I do not own Criminal Minds.

My entry for the March Spring Challenge at CCOAC. Characters given are Reid and Rossi.

Gardens and Irritation

Spencer Reid knew he was acting like a six-year-old, but if David Rossi would just leave him alone then he wouldn't have a reason to throw a tantrum. "I told you, no! I'm staying here! You can't make me go anywhere!"

Rossi crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow at the younger agent before him. "Want to make that a challenge?"

Reid faltered and eyed the older agent warily. He might be taller than Rossi, but he definitely wasn't strong enough to take him on. Gripping the doorknob tightly, Reid weighed his options. It was obvious that Rossi wasn't planning on leaving him alone anytime soon and he couldn't just slam the door in his face. It wouldn't do any good.

The genius had been looking forward to a relaxing day at home. He had already cranked up the air conditioning and was ready to collapse into his comfortable couch and read a book or five. But then his plans were shattered when the elder man came hammering on his door, demanding he come with him. And it seemed like he had no choice.

With a reluctant sigh Reid stepped outside and closed the door behind him. "What did you say we were going to do?" he asked, knowing very well Rossi hadn't mentioned what he had planned.

Rossi grinned. "We're planting you a garden."

Reid locked the door behind him and shuffled after the older agent. "But...why?" He never did have the green thumb, and wasn't keen on acquiring one.

"It's a good hobby and it's relaxing," Rossi answered as they climbed into his truck. "Besides, I'm bored and could use a laugh."

Reid would admit to being a bit more stressed than usual lately and his recent recovery from his addiction was going to take some getting used to. He feared a relapse, and perhaps a garden might actually help him out. Although he didn't appreciate being insulted.

Rossi drove them down to the local gardening shop in the middle of town. Reid followed him inside the humid shop and wrinkled his nose at the smell of dirt and fertilizer. "So...what am I supposed to get?"

The closest he had ever come to gardening were the landscaping shows on television and he seriously doubted his ability to create a garden in the shape of someone's head.

"Whatever you want," Rossi replied and gestured around the small shop. Reid wandered down the aisles and plucked random flowers off of the shelves, figuring Rossi probably didn't have anything fancy in mind. A whiff of lavender travelled up his nostrils and he hastily shoved the plant back, suddenly deciding he had no love for that particular flower. It smelt funny.

Reid was about to head to the cash register when he spotted a tray of daffodils bathing in the sunlight. It looked as though the light was shining specifically on them, showing their beauty to the world. The daffodils reminded him a lot of the flowers his mother used to plant before she got sick. Smiling slightly, he manoeuvred the plant into the pile in his arms and brought them over to a bewildered Rossi.

"Geez, did you buy the whole place out?" Rossi asked as he studied Reid's load.

"You said I could buy whatever I wanted!" Reid defended.

"I didn't think you'd make yourself go broke. Go grab some vegetable seeds."

"Aren't the flowers enough?" Reid complained. Rossi shot him a glare and the young agent hastily hurried over to the rack that held the various packets of vegetable seeds. "Uh...carrots...tomatoes and maybe some peas."

"That's it? You grab twenty different flowers but only three kinds of vegetables?" Rossi asked.

"I hardly have time to cook, let alone harvest vegetables," Reid pointed out as he paid for the stuff. "I don't even want to do this, you know."

"Well, you are. Now come on."

Reid groaned and gathered up his supplies. He placed them carefully in the bed of Rossi's truck and climbed in. Rossi drove back to Reid's place and they entered his backyard with armloads of colourful flowers. Rossi arched an eyebrow at the plot of dirt in the corner of the yard that was overrun with weeds and rocks.

Reid dumped his supplies by the dirt and shrugged. "I think the owners before me owned a garden."

"Yeah, a hundred years ago."

"That's impossible. I highly doubt the house was even constructed a hundred years ago as the foundation and-"

Rossi held up a hand. "Okay, after this, I'm teaching you the art of sarcasm. There's probably a book on it somewhere."

"I know sarcasm!" Reid snapped. "In fact, I'm overjoyed at spending time with you and I just adore planting gardens."

Rossi rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and started pulling clusters of weeds from the overrun garden plot. "Come on, Reid. We got work to do. Stop whining."

Sighing, Reid reluctantly stooped down and cautiously pulled out on weed after another. He flicked the twisted green vegetation into a pile and grew tired of the tedious task quickly. A weed he was tugging on refused to come out. Grunting, Reid braced his feet against the ground and pulled with all his might. The weed flew out of the ground and smacked him in the face-as did the thick worm that came out with it.

"Aaaggghhh!" Reid shrieked and danced across the dry grass of his yard, running his fingers through his short hair and shuddering. The worm thumped harmlessly to the ground and Reid stepped away from it.

Rossi shook his head. "What's the matter? Was it radioactive?"

"No, it was a worm."

"I can see that," Rossi said dryly.

"I hate bugs," Reid snapped, sidestepping the worm with disgust and gingerly crouching down beside Rossi.

"You hate a lot of things, Reid." Rossi rolled his eyes and started moving the rocks off to the side. Reid shivered and hesitantly began pulling out the remainder of the weeds. Sweat coursed down his forehead and he shot a bitter look towards the bright sun. It was much too hot for it to be spring.

Finally finished with phase one, Reid shoved all the weeds into a plastic bag and shoved it into his blue trashcan by the wooden fence. Rossi finished lining up the rocks around the perimeter of the garden and brushed his hands off. "Why don't you get us some lemonade or something and I'll start making holes in the dirt."

Reid raced into his air-conditioned home and breathed a sigh of relief. He changed into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt that he didn't mind getting dirty. He took out a pitcher and filled it with water and then some sugar. After a few lemons were squeezed out he mixed everything into the one pitcher. Reid carefully carried it and two large glasses out into the backyard, where he set it onto the wooden porch.

"Did you actually make that?" Rossi asked in disbelief as he made the final hole in the dirt.

Reid nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Nothing. You never fail to surprise me, that's all." Rossi wiped his hand across his forehead and took a swig from his glass. "It's pretty good."

"Thanks," Reid replied. He reluctantly got up and started to move the colourful flowers from their plastic trays and into the dirt. He packed them in tight and secure. Rossi ripped open packets of seeds and started to deposit them into the holes.

Reid had just planted his last daffodil when Rossi called his name. Reid turned around and got smacked in the face with a clod of dirt. He spluttered and scowled as Rossi laughed. "That actually improves your appearance, Reid!"

Irritated, Reid got up and brushed the dirt off of his face. "Hilarious," he muttered to himself. "Seriously, I'm going to die if I laugh any harder. Aw, it's in my hair!"

He grabbed his garden hose and rinsed his face off. Lips twitching, he quickly turned the frigid water onto Rossi. The older agent swore and leapt up, backing away furiously from the line of fire. He accidently trampled a rose in his haste and Reid groaned. "You killed it!"

"I'm going to kill you if you don't knock it off!" Rossi snapped, dripping water and dirt.

Reid grinned sheepishly and hastily turned the water off. "Well...at least everything got watered!"

"Towel, Reid," Rossi growled and ran his fingers through his wet black hair.

The younger agent hurried to obey. He returned moments later with a dark green towel and handed it to the older agent. Rossi wiped his face and hair and then flicked the towel at Reid. He quickly scampered away and held up his hands in defense. "Whoa! I got enough of that in high school, thank you very much!"

Rossi snapped the towel once more threateningly before turning around and studying the final result. "Not bad, Reid."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I got sunburnt, and my back hurts...and my feet...and I think I got bit by a bug," Reid complained as he picked a piece of dirt out of his hair. "And I'm all dirty."

"...goodbye, Reid." Rossi tossed him the soiled towel and strode for his car.

Reid yelped in protest. "What about clean up?"

"You're a big boy now Reid. Surely you can do it yourself," Rossi mocked as he exited the yard and climbed into his truck.

Reid fumed as Rossi laughed uproariously and pulled away, honking the horn as he departed. "One of these days...one of these days, everyone will feel the wrath of Reid!" He flung his arms out to the side and said the last part with promise. Sighing, he bent down and collected all the plastic trays and threw them out.

The sweat mingled with the dirt on his clothes and he winced at the smell. A shower was in order...with coconut-scented shower gel. Then he would plot revenge...revenge that wouldn't get him killed.

When Rossi's birthday came a few months later, it was an amusement to everyone except the elder agent when they discovered his birthday present was a vegetable basket rather than a fruit basket.