Title: You're Gone
Author: Girlie G.
Rating: PG
Summary: When One of The Chosen Children Comes Down Terminally Ill, How
Will His Lover, Sora, React? Told In Sora's POV. Songfic to Diamond Rio's
You're Gone.
He really is so very wonderful. I'm not entirely sure how I ever got along without him. Whenever I am in dark or particularly nasty moods, he knows just what to say or do to pick me right back up. . .Just like now. After a particularly crappy day, here he is, holding me to his muscular chest, his strong arms holding me tight, offering me comfort. All I can do is sigh as I am consoled. These are the times I cherish the most.
I close my eyes sighing once again before I lift my head and gaze into his icy blue eyes. Usually one cannot find any proof that he is indeed a human being with feelings, but that's never the case with me. There's always emotion in those baby blues when I look into them. There's always love, mischief, and other emotions I cannot place lining his eyes. I can get lost in those beautiful orbs forever. . .
Oops! I've been staring. I shake my head blushing and looking down quickly. I hear him chuckle and he reaches out, tucking a strand of my short auburn hair away from my plain face. I shiver, as the touch sends electricity shooting through my body in light, gay waves.
I gaze once again into his handsome face and I sigh contentedly at his loving touch. I smile suddenly at the boy in front of me and he returns the gesture with that lopsided grin he always wears on his face, seemingly just for me. I have to struggle not to squeal as that look drives me crazy for him, and I fall all over again. He knows it too.
"Sora," he says suddenly breaking me from my thoughts, "You're staring again." He informs me so lazily, and he has that cocky smirk on his face that usually makes me giggle. I blush instead. Oops. . .busted again!
"Sorry," I laugh before he pulls me closer to his slender body gazing intensely at me. I know what he's after. I tilt my head up as his soft pouty lips capture my own. I run my own small hands through his short, wild, dirty blonde hair as our kiss intensifies. I sigh into the kiss, wishing this night. . .or even this moment to last forever.
Suddenly, he pulls away as a fit of coughs rack his body, and kill the romantic moment. He turns away and coughs violently into his hand. Such the gentleman isn't he? The coughs don't sound too good to me and I gently touch his back and arm in concern. Motherly almost, I rub his back in soothing circles as his fit seems to diminish.
He turns away again and I can take a hint. I wait for him to turn back to me when he feels his guard is back up and he doesn't look weak anymore. I watch as he opens his hand and glances at it briefly before starting slightly, and withdrawing a handkerchief. He wipes at his hand and replaces the handkerchief smiling sheepishly at me. But it's not the same smile from earlier. This one seems to be forced and his eyes suddenly look sunken. He looks much older than he really is. I am deeply concerned. "Are you alright?" I ask him.
With a small smile, he clears his throat and nods. "Hai Sora, but can we go now? I think I may be coming down with something. . ." he asks guiltily. I smile at him in return.
"Of course," I reply, "Lets go." I turn to walk towards my house and I walk almost thirty feet before I realize he is not next to me. "Hey I thought you wanted to go!" I turn around and he's standing there smiling at me. Shaking his head from his thoughts that are unknown to me, he joins me quickly.
We walk in silence until I notice he's breathing rather heavily. "Are you sure you're alright?" I ask him again.
"Hai," he answers again, although this time he seems more unsure, and distracted.
"Okay," I reply, "because that fit was pretty bad. . . I thought you might keel over and die on me." I laugh at my own joke smiling lightly. But he's not joining me in my gay laughter. Instead, he is staring almost regretfully at the ground.
"Sora. . . we need to talk," he says quietly not meeting my eye.
"Alright," I answer nervously before he pulls me to a bench in the park we were currently walking through. I frown. Talks that start with the phrase, "We need to talk" never turn out good.
We sit in silence for a moment as he pulls at a loose thread on his designer clothes. "I was hoping to not have to tell you this, but then again I didn't' think it was that serious..neither did they.I never dreamed that this could happen. . ." He's rambling. This is not a good sign. He's always calm and collected.
Gently, yet firmly I reach out and grab his hand. "Honey you're rambling," I say smiling at him. He grins back at me touching my cheek gently with his fingertips. Again I feel electricity.
Then finding his lap very interesting he continues. "Sorry babe, well what I'm trying to tell you, Sora is, that. . .you remember how I was gone for a week last month on 'business' for my band. . .well I was really in a. . ." he stops as he looks into my deep brown eyes. Still staring he says quietly, "Sora I was in a hospital running tests. . .I. . ."
~*~*~
I said, "Hello I think I'm broken."
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed.
~*~*~
He looks at me again and begins to stutter. I grab his hand to keep him from stuttering further and to offer him my support. "I. . . I'm. . ." he chokes out the next word. The word that shatters my perfect world that included him. A word that no loved one ever wants to hear about someone they care for. A word that- "dying."
I choke on my breath as my eyes begin to burn with a sensation I am very familiar with, tears. "H. . .how?" I manage to choke out before I begin to sob.
"They don't know," he replies without emotion. I am silent. I don't know what to say in this situation. In my head I am screaming. I'm screaming at God for doing this to me, I'm screaming at the fates that have so wronged me and taken my happiness away from me in one cruel, harsh tug that ends my being. . .i'm screaming at myself because. . .oh dear, my comment!
"I. . . I. . .My comment earlier. . .I'm sorry. . .I had no ide-" he cuts me off.
"Sora you had no idea. . .it's just amazing that it took that comment to make me tell you."
~*~*~
I was tryin to be clever
But for the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead.
~*~*~
"Ho. . .How long do you ha-" again he cuts me off.
"No time," he answers bluntly.
"What do you mean?" I ask shocked and breathless.
"I mean my time was up a long time ago. . .I'm living on stolen time," he answers.
"So any day now?" I whisper brokenly.
"Yes, any day could be my last."
"Do the others know?" I ask referring to the other chosen children.
"No."
"I can't believe you could die on me tomorrow. . ." I whisper trying not to cry again.
"Yes I could," he replies evenly, "but the most likely scenario will be another month or so since I am relatively still in good condition."
It is now that I am aware of the tears running down his cheeks. Him? . . .crying? That's not the boy I know. . .
I think now this is the time I realize how true this all is. I reach out and gently brush away his tears. He looks me in the eye. I see a range of emotions in his eyes. Hurt, anger. . .terror?
"Sora. . ." he whispers, "I am frightened." He admits it freely and that scares me even more. I pull him to me and we cry together on that park bench under the starry night.
~*~*~
You knew all my lines.
You knew all my tricks.
You knew how to heal that pain no medicine can fix.
~*~*~
That was two months ago. Now here I sit, by a hospital bed. A bed that holds my lover in it. He is dead to the world, and to most he is gone. . .but not to me. . .not yet. I am not ready to let go.
~*~*~
p And I bless the day I met you.
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on.
~*~*~
The steady whiz and whirr of the machine to my left almost lulls me to sleep. I do believe that this machine distributes oxygen to his body. I sigh sadly, and pull his frail hand into my own. "I'm still here you know," I say softly to him. My voice is barely above a whisper, as if I think my voice might shatter the very force keeping him spiritually here with me now if I were to talk any louder.
"I can't ask you to stay here with me babe, though I wish it more than anything. I know how painful your life has been. . . in the last few weeks especially. Frequent hospital visits are not expected to be fun. I know you're struggling to hide it, but I'm not blind. I just gave you your space." I pause for a moment gathering my thoughts. "but I did see. Some days you just wanted to give up. I could see it. You wanted to just give up. . .some days I wanted to grant that wish for you. . .I wished for God himself to take you from your pain. . .but now that the time is here, I don't want you to go. . ."
~*~*~
And the good news is I'm better for the time we spent together.
And the bad news is you're gone.
~*~*~
I break off here and drop his hand sobbing heavily into my hands. I feel as if my heart has been shattered. I look to his still form covered with tubes and wires. Oh. . .he doesn't deserve this you know. It is this thought that causes me to break down again.
"What will I do without you? I need you!" I wail. My sobbing gets louder as I hiccup and try to breathe better. A nurse sticks her head in and asks if I'm alright. Of course not! What do you think?! I want to scream and yell at her, but instead I politely ask for a glass of water. She smiles and brings me one. I smile a thank you at her.
Then, I turn back to him. "Do you know how much I need you?" I whisper quietly. I have stopped crying for the moment, which is amazing as I have rarely stopped crying since this whole thing started.
His heart monitor beats softly, and that's the only sound as I listen to his soft assisted breathing. I gather my composure and take his hands once again.
"I have always wondered. . .why me? What made you decide you want me? I am such a plain girl, and a sort of tomboy. You had all of these beautiful girls with perfect hair, perfect body, perfect makeup, perfect everything, throwing themselves at you, and yet you chose the plain looking plain personality. . .me. . ." I smile at him even though I don't think he even realizes that I'm there. "You were becoming such a success, and I was still contemplating what my future held for me. . .I wanted to play soccer professionally, but it wasn't a good dream. . .you on the other hand were going somewhere with your band. You were living your dream. . .and you chose to live it with me."
~*~*~
Looking back it's still surprising
I was sinking, you were rising.
With a look you caught me in mid-air.
~*~*~
I laugh out loud as I realize what I just said. "Not that I mind you picked me. On the contrary, I love the fact that you did." I realize right then how much I love the boy in the bed. Tears prick at my eyes once again. As they fall slowly down my cheeks, I sigh and wipe them away roughly. I need to finish what I'm trying to say. "Although I don't know what I'd do without you," I start again looking down at the suddenly interesting bed sheets. The heart monitor begins to slow its beat and I smile bitterly at it as I continue, "I don't want you to be in pain anymore. . ." I stop as his body seems to realize what I am saying. The heart monitors beats slower to a beat every six or so seconds.
I sniffle and look at his hand clasped so tightly in my own. His strength is gone, and as much as I hate to admit it, he's gone. "Let Go, Koi, just let go. I understand and it's better for you." I whisper to him hoping he hears me.
The beeping continues to slow and I close my eyes shut as the beating slows to a single continuous tone. The sound breaks my heart and I open my eyes looking at his frail form. A sob escapes my mouth as I lose what's left of my composure. A flat line is the worst sound for a loved one to hear. I open my eyes once again and look at his frail form. Now I can see he's dead to the world, but he will never be dead to me.
I smile softly through my tears and I lean over, gently pressing my lips to his forehead. I run my hand through his soft blonde hair and hiss him again. It's hard for me to accept he's gone. I lean over his form, and my mouth pauses at his hear. "Sayonnara Koi," I whisper to the boy I love so much. I kiss him again and my tears fall onto his pale cheek.
~*~*~
Now I know God has his reasons.
But sometimes it's hard to see them.
I awake and find that you're not there.
~*~*~
A sobbing gasp escapes me once again as a doctor appears in the room. He looks at the scene in the room before he reaches to turn off the heart monitor. The same doctor touches my shoulder. I look up and into the face of a familiar doctor. Jyou.
Jyou looks at me sympathetically, and looks crushed himself. "I'm sorry Sora," he whispers choking on his words. I force a smile as he pats my shoulder and leaves, obviously to gather his emotions.
I turn to the still form on the bed. "Aishiteru." I murmur kissing him one last time.
I leave the room, pausing in the doorway to watch a nurse pull a sheet over my boy's handsome face. Goodbye lover.
~*~*~
You found hope in hopeless.
You made crazy sane.
You became the missing link that helped me break my chains
~*~*~
I force myself to walk away from the one on the bed who is no longer in this world. I walk through the plain white hallways, and slowly out to the lobby. Nine faces peek up at me anxiously as I enter.
Taichi stands up quickly along with Takeru. Taichi takes one look at me and already knows. But he still asks, "Is he. . .?" I cannot speak I am so choked with emotion. I can only nod painfully to help him acknowledge it.
~*~*~
And I bless the day I met you.
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on.
~*~*~
Taichi whimpers angrily turning quickly away from me.
Takeru stares straight ahead slumping down in a chair. I wrap my arms around his neck briefly and hug him tightly to myself before I raise my head to look at everyone else. Takari is sobbing quietly into her hands as Mimi wraps an arm around her shoulders, tears silently falling down the older girl's cheeks as she touches her forehead to Kari's right temple sobbing words of comfort.
Koushiro, is looking lost and is staring straight ahead just like Takeru, but he his rubbing Mimi's back in comfort. He doesn't even seem to notice he's actually doing it.
~*~*~
And the good news is I'm better for the time we spent together.
And the bad news is you're gone
~*~*~
Then I turn my attention to the second generation children. Miyako is sobbing loudly into Ken's chest, and the boy genius looks just as crushed. He is holding his girlfriend close, whispering words into her purple hair. No doubt words that tell her it's alright and that he loves her. I must admit I am insanely jealous. I'd give anything to have Matt here to hold me like that. . .to whisper that it's okay and he's there. . .I turn my attention back to the others.
Iori is sitting curled on a chair his head on his knees that are pulled to his chest. . .he's probably crying the poor kid. Daisuke is kneeling in front of Iori. He has his hand on the younger boy's head, stroking the hair in an attempt to comfort the younger one. Daisuke has tears falling from his eyes as well. Daisuke really looked up to the one who's gone.
~*~*~
The bad news is.
You're gone
~*~*~
As I watch the scene by myself, it seems so unreal. He can't be gone. . .what. . .how will we manage? I am vaguely aware of Taichi's arms suddenly going around me. I lean into his embrace finally letting go and sobbing. Takeru joins our hug instantaneously, followed by Takari. It feels like a family. Mimi then approaches with Jyou who had joined our group in mourning.
~*~*~
Mmmmhmmmm
Ohhhhhhhhhh
~*~*~
Daisuke approaches soon afterward with Iori and Koushiro, and they join our hug.
Miyako joins the group without another thought, and hesitantly after Miyako opens her arm for him, Ken joins us as well. We hold each other as we cry; some of us silently some vocally. Some are praying, others saying goodbye to a loved one.
~*~*~
Ohhhhhhhh
You're gooooneee
~*~*~
I smile wistfully as I look up towards heaven where you are no doubt. 'See how much we love you darling?' I say to your spirit. I feel good knowing that I can still talk to you, even though you can't answer me.
Then I close my eyes, saying my final goodbye. I say it aloud so that others can hear and agree with me.
"You're forever in my heart blue eyes. . .you're in everyone else's too. ..We will never forget you," I pause to sob as I am held by my best friends.
"Aishiteru. . . Yamato."
~*~*~
Ohhhhhhhhh
You're gone
~*~*~
He really is so very wonderful. I'm not entirely sure how I ever got along without him. Whenever I am in dark or particularly nasty moods, he knows just what to say or do to pick me right back up. . .Just like now. After a particularly crappy day, here he is, holding me to his muscular chest, his strong arms holding me tight, offering me comfort. All I can do is sigh as I am consoled. These are the times I cherish the most.
I close my eyes sighing once again before I lift my head and gaze into his icy blue eyes. Usually one cannot find any proof that he is indeed a human being with feelings, but that's never the case with me. There's always emotion in those baby blues when I look into them. There's always love, mischief, and other emotions I cannot place lining his eyes. I can get lost in those beautiful orbs forever. . .
Oops! I've been staring. I shake my head blushing and looking down quickly. I hear him chuckle and he reaches out, tucking a strand of my short auburn hair away from my plain face. I shiver, as the touch sends electricity shooting through my body in light, gay waves.
I gaze once again into his handsome face and I sigh contentedly at his loving touch. I smile suddenly at the boy in front of me and he returns the gesture with that lopsided grin he always wears on his face, seemingly just for me. I have to struggle not to squeal as that look drives me crazy for him, and I fall all over again. He knows it too.
"Sora," he says suddenly breaking me from my thoughts, "You're staring again." He informs me so lazily, and he has that cocky smirk on his face that usually makes me giggle. I blush instead. Oops. . .busted again!
"Sorry," I laugh before he pulls me closer to his slender body gazing intensely at me. I know what he's after. I tilt my head up as his soft pouty lips capture my own. I run my own small hands through his short, wild, dirty blonde hair as our kiss intensifies. I sigh into the kiss, wishing this night. . .or even this moment to last forever.
Suddenly, he pulls away as a fit of coughs rack his body, and kill the romantic moment. He turns away and coughs violently into his hand. Such the gentleman isn't he? The coughs don't sound too good to me and I gently touch his back and arm in concern. Motherly almost, I rub his back in soothing circles as his fit seems to diminish.
He turns away again and I can take a hint. I wait for him to turn back to me when he feels his guard is back up and he doesn't look weak anymore. I watch as he opens his hand and glances at it briefly before starting slightly, and withdrawing a handkerchief. He wipes at his hand and replaces the handkerchief smiling sheepishly at me. But it's not the same smile from earlier. This one seems to be forced and his eyes suddenly look sunken. He looks much older than he really is. I am deeply concerned. "Are you alright?" I ask him.
With a small smile, he clears his throat and nods. "Hai Sora, but can we go now? I think I may be coming down with something. . ." he asks guiltily. I smile at him in return.
"Of course," I reply, "Lets go." I turn to walk towards my house and I walk almost thirty feet before I realize he is not next to me. "Hey I thought you wanted to go!" I turn around and he's standing there smiling at me. Shaking his head from his thoughts that are unknown to me, he joins me quickly.
We walk in silence until I notice he's breathing rather heavily. "Are you sure you're alright?" I ask him again.
"Hai," he answers again, although this time he seems more unsure, and distracted.
"Okay," I reply, "because that fit was pretty bad. . . I thought you might keel over and die on me." I laugh at my own joke smiling lightly. But he's not joining me in my gay laughter. Instead, he is staring almost regretfully at the ground.
"Sora. . . we need to talk," he says quietly not meeting my eye.
"Alright," I answer nervously before he pulls me to a bench in the park we were currently walking through. I frown. Talks that start with the phrase, "We need to talk" never turn out good.
We sit in silence for a moment as he pulls at a loose thread on his designer clothes. "I was hoping to not have to tell you this, but then again I didn't' think it was that serious..neither did they.I never dreamed that this could happen. . ." He's rambling. This is not a good sign. He's always calm and collected.
Gently, yet firmly I reach out and grab his hand. "Honey you're rambling," I say smiling at him. He grins back at me touching my cheek gently with his fingertips. Again I feel electricity.
Then finding his lap very interesting he continues. "Sorry babe, well what I'm trying to tell you, Sora is, that. . .you remember how I was gone for a week last month on 'business' for my band. . .well I was really in a. . ." he stops as he looks into my deep brown eyes. Still staring he says quietly, "Sora I was in a hospital running tests. . .I. . ."
~*~*~
I said, "Hello I think I'm broken."
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed.
~*~*~
He looks at me again and begins to stutter. I grab his hand to keep him from stuttering further and to offer him my support. "I. . . I'm. . ." he chokes out the next word. The word that shatters my perfect world that included him. A word that no loved one ever wants to hear about someone they care for. A word that- "dying."
I choke on my breath as my eyes begin to burn with a sensation I am very familiar with, tears. "H. . .how?" I manage to choke out before I begin to sob.
"They don't know," he replies without emotion. I am silent. I don't know what to say in this situation. In my head I am screaming. I'm screaming at God for doing this to me, I'm screaming at the fates that have so wronged me and taken my happiness away from me in one cruel, harsh tug that ends my being. . .i'm screaming at myself because. . .oh dear, my comment!
"I. . . I. . .My comment earlier. . .I'm sorry. . .I had no ide-" he cuts me off.
"Sora you had no idea. . .it's just amazing that it took that comment to make me tell you."
~*~*~
I was tryin to be clever
But for the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead.
~*~*~
"Ho. . .How long do you ha-" again he cuts me off.
"No time," he answers bluntly.
"What do you mean?" I ask shocked and breathless.
"I mean my time was up a long time ago. . .I'm living on stolen time," he answers.
"So any day now?" I whisper brokenly.
"Yes, any day could be my last."
"Do the others know?" I ask referring to the other chosen children.
"No."
"I can't believe you could die on me tomorrow. . ." I whisper trying not to cry again.
"Yes I could," he replies evenly, "but the most likely scenario will be another month or so since I am relatively still in good condition."
It is now that I am aware of the tears running down his cheeks. Him? . . .crying? That's not the boy I know. . .
I think now this is the time I realize how true this all is. I reach out and gently brush away his tears. He looks me in the eye. I see a range of emotions in his eyes. Hurt, anger. . .terror?
"Sora. . ." he whispers, "I am frightened." He admits it freely and that scares me even more. I pull him to me and we cry together on that park bench under the starry night.
~*~*~
You knew all my lines.
You knew all my tricks.
You knew how to heal that pain no medicine can fix.
~*~*~
That was two months ago. Now here I sit, by a hospital bed. A bed that holds my lover in it. He is dead to the world, and to most he is gone. . .but not to me. . .not yet. I am not ready to let go.
~*~*~
p And I bless the day I met you.
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on.
~*~*~
The steady whiz and whirr of the machine to my left almost lulls me to sleep. I do believe that this machine distributes oxygen to his body. I sigh sadly, and pull his frail hand into my own. "I'm still here you know," I say softly to him. My voice is barely above a whisper, as if I think my voice might shatter the very force keeping him spiritually here with me now if I were to talk any louder.
"I can't ask you to stay here with me babe, though I wish it more than anything. I know how painful your life has been. . . in the last few weeks especially. Frequent hospital visits are not expected to be fun. I know you're struggling to hide it, but I'm not blind. I just gave you your space." I pause for a moment gathering my thoughts. "but I did see. Some days you just wanted to give up. I could see it. You wanted to just give up. . .some days I wanted to grant that wish for you. . .I wished for God himself to take you from your pain. . .but now that the time is here, I don't want you to go. . ."
~*~*~
And the good news is I'm better for the time we spent together.
And the bad news is you're gone.
~*~*~
I break off here and drop his hand sobbing heavily into my hands. I feel as if my heart has been shattered. I look to his still form covered with tubes and wires. Oh. . .he doesn't deserve this you know. It is this thought that causes me to break down again.
"What will I do without you? I need you!" I wail. My sobbing gets louder as I hiccup and try to breathe better. A nurse sticks her head in and asks if I'm alright. Of course not! What do you think?! I want to scream and yell at her, but instead I politely ask for a glass of water. She smiles and brings me one. I smile a thank you at her.
Then, I turn back to him. "Do you know how much I need you?" I whisper quietly. I have stopped crying for the moment, which is amazing as I have rarely stopped crying since this whole thing started.
His heart monitor beats softly, and that's the only sound as I listen to his soft assisted breathing. I gather my composure and take his hands once again.
"I have always wondered. . .why me? What made you decide you want me? I am such a plain girl, and a sort of tomboy. You had all of these beautiful girls with perfect hair, perfect body, perfect makeup, perfect everything, throwing themselves at you, and yet you chose the plain looking plain personality. . .me. . ." I smile at him even though I don't think he even realizes that I'm there. "You were becoming such a success, and I was still contemplating what my future held for me. . .I wanted to play soccer professionally, but it wasn't a good dream. . .you on the other hand were going somewhere with your band. You were living your dream. . .and you chose to live it with me."
~*~*~
Looking back it's still surprising
I was sinking, you were rising.
With a look you caught me in mid-air.
~*~*~
I laugh out loud as I realize what I just said. "Not that I mind you picked me. On the contrary, I love the fact that you did." I realize right then how much I love the boy in the bed. Tears prick at my eyes once again. As they fall slowly down my cheeks, I sigh and wipe them away roughly. I need to finish what I'm trying to say. "Although I don't know what I'd do without you," I start again looking down at the suddenly interesting bed sheets. The heart monitor begins to slow its beat and I smile bitterly at it as I continue, "I don't want you to be in pain anymore. . ." I stop as his body seems to realize what I am saying. The heart monitors beats slower to a beat every six or so seconds.
I sniffle and look at his hand clasped so tightly in my own. His strength is gone, and as much as I hate to admit it, he's gone. "Let Go, Koi, just let go. I understand and it's better for you." I whisper to him hoping he hears me.
The beeping continues to slow and I close my eyes shut as the beating slows to a single continuous tone. The sound breaks my heart and I open my eyes looking at his frail form. A sob escapes my mouth as I lose what's left of my composure. A flat line is the worst sound for a loved one to hear. I open my eyes once again and look at his frail form. Now I can see he's dead to the world, but he will never be dead to me.
I smile softly through my tears and I lean over, gently pressing my lips to his forehead. I run my hand through his soft blonde hair and hiss him again. It's hard for me to accept he's gone. I lean over his form, and my mouth pauses at his hear. "Sayonnara Koi," I whisper to the boy I love so much. I kiss him again and my tears fall onto his pale cheek.
~*~*~
Now I know God has his reasons.
But sometimes it's hard to see them.
I awake and find that you're not there.
~*~*~
A sobbing gasp escapes me once again as a doctor appears in the room. He looks at the scene in the room before he reaches to turn off the heart monitor. The same doctor touches my shoulder. I look up and into the face of a familiar doctor. Jyou.
Jyou looks at me sympathetically, and looks crushed himself. "I'm sorry Sora," he whispers choking on his words. I force a smile as he pats my shoulder and leaves, obviously to gather his emotions.
I turn to the still form on the bed. "Aishiteru." I murmur kissing him one last time.
I leave the room, pausing in the doorway to watch a nurse pull a sheet over my boy's handsome face. Goodbye lover.
~*~*~
You found hope in hopeless.
You made crazy sane.
You became the missing link that helped me break my chains
~*~*~
I force myself to walk away from the one on the bed who is no longer in this world. I walk through the plain white hallways, and slowly out to the lobby. Nine faces peek up at me anxiously as I enter.
Taichi stands up quickly along with Takeru. Taichi takes one look at me and already knows. But he still asks, "Is he. . .?" I cannot speak I am so choked with emotion. I can only nod painfully to help him acknowledge it.
~*~*~
And I bless the day I met you.
And I thank God that he let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on.
~*~*~
Taichi whimpers angrily turning quickly away from me.
Takeru stares straight ahead slumping down in a chair. I wrap my arms around his neck briefly and hug him tightly to myself before I raise my head to look at everyone else. Takari is sobbing quietly into her hands as Mimi wraps an arm around her shoulders, tears silently falling down the older girl's cheeks as she touches her forehead to Kari's right temple sobbing words of comfort.
Koushiro, is looking lost and is staring straight ahead just like Takeru, but he his rubbing Mimi's back in comfort. He doesn't even seem to notice he's actually doing it.
~*~*~
And the good news is I'm better for the time we spent together.
And the bad news is you're gone
~*~*~
Then I turn my attention to the second generation children. Miyako is sobbing loudly into Ken's chest, and the boy genius looks just as crushed. He is holding his girlfriend close, whispering words into her purple hair. No doubt words that tell her it's alright and that he loves her. I must admit I am insanely jealous. I'd give anything to have Matt here to hold me like that. . .to whisper that it's okay and he's there. . .I turn my attention back to the others.
Iori is sitting curled on a chair his head on his knees that are pulled to his chest. . .he's probably crying the poor kid. Daisuke is kneeling in front of Iori. He has his hand on the younger boy's head, stroking the hair in an attempt to comfort the younger one. Daisuke has tears falling from his eyes as well. Daisuke really looked up to the one who's gone.
~*~*~
The bad news is.
You're gone
~*~*~
As I watch the scene by myself, it seems so unreal. He can't be gone. . .what. . .how will we manage? I am vaguely aware of Taichi's arms suddenly going around me. I lean into his embrace finally letting go and sobbing. Takeru joins our hug instantaneously, followed by Takari. It feels like a family. Mimi then approaches with Jyou who had joined our group in mourning.
~*~*~
Mmmmhmmmm
Ohhhhhhhhhh
~*~*~
Daisuke approaches soon afterward with Iori and Koushiro, and they join our hug.
Miyako joins the group without another thought, and hesitantly after Miyako opens her arm for him, Ken joins us as well. We hold each other as we cry; some of us silently some vocally. Some are praying, others saying goodbye to a loved one.
~*~*~
Ohhhhhhhh
You're gooooneee
~*~*~
I smile wistfully as I look up towards heaven where you are no doubt. 'See how much we love you darling?' I say to your spirit. I feel good knowing that I can still talk to you, even though you can't answer me.
Then I close my eyes, saying my final goodbye. I say it aloud so that others can hear and agree with me.
"You're forever in my heart blue eyes. . .you're in everyone else's too. ..We will never forget you," I pause to sob as I am held by my best friends.
"Aishiteru. . . Yamato."
~*~*~
Ohhhhhhhhh
You're gone
~*~*~