Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion
Rated: K
Summary: Rei II's thoughts during the battle against the Sixteenth angel.
(Start fic)
I have always been told that I was replaceable. It is a fact that I have accepted since I came to life four years ago.
Now that I think about it through this pain, I never felt it odd that I have only been four years old, but had a body ten years older than my actual age.
It seems odd to me now.
I do not understand why this is so, although I suspect that the thought came to me after having this blue angel of light embed itself in Unit Zer… no, my abdomen.
I can already hear the angel speaking to my mind, questioning my existence, and the pain of loneliness that I feel.
A feel the drop of water fall on my legs as I open my eyes…
Am I…crying?
I do not understand why I am crying.
…Do I fear death?
There is no reason for me to fear death. I am replaceable. Commander Ikari will just activate the Third if I die.
It cannot be concern for the people that I would leave behind if I die, as there will be a third Ayanami Rei…
Ikari-kun!
The commander has just canceled the freeze on Unit One and sent Ikari-kun out to battle. I see the angel react, the glowing tentacle of energy speeding off towards the purple Evangelion Unit, intent on fusing itself with it as well.
Do I wish to become one with Ikari-kun?
I have always felt an odd familiarity with Ikari-kun. It is something that I could never place. All I know is that whatever the feeling is, it made me want to be closer to him.
Is this the emotion called love? Or are my feelings for him lust?
No, those feelings are not lust, but I cannot place them.
Unit One dodged the tentacle of energy, but it is getting ready for another strike at him.
I know what I have to do. I grab and begin the self-destruct process for Unit Zero.
"Rei, get out of there!" I hear Major Katsuragi's voice shout over the communication links.
I told her that I cannot leave Unit Zero, or the A.T. Field will cease to be.
I see the face of Commander Ikari,
I suddenly feel an odd emotion; I believe that it is worry.
And for once in my life, I know why I am feeling that way.
For I wonder if Ikari-kun will know that this doll has been replaced.
(End fic)
Author's Notes:
I really hope that I got Rei II in character here. I think that I did, but with a character like Rei, you can have a hard figuring out what goes on in her head.
Other authors make a point that Shinji finds some sense of familiarity with Rei, but no one ever mentions that it could work both ways. Shinji could seem like someone that Rei was supposed to know her entire life, or he could just remind her of his father.