Title: like someone else's sky
Fandom: Wire in the Blood
Pairing: Tony/Carol
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Just general ones for series 4+5
Summary: Pieces of Tony and Carol's relationship, all seen through Paula's eyes. Starts around 201, and goes through.
The first time Paula's presented with the notion of Tony and Carol, it's completely accidental.
It's her only her second case in Bradfield since being transferred from Newcastle, and she stays extra late, opting to plough through the massive pile of paperwork on her desk rather than let it pile any higher. It's been a tough case, and the news of the death of the little girl in hospital just adds to the misery. They caught the bastard, but it's hardly a consolation.
Ten years old, abducted and strangled to death. Just one victim out of the killer's many, but this one was different. If they had've solved it just a few hours earlier, she might still be alive now.
It's just not fair.
She stands, knowing coffee's the only way she'll manage to get through the long night ahead, and starts to move to the machine when she sees them.
They're in Carol's office, her leaning against the desk, head in bowed in anguish. The sheer vulnerability of her stance astounds Paula.
Dr Hill's hovering in front of her, looking largely unsure of himself. His awkwardness would be amusing, if it wasn't so heartbreaking.
He murmurs something and Carol lifts her head, despair shrouding her features. He hesitates a moment, before reaching forward to cup her cheek, thumb moving gently across her skin. Her eyes close and she leans in to his touch, posture relaxing slightly.
She may not have been here long, but she doesn't have to have been to notice the intimacy of the moment. The connection between the two of them is suddenly blindingly obvious, and she can't quite believe she hasn't noticed it before.
She walks away feeling more than a little jealous.
--/
"So Paula..." Don starts, eyeing her cautiously, and she does her best to resist rolling her eyes at his lack of subtelty. "You've been here a while now. What do you think of us here in Bradfield?"
She feels his curious eyes on her, and she sighs. Interrogation was not what she signed up for when she agreed to go out for drinks.
"Yeah. How do we compare?" Kevin adds, exchanging knowing glances with Don.
Great. An ambush. Just what she wanted.
She takes a sip of her drink, and tries to look thoughtful. "I have to say... The quality of men was certainly much better there." She deadpans, keeping her features carefully free from any amusement.
Don stares at her, open-mouthed, and Kevin coughs, choking on his beer.
She lets herself smile now, relaxing a little, as the boys exchange shocked looks. If they want to play games, she's not going to back down.
Kevin recovers, smiling widely. "Good one."
Don, however, isn't giving in so easily. "Seriously, though. What do you think?"
She's impressed by his determination, and tries to actually think of a proper answer. "It's different. There's certainly more action."
Don nods thoughtfully, and Kevin injects. "What about the staff? How do we compare, aside from being uglier?"
"Definitely more professional. And, no offence to Newcastle, better at your jobs."
He grins, seemingly satisfied with her response. "With Carol Jordan and the brilliant Dr Hill running things, how can we go wrong?"
She nods, conceding his point, and has more of her drink. "Speaking of Dr Hill, what's going on with him and the Gov?"
She's been wanting to ask about them for ages, but only now that she's part of the 'team' is she able to.
Kevin frowns deeply. "In what way?"
She scoffs. "Come on... You can't tell me you haven't noticed them together."
Don looks equally as lost, and she can't quite believe it. In all this time, they haven't noticed a thing. "Well, they're hardly just work colleagues, are they?"
"I never thought of it like that..." Kevin says, as if coming to a grand realisation.
Don's eyes light up. "Now that you mention it,"
She sighs, shaking her head.
Men.
--/
A stack of carefully organised paperwork plummets to the floor, making her jump out of her skin as the noises echoes around the room. "Shit!"
She looks up to check the cause of the carnage and is surprised to see Tony looking at her guiltily.
"I'm so sorry, Paula. Let me help."
She moves to start picking them up, almost running into Tony as he joins her. Between them, they manage to gather the papers. Placing them back on the desk, she smiles at him gratefully. "Thanks."
He shakes his head, frowning slightly. "Don't thank me. I'm the one who made the mess in the first place."
"It's fine, really."
He flashes her small smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to her. "May I?"
"Sure." She watches curiously as he settles in the chair, pulling a sandwich from his coat pocket.
A silence settles, and it feels endlessly awkward to her. They've been working together for almost 6 months now, and she can't believe that they'd still have nothing to talk about.
He doesn't seem to notice, simply chewing his sandwich and staring off into space.
She goes for one of the only topics they have in common: work. "Have you seen Carol today?"
Tony blinks at her, snapping out of his daydream. "Briefly this morning. She's in meetings until 2."
Paula nods, watching as he takes another bite of his sandwich. "You'd think they'd at least give her some time off, especially after the way she solved the last case."
"I'm still not quite sure myself how she managed it, and I'm supposed to be the expert."
She nods slowly in agreement. "She's pretty amazing, isn't she?"
He swallows and looks up, meeting her eyes. Just for a second, his guard slips, and the sheer honesty present astounds her. "Yeah. She certainly is."
--/
She's not sure if it's divine intervention or not, but for once, she's going home on time.
She finishes the sentence she's writing with a flourish and stacks the documents, gathering her things together and heading for Carol's office.
The room is deserted, and she decides to simply leave the papers on her desk rather than cause a fuss looking for her boss. Rounding the desk, she immediately notices a colourful gift box sitting in the middle of the space.
It's a deep purple colour, encircled by pretty ribbon, with a small card sitting on top.
She takes a deep breath. She's not going to touch it, or move it, or even look at it. She's most definitely not going to check who it's from. Prying will do her no good, and probably get her into huge amounts of trouble.
Her stand lasts all of twenty seconds, and, before she knows it, she's carefully flipping open the card and squinting to read the contents.
Carol,
So you thought you could stealthily hide your own birthday from me?
I'm a genius, crime-solving psychologist, remember?
Anyway, Happy Birthday. I hope it's been a good day. You deserve all the happiness you get.
Tony.
PS: I have a bottle of champagne in the fridge, if you're interested.
She closes the card, moving the present back to its original position and putting her own stack of papers down.
She smiles all the way to the car.
--/
"Paula."
The voice sounds weak and completely foreign. This is certainly not the woman she's used to.
"I'm here, Gov."
Carol smiles weakly, gesturing to the bed. "You don't have to call me that when I'm in hospital. And you can sit down."
Paula returns the smile and obliges, perching awkwardly at the edge of the bed. "Can I get you anything?"
"I wouldn't mind some water, actually."
She moves to the jug in the corner, pouring the glass and handing it to her carefully.
The older woman smiles gratefully, taking a sip. "I suppose you heard what happened, then."
"Yeah. Wankers." She scrutinses her more closely, brow knitting in concern.
Carol catches her look and sighs. "It's not as bad as it looks, really. Just a minor accident."
Paula frowns deeply, finding herself unable to agree. The half-a-dozen bruises blossoming on her face and arms hardly help. "It looks a lot more than minor."
Carol gives her a stern look, eyes fiery, and she's endlessly relieved. The spark's still there.
"I'm fine, really. I'll just be out of action for a few days. Speaking of which, can I ask you a favour?"
Paula sits up a little straighter, glad to be back on safer ground. "Of course."
"Look, I'm really sorry about this, but Nelson, my cat... He needs someone to look after him."
"I didn't know you had a cat."
She smiles softly, but doesn't elaborate. "He just needs some food put out, and his litter changed. I know it's not the most glamorous job, but..."
"Carol, really. It's no problem. Besides, I've always quite liked cats."
"Thank you, Paula."
"No problem." Carol yawns, sinking lower in the bed and she takes it as her cue. "I should let you rest."
She nods, eyelids drooping slightly. "Ah, the joys of morpheine."
Paula laughs, patting her arm gently as she stands. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
She's about to walk through the door when Carol's voice stops her in her tracks. "Paula, has anyone told Tony?"
Shit. In all the chaos that surrounded the accident, they'd somehow forgotten to tell the man it would affect the most.
"Not yet."
Carol nods tiredly, energy fading by the second. "In the morning, then."
"I'll do it personally, first thing. Can't rely on the men of the office, anyway."
"Do me one more favour, Paula. When you tell him, make sure he's sitting down."
--/
She heads to the hospital as soon as she can after the sniper's been taken care of.
The whole week's been surreal, and she's only just had the time to consider what it all means. Tony's in surgery, life hanging in the balance, and she can't stop thinking of the possiblities.
She walks quickly down the hall, trying desperately to remember the directions the nurse gave her. Eventually entering the waiting room, she immeadiately spots Carol hunched in the corner, head resting against the wall.
Her breath catches in her throat.
She looks absolutely exhausted, and Paula realises with a start that whatever fear she's experiencing, Carol's feeling it a hundred times worse, because to her, he isn't just a co-worker.
This is the man she loves.
She takes a breath, moving across the room to sit in the seat next to her. "Hey."
Carol turns to her and takes a deep breath, attempting a smile. "Paula. What are you doing here?"
She hesitates, before handing her the coffee she's carrying. "I thought you might need someone."
They sit in silence for a while, and Paula takes the moment to study her more closely. She looks impossibly tired, circles under her eyes darker than ever before. She's far more vulnerable than she's ever been before, and Paula can't help the dread that builds.
If Tony doesn't get through, if he doesn't make it...
She can't think like that. Can't let Carol think like that.
"Carol... He will be okay. He'll get through this."
She smiles unconvincingly, and Paula's heart breaks a little more. "Yeah. Of course he will." She straightens up and takes a breath, gathering whatever strength she has left. "You should probably get back to work. The surgery could take hours."
She takes one look at the other woman, pale and shaking, and her mind's made up. "Kevin's back at the office. He called to say he's covering it." She reaches out, taking Carol's hand. "I'm fine right here."
--/
She watches her fade.
At first, she thinks she's imagining it, because really, this is Carol we're talking about here. The thought of her being anything other than resolute is one reserved for desperate times only.
But it happens, right in front of her. It's subtle, but Paula's spent so long observing her that it soon becomes impossible to miss.
Her arguments lose strength. She starts to give in to Tony's theories far quicker than ever before. She loses her passion.
It's frightening, really, to watch her unfold like this.
In every downturn of the shoulders, every pained sigh and closing of the eyes, all Paula can see is a woman who is drowning.
The trouble is, she has no idea how to save her.
--/
"Dr Hill!"
He stops in his tracks as she rushes over to catch up with him.
"Paula." She can tell as soon as he turns that he's found out about Carol. It's in the way he talks, voice shaking ever so slightly and inflection all wrong.
"Here's a copy of the scene of crime photos. I thought you might need them."
He attempts a smile, but it's far from genuine. "Thanks." He gazes at her a moment, and Paula can't help but feel as if he's looking right through her.
She's seen how he works, watching someone for only a few seconds before proceeding to rip them to shreds with his incredible ability to read people.
She hopes it's not what he's doing, because the guilt's already eating her up. It's not only that they all knew about Carol's imminent departure. She noticied the signs in Carol long before, saw it coming, but kept quiet. The idea that she could've prevented it, could've stopped the pain...
She can't take it anymore. "Dr Hill?"
He blinks, and, to her immense relief, finally breaks the eye contact. "I was just..." He pauses slightly, and she swears for a moment he's going to ask her something more. "Thanks Paula."
She tries a smile in return (why not?) and as she watches him walk away, the guilt becomes overpowering. It's irresistable, really.
"Tony!" She calls and he turns, a confused look on settling as he takes the few steps closer to her. "I wanted to say... I'm sorry. About Carol."
He doesn't react, at least not outwardly, simply nodding. "Yeah. Me too."
This time, when he turns to leave, she doesn't try to stop him.
She's done enough damage already.
--/
The whole office is on tenterhooks.
It's almost deathly quiet, the only noises coming from a few officers on the phones in the background. Anyone who had the opportunity to take a break did so, leaving the office almost deserted.
The tension rises up another notch as Alex bursts out of her room, shaking her head slightly.
Paula doesn't dare move a muscle, focussing all her attention on the stack of paperwork in front of her. She doesn't even have to look to know everyone else is following suit.
An almost palpable sense of relief settles as the sound of Alex's boots on the floor disappears. The coast finally clear, she lifts her eyes to the desk across from her.
"Wow..." Is all she can manage, a disbelieving smile settling on her face. "Tell me I didn't imagine all of that happening."
Kevin returns her smile, looking equally as bewildered. "It happened. I just don't quite know how."
She glances up momentarily at Alex's office and its two lone occupants, still not quite believing her eyes.
After almost three years of isolation and without any prior warning, Carol Jordan had appeared that morning, giving no explanation other than that she wanted to speak to Tony. When Alex appeared with Dr Hill in tow, all hell broke loose.
Alex eventually sheparded the pair into the semi-private surrounds of her office, where they had stayed ever since, locked in a heated argument.
The familiar figure of Carol Jordan now stands to the side of the room, head bowed in what looks like regret. Tony looms close to her, and though she can't quite hear what he is saying, it isn't hard to guess.
Now over the intial shock, his anger seems to have well and truly settled as he delivers a particularly vigorous point that makes even Carol flinch.
"D'you think it's going well?" Kevin asks sarcastically.
"I think an impromptu wedding in Vegas is definitely on the cards."
Kevin chuckles, eyes returning to his page.
She follows suit, averting her eyes. Despite all the wise-cracking, she can't help but feel just a little hollow, because it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Things were never supposed to be so messy.
She's doesn't know the exact mechanisms of their relationship, but she really thought that what Tony and Carol had was something special. Confusing and utterly indefinable, sure, but also strong. Long lasting.
To see them throw it away like this just makes her feel ill.
She senses movement next to her and frowns as Kevin sits bolt upright, a look of shock clouding his features.
"No way..."
"What?" He pulls on her arm and as she looks up, she thinks her jaw drops about a metre at the sight confronting her.
Tony with his arms wrapped around Carol's waist, kissing her with so much feeling, so much passion, before she's kissing back, hand rising to cup his jaw.
She tears her eyes away from the scene, forcing herself to focus on Kevin. He meets her eyes for a long moment, making no effort to hide his amazement.
She smiles now, a big, genuine smile that he returns in earnest, because they both know what this means.
Finally, things are as they should be.