You Won't Get a Lemon
By CalAbra
Disclaimer: I own nothing
AN: very AU and OOC (especially N); NH are in their early 20s; entirely nonsensical (to accompany my other equally nonsensical AU drabbles …)
The car was a piece of crap. There was just no nice way to put it: It sucked. The rearview mirror was crooked. The trunk wouldn't shut all the way. The roof had a dent the size of a small sauce pan. The air conditioning only worked on cold days and the engine rumbled in protest on every single ride.
"So what you do think, little lady?" Dan Scott asked, smoothing his greasy moustache. To say he wasn't the epitome of slimey used car salesmen would be like calling the car in question a fine racing Ferrari.
"Well," Haley James haltingly began. "It's not really much of anything, is it?" Just looking at the mustard yellow jallopy of an automobile made her button nose wrinkle in disgust.
"You also don't have much of anything to offer, now do you?" Dan rudely retorted. "Beggars can't be chosers, honey."
"No, I guess not," Haley surrendered with a sigh. "If this is the best you've got that's within my budget." Another sigh. "I'll take it."
"Great," Dan said, clapping his hands together. "Let's get the paperwork taken care of and send you on your way, eh?"
"Ahhhh!" Haley screamed as she saw a dark figure crouched near her car in the driveway.
The figure froze.
"I can see you," Haley said loudly.
The figure quickly jumped behind a bush. Rustle rustle.
"I can still see you," Haley continued. She dropped her bag of trash on the pavement and threatened, "You better tell me what's going on before I call the cops on you!"
"No!" came the muffled response. "Don't do that!"
"I'll do it," Haley said with false courage, nevermind the fact that she left her cell phone in the apartment. "What do you want? My car? Look buddy, this bad boy has definitely seen better days and unless you're just stealing for practice, I'd move it along."
"I don't want your car," came the muffled voice.
Great. Even robbers don't want my crapass car. Haley tried again, "Are you armed?"
"No."
"Alright. Then come out here. Nice and easy, arms raised."
"No."
"You're not really in any position to negotiate right now. You're in my driveway. If I call the cops right now, none of this looks good for you."
"Fine, I'll come out but don't call the cops, okay?"
"I'll consider it if you get your ass out here in the next three seconds."
Shuffle shuffle. The cloaked figure emerged. His face was shadowed by the dark baseball cap covering his hair. He wore a black long-sleeved t-shirt and black jeans. Even his sneakers were black with a red Nike swoosh.
Oh man, this dude could easily take me down. "Keep those hands up," Haley demanded with another dose of false confidence.
"I know how this looks, but this is a huge misunderstanding," the man explained.
"What? So you know that this looks like a standard B and E? Good job," Haley sarcastically retorted.
The man shook his head. "I'm not breaking and entering. Promise! I'm here to help, actually."
"Really now? Help with what? Help with stealing? Help with scaring people half to death?" Haley responded. The bag of trash was long forgotten now as it sat by her feet.
The man dropped his arms and took a step into the light, showing off his beautifully chiseled face for the first time. "I'm here to help you, Haley," the man tried explaining once more.
Holy wha the what? He's so hot! He's so deranged! So hot! He's going to kill me! "Ahhhhhh!" Haley yelled. Where were the nosy neighbors when you needed them? Why was no one running out here to save her from this stalker psycho?
"What? What's wrong?" the man frantically asked.
"Get away!" Haley yelled. "How do you know my name?"
"Haley, calm down" the man pleaded.
"How do you know where I live? I'm going to die. I'm going to die!" Haley cried. Seriously, where the hell was snoopy Mrs. Pickywicky with her emergency whistle?
"Stop it," the man shushed, reaching out a hand in an attempt to smother her noise.
"You're not going to die. I'm not going to hurt you. I've said it a million time now, I'm here to help."
"How the hell are you going to help me?" Haley demanded in between sobs of snot and tear. "You're here to kill me and then you're going to stuff me in the trunk, except that the trunk doesn't even close all the way. Why me?"
A combination of sobbing and wailing ensued.
"I've been the one fixing your car at nights," the mystery figure rushed out. Who knew this petite blonde had such a set of lungs on her? She should totally do karoake night down at his mother's all-age club.
"What?" Haley asked incredulously. "What are you talking about? My car? You're not trying to steal my car?"
"Hell no," the man vehemently said. "I don't want your car, that scrap fest."
"Hey now." Haley frowned. It wasn't worth much, but it was hers' all the same.
"Look, first of all, I'm Nathan," the man introduced. He held out his hand for a shake. Seeing Haley's reluctance, he snatched her hand before she could step back and encased it in his. "Nathan Scott."
"Am I supposed to know you or something?" Haley asked. She knew she should take her hand back from this car thief psycho, but it felt so right. So warm, so strong, so soft ... sigh ... focus, Haley!
"Scott?" Nathan asked. "As in Dan Scott's Dealership?"
"What?" Haley looked puzzled. "You're from the dealership? Wow, this is pretty thorough service. It's just a beat-up used car. I didn't even pay that much for it."
"No," Nathan said with annoyance. This cute girl was just not getting it. "I don't do this for everyone. I wanted to do this for you."
"Do what?"
"Do this. Fix your car for you. I saw you last week at the car lot. Ever since I quit my job at the factory, I've been helping my dad around the car lot. I'm in the back office; that's probably why we didn't officially meet last week when you bought the car," Nathan said.
"Okay ..." Haley dragged out. She wasn't fitting the pieces together yet.
"Your car sucks. It was the worst car on the lot," Nathan state bluntly. "You had problems with the brakes when you first bought it, huh?"
"Yeah, I did and then it just started working without making that awful screeching noise after a couple of days."
"That was me," Nathan admitted. "I knew you would need to get that fixed. And the tires? See how the two back tires are brand new? Your old ones were way too threadbare. You could have gotten flat tires out on the road. What if you had gotten injured?"
"So you did all this?" Haley asked incredulously. "Because you don't want me to get hurt?"
"Yeah, of course."
"But. Why? You don't even know me!"
"Because I like you. And you're really pretty. And I like you." Pause. "I said that already, huh?" Nathan sheepishly asked. In the dim light, Haley could see that he was blushing.
"Yeah, you did. This is too weird. So I bought a car from your dad and you've been stalking me since?"
"It's not as creepy as you make it seem!" Nathan defended.
"Uhhh," Haley replied with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah. It is."
"Okay, just listen. I don't want you to think I'm, umm you know, 'unbalanced' or something. Just listen?"
Haley nodded. Even though she was unarmed and alone in a poorly lit driveway with this stranger (handsome stranger though he was ...), she wasn't afraid. She somehow knew that this man, this Nathan Scott, wouldn't hurt her for anything in the world. When he focused those dark blue eyes on her, she swore a shiver ran down her back. Her head was screaming at her to be smart and run away at first chance while her gut was pleading her to stick around and hear what this boy had to say.
"So I saw you last week when you came in for a car. I wanted to introduce myself, but I got shy so I didn't say anything. I've always been like this. Not something I'm proud of. My brother, Lucas, can share horror stories about how dorky I was growing up. Actually, on second thought, don't talk to Lucas. Yeah. Just don't. That's entirely unnecessary. By the way, I ramble when I'm nervous. Like now. Nervous. Me." Nathan pointed at himself and smiled in an effort to make up for the verbal vomit he just sent Haley's way.
Haley couldn't keep the smile from lifting the corners of her lips. This man was adorable! Taking in his handsome face and hard body, she found it hard to believe that he could have ever had trouble with the ladies growin up. How did she ever think he was a killer? Oh right, wearing all black and slinking all over the place ...
"In an uncharacteristically stalker move, I looked up your address on the paperwork and well ... the rest is history," Nathan explained very earnestly and matter-of-factly, completely unaware that his actions could require the attention of the police.
"You've been secretly fixing my car?" Haley mussed in an effort to make sense of this weird and unexpected night. "You also tracked me down stalker-style."
"Guilty," Nathan admitted. "And guilty. Although, in my defense, I've never stalked anyone else before. Promise."
"And what? Now that we've met, what do you want?" Haley asked defensively. There were some sickos out there and Nathan better not be one of them!
"Nothing," Nathan said quickly. I'm not a sicko! "I just wanted to do this for you. That's all. You don't have to pay me back or anything."
Haley's heart warmed at this man. Sure he was a little off-kilter. Sure he had broke several laws (violation of privacy, unsolicited stalking, breaking and entering of her car to name a few), but he only committed all those "crimes" because he cared for her safety. How sweet!
"What if I wanted to repay you?" Haley said with her first bright smile of the night. "I'm a nice person like that."
Nathan smiled too. "I would like to help you continue to be a nice person. Because I'm nice like that too."
"Let me buy you dinner tomorrow night and we'll call this even?" Haley suggested.
"Let me buy you dinner and we'll continue seeing each other after that. How's that for a deal?," Nathan proposed. Looks like Sir Dork-a-Lot had some charm in him after all!
"More dates after that?" Haley playfully whined.
"Lots more dates," Nathan answered with a wink.
"Deal. On one condition though," Haley negotiated.
"Anything. You name it," Nathan readily agreed. His plan that Lucas called stupid and lame (and illegal) was working like a charm!
"I want another car. If I'm going to going on lots of dates with the son of owner of the dealership, I can't be seen driving this wreck," Haley said pointing at her ugly car.
"You drive a hard bargain, Haley," Nathan breathed out, pretending to look vexed. "You sure you're not a used car saleswoman?"
"Do we have a deal?" Haley asked, hands on hips.
"We have a deal," Nathan confirmed. "Now let's seal this deal." He reached out his hand for a shake, but Haley had other plans ...
"I thought you'd never ask," Haley said as she leaned in for their first kiss.
Haley James never thought that when she relocated to Tree Hill for a teaching offer that she would end up buying a lemon of car and landing her very own stalker with it. It was a good thing Haley had always loved a mouth-watering tall glass of lemonade!