A/N—This story is dedicated to Chaosmob who sent me the song that inspired the story and also to my ever talented beta Hepburn, to whom I owe many thanks. Please read and review.
Spoilers—This Little Piggy
Disclaimer—I don't own any of the characters as they are the property of DC Comics. I do not own the lyrics to "Issues" and I am making no money from this story.
Issues
I'm a rich kid with issues, lots of issues.
She should have known this evening would be a disaster. She should have never agreed to come as she had known that Alfred was just trying to play the matchmaker. Another futile attempt to get Bruce to admit he wanted to be with her.
Ohhh yeaah
Sometimes
I feel like I'm going out of
My mind,
Boy the way you do me is a
Damn crime,
But then you smile at me
And its all right,
With you there ain't no in between...
Every time that I walk out the door
I tell myself I can't take it no more
Theres a part of me won't let you go
I keep sayin' yes when my mind's sayin no..
She didn't know what she was thinking and she had even been prepared to forsake her Amazon values and play the dumb blond. She hated herself for it but a least she had walked away from him. She was done and he could take his issues go straight to Tartarus. He was a tall, dark and brooding piece of Cerberus dung.
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues,issues,issues
We got issues issues issues.
It had all started with a phone call. Diana had been working at the Themysciran Embassy when Alfred had called sounding almost desperate, well desperate for Alfred.
"Your Highness I need to ask a favor of you?" Alfred had said agitation clear in his voice.
"Sure Alfred what can I do for you?" Diana had replied.
"Master Bruce's latest date has eloped in Hawaii with her current co-star and I need to find him a new companion for tonight's charity auction." he'd said.
"Why can he attend alone? He has done it before." Diana had asked.
"He has gone alone to a few too many of these events lately and the press is starting to think something is up. He needs to bring a beautiful date or the press may suspect that his playboy reputation is just an act." Alfred had replied.
"So you think him taking Diana of Themyscira will help?"
"Well not exactly. I was hoping you would go in disguise as a more typical date of his. Maybe with blond hair and a low cut dress?" he said hopefully.
"Oh Alfred, I don't think so. I'm not much of a liar or an actress and acting like one of Bruce's bimbos goes against all my principles. Besides Bruce and I really haven't been getting along well lately."
That was an understatement. He now completely ignored her when they met and they seemed to always fight now at the founders' meetings. He had canceled all of their sparring sessions for the past month. She had gotten the message loud and clear so she had finally accepted when Nemesis (a.k.a. Tom Tresser) had asked her out. He had been pursuing her for months.
"Don't do it for Master Bruce but as a favor for me please. Miss Gordon can't go as she has a date with Master Richard. I suppose I could call Miss Kyle, I think she is in town." Alfred said as if the idea had just occurred to him.
"I'll go. Just tell me where and when," she sighed in exasperation. The crafty Englishman had played her and she had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.
It's awful, boy you leave me hangin for so long
You empty out my love until it's all gone
You change the words but still it's the same song
I'm tired of the melody
Change my number and throw out your clothes
But my feelings for you, they still show
I keep building the walls round my heart
But then I see you it all falls apart...
She had flown her invisible jet and parked it in the Batcave. She had arrived at the Manor a little early so she could get ready mentally and physcially. She changed into an ice blue halter cut gown with a low v-neck and had used her magical necklace to create the illusion that she had long straight platinum blond hair and a fair skin. She looked rather Nordic in appearance. Alfred had escorted her to the library and she sat in a chair reading The Grapes of Wrath while she'd waited for Bruce.
His expression upon seeing her was strange. "What are you doing here Princess and why are you dressed that way?" he queried.
"She is your date Master Bruce as Miss Seals is now Mrs. Ellison. I asked her Highness to fill in and she graciously agreed to go in disguise. Meet Miss Daphne Jamison, supermodel wannabe." Diana inwardly cringed at her shallow persona.
Bruce just gave her a hard stare then held out his arm to escort her to the car. Alfred drove them in the Bentley to the event.
Bruce, it seemed to Diana, went out of his way to be rude to her. His behavior angered her as she was doing him a favor. She just smiled and looked pretty but empty-headed. He played the drunken fool to the hilt while making digs at her to the others at the party.
"You know what they say about blonds. The dumber they are the better in bed." which caused several men to laugh and several ladies to sneer at her in contempt. She really started hating Bruce at this party. He had never been so openly hateful to her. She was never more grateful than when it was time to leave.
They sat in silence on the way back to the Manor. All Diana wanted to do was leave and never step foot in Gotham or Wayne Manor again. She stared out the window feeling as though she had rocks in her stomach. Another night of pain courtesy of Bruce Wayne.
"I'm sorry Princess, I know I was over the top tonight but Bruce Wayne needed to be." he said softly as he reached out and touched her hand.
Diana felt the electricity shoot up her arm at his touch. Why do I have to love him she wondered. "It's over Bruce so forget about it," she replied in a cold voice as she pulled her hand away.
The silence continued until they arrived at the Manor. Diana thanked Alfred as he opened the car door for her then she stalked angrily up the stairs to the front door that Bruce opened for her. She touched her necklace as soon as the door closed releasing her true appearance. She just wanted to get in the jet and get away.
Before she reached the grandfather clock, Bruce grabbed her arm and spun her into his embrace. Without giving her a chance to react he pressed his lips to hers in a desperately passionate kiss. Diana was stunned at first, then overwhelmed by desire.
Bruce pushed her against the wall as he deepened the kiss and their tongues mated and danced with each other. Diana wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. He slid his hand down her side and over her hip as her reached for her thigh. He lifted it up out of the slit in her dress and wrapped her leg around his hip as he pressed his arousal against her womanhood.
Their kisses started to flame out of control and Bruce moved his hand to her breast, sliding his fingers beneath the material of her dress and caressing her nipple with his thumb. She moaned loudly as he pulled his mouth away from her lips a started kissing her neck.
He moved his lip to her ear and whispered, "Does Tresser get you this hot? Does he make you want to rub against him like a bitch in heat?" He gently nipped her earlobe as his continued to caress her breast.
Diana immediately stiffened in his arms and pushed him away. He went flying across the foyer and landed in a heap as Diana glared at him in fury.
"How dare you say something like that to me?!" She yelled at him as she tried desperately to rein in her temper. She felt like walking over to him and slapping that smirk off his face but she didn't because she was afraid she might break his neck in the process.
"How dare you Princess, coming here for a date with me? Doesn't lover boy keep you satisfied? Is that why you came here, to get a little something on the side?" He sneered at her.
Diana nearly exploded from the fury building inside her. She and Tom hadn't even gone on an official date, the most they had ever had was coffee in the cafeteria. She liked him though and she was lonely. Bruce had made it clear he didn't want her. Diana couldn't take it anymore so she turned and opened the grandfather clock and flew down to her jet in the cave. She was already hovering before take-off when she saw Bruce chasing after her. She didn't pause she just took off.
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues,issues,issues
We got issues issues issues.
Wanna fight it, can't hide it
Truth is I think I like it
But in future, illusion
Still I don't know which way to go....
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you
Damn I wish that I could resist you
Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues
Diana wiped another tear from her eye. She was crying about him again. What kind of pathetic Amazon was she? She should just beat him to within an inch of his life and then never speak to him again.
Diana landed the jet on the top of the embassy but didn't want to go inside. She changed back into her armor and took off into the night sky. She flew to the Brooklyn Bridge and looked at her adopted city. She needed to do something erase this miserable night from her mind. She found it a few minutes later as she rescued people from a burning apartment building. She got the people out and helped the NYFD extinguish the flames before they could spread to any nearby buildings.
She felt better after being useful and saving so many lives. She wasn't some weak, simple minded female who pined over a man who clearly had problems. She wasn't a therapist and obviously Bruce needed help she couldn't give him.
She landed on the balcony of her room and entered through the French doors. She smelled of smoke and sweat and she had ashes in her hair. She decided to shower before cleaning her armor. She had just removed her boots when she heard a low voice from the shadowy corner of her room.
"Where have you been?" He hissed.
Diana nearly jumped as he startled her. She really was tired and really distracted if she didn't sense him lurking there.
"Hera Bruce, what do you want?!" She said tersely. She wasn't in the mood for more of his drama.
"I came to apologize," he said softly. At Diana's raised eyebrow he continued, "I'm sorry for the way I treated you tonight. You didn't deserve it. I was a bastard to you."
"Fine Bruce, apology accepted now why don't you go back to Gotham; you're late for patrol." Diana said dismissively.
"Nightwing and Robin are covering for me. I didn't mean to hurt you but I just don't know what came over me." he spoke earnestly.
"I get it Bruce, you don't want me. You have made your feelings crystal clear and I will not bother you with anymore romantic overtures. I can be professional and this will not effect our work so you may leave now."
"Diana…I want you, I always want you. You stink of smoke and are covered in dirt and ashes and still you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I want you and nothing you could ever do would change that. Not even dating another man."
"I haven't even gone on a single date with Tom; we've just talked over coffee in the cafeteria." Diana said as her mind reeled at what Bruce had just said.
"Yeah, but I've seen him flirt with you. He wants you and it is only a matter of time before he asks you out on a date. I don't want that to happen." He said and Diana could hear the pain in his voice.
"Bruce you can't have it both ways. I've been lonely and I deserve some happiness. I respect your mission and your reasons for not pursuing a relationship with me. But you have to let me go, I can't live this half existence anymore," she said softly the pain she was feeling clear in her voice.
"I can't let you go. I...I...love you," he said then continued, "But it's complicated."
Diana walked up to him and removed his cowl and looked into his intense eyes. "It doesn't have to be Bruce. If you love me we can work it out because I love you too. We'll just keep it simple," she said as she pressed her lips to his. All the hunger they felt for one another poured out in that kiss. Bruce pulled away and smiled down at her then wrinkled his nose.
"Princess, I love you but you need a bath. What did you do fly through an ashtray?" He joked and Diana smiled. She pressed her lips to his once again then pulled away and walked towards the bathroom. A moment later her breast plate and bustier came flying out of the room as her head appeared in the door frame.
"Care to join me?" It was a simple invitation, one Bruce didn't have any trouble accepting.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if i should hate you or miss you
Me and my heart we got issues.....x
A/N—They still have issues and they may not be able to overcome them. The rest is up to your imagination. Peace.