Disclaimer: All things Blue Bloods belong to Melissa de la Cruz.

A/N: Because I am a masochist, and I wanted to celebrate I took a break from "work" and went back to Hell and Back Again. This is sort of a re-work/full length version of that story. Now back to my other projects.

~Eb

Mimi dropped her regulation black bag on the floor and kicked off her crime against fashion boots. How long had she been on the road? Hours? Days? Days she thought from the farthest corners of the world back to good old fashioned New York. This Venator stuff was serious, there was no more complaining about assignments or where she stayed. Mimi did her job. Period. End of story.

She could not remember: the last time a stylist had touched her hair, when the last of her pale pearl nail polish had finally chipped itself off, or when she completely closed her heart down. Love was pain. That was the only truth she knew for certain. People she loved left. They chose her over Mimi. The little half breed won everyone's heart over because she was Gabrielle's daughter. Mimi had played a crucial part in the war, she did her duty for years and all she could get from people was the brush off as they followed paths toward her.

There was no time to contemplate what had happened, she was back now. She had to be all back. A list of appointments was left on her desk, courtesy of her mother , that would turn her back into the it girl she had been born to play. Shoving on a pair of over large sunglasses and ramming her feet into some ancient pair of flip flops Mimi flopped out of her room ready to undergo yet another transformation.

After a day of dyeing, clipping, painting, and plucking, Mimi was back to her pre-marriage debacle self. Stepping out of Bergdorf's in a new Emilio Pucci dress her blonde locks freshly died and blown out Mimi felt more like herself. At least more like the girl she had been, somewhere inside she was blending together the warrior and princess and when the two finished the battle the product would be fearsome in deed.

She caught a cab to her the local hot spot and went in to order her favorite drink. She sat at the bar sipping her martini trying to remember how exactly she was supposed to act. Everyone was gone. Jack had run off with Schuyler to Paris. Bliss had stabbed a knife so deep into her chest that it was impossible to survive. There is always her sidekick, what's his name? But like everyone else he probably had better things to do than hang around Mimi. Like she would even want to see him. Kingsley… Mimi was the last of their twisted acquaintance circle to still strut the streets of New York.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A tall elegantly dressed man asked. He took the seat next to Mimi, leaning toward her. She looked him up and down and turned back to her drink.

"No," she said into her martini glass. The phrase was dismissive she was not looking for something to snack on tonight. In fact, in recent months she had not craved red blood. The thought of piercing a Red blood's skin and drinking fully from the blood of a mortal made her stomach turn. Her desires ran..darker. She downed the rest of her drink in one gulp ignoring the ignorant businessman. If he couldn't take a hint then it was no wonder he was still single.

"Looks like you could use another." The man was not to be detoured from his mission. He signaled the bar tender for yet another drink for the pretty lady next to him. Mimi turned on her stool and looked the man in the face.

"No," she said her voice layered with every ounce of power she possessed. The man swayed as if Mimi had hit him with a one ton mallet and backed away. Mimi wanted to be left alone.

She snapped her fingers for yet another drink and finished it without a thought. There was another and another, so many that she lost count and the bar tender started to worry about alcohol poisoning. Mimi snapped her fingers for another and he refused. She could force him. Make him give her another. The power was there, she had reached for it to force the man to get her another drink.

Mimi paid her tab and left the bar. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she passed the call onto her voice mail. Why did he feel the need to call her anyway? Wasn't he being taken care of by the half blood why was he calling her?

Her hand curled around the phone and she chucked it straight into on coming traffic. If anyone was going to shatter her life, she was going to be the one to do it.

The next morning Mimi woke up and walked around her empty house. There was no point in going back to school and college seemed so trivial. Still her hands stilled over the glossy brochures. She could be normal, make friends. No, that was the life red bloods led she had a war to wage.

Mondays meant one thing: Committee meetings. Mimi put on her favorite pair of four inch heels and headed up town for the weekly meeting. The new Blue Bloods waited in the main room their instructor carefully reviewing his notes for the day. Mimi sneered inwardly they intended to let Archie train these people. No wonder they were losing the war.

The Committee sat at the elegant table, but they were no longer simply planning benefit dinners and what to wear to the opening at the Met. Now, they waged war. Fielded facts and tried to discern truth from lies. There were several other Venators present, she nodded at them silently and they acknowledged her with a slight movement of the eye. They focused more intently on their notes. Mimi took up a position along the back wall, her back against the wall and pulled out her own notebook. There were random words written on the pages. They meant nothing to the common eye, things like Channel, Madeline, and Anna.Some might consider it a list of names, which granted it was, but there was little connection amongst these names other than the fact that she had written them all in the notebook. At least on the surface. These words meant absolutely nothing to anyone except her. Their interpretations clicked memories in her brain.

Channel—a wonderful designer who made so many fashion moves it made Mimi's head spin, was the first clue. It might have been a reminder to pick up a suit, but to Mimi it meant Paris. Of course, it was the epicenter of her current predicament. The first gate where Michael himself had fallen, she had been there, not to the exact location of course but as close as she could get. There had to be some connection between that gate and the ones that would follow.

Madeline was her real name. Well not her real real name, but her name in this life. The name under which she would forever remember losing her other half. Could she even consider it losing her other half, when she had sort of gained a whole new person who filled the void completely? Either way she lost both in the end. Her name however was a signifier for where her heart truly belonged. And where that person disappeared. The second gate, located here in New York. The second gate had opened, not too far from where she presently stood, and unleashed a hell all of its own.

Anna had little connection to her own life directly. More over it was the only book she had found in the library that made her feel better when she chucked it at the wall. Anna Karenina was at least four inches thick and made the best sound when it met the dry-wall at fifteen miles an hour. The book itself linked back to where Mimi believed the third gate was: Russia.

Mimi slid the notebook back into her back pocket and waited for the meeting to be called to order. When they called her name, Mimi felt her heart pick up. But they did not ask for her report. They did not ask for anything they merely asked for her to step forward.

"Madeline," the Senior Committee member started glaring at her over the top of his half moon spectacles. "You traveled to Russia, did you not?"

"Yes," she replied quietly. What was this about she had the next gate they had to believe her.

"And while you were there how many familiars did you take on?"

"Uh," Mimi faltered. "I was too concerned with my work." It was a partial truth and the best lies are always based in fact.

"Yes your work was very important but your health is what is being discussed here."

"I found little time for such matters." Confess that was all they needed to know. "There were more pressing problems." Like Kingsley being stuck in the bottom of the pit.

Chill Force or we'll never get through this…the familiar voice whispered in her mind. Mimi closed her eyes against the voice, no she was not going to consider it at all. She curled her hands into fists and closed her eyes against the voice hating her herself. There was the smallest part of her that wanted that voice to never ever stop talking.

"Well, I think I speak for this Committee when I say this Madeline, you are relieved of your duties and will report to Dr. Pat for a full work up. You may leave."

Dismissed. Again.

Mimi laid on her bed staring up at the ceiling this was pathetic.

Now you're getting somewhere Force.

"Shut-up," she said the space. Her room made no reply and the voice in her head said nothing in return. Mimi curled up and cried.