Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds... boohoo!
Life's never perfect.
Life's a continual process.
We wake up in the morning, we breathe in the new day, we get ready, we eat, we go to work, we leave work, we eat, we go to bed taking the last breath of the day.
Life is always the same.
Life becomes predictable. No longer a challenge. It becomes a known thing.
Penelope Garcia found life predictable until one night changed it all. The night she broke up with her partner of 3 years, and then hooked up with her engaged best friend. The guilt that consumed her after that night was too large and she couldn't steal him from another women.
He'd found her broken and despondent and in an urge to wake her from her mild depression he took her to hers and got them both drunk.
That night Penelope gave out too many truths, too many hidden fears and that night Penelope never had felt more whole and loved in her entire life than when Derek had made love to her and proclaimed the love right back. Telling her in return about all the years of pent up feelings he had for her and how he nearly died when she was shot. How if she died, he'd die and that was that.
But with the last residuals of sex dispersing into the air and her mind sobering up she realised what she'd done, she'd allowed a man to cheat. So she stood up and began to dress, not realising he was waking up.
'Baby Girl.' He said sleepily and sat up a little. 'What are you doing?'
'We've done something terrible.'
'No we haven't.' He told her and he sat up completely. 'I now know what I want in life. I want you.'
'Derek, don't want me. Forget tonight ever happened.'
'Why? Is this because of Clare?' He asked her, she knew what Clare meant to him and it seemed she meant more than his fiancée did. 'I can end it.'
'No!' Penelope said and began to feel dirty. 'Do not break up with her.' She looked out of the window and felt her heart beat in her throat. 'She can give you what I can't.' She hadn't realised that Derek was up and coming up behind her until his arms were wrapped around her. 'Derek, don't.'
'Come on Baby Girl; tell me what Clare can give me that you can't.'
Penelope's breathing hitched. 'A family.' She said and the tears began to run torrents down her face; Derek spun her around in his arms.
'What do you mean?' He asked shocked.
'Derek, Kevin dumped me because he wanted to have a family with me, the chances of that happening biologically are slim to none. Kevin wants biological children so he dumped me because I can't give him that.'
'I don't care if our kids aren't biological Baby.'
'No but I do!' Penelope said and pushed him away. 'I want a child that's half mine and half the man I love but that's not going to happen. I can't have that baby with you!' She said her tone loud and depressed. 'I can't have that baby with anyone.'
'So you're just going to give up?'
'I don't want a family any other way, I don't want to get married, I don't want to adopt, I just want to live.'
'So that's it? We don't go further than tonight?' Penelope looked down. 'Fine, this doesn't leave your apartment, until you're ready to face up and love me how you know you want to!'
'I won't, you're marrying Clare and that's it. There's nothing that holds us to one another, I'm not going to get pregnant, I'm not going to have that future so I'm not going to strive for it.'
Derek pulled his clothes on. 'I'm never going to forget this happened and if you're too late I'm never going to forgive you for this. I love you P just remember that.' He kissed her forehead and left.
That night still tortured her, it'd been 4 months ago and now she was in the lobby of the church that Derek was going to marry Clare in and she felt sick to her stomach. She was too late.
As the doors began to open, her stomach clenched and she felt like her insides were burning alive, then just like a light, the world around her began to switch off and the last thing she remembered was her body slumping to ground as agony took over her.
A.N: So kind of a prologue but lemme know what you think!!