NOTE: I apologize to my fellow Trekkies - the rhyming is not up to spec, which is not my usual standard of poetry.
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the ship
Nothing was stirring
Not even a blip
The Doctor was offline
Seven in her alcove
Everything was fine
Just as Janeway had hoped
When the air began to twinkle
And in a column of light
The Grinch beamed aboard
He was a nasty old sight
He wore a biometric dampener
To slience the alarms
No "INTRUDER ALERT"
Such were his techno-charms
Down the corridors he crept
To Holodeck One
When he saw the replicated booty
He thought "this will be fun"
He gathered it all up
With a transporter enhancer
Never had the Delta Quadrant
Seen such a nasty little prancer
He beamed off with the lot
I'm sorry to say
And kicked into warp
Without any delay
In her alcove stirred Seven
Sensing something was amiss
Shaken out of regeneration
Dreams of Chakotay and bliss
She saw the crime proper
Her eyes became wide
"Seven of Nine to security!"
The voluptuous Borg cried
In reponse to her distress
Tuvok swept through the doors
The tall handsome Vulcan
Calmer than all
A while later on the bridge
The senior crew all did gather
Most frantic to discover
The heart of the matter
"The Grinch got away!"
Chakotay did cry
Said Janeway "My dead body!"
"Mister Paris, warp nine!"
On injectors, on warp core, on ICS thrusters!
On variable geometry warp nacelle systems!
On navigational deflectors and sensor array!
Voyager shall reclaim her glory this day!
The ship took off like a bat out of hell
On the Grinch's decaying warp ion trail
An hour did pass then Kim said "At last!"
"Bearing zero one two and we're coming up fast!"
"Take us out of warp," Janeway said "and tread lightly!
If the Grinch knows we're here he'll be ever so sprightly.
Mister Tuvok, raise shields, arm weapons, stand by!
We'll teach that green rascal not to bleed our ship dry."
Slowly, from the nebula in which he had nested
Came The Grinch's beat-up warp-capable vessel
He trailed hot gases from his warp nacelles
As he circled the very people he had bested.
"Hailing frequencies," ordered Janeway
"Let's spoil his Christmas Day!"
And Grinch appeared on the jumbo viewscreen.
"Give back our crew's stuff, don't be so mean"
But all Grinchie gave her was a nasty green grin.
"Bugger off, woman, if you value your skin.
I've got plans for this stuff, they involve the Who homeworld
Their Yuletide cheer is about to go cold."
"Captain," said Tuvok, "I've detected a bomb,
It's set to go off at 0901
If the Who folk do not act, they will surely perish
We must help them, The Prime Directive demands it."
Voyager raced to the planet of Who
And Harry Kim scanned for the big bomb of doom
With seconds to spare, it was beamed into space
Thus Voyager saved the entire Who race.
They set off for home, their mission achieved
Through without their presents, some were sorely grieved.
But the Grinch, did he get away as fast as he was able?
Perhaps, but there was a strange dish Neelix brought to the table.