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Excerpt from the daily journal of Simon Tam- June 18

I didn't like her the first time she came onto the ship. Too much like Jayne- gun-toting, crude, dirty, tactless and quick-tempered. The bigger downside was that unlike Jayne, she isn't stupid. Her wit is quick and scathing. She's perceptive to the point of precognitive. She laughs at others misfortune, she's indifferent to anyone's feelings and is quick to point out faults (or even just when you're wrong). Unfortunately I can't bring myself to hate her because she likes River. No, that's not quite accurate. She likes, appreciates, even understands River. I know there have been times when my sister has scared people with her almost superhuman abilities. Even her own crew, her friends, cannot see her the way they used to anymore. She's lost all innocence she once held.

Yet this girl, this newest addition to the insanity of life on the Rim, appreciates River's (and I quote directly) "badassitude". The thought of a sixteen year old girl surviving a Reaver attack doesn't phase her in the least. She listens to River's incoherent babbling, even asks her questions about it. Most of the time my sister will not give her a clear answer, I assume because she can't, but the fact that she even tries is amazing. Every member of my crew looks to one another awkwardly whenever River has a burst of insight that comes from someone else's mind, either someone in the room she's in or someone whom she has never met. The newest member of our absurd family will think a moment on River's words, consider if they are worth acknowledging, and either respond appropriately (or not) or ignore it and go about her life. There was a particular instance in which River screamed and began shaking, looking around her at the people no one could see or hear. Her lips trembled as she informed us that the men were everywhere, the school wouldn't stop it and they all had rape on their minds. It was a very vivid memory, one I'm not sure is one of River's own or an infused one, and it was scaring her very much. Everyone else listened on bated breath, not sure what to do or say. I tried to console River as best I could but she thrashed against me, I suppose convinced I was one of the men out to harm her. But this girl, this crass, weapon crazy girl, simply looked at my sister and said very calmly "If they try to rape you, little girl, you just go and rape them right back." And River paused a moment, then smiled, then laughed. "I could," she admitted, looking prideful. "Very badly."

I'm not sure how I should be taking this. On the one hand I'm glad that she could calm River, even make her at ease in the face of something to tragic. On the other hand… what does it say about my life as a doctor if all my sister needs is a smartass teenager asking her questions that knocks her sense of thinking off balance enough to get the memories to stop? It sounds like I'm jealous and I swear I'm not. I'm simply confused and concerned. And very, very wary. Why doesn't anything River says upset this girl? It feels like she's hiding something, and if that something is a deep connection to the Alliance then I don't want her anywhere near River. I hate to sound paranoid even to myself, but what if she's a spy? Maybe she's not phased by River's abilities because she already knew about them before she came on board. Then again, wouldn't River already know? She always knows. I'm just cautious right now. I'm glad River has found a friend she cannot scare, but I'm not about to let my guard down yet.