiles)
Yammamoto: How fast can you run?
Rangiku: Very fast, why?
Yammamoto: `Cause you`re about to die! (chases her)
[Rangiku runs]
Rangiku: Shit!
Yammamoto: Get back here!
Rangiku: (sings) You can`t catch me, la la la la la. (laughs)
Yammamoto: We`ll see about that!
[Yammamoto continues chasing her until they reach the hot spring]
Rukia: GET HIM!
[They all grab him and throw him in the spring]
Everyone: WOOHOO! HOORAAAAY!
Yammamoto: I guess Rangiku tricked me...
Rangiku: Yup. (giggles) But I did mean all those things I said. (laughs)
Yammamoto: I`ll kill you after this.
Rangiku: Haha.
Renji: She got you good.
Yoruichi: Let this be a warning for you, Yammamoto. If you ever stink like that again, we will throw you back in there.
Yammamoto: I got the message. (laughs)
Ichigo: Hooray for the Soul Society!
Everyone: HOORAY!
The End