Love Letters

By: CrystallicSky

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters, nor do I make any profit or attempt to with the writing of this or any of my other pieces.

Warnings: Bad language, sexual implications, homosexuality, etc.

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Dear Chase,

Happy Valentine's day! Much love from your favorite consort on this, the cheesiest, most overinflated card-company-holiday of the year. K3

I doubt you celebrate it anyway, but still, I'm sorry I can't physically be there to make today exceedingly pleasant for you.

I'd love to be, but you know how mom and dad are: mom gets a crazy family-time idea in her head and enacts it, and dad backs it up wholeheartedly because, "Dammit, Jack, you're always complaining about how we're never home and now that we are, you want no part of us!"

Blah. I'd like it better if I were spending this weekend in Paris with you instead of them. It's probably just me being weird, but a holiday meant mostly for lovers doesn't exactly scream, 'spend it with your parents,' y'know?

Either way, there's not much I can do about it and I guess I'm only stuck here for another night, anyways. Might as well tough it out, right?

Well, whatever: when I get back to China, we can celebrate Valentine's belatedly. We might not be timely about it, but who gives a crap about timing, anyway? It certainly shouldn't be us, immortals that we are (I wonder when mom and dad will notice I haven't aged a day past nineteen even though I'd chronologically be twenty-two by now?).

Love ya', my Heylin Sexlord, see you soon! K3

- Jack

~*~*~*~

Dear Jack,

Thank you for the Valentine's day wishes and for the five pounds of chocolate you enclosed with your missive. I adore chocolate, but I'm certain you were aware of that when you chose your gift to me.

You do know me quite well, don't you?

Contrary to popular belief, I do celebrate some holidays when I feel it warranted. Simply because we've never celebrated this one before doesn't mean I'm not open to it.

I am particularly open to celebrating this one, but I'm certain you've come to that conclusion on your own thanks to the gift I've sent you along with this letter.

Happy Valentine's day, my consort, and I look forward to having you back with me soon.

- Chase

~*~*~*~

Dear Beloved Dragonlord,

Holy crap, your crow is fast! I'm not even going to ask how you got my letter so quick or how, minutes after sending it, I had your reply on my writing desk, but I really have to ask about the three dozen roses you sent me.

Seriously, there's no way a crow, even a Heylin crow, could carry all those flowers, in a vase, I might add.

Really, it's a question of weight ratios. A one-pound bird could not carry a huge, twenty-pound vase with thirty-six roses in it, no matter where he gripped it.

Still, they're very pretty. I almost didn't notice that the assortment matches my color-scheme until mom walked in and told me the orange roses match my hair color exactly. Really, Chase? A bouquet of white, black, red, and orange roses?

You're seriously trying to get me to ditch the folks and screw your brains out, tonight, aren't you?

Speaking of the folks, they're all curious about the flowers, now. Mom's talking about how sweet a gift it is and dad's talking about how the boy is supposed to send flowers to the girl, not the other way around.

They still haven't figured out I'm ass-demolishingly gay. Just goes to show they never spend any time with me.

You, on the other hand, clearly have: you know just what I like. K3

Thanks for the flowers, in any case!

- Jack

~*~*~*~

My Dearest Consort,

I'm pleased that you appreciated your gift and as to the question of whether I'm trying to bring you home to me early to delight in your beautiful body…what do you think?

Your parents are of no consequence to me. Their only redeeming quality in my mind is that they created you for me to enjoy at my leisure, which I have every intention of doing for many, many years to come.

Until next you write me, Jack.

- Chase

P.S.- For the record, a murder of Heylin crows would be able to carry the flowers I sent so long as they carried it with a strand of creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers.

~*~*~*~

Dear Master of My Heart,

I love you. You're epic and amazing and hot enough to fry a bacon-and-egg breakfast on, and you can pick up on and quote Monty Python references back to me.

I'm definitely sure I picked the right guy to fall head over heels with.

- Jack, XOXOXO

~*~*~*~

Dear Lovely,

You and I both know you hadn't the slightest bit of choice when you fell in love with me. You saw a faded, vague sketch of me in a textbook and you were instantly smitten.

It sealed your fate to actually meet me. Once you realized that I truly existed alive and well in the world, it would've taken something just shy of mind-control drugs to make you even consider loving another.

I greatly adore your devotion to me, my lover.

- Chase, X

~*~*~*~

Dear Cupcake,

Not even mind-control drugs would've done it. When I told you I loved you, I meant it.

Cheesy as it sounds, you're the only one for me, baby. K3

- Jack

~*~*~*~

Dear Muffin,

Your feelings are reciprocated, I assure you.

When I took you as my apprentice, I was certain that would be all we were to each other. Then, I noticed how appealing your body was and I made you my consort, as well.

Even that much proved to be insufficient, after awhile. You're very good at worming your way into peoples' hearts without them noticing a thing: before I realized it, I had grown to want you around for more than serving me in battle and in bed.

I wanted…I want you, Jack, not simply the things that make you useful to me.

You are the first to inspire such weak-minded feelings in me in many, many years, and oddly enough, I'm grateful for it.

I love you, Jack Spicer.

- Chase

~*~*~*~

Dear Snugglebear,

Mom and dad won't stop bugging me, now.

Mom keeps trying to comfort me and dad is ranting about how boys aren't supposed to cry about anything, much less when they're happy.

I don't care. All I know is, I'm so happy and so damn in love with you that I could probably take over the world tonight on the high alone.

Screw Paris, I don't wanna be here anymore. I wanna be with you, tonight, not my parents.

- Jack

~*~*~*~

My Sweet Moonbeam,

I wish to be with you, too. A commercialized holiday means nothing without a reason behind it, and I cannot celebrate said reason without my love at my side.

Come home to me, lover, I miss you.

- Chase

P.S.- I think our nickname war is over; there is nothing more saccharine than comparing you to moonlight.

~*~*~*~

Honey-Snookums,

I win the nickname war: 'snookums' is the most sickeningly sweet thing anybody can call anybody and I've added 'honey' to it.

Either way, it doesn't much matter, 'cause this is the last letter I'm sending.

I told mom and dad I'm leaving. Dad was pissed, but when I explained that I wanted to spend the night with the person who sent me those flowers, mom cooed about how romantic it was and forced dad to let me go.

He's pretty whipped, actually.

I've already packed up my stuff and, as I'm sure your crow's told you, I'll be flying en route to your palace with my helipack soon.

Crack open the champagne and chocolate, Chase, I'll be there by morning. K3

- Jack

~*~*~*~

Jack,

I concede defeat. I suppose I am simply too evil to use such fluffy little nicknames as well as you.

However, everything here is ready for your arrival and requires only your presence.

I await you eagerly, my precious, peachy pudding pop.

- Chase

~*~*~*~

Chase,

Fuck it all, you win. That was terrible.

- Jack

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A/N: Here you go, everybody, my Valentine's day fic that I wrote on the fly when I remembered today was Valentine's day! XD

Anyways, I've noticed a lot of hate from single people towards this day and I guess that's valid: there are a lot of couples running around that try to make single people feel bad about not having a 'special someone' to spend the day with.

Speaking as a single person myself, though, I don't hate Valentine's day even though I'm not about to get snuggly and celebrate with a guy I like.

Today, I'm going to tell my family and friends that I love them and then enjoy the awesome Valentine's chocolate they've given me. =3

To everybody else, regardless of relationship status, Happy Valentine's Day! K3

(P.S.- Thanks for reading the fic, and I hope you liked it! :D)

P.P.S.- Whenever you see K3, I meant to put less-than-3, which looks more like a heart than K3 does, but this site doesn't allow the less-than sign in posts and a 'k' was the closest I could get to it. Sorry 'bout that. ^^