Disclaimer: I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya… Or the Ouran High School Host Club

It was a normal day at the SOS Brigade, so normal that I was actually basking in the normality. Isn't that just pitiful? Anyways, while I seemed to be in my own personal heaven, Haruhi seemed to be in hell. Yes, hell, with the devil and flames and all that. You would think that Haruhi would actually find that exciting and interesting. I guess not.

"I'm so bored," Haruhi finally announced as she twirled a finger through her brunet hair. "When will something exciting happen?"

I sighed. She was always like this, it was becoming a routine. And frankly, I was becoming annoyed. Either that or surprisingly immune to her complaints. Which one, I could not be certain. All I knew is that I could do nothing to stifle her boredom.

"Why don't you go and do something then?" I asked, earning a death stare from our "Brigade leader." Honestly, what was a "Brigade leader" anyways?

Haruhi moaned, obviously not happy with my answer. She turned back to the window, staring out it blankly. As long as she did not come up with an elaborate scheme that involved me or put Ms. Asahina in any predicaments I was happy with whatever she did. Sadly, her plans usually involved at least Ms. Asahina. Not that I could complain when it did.

Suddenly, Haruhi hit the window with such a force that I am surprised it did not shatter. "Watch it will you!," I yelled at her. "You'll break it if you do that."

"Shut up, you idiot!" she countered, not even having the decency to look at me. Typical Haruhi. "They're here!"

That got my attention. "Who's here?"

Instead of answering like any normal and/or considerate person, Haruhi ran from the room, leaving a confused set of "henchmen" in her wake. Or at least Ms. Asahina and I were left confused. Koizumi seemed unfazed and Nagato continued reading like nothing had happened.

"Well, I guess we should follow her," Koizumi broke the confused stupor, heading after Haruhi. Ms. Asahina nodded, following him as well. Nagato continued reading her book, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Or so it appeared.

"Be careful," Nagato called after me as I left. What did I have to be careful for? Who were these people? Damn, why does this happen to me?

OOO

Haruhi Suzumiya has never ceased to amaze me. Not only a girl who wishes for paranormal activities, and receives them, but she is also a strange beyond belief, possible criminally insane girl. God help me if you can hear me.

In front of her stood seven boys, all of whom were dressed in private school attire consisting of blue jackets with an emblem sewn on, black pants, and black and purple ties. They were all attractive, not that I would ever admit it. Haruhi seemed entranced by them, staring at each longingly for a few seconds before moving onto the next. The boys seemed unfazed by her stares, as if this happened to them on a regular basis.

"Who are they?" Ms. Asahina asked quietly, tugging at my sleeve. She's so cute. I shrugged, not knowing what to say. These people were not even from our school. How Haruhi knew them, I could not be certain.

"You must be Ms. Haruhi Suzumiya," a tall blond boy in the front of the group said, bowing slightly toward her. "I must say that you are even more beautiful in person." Haruhi beamed at the compliment. Actually, I'm surprised that she did not tackle him to the ground. That seemed to be Haruhi's normal way to greet someone, or to accept a challenge.

"If you don't mind my asking," I began, "who are these people?"

Haruhi turned back to me and I found myself in one of those if looks could kill moments. "Duh, this is the host club from Ouran Academy. They are only the most well-known club in Japan. I sent them a letter and they came!"

Ouran Academy: the school with high social standing and rich kids from extremely wealthy and powerful families. You only get into that school if your parents have money and influence or if you are smart enough to pass the scholar entrance exam. Let's just say that 99% of the students going there are indeed rich and/or powerful.

Haruhi led this newly arrived club to our small club room. Instantly it seemed that the members were buzzing with complaints about the size, layout, and anything else they found wrong and simply unacceptable. Basically, anything that seemed like a demotion from their prim and proper life earned a complaint or two.

Haruhi sat them down, leaving us to stand around the room awkwardly, waiting for instruction. Maybe a brigade leader is the same as a dictator or a slave driver? "Alright, let's begin with introductions!" Haruhi exclaimed. "That's henchman 1, Kyon. That's henchman 2, Mikuru Asahina. That's henchman 3, Yuki Nagato. And that's henchman 4, Itsuki Koizumi. And obviously I am the brigade leader, Haruhi Suzumiya, but you already knew that. We are part of the SOS Brigade charged with seeking out the paranormal and anything else interesting."

After Haruhi was done with our introductions, the tall, raven haired boy from Ouran wearing glasses stood, beginning their necessary introductions. "I am Kyoya Ootori, Vice President of the Ouran Host Club. This is Tamaki Suoh, our club president/ king of the host club," he said, pointing to the tall blonde boy from earlier. "These two are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. Please do not ask me which is which," he said, pointing to the red haired twins. "This is Mitskuni Huninozuka, called H unny for short." This time he pointed to a small blond haired boy playing with a pink bunny. Could he really be in high school? "This is Takashi Morinozuka, called Mori." He pointed to a tall black haired boy sitting next to Hunny. "And this is Haruhi Fujioka, the honors student." He pointed to a brunette boy who seemed almost a bit feminine. I was shocked. So there were people who got into Ouran based on their grades. Go figure.

After the introductions were over, Haruhi began filling the host club in on the purpose of the SOS Brigade. If the club was shocked by her mentioning of paranormal activity, they did not let on, although I did see the twins smiling devilishly at the mentioning. Those two scared me a little.

Anyways, Haruhi went on and on about how the host club was going to give us advice on how to attract customers and whatnot. Truthfully, I spaced out during her speech.

"Kyon! Are you listening to me?" Haruhi exclaimed, snapping me from my daydreaming. "You didn't even answer me when I asked you about what I should dress Mikuru in!"

I sighed, looking Haruhi straight in the eye. "That is because I don't really care about this at all." Total lie. I loved what she dressed Ms. Asahina in. This was obviously the wrong thing to say and I instantly found myself sprawled in the hall with the door slammed after me. The host club stared at me with amusement and I could see Koizumi in the back snickering.

"Are you ok?" The boy known as Hunny asked me. He smiled cutely, offering me a hand. I got up, dusting myself off and tried not to look embarrassed.

"That's no way to get a lady," Tamaki explained. "You have to listen to her and show her you care."

"Trust me, Haruhi is not one that I would want to fall in love with me," I explained. Why was he giving me advice? Hell, why was I listening?

Suddenly the door opened, revealing a beaming Haruhi who exclaimed, "Alright, I'm done!" before running back into the room. We filed back in to see that Haruhi had decided to dress Ms. Asahina in the typical maid attire that she normally wore. It made me drool everytime. So cute

"That's what I'm talking about!" Tamaki exclaimed, circling Ms. Asahina and showing signs of approval. "This is one of the best costumes in a club's arsenal! This always attracts customers of either sex!" God he was like a male version of Haruhi.

"Not bad," the twins said in unison.

"She's pretty," Hunny said and Mori nodded in approval.

"And they make great photo opportunities for our website," Haruhi exclaimed.

"What would be better is something that could gain profits for your club," Kyoya said. Haruhi nodded vigorously, smiling devilishly, taking out a camera.

"Alright, Mikuru, strike a pose!" Haruhi exclaimed, readying the camera and snapping shot after shot. Ms. Asahina squealed in her normal high-pitched voice as her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. So cute.

"What would complete this is a butler. Someone to pose next to the adorable maiden," Tamaki exclaimed. Haruhi turned to him, her eyes wide with excitement.

"That's a great idea!" she exclaimed, then looked to me. Oh no. Think again Haruhi. Not going to happen. "Kyonnnnnn," she pleaded, holding up what looked to be butler attire, although I have no idea where it came from.

"No way," I said, backing away right into the hands of the twins.

They leaned down, their faces touching mine. Way to close. "You should do as she says," they both whispered before speaking up, "We'll help! CHANGE CHANGE!"

And with that, I found myself disrobed and redressed by two complete strangers who I found to be just as insane as Haruhi. They shoved me toward Ms. Asahina where we both posed for Haruhi's snapshots. Even the twins had grabbed cameras and were taking photos. Wonderful. It did not help that Koizumi was snickering in the background. Damn you Koizumi.

OOO

Surprisingly, the Haruhi from Ouran was trying to separate himself as much as possible from the group, staying toward the back of the room and away from the obsessive picture taking. I found myself wanting to talk to him. Do not ask me why.

"Hey," I said, approaching him. Haruhi had sent me away so she could take more shots of Mikuru. Haruhi greeted me back quietly, as if he was shy. "So I notice that you are as far away from that as possible. Why would you join the host club if you were not interested in partaking in this?"

"Because I was kind of forced to join against my own free will," Haruhi stated. Against his will? His face reddened and he added, "Please do not tell that to them. It would only add to the debt that I have."

Debt? "Ok sure," I said and he smiled, thanking me before turning back to Haruhi's little photo shoot. The way he smiled, I felt it was as if a girl was smiling at me. Weird.

OOO

"Bye! Come back soon!" Haruhi waved at the retreated boys. They waved back, disappearing away from our school to the limos that would take them back to their own. Haruhi, obviously done with waving, turned back to us, hands on her hips. "Alright! They have taught us so much and now we must put this into action! I order that every day will have at least one photo opportunity which mean costumes! No complaining or there will be a penalty!"

Yes, definitely a dictator. I guess we switched places. Haruhi was now in heaven. I was now in hell. Thank you Ouran Host Club. Couldn't Haruhi be happy with hell, demons, and fire. Then I would not have to worry about what her scheme for tomorrow would be. Well, I guess it's out of my control.

~AN~

YAY! First Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction is done! I've been watching it and wanting to write a story about it for a while now so here it is! I love writing as Kyon. He's so sarcastic and his narrations are so funny. Anyways, thank you for reading and reviewing!