Author's Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to Burst Angel. Nothing at all!
Author's Note: Mikejaffa gave a delightful one-shot challenge to my wifey that I decided to help on. "Get Kyohei in Jo's bed at least for five minutes in a non-sexual manner." Done and done! I like his Burst Angel one shots because they're fresh ideas. Keep on with the fun!
"The Kyohei challenge- Jo's Bed"
Burst Angel one-shot by penpaninu
Kyohei stared at the dishwasher. He was taking his time putting away the groceries and for good reason. Sei had just dropped him off and asked him to unload the dishwasher...and had taken off, of course, to meet with her grandfather, she'd said. But Kyohei had the sneaking suspicion she was just trying to bail out of his latest assignment. Kyohei sighed and shut the cupboard, and balled up the plastic bags from the organic grocery store Sei preferred he shop at. Whip up a four course meal in one hour? He could do that. Bake five trays of tarts for her grandfather's lackies? No problem.
But did she really...expect...him to...
Kyohei paused in front of the dishwasher and placed his hands on the handle. "Okay, I can do this...I can do this!" He sweat-dropped, slowly eased the door open...and nabbed his hand inside, fishing out the dreaded object inside. It was a dildo; no skating around THAT. Eight inches long, plastic and of all colors, bright purple. Kyohei tried to stuff it into his pants pocket, but THAT wasn't going to work. Just as he was beginning to sweat, a familiar voice sang out in the kitchen doorway.
"Hey, Kyohei! Whatcha makin'?"
OH SHIT. Amy! Kyohei turned his back, hiked his sweater up and stuffed the dildo inside his t shirt and puffed the sweater back down over the obvious bulge.
"Uhm... nothing! Nothing yet!" he said alittle too loudly. Amy looked confused. And alittle hurt.
"Awww and you said you were gonna start on cookies. I can't code without my sweet fix!" she pouted. Kyohei made to shrug comedically, when he had to hitch the dildo back against his flat tummy. Amy eyed his middle with a hint of interest.
"Uhm...that's a strange place to get excited at," she said none too helpfully. Kyohei flushed and edged sideways out of the kitchen.
"I'll be right back! to start those cookies...yeah... that's it!" he yelped, and opened the nearest door. Amy paused, one hand on a bottle of soda, and backed out of the open fridge. She looked just the littlest bit afraid for him.
"You're going to Jo's room? She's gonna kill you, Kyo!" Amy said. She made to grab for his sleeve but Kyohei darted in and shut the door.
The curtains were drawn and the room was dim. It smelled like gun oil and girly perfume; if ever there was a blend of Jo and Meg, the room smelled of it. It looked as if he were alone so Kyohei was just starting to relax. He should be able to dispose of the evidence and still retain his dignity with Amy before whipping up dinner...
"You know that doesn't do a thing for me, right?" a low voice murmured from the direction of the comforter. Kyohei yelped, purple dildo brandished like a weapon. He hit the light and Jo leaned up, shielding her slit eyes with one hand.
"Jo! I didn't... I mean... I wouldn't..." Kyohei babbled. He gestured with the offending purple item. Jo smirked and leaned back against two large white pillows.
"Relax, you can stay. It gets boring when Meg goes shopping and leaves me. Don't know what her current fascination is...So, did you bring me my dinner?"
"What...oh... sorry, I was just starting it," Kyohei sweat-dropped. His fingers tightened on the rigid plastic and he placed his hands behind his back. This was getting just a little too weird.
Jo leaned up and moved her free leg under the comforter. The other stuck out in a white plaster cast rigidly from beneath the comforters edge. "Just go ahead and pop a squat. You're not gonna hurt it. Right?"
Kyohei sweat-dropped and perched primly on the edge of the mattress, far form Jo's cast. Jo smirked.
"You know that was a joke, right?"
"Uhm...well, it's the first time you've ever said more than one sentence to me at a time that doesn't involve screaming at me to 'run faster'," Kyohei stammered.
Jo sat up and arranged the comforter over the cast. "Heh, like I said, I'm bored. Do you know how this pisses me off having to just lay here with this cast on?"
Kyohei remembered Jo's grit teeth as she ran and ran. "I-I guess.."
"Don't worry about it," Jo waved a hand. "So what's going on with you?" She eyed Kyohei juggling the dildo. He finally delicately laid it beside him, far from Jo on top of the comforter. "Trying to unravel Sei's teasing messages?"
Kyohei flushed bright red and retracted his hand as if the plastic burned him. "She does like to tease me...but does she really like me? I dunno, what do you think, Jo?"
"Sei is an accomplished intelligent woman," Jo reached beneath one of the pillows. She retracted one of her Desert Eagles and idly began cleaning it with a rag. Kyohei didn't panic. It was so like Jo to do that while conversing with someone, he wasn't afraid like he was in his first few weeks working there.
"But what does she like in men?" Kyohei pressed on, now that the situation was truly relaxed. True there was an effing dildo on the bed, but they were both fully clothed and Jo wasn't trying to shoot his junk. He could live with this.
Jo smirked, her white hair bed-touseled. "Hmm... trying to impress the boss, huh? Well, all I can tell you is that Sei and Leo have history."
This shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it didn't make the news sting any less. Leo did like to tease Sei alot... and he was older, and far more muscular... an alright guy and treated him just fine, but still...youch.
"Oh, uhm, I didn't..."
Jo aimed the gun at the wall, nowhere near her guest. She closed one eye, squinting through the aim. "But she wouldn't commit herself to someone like that. Leo is more of a physical thing, I guess. She did say once she wants...how do I put it..." Jo set her gun on top of the pillow and regarded Kyohei with serious red eyes. "She wants someone she can talk to and who understands her feelings."
Kyohei nodded, feeling better. "I guess I can see that..."
Jo papped him with her bare foot under the comforter. "And you're Mister Sensitive, so don't worry about it. I'm sure if you talk to her, she might express more interest."
"Okay..."
"And quit bein' so damn shy," Jo leaned back and closed her eyes. "Though keep cooking the italian food. I love it."
Kyohei grinned. "How'd you know I planned to make stuffed ravioli tonight?"
"Lucky guess. Thanks for confirming it," Jo said wryly.
Kyohei leaned on one hand towards her on the bed. He smiled widely. "Thanks for the advice, Jo. I had no idea what to..."
"Honey, I'm home!" The bedroom door crashed open, heralding a grinning Meg. She was dressed to the nines in what she called her "shopping outfit". The expensive silk blouse was half buttoned and Jo's eyes trailed there first. "I got you some new shirts and...WHAT THE FUCK, KYOHEI?"
"What?" Kyohei blinked, honestly confused. "We were just talking..."
"Were you trying to come onto MY JO? WITH THAT?" Meg dropped the paper department store bags and pointed a shaky finger at the bewildered youth. It was then that Kyohei realized she was pointing at Sei's "task."
"Come on, Meg! It's not what you think!" he held his palms out but Meg was already on the warpath. She stalked forward into the bedroom and dragged Kyohei off the bed, smacking at him with her palm over the head as she did.
"Oh I know what's going on here! My Jo's hurt and you thought you'd try to talk her into sexing you up! Just when she can't get away! How could you?" Meg pushed him at the door frame and Kyohei almost fell out. He had to catch the door frame to keep from tumbling out on his ass.
"I wouldn't! I swear, c'mon, Meg...ow that hurts!" He whined and took off into the hallway. Meg was screeching and throwing random articles of clothing at him.
Amy raised an eyebrow from the hallway. Kyohei was in a crumpled heap, panting, and covered with shirts and bras. Lastly came the stupid purple dildo. He looked like he had gotten caught doing something horribly illegal.
"Do I really hafta ask?" she asked. Kyohei stood up and watched the bedroom door slam. Loud murmurs reverberated, then silence. Then soft smooching sounds. Amy sighed, looking pained.
"Is Meg on her period alreadY?"
"I don't know and I'd rather not know," Kyohei stood and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, got to get dinner started..."
In the bedroom, Jo was laughing, trapped in her position on the bed."You thought Kyohei was...oh man!"
"Shut up! I thought he was trying to come onto you!" Meg huffed. She flopped on her side of the bed and jumped off the pillow. "Jo! You have GOT to stop leaving your weapons in the bed!"
"Give it here..." Jo took her prized Desert Eagle back. Meg flopped closer and kissed her cheek.
"You could have told me it was Sei's," she complained. Jo raised an eyebrow.
"Did you really give him the chance to say so?"
"Oooh..." Meg pouted. Jo cupped her cheek and smiled.
"Don't beat yourself up over it. C'mere," she murmured. Meg stretched out and kissed her softly.
Back in the kitchen, Kyohei put on the small kitchen tv to drown out the smoochy sounds.
"Hey, you forgot your toy," Amy teased. Kyohei sighed and picked up the dildo and toted it to the kitchen. He'd have to clean it or something now...
"Thanks," he said dryly.
"Soooo, what are we having?" Amy trailed after him.
Kyohei opened the fridge and pulled out milk and pasta filling. "Stuffed ravioli. Now, if you want to help..."
"I don't," Amy offered.
"Well, then can you sit over..."
"I'm home!" Sei called out. She stalked in and unbuttoned her black over coat. Her breasts strained her white blouse. Kyohei watched her, interested. Amy made a face.
"How did it go with your grandfather?" he asked. He espied a bottle of red wine in the fridge and pulled it out. As he made to pop the cork, Sei's face spread into a grin.
"How did you know I needed a glass right about now?" she smiled. Kyohei shrugged and poured into two goblets. Sei took hers and clinked against Kyohei's offered goblet. They both took a sip.
"Well, I know when you have a big meeting with your grandfather, your cousins annoy you badly. Your grandfather sounds alright, but it's family drama. So how did it go today?" Kyohei asked. He filled a large steel pot with water and turned the burner on high.
"At least someone cares how these meetings go," Sei lightly complained. She leaned against the counter and truly smiled at him. Kyohei's heart skipped a beat. "Well, it was the usual. Chang, that's my cousin, keeps trying to talk Grandfather into giving his operations all of the budget. It's really annoying to have to cut him off so he doesn't waste Grandfather's time!"
Kyohei was beginning to relax, despite Amy's faces in the background when Sei raised an eyebrow.
"Uhm, Kyo, when I asked you to empty the dishwasher, I meant 'put everything away'," she said. Kyohei glanced at the counter and turned bright red. When Sei had come in, he had just tossed the dildo on the counter. It was leaning against the pasta filling.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry! I didn't..."
"Just put it away in my bedroom next time," Sei said idly, sipping her wine. Amy guffawed loudly.
"Put it WHERE, Sei?" she teased.
Kyohei snatched the purple plastic and hightailed it out of there.
The End~~~
Author's Notes: Jo's dialogue was filled in by my wifey, Inuskye :P Challenge supplied by Mikejaffa, keep up the fun ideas, man!
Penpaninu 9/21/2013