A/N: Okay so, I just thought of this idea and I have Jif to thank for it. I was helping her out and I thought of this and I figured I might as well write it now. As for Primi Amori, I am still writing it and the next chapter will be up by Wednesday for all those interested and for those of you who haven't read it. Please check it out! As well, songs used are: If You Leave Me Now – Stevie B and Strange & Beautiful – Aqualung. As well this fic goes out to Jif (BubblyGirl23), who was writing her one-shot with me as I wrote this so be sure to check it out. Kelly and Steph who constantly have my back and gimme the feedback I need. AND to Molly, who in some weird way within her rambles inspires me. Love all of you!
Summary: Nathan has met and fallen in love with Haley, but she refuses to let him in because of her history with men. However, she finds Nathan is breaking down her wall piece by piece and against her will, she begins to fall for him, but she'll never admit it. When Nathan becomes tired of swinging his hammer to tear down her wall, will Haley be too late to let him in all the way?
232323
If I were the little man on the outside of her heart, swinging away at it to knock down that stupid wall that she has built so up high, my arms would be dead tired. My name is Nathan Scott and I am in love with Haley James, a difficult woman who refuses to let me in all the way. And quite frankly, I've grown tired of swinging at her heart to tear it down. However, when you're in love, it doesn't matter if your arms are about to fall off, you keep swinging until you get in there. All of you who've been in my position know what I'm talking about. The many obstacles in love and of the heart that we have to face and it's simple to just walk away when things get rough, but that's not me. Me when I hit that "tough" spot, I embrace it. That's how I was raised. You cannot not do something when faced with that tough hand that has been dealt to you. For those of you who are in love, tell me something. Have you ever done anything only for love? Have you ever defied the wind and run against it, just to get to the one you love? Have you ever run breathless for love? Lost the one you loved and then started again? If your answer is yes to any of those questions, I envy you. I envy you because I could never let go of Haley, no matter how stubborn she may be. She's my baby, my rock, my life and I wouldn't change anything about her. I just want so much to set a bomb off in her heart to burst through this stupid barrier that separates her from me. I'm the little man I mentioned earlier. My name is Nathan Scott, I'm 18 years old and this is my story.
March 25th, 2006
I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was a college freshman and was attending a community college not too far from Tree Hill, North Carolina, my hometown. It was Spring Break and somehow, my older brother, Lucas was dragging me down to London. Of all the warm, sunny climates that were paradise, my stupid brother up and decides to go to London for Spring Break. You wanna hear his excuse for why he chose London? The pattering of rain is relaxing and the perfect environment to write. Hey Luke, newsflash BULLSHIT! Anyways, that's in the past. The plane ride down was hell. Not only did I have to sit in the aisle seat, which I hate, the stewardess "accidentally" spilled hot coffee all over my pants and did I mention in the crotch area? Yeah so you could imagine the ride I had. I was already pissed with Lucas for dragging me there with him in the first place, but my anger increased when we hit turbulence. I hate turbulence. Not that I'm scared or anything, I just hate when a large aircraft is a million miles above the earth's surface, shaking like a madwoman. I mean c'mon, let's be honest, you never knew when a screw will fall off the plane and then the next thing you know the wing is broken and on fire. Sorry, I got carried away there. Anyways, we landed and went straight to our hotel.
The hotel smelled foul. I remember the words "what the fuck is that stench" escaping my mouth. Luke placed his luggage on one of the two beds that were in the room and it sank into the mattress. I raised my eyebrows in shock and couldn't help the laughter that escaped my mouth.
"Shut up!"
"Dude, that is your bed. I call this one." I pointed to the other bed and fell onto it. Funnily enough, the sun was out.
CRAAACK!
I had spoken too soon. Within 5 minutes of me thinking that thought, it had started to rain. I gazed at the clock that sat in its spot on the small night table between Lucas' bed and mine. It was almost 6:00 in the evening and we had been in this stupid hotel room since we arrived. If I was gonna be in London wit the rain, I wanted to at least soak up some local colour. I let out an exasperated sigh and looked over at Lucas who was typing away, frantically on his laptop. He ignored me, but I could tell that he heard me because he was getting irritated. I let out another sigh and he snapped.
"WHAT?"
"I'm boooored."
"You sound like Rachel."
"Shut up. Dude, we've been in here all day. It's almost dark out and we're 18. Dude, we can drink legally here. C'mon let's go to a bar or something."
Lucas sighed. He looked at me with annoyance. He closed the flap on his laptop and stood. He walked to the door of the bathroom and looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. It was always difficult to read Lucas. He was never one to be direct and I hated that. If people were to tell me that they hate me, for the love of God and my sanity, just tell me. Don't pretend to like me and then soak my clothes in urine…oh yeah, it's happened. I was never Mr. Popularity in High School, but that doesn't mean I don't have my faults. I have plenty, which will be seen later. Lucas exited the bathroom with his hair done and he looked at me.
"Is your whiny ass ready?"
I jumped from my spot on my bed and the pair of us headed out the door.
232323
This bar was frigging loud. There were people that were much too old to even be in a bar. I swear that the man sitting next to me was easily over 80 years old. He smiled at me and nodded his head as if to say hello. His teeth were rotting and I took a seat elsewhere, near Lucas, who had been chatting up storm with some random girl. She was a brunette and her smile could light up a room. I walked over and interrupted their conversation. She looked between us and admitted to wondering if we were lovers because of the disgusted look on my face and the sense of closeness that Lucas and I had shared. She giggled after we informed her that we were, in fact, brothers. She nodded her head and I found out from Lucas that Brooke Davis was from back home. She grew up in Tree Hill herself and was on her own Spring Break with one of her friends from back home.
"Brooke, I swear if another guy slaps my ass and then I turn around and you're not there, I will throw you into the sea of horny men."
I turned to the angry voice and my heart stopped. She was a vision in blue. Her honey blonde hair fell down her back and swayed as she moved. She made my soul vibrate, either that or my heart was reawakened and pounded so loudly and quickly that my body shook. I never remembered feeling like this. It was like I was reborn, somehow. She hadn't even spoken to me and I could feel my body fill with excitement. I could feel the sweat forming in my hands and wiped the moisture onto my pants. Brooke squealed with excitement as she saw this girl, who had stolen my heart, come over to her.
"TUTORGIRL! Meet some new people. This is Lucas."
Lucas held his hand out and when the girl touched it, I felt myself rage with jealousy. I hadn't even met this girl, I didn't even know her name, and she was only shaking Lucas' hand, and I was jealous. I wanted Brooke to introduce her to me so badly.
"Hi Lucas, I'm Haley."
Haley…wow. How beautiful is that? It seemed to fit her face. She smiled as she shook Lucas' hand and she captivated me even more with her smile. I took a deep breath, preparing for Brooke to introduce me to her.
We were not just lovers
We were not just friends boy
The time we shared was not a simple love affair, no
We learned about each other the joys and pain of love baby
There is no one that could ever love me better no
Brooke shrieked in excitement as she heard a song come onto the sound system.
"Sorry Nathan, but I just gotta dance to this song. Broody come dance with me."
Brooke grabbed Lucas' hand and dragged him away from the two of them onto a small piece where a few people had got up to dance to the music. Haley sat beside me and pointed to me.
"Let me guess, Nathan."
She said my name and I smiled, like an idiot. I shook my head and coughed to cool myself. She held out her hand and I took it in my own, already feeling a spark.
"Yeah. Haley right?"
She nodded and smiled. Her chocolate brown eyes captivated me. I decided to stir up a conversation.
"So are you from Tree Hill like Brooke?"
"Yeah. She dragged me down here with her. She said that the rain would be so romantic when we met hot English boys who could show us around."
She giggled and it was beautiful, but I couldn't get the fact that she was down there to be with the guys. I didn't want her to be with the guys.
If you leave me now girl
I'll close my eyes and I'll just lay down and cry
Why would you leave me now girl
After all the things that we've been through
You say you're leaving me now baby
And when you're gone
What am I suppose to do
And if you wanna come back to me
I think you should know, that I'll be loving to you
I wanted her to be with me. Some call it love at first sight, others call it lust at first sight. Me personally, never cared about falling in love. It was never something that I planned on doing. To me, if it happened great, and if it didn't oh well. Now, I'm not saying that I was in love with Haley as soon as I met her, but she captivated me in ways no other woman had. I was drawn to her and her brown eyes, her giggle, her outrage and her bewitching smile.
"Any luck with finding those guys?" Please say no.
"No. Are you kidding me? I'm not that person. I can't have a one-week romance in a foreign country. I refuse."
I smiled and shook my head. She looked at me.
"What?"
"Haley…this is the part where you'd say your last name."
She smiled. "James."
"Haley James, you are not like other women." I saw the look on her face, as if she were offended. I quickly wiped the smirk off of my face. "No, no I mean like. Most women would be thrilled to have a foreign guy show them around. I always remembered my mother say that she would love to go somewhere and meet a foreign guy. I guess I always believed in the stereotype that women fantasize about the foreign love affair. I'm sorry if I've offended you."
I looked down at the bottle of beer in my hand and took a sip of it and when I looked up at Haley she was looking at me intently. She held her chin in her hand and I looked at her, scared.
"What?"
She sighed and placed her elbows on the table and let her arms rest on each other.
"You see Nathan, I don't want the foreign guy. You're right, there are women who do want the foreign affair. Take Brooke for example." She nodded to Brooke and Lucas who were dancing. "Brooke is the kind of girl who'd want that one week with the perfect foreign boy to show her around. Now, don't get me wrong, Brooke wants the whole marriage thing, but not now. Right now, Brooke prefers the whole macho muscle guy. She's looking to have fun and who isn't? She's 18, why not have fun? Me, on the other hand, I can't have any distractions. And if I were to get distracted, I'd want the sweet guy, the helpless romantic okay? That's my fantasy. Not the foreign guy."
I smiled and sighed in relief. Well, if sweet and romantic was what she wanted, that's who'd she get. I felt the need, the want to please her. I was about to speak again, but Brooke and Lucas had come back to the table. I groaned in annoyance and sighed and took another sip of my beer. Brooke had to sit in between Haley and I. I looked to Haley and noticed her looking back at me. I smiled and winked. She returned the wink and I felt my heart flutter. Okay so what? I can be real cheesy, so sue me. Trust me, if you knew this girl, you'd know why.
The rest of the night went rather well. I remembered one more conversation Haley and I had because Brooke wanted to dance again and Lucas couldn't say no to his new crush. I could tell by the way he'd always look over to her and if she stood, he'd be ready to dance with her again.
"So where are you guys staying?"
I told her where we were bunking for the week and to my surprise, she was staying there as well. I silently thanked God and returned to our conversation. I watched as the words formed on her luscious lips and I had never paid so much attention to detail or a girl in my entire life. She had me mesmerized and I just wanted to do anything for her.
"So, I was thinking about what you said before, about your fantasy not being the foreign guy?"
"Yeah."
"I know that you want the sweet guy, but what about the guy you just met in a bar, who happens to be from back home and wants to hang out with you tomorrow?"
Haley smiled at me and then she said the one word that made want to whoop and scream.
"Sure."
232323
That was then. Now I stand here on the beach back home and it's been an entire 4 months since our time in London. We just became friends and hung out with each other everyday. I remember the last day that we were in London because it was my favourite day. It was raining. The weather had grown on me and I had come to like it. The rain reminded me of Haley and that reminder brought a smile to my face. Those little water drops were like music to my ears and so was Haley. Their sound just seemed to fit her perfectly, soft and delicate.
Flashback
"So tomorrow we go back home."
"I kinda don't want to."
We stopped, and she turned to me with a look of confusion on her face. I felt the water droplets begin to fall on my face and saw them fall on her. She was a sight for soar eyes. She turned to face me.
"Why not?"
"Well, that means I have to go back to reality and this week with you has just been a dream. At least it feels like it. Everyday I woke up this week, I had a smile on my face and it was because of you. Knowing that I'd be able to see you and be near you. I won't lie it's the happiest I've been in a while. I know you live in Tree Hill and I'd love to keep in touch because I want more days with you. When we say good night to each other after we go out to dinner or something, it pains me that I have to leave you because I just want to be near you all the time. I don't want to be away from you."
I reached for her hand and brought it to my chest, letting her feel the pounding organ that lay behind my ribs. The smile from her face dropped as she felt my heart beating in my chest. It raced quickly, too quickly for anyone normal. But, I wasn't normal and I didn't want to be normal. I wanted to be everything she wanted, everything she needed.
"You make my heart race Haley James."
She pulled her hand out of mine and stepped closer to me. My heart beat faster and louder. She wiped the water from her face, for the rain was pouring harder now. I took a deep breath and tried to look anywhere, but her face. I failed at that. My eyes landed right onto hers and I didn't even notice that she was standing a mere inch in front of me. Her arms went around my neck and she rested her face in the crook of my neck. She was hugging me. A small part of me was upset that she didn't kiss me, but I had to be patient. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Then it hit me, if she didn't kiss me, did that mean she just saw me as a friend? I had to let her know that when we got home, I wanted the chance to fall in love with her. A part of me was yelling at me that I had already fallen, but another part denied it. I had only known her a few days, could I have already fallen? I had to kiss her. I turned my head and placed a gentle kiss on her temple and placed a hand in her hair, caressing her wet locks. She pulled back and looked up at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and then brought my hand to her face. I cupped her small cheek in my large hand and caressed her face with my thumb. I looked into her brown orbs that had stared back at my blue eyes. She was still close to me. I leaned down and placed my chapped lips on her soft moist ones. Her face was met with my other hand cupping her other cheek. I deepened it and I could feel her lightly bite my bottom lip. I couldn't help it. I had to moan. It was the single, greatest kiss I had ever experienced. I thought to before, it was absolute now; I had fallen in love with Haley James.
232323
Four months ago. That's all that was. That's what separated now and then. And the only thing that separated Haley and I was that stupid wall. That was the first and last kiss I had ever shared with her. You have absolutely no idea how much I want to do it again. I've seen her in town. She works with Lucas' mom at her café. I sometimes go down there and stay with her to keep her company while she closes up. We've hung out, but she's never spoken of that fateful day, that fateful kiss that we shared in the kiss. As a matter of fact, when we got back home and found her in the café, she acted as if nothing had happened that day. As if her lips hadn't caressed mine feverishly. I could tell that she wanted it as much as I did and she pulled away. She didn't let me in. And I had no idea why and it killed me. She has me wrapped around her little finger. I live for her and she knows it. She knows it. She's sweet and she stuns me all the time, with her quirky comments and here's something to add to the list. She sings. And beautifully I might add. I just want to know why she refuses to let me in. I continued to stand on the beach in my jogging clothing and look out over the water, picking up any rocks that are around and throw them. I watch as they jump across the surface of the water. If I could be with her right now, I'd tell her everything I feel for her and how I didn't just want that one-week with her. I look out to the water and I picture myself in it and it's painful because to know that Haley James isn't mine, is like drowning in the big blue. I continue to jog up the beach with Haley on my mind. She had the day off today, so I know where I'll be heading after I shower when I get back to my house.
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
I park my car on Haley's driveway. Sure, I'm trying to break the wall around her heart and I'm in love with her, but she doesn't know that. I've tried kissing her again, but somehow I always chicken out, afraid of what she'd say if I did admit it. But, let's be honest ladies, if a guy spends all of his time with you instead of his friends or another girl, you'd know what that meant right? Right? Please tell me I'm right. I exit my car wearing a pair of black jeans and a light blue buttoned up shirt. I have Haley's favourite little purple flower in my hand. I walked up the steps to her front door and knocked on it. I took a deep breath and wait for the door to open. And when it did, I was met with my angel looking back at me with a fake smile on her face.
I walked into the house and kept my gaze on her. Something was wrong and I could tell. We walked into her living room where she had a movie paused. She sat down and resumed the film. I sat next to her and put my arm across her shoulders. She cuddled into me and I let out a breath that I had been holding in. She draped an arm across my abs and I tried so hard to concentrate on the move and not on her. She still had that sad look on her face and she was trying to cover it up with a smile. I knew her. She couldn't fool me. I looked down at her, trying, hoping that she'd look up at me. I held my gaze on her. If I were Superman, I'm certain that my laser vision would have somehow activated. But, my favourite superhero as a kid was and always will be Batman. Right, that's the part to focus on, you idiot.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.
I kept my focus on her and she finally looked up at me. Her eyes became worried.
"What's wrong Nathan?"
I leaned forward and grabbed the remote off of the table, pausing the movie. I sighed and turned to her. I grabbed her hands in mine and looked into her eyes and spoke.
"You know that I'll always be here for you Hales right? I mean you know that I would never leave you right?"
"Nathan, I know that. What's wrong are you okay?"
"No. No Hales, I'm not okay. I sit here and I see you and you're not happy. And it hurts me to see that."
I raise her hand to my lips and place a lingering kiss her soft knuckles.
"I wanna be here for you Hales."
"You are…"
"Haley, obviously I'm not because you never let me in. You always pull away from me. Anytime I try to get closer to you, you refuse to let me. And I don't know why Haley. I've tried so hard to break down this wall that you have around your heart because I just want to get inside it. I want to get in there because I love you. And you tell me that what you're hiding is nothing, but how far deep are you in this lie that you're telling me? I want to be there for you Haley, but it's hard when you won't let me in."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying here I am. I want you. And not just as a friend. I want all of you, forever. I'm in this for the long run, Hales. When we first met, you told me that you wanted the sweet guy, the hopeless romantic. Well, here he is right in front of you."
I was pouring my heart out to her. I didn't know what else to say. I licked my lips to moisturize them because the sight of Haley made my lips go numb and dry. Then I did the one thing I had been dying to do for the past four months.
Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...
Before she could do anything, I quickly leaned forward and caught my lips with hers. I held her head in my hands so that she wouldn't pull away. And in that one kiss, I let everything that I'd been holding in for the past four months. She was kissing me back. It was then I knew that she had been going through the same pain that I had, with a few alterations in her case. I nibbled on her top lip, sucking the moisture from them, wanting to taste everything that she had. Her lips on mine felt right, why couldn't she just give into it? I felt her tongue against my lips and I heard a moan escape her mouth. That had set me off. I forced myself forwards and soon I was on top of her, trying so hard not to crush her. I wanted to be careful with her. I felt her hands on my back and they ran a course up to the center of my back. I wanted to be closer to her. Something told me that I wasn't done swinging my hammer though. Air was becoming an issue, but I didn't want to break away. I couldn't break away from her. I was afraid that if I did, she'd push me away. But, I had to do what I had to do. If I wanted her, I had to prove to her that I wanted her, Haley, not her body or her lips, although I did very much enjoy her lips.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.
I unlatched my lips from hers and placed butterfly kisses on her lips, allowing her and myself to breathe. I brought my hands to her face and supported my weight with my elbows. I brought my lips to her eyes and kissed each one and then rested my forehead against hers.
"Nathan."
"Don't Hales. Just…just let me be here with you okay?"
I am the world's biggest idiot. I pull away from her, all the way and stand up. I scratch my head and she stands up to be in front of me. I take a deep breath and let it out. My hands are on my hips and I'm staring at her. She walked over to me and placed her hands on my chest. She had to do that right? Didn't she know what she did to me? All she had to do was playfully slap me and she'd have my heart racing wildly.
"What is it Nathan?"
I grabbed onto her hands and held them in mine. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I looked at her through my glossy vision. Then it hit me. She comes looking for me and then she surrenders her kiss to me. And maybe it's my fault that she does or maybe it's hers. And life, what is it? Is it everything or is it nothing? Either way, I know one thing is for sure and certain. I want Haley James in mine and I want her as my wife. I want us to have little kids running around and having us want beat our heads. But, I don't know if I want it if she doesn't let me in.
"Do you want me, Haley?"
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah...
She remained silent. I looked at her as she bit her bottom lip. There she went again, pulling away and not letting me in. I had received my answer and then I did the stupidest thing I had ever done in my life. I walked away. I left her there and left her house. I shut the door behind me and what I didn't hear was what she told me years later. She fell to her knees and began to cry.
232323
A week later, I found myself outside her house again. I parked on the street and put my head to steering wheel. This was the longest I've ever been away from her since we knew each other. I wanted to be wit her. She had to have known that. I had gone to her house on that day, hoping that I could break that wall from around her heart. I hung my head and took a deep breath. I looked to her front door and saw her there, arguing with some guy I had never seen before. Then, a fistful of jealousy raged throughout my body. I saw this guy yelling at her, tears in her eyes. But, the Haley I knew and loved came out and yelled back at him. A small smile appeared on my face. I got out of the car and headed towards her front door. I was within a few meters of the door when I heard the assholes voice.
'C'mon Hales. You know you still want me."
"I said to leave. It's because of you I can't be happy anymore, why the hell would I go back to you?"
"You don't mean it. Besides I'm up for a little reunion."
The idiot was coming towards her, trying to put his paws on my Haley. I started to move faster, but she pushed him off of her. She was a tough one.
"Get off of me! You don't get it do you? I'm in love with someone else and because of you, he'll never know. I can never let him in all the way because of how much you hurt me. I want you to leave Mark. And leave me alone."
I heard that last part and took off in a full jog. I felt like I could lift a million weights with one hand for how jovial I was. I slowed down when I got to her front door and walked up the steps. My eyes were only on her and I pushed past the idiot who disrespected her. I reached out for her and saw her smile when she saw me.
"Hey angel, sorry I'm late."
I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me and kissed her long and softly. Her gorgeous lips caressed mine and I massaged hers with my own. One of my hands caressed her face and my eyes were shut tightly, loving the feeling of her lips on mine. I pulled away from her when I realized that we had that pervert watching us. I, hesitantly, pried my lips away from Haley's and turned to "Mark."
"Who the hell are you?"
"I could ask you the same question."
"I'm Nathan, Haley's boyfriend now who the hell are you?"
Mark looked back at me, anger in his eyes. My arm was around Haley's waist and she had hers across my torso. Mark remained silent.
"Are you serious Haley? Him? This the guy you're oh so in love with? The guy's a fag."
"Leave right now Mark."
"Haley, c'mon…"
I stepped in between the two, putting Haley behind me to protect her.
"I believe Haley asked you to leave."
"No. I don't want to. I had every intention of coming here today and getting her to be with me."
"She said to leave."
"No!"
This idiot just wasn't getting it. How many times did he have to be told before he did something? I looked at Haley who, I could tell, was petrified of the guy. It didn't take long before I had lost my temper and with one swift motion, my fist had connected with the guy's face. He winced in pain and I shook my hand. It had been a while since I had come into any contact with someone's jaw and it stung.
"What the hell?!"
"She said to leave."
Mark was getting up and moving backwards. He bolted into a run and I hadn't even seen if he had wet his pants because as soon as he bolted, I turned my attention to Haley. Her arms went around my waist and she hugged me. I hugged her back and she pulled away.
"Are you okay?"
I was so concerned for her wellbeing.
"Yeah I'm fine."
She must have seen my knuckles because she shrieked a little bit and brought my right hand to her face. She grabbed my left hand and brought me into the house. She led us to her bathroom and she searched her bathroom for alcohol and gauze. When she found it, she turned on the tap, took my right hand and let it run under the cool water, cleaning my knuckles of the blood that trickled down my hand. She was careful and wiped my hand with a towel, trying to get rid on the dried blood on my hand. She turned off the water and sat us on the cold floor of the bathroom. She put a little bit of rubbing alcohol on the wound. I winced in pain, but it soon subsided as she wrapped my hand in gauze.
"Is he the reason you wouldn't let me in?"
She looked up at me and answered my question with a nod.
"What happened?"
She sighed and looked at me as she continued to wrap the gauze around my hand.
"He, tried to force himself on me, but was unsuccessful. He won't be able to have children because of me."
She finished wrapping the gauze around my hand and stood up, gathering anything that she had taken out and began to put them in their rightful places.
"Were you in love with him?"
"Yes."
It stung to hear those words coming from her mouth, that I wasn't her first love. She was mine, but I suppose that's how life is. It's not always fair. I stood up quietly and walked over to her. I stood behind her as she put things away. I was struggling with the words that I wanted to tell her. I slipped my hands into my pockets and felt something. I pulled it out and noticed that it was the ring that I had gotten her for her birthday. Her birthday was…oh, right the next day. I smiled at it and looked at the engraving that I had done for her. I love you, 03/25/06. It was the day that we met. I had planned on asking her to be my girlfriend, but my emotions had bet me to it. I closed my fist, the ring inside it and she turned around to face me. Our faces were so close that I could feel her hot breath on my face.
"Do you really think that I would stoop that low Haley?"
"No."
"Then wh-"
"I was scared to let you in Nathan. You're everything I envisioned in my dream guy and when he became a reality, I was scared because that's how Mark used to be. Then something snapped. For the longest time I couldn't forget what he did to me. And then you happened. And fell, so hard and fast and I ran and I shouldn't have pushed you away. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. You are nothing like Mark. I always look for you Nathan and you're always there. And I'm so sorry for not letting you see my vulnerable side. I spent the rest of my school year thinking of you and wanting you. Ever since you kissed me in London, I've thought of nothing but you. I've thought of nothing, but your lips on mine."
I stopped her mouth by placing my finger on her lips. She was crying and I smiled. It was time to put the hammer down. I had done it. She had let me in. I, Nathan Scott, had managed to break down Haley James' walls and I couldn't be happier. I grazed my thumb across her bottom lip. We were still so close.
"I love you, Nathan Scott."
That set me off. I drove my lips into hers and my world was finally whole. Her arms went around my shoulders and I felt her grab fistfuls of my shirt, like she was hanging onto me for dear life.
"I love you too, Haley James."
She smiled at me and then quickly placed her lips on mine again. She walked us out of her bathroom, which led straight into her room. I closed the door behind us and we waddled over to her bed and tumbled onto it. It was the happiest day of my life. I felt her hands moving underneath my shirt, the touch of her slender fingers running up the side of my body was enough for all of my blood to rush south. I broke my lips away from hers and moved down to her neck, placing hot, wet kisses along her neckline. She grabbed onto my shirt, trying to calm herself, but the excitement was just too much for the both of us. I sucked on her pulse point, leaving my mark and soon, felt her flipping us over so that she was on top of me. I remember puling away from her, just to look at her entrancing face. She kissed me again and then we lay together.
232323
I never gave her the ring that night. That ring was used for another occasion. Still her birthday, but this time, it had a whole new meaning. We were at my house. We had just returned from our date. I had taken her out for her birthday and we decided to go back to my house to watch a movie. It was what she wanted. And what she wanted, she got. No one was home. My parents were divorced and so I lived with my mom. She was gone for the weekend on business. We were in my room, getting ready to watch the movie, when Haley had to use the bathroom. I saw it as the perfect opportunity. I grabbed the ring from my sock drawer and stood in the middle of the room, waiting for her return, my heart racing in my chest. She walked in and smiled at me. I pulled her to me and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"You want your birthday present?"
She squealed and nodded her head vigorously. I had to laugh.
"Okay, turn around."
"What?"
"Just do it."
She obliged and turned around. When she did, I got down on one knee and pulled the ring out of my pocket and opened the small box. I took a deep breath.
"Okay, turn around."
She did and I saw the tears forming in her perfect eyes. The shocked look on her face made me smile.
"Haley, over the past year, I've learned so much about life and love and I have you to thanks for it. And even if I could take back all of the bad stuff, I wouldn't because it brought us here, this moment. And I know I'll never have to ask God for anything because I have you in my life and you're all I'll ever need. You're all I'll ever want. I'll always love you and I'll always protect you, always and forever. Please, do me the honour of becoming my wife? Marry me Haley."
She stood there, mouth slightly agape and tears falling down her face. I was so scared that she'd say no.
"Now, would be the time to say something."
She walked closer to me and pulled me up, off of my knees. She licked her lips and placed them on mine in a mind-boggling kiss. She smiled into my lips and I could feel it. I muttered against her lips.
"Is that a yes?"
She cupped my face in her hands and muttered a yes in between her kisses. I pulled away from her and lifted her up with one arm as I pumped my fist into the air.
"YES!"
I placed her down and then slipped the ring on her finger. It was the same ring I got her, except I modified it. I had a princess cut diamond placed on the white-gold band. I slid it onto her left hand and kissed her. It was getting heated. I felt her hands roam down to the front and she began to unbutton my white shirt. She tossed us backwards onto my unmade bed and she lay on top of me, getting the buttons undone. I slipped my hands under her shirt and caressed the hot flesh. She finished my unbuttoning my shirt and I tore the kiss.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Hales."
"I know Nathan, I've never done this before."
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Sure."
"Neither have I."
She looked at me and smiled.
"Really?"
"Yes. You're my first and only, angel."
Her smile grew and she collided her mouth with mine. She tore my shirt off and tossed it to the floor and I did the same wit hers. My pants were tighter now and she giggled when she saw me up. I smiled and kissed her neck while she worked on getting my pants off. I unclasped her black, lacy bra and tossed aside, leaving me to work on her jeans. I flipped us over and worked on getting her pants off. They slid off and I took her in. I started at her calf and placed soothing kisses all the way up her leg. I could tell that she felt me getting closer to her inner thighs when I heard her moan. I kissed her stomach and soon, I felt her hands in my hair, pulling my up to her and she pressed our lips together. I slid my tongue into her mouth and heard her moan. She tore off my boxers and they landed in a pile on the other side of the room. I sat up, straddling her and with a careful hand, slid her panties off. I watched her bite her bottom lip and placed myself at her entrance.
"Hales, if I hurt you, tell me okay?"
She kissed me and nodded. I entered her, slowly. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I loved her. I looked at her and saw a small tear rolling down her face.
"Are you okay Hales?"
She nodded and I brought my lips to hers, hoping to ease her pain. Then, I began to move, slowly. The friction between us was heavenly. I felt myself being ready to be released, but I wasn't sure if he was.
"Nathan."
She moaned my name and that enough for me. My breathing increased as hers did. She licked her lips and bit down on her bottom one, trying not to scream. It was useless.
"Faster."
I did as I was told. I placed kisses along her neck and across her face and finally on her lips. Our tongues collided and battled each other for dominance. I thrust in and out of her. She screamed my name and it sent me over the edge.
"Harder."
I latched our lips together and waited for her. She was ready and so was I. I let go and she screamed in pleasure. I felt my release and being one with her was heaven. I was soon emptied inside of her and kissed her lips one more time before rolling off of her. We lay beside each other and she soon moved and placed her head on my chest. She grabbed a hold of my hand and played with our fingers.
"Wow."
"I'll say."
I looked down at her and kissed her lips. She smiled up at me. I don't remember ever being so happy.
232323
Until today. I turned my head to view the back of the church. Today is May 6th, 2008 and I am marrying the love of my life. I'm looking at her walking down the aisle in her white gown, even though we both know it shouldn't be white, but no one has to know that. I smile at her and she's smiling back at me. My heart's racing and I laugh at the thought. She always did that. Her and her father, Jimmy, stop in front of the stairs. I walk down to meet them and Jimmy kisses Haley's cheek. She gives me her hand and I walk us up the steps to the Alter. I turn to face her as she gives Brooke her bouquet and then, finally she faces me. I mouth an I love you to her. She smiles as she mouths one back to me.
With her hands she comes and looks for me, then she holds me tight. Slowly, she releases me, slowly she holds me, slowly she looks for me. Maybe it's my fault or maybe it's hers and so I remain wondering. And they call it love.
A/N: PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!!