Soothe
A Loveless Fanfic by: Lady Chi
Okay, I KNOW this fic really isn't something I should even consider doing, especially amidst all my sagas and crap...but I started becoming really obsessed with "Loveless" in such a short time that I just had to pay homage to it! This fic was inspired by episode 3, wherein Soubi tells Ritsuka, "if you want to hear my voice you can just call me." And then he proceeds to traumatize the damn kid by making him pierce his ears...don't get me wrong; I love Soubi very much. But he's so enigmatic and everything he says is a double-entendre! He really does remind me of a hotter, more good version of Cain from "Nightwalker..." Anywho, the fic! Kinda digressed there for a sec...
Summary: When Ritsuka's mother's abuse goes too far, he's left alone on the streets in the rain. Anime-verse, two years post-series. Kinda short, maybe a little drabblish...and a little OOC on Ritsuka's part? The fic itself is so much shorter than all my damned notes.
Ratings: T for shounen-ai, teeny bit of language and abuse. Mostly for the abuse; I think the shounen-ai is pretty mild.
Disclaimer: "Loveless" is copyright Yun Kouga. I only wish I owned that hot-ass kiss from "Memoryless", or possibly Soubi...Soooooooubi...(gets Yayoi tossed at her) Okay, fine, I'll take him.
Yayoi: Yuiko-saaaann...-cries-
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The storm had turned the sky a smoky color, the thick dark rainclouds blotting out what little light was left in the day. Different hues of gray and white bled together to set the mood for his languid walk.The droplets both agitated and calmed Ritsuka's burning skin as he stumbled down the pavement. He felt distant from everything except the pain of his own wounds.
It sounded cliche, without a doubt, but it admittedly fit the situation.
Ritsuka Aoyagi walked limply down the sidewalk, clutching a painful scrape on his arm after it had collided with the kitchen table...on accident, he would tell Shinonome-Sensei the following day at school. Wait...today was Saturday; he still had another day before he would see his teacher again. Good, he had enough time to create a valid explanation. Everything was an accident for Ritsuka; he was just accident-prone. Or rather, he was the accident.
Perhaps it was for the best that he left the house for the remainder of the night. His mother had one of her more violent outbursts this night, which--while they were occurring more and more-- didn't happen as often as the occasional slap on the wrist. Or face. But it had never been enough to drive him out of his own home...
...No. It wasn't his home. It was the "real" Ritsuka's home. He was just here for some unknown purpose except to fuel Mrs. Aoyagi's anger. And vent it, as well.
Ritsuka looked at his sky-blue shirt. The rip in his right sleeve would take a while to mend. he looked at his left sleeve. It was missing, ripped at the shoulder when he had tried to escape. Every time it was the same thing...
"Who are you! What have you done with my Ritsuka! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE ME BACK RITSUKA!"
Ritsuka gently swept his fingers over his cheek, wincing in pain at the scratches there. "The fork," he concluded. He distinctly remembered a few things thrown at him or used against him. Unfortunately they were expensive things...
He had hurt her by not being Ritsuka. It was bad enough to lose Seimei; now she had nothing except a teenage boy in her house who looked, spoke, and acted like her youngest. But it wasn't him.
The rain pounded harder, the water weighing down both his hair and ears. He dragged his tail languidly, uncaring about what got caught in it. He had a habit of getting things caught on his tail: leaves, twigs...litter paper...Yuiko Hawatari...Ritsuka chuckled at this thought in spite of himself. The action made the bruise on his jaw throb and his whole face burned in agony. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and his limbs felt weak. No...I can't go to sleep...not here...
It couldn't be helped. Ritsuka found a brick wall and sat down, leaning helplessly against it. He landed much more roughly than he had intended to, due to his slender legs buckling from underneath him."I must look so...pathetic right now..." he whispered to himself, his vocal chords feeling strained somewhat. But he knew he was right: if anyone was out right now, they probably would have tossed some change into his lap. He stared down weakly at his feet, noticing that in his haste, he had forgotten to put on shoes. His arms lay helplessly at his sides, cut and bruised. The old scrape on his wrist--which had just begun to heal--was bleeding again after his mother had torn the thin bandage off in her violent rage. His head slumped forward, too weak to fully support himself against the brick wall. Ritsuka stared at his lap and at the rainwater pooling in the creases of his shirt.
Then his eyes fell on something else: the cell phone attached to the lanyard around his neck. The one that Agatsuma Soubi had given him. He sighed. Now his mind track was on the university student and it would be hard to stray from that track. It always was when it came to Soubi.
"I'm sick of thinking about nothing but you!"
"So you've been thinking about nothing but me?"
"Go to hell! I'm really tired now!"
"S...Soubi...why do you always tell me you love me...?" he mumbled to himself, gripping the phone tightly. Were Soubi's declarations really only his orders from Seimei? He had once told him that he had fallen in love with the boy, but the enigmatic adult often told lies and made false promises.
Well, I suppose there were a couple justified promises, Ritsuka corrected, remembering the time when he couldn't get through to the older man's phone...he had printed out the pictures of the wildcat and hung them on his cork board. (1)
It was never that he didn't like Soubi. But he was twelve and the other man was nineteen! It wouldn't have been right to accept his advances, even if they were in the midst of a battle. And yet...even through the distrust and lies, Ritsuka still came back to him. Even after the subsequent two years of the similar--almost ritualistic--behavior, he always turned to the older man for comfort.
"If you want to hear my voice, you can just call me."
"I'm the first number on your speed dial. Call me."
"Shit...I can't believe...I'm..." He opened his phone and held down the "2." (2)
Soubi lay on the floor of his loft, taking a drag on his third cigarette when he heard a familiar chime. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and saw the red light flash. (3) Ritsuka... He flipped it open. He was supposed to be procrastinating in regards to a project for class, but the young Sacrifice always came first, no matter how unreliable Soubi came across to him.
"Hello, Ritsuka?"
"... Soubi ...I--"
"Is everything okay? You sound upset."
"...I just wanted...to hear your...voice...I guess."
"...Where are you? I can come over right now."
"I don't know."
"You don't know where you are?"
"Find me...just find...me, please..."
"...That's an order...?"
"Mm."
There was a long silence as Soubi put on his coat, stuffing the half-empty pack of cigarettes into one pocket. He wasn't sure what to say...he suspected that Ritsuka was outside; he could hear rain falling in the background. Why would he be outside when it was getting so late? But when he heard the small boy's labored breathing increase in volume, Soubi pushed the questions to the back of his mind and decided to ask once he found him.
"Don't hang up."
"...I...I won't..."
"I love you, Ritsuka."
Another, longer pause as Soubi slid the key into the lock, sealing his apartment. The mixture of the loud rain and the increasing feedback on the other line made it hard to hear. But, as he walked downstairs, he heard a small reply:
"...I know you do."
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Well...that was...very...random crap. Another chapter coming soon.
1) Okay, I'm not entirely sure if this is the right name (too lazy to watch episode), but it's referring to episode 4 where Ritsuka orders Soubi to take pictures of that endangered wildcat. And when he tries to call Soubi, he can't get through because Soubi was on the island.
2) Soubi is Ritsuka's first number on speed dial, as we are well-aware of. I don't know if this applies to all cell phones, but on my phone if you hold down the 1 key, you go to voicemail. So, the next one would be 2, and Ritsuka's first speed dial.
3) I think Soubi's cell light turns red if Ritsuka calls. If not, then just pretend it does.
Read and Review, onegaishimasu! And no flames.
-Lady Chi