Hi there again folks!
At the moment, I am LOVING this song, and ideas just kept floating through my head for story every time I listened to it. So, here is the one shot the came out of all my scattered thoughts. Reviews of course are always appreciated.
Cheers!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Zelda, not did I write the song "Jar of Hearts". Those belong to Nintendo and Christina Perri respectively.
"No," thought Link. "I can't take one more step towards you." He looked down towards the ground and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. It was bad enough that he had been obligated to attend this ceremony as a Knight of Hyrule, but now it was as if the Goddesses had planned to make him truly suffer.
Link sighed and thought, "all that's waiting there is regret."
With another sigh he looked up towards the person that was responsible for his feelings. She stood next to the Throne of Hyrule, looking absolutely stunning in her white, elaborate dress. Her light, blonde hair was curled neatly around her face and hung loosely at the back of head, although at the moment it was covered by the long, lace veil she was wearing. The veil was held onto her head by a silver crown, with blue, red, and green stones scattered around the base before the metal meet in the centre with a fancy swirl. Link had never seen her dressed so beautifully, but then he had been with the Princess through some of her darker moments.
"Queen," he mentally told himself. "She's your Queen now."
The knight in front of him took a step forward and Link reluctantly did the same. There were now only three knights ahead of him. Link dried his now sweaty palms on his black dress pants and readjusted his stance to look more confident. This will be easy, he told himself. Just like it was to stand in the Temple of Time and watch her get married to some other Prince from beyond Hyrule's boarder. Just like it was to follow the rest of Knights of Hyrule in single file to the main banquet room of the Castle, and wait to be introduced to the new King and Queen of Hyrule and swear allegiance to them.
Just as easy as it had been to leave her a year ago, a little voice that was not his own reminded him.
His heart constricted at that thought, remembering how hard it had been to walk out on the Princess at her most desperate hour. He remembered her begging him not to go – she had even got on her hands and knees, something which had made his decision all the more painful so as to reduce the Princess to that kind of level.
"But I had to," he said to himself. "I had to."
He looked up again and found himself at the front of the line. He looked around frantically, trying to find anyway to get out of what he had to do. His stomach erupted into butterflies and he felt the sweat return to his palms. Link started breathing deeply, repeating the mantra he had repeated to himself time and time again whenever thoughts of the Princess had entered his mind: I'm not her ghost anymore. I'm not her ghost anymore. You don't need to care.
But you do, the little voice screamed at him. You lost the love you loved the most when you left that day.
"Now presenting Sir Link to his majesty's the King and Queen of Hyrule."
Stricken by that last thought, Link looked up at the announcer, standing at the base of steps leading up to throne. Link must have looked worried and stressed because the announcer jabbed his head slightly to the left as if to say, "what are you waiting for? Get a move on!" Link snapped out of his solemn state and immediately put on the persona of a confident knight. Link acted like a robot and performed the actions he needed to. He walked towards the base of the throne, knelt on one knee, with his hand across his heart.
"My King; my Queen. I, Sir Link, hereby swear my allegiance to you and your family, and promise to serve and protect Hyrule, until the Goddesses see fit to remove me from this world."
Link kept his eyes cast down the whole time, speaking to the red carpet that lay in front of the throne. His heart had been beating rapidly the whole time he swore his oath, with the little voice reminding him that he had sworn a similar oath to the Princess not too long ago. But before he could start waging an all out war within himself, the sweetest voice that Link knew broke through.
"Arise Sir Link."
It had only been three words, but they were enough to stop his heart entirely. It had been just over a year since he had heard her melodic voice, and he felt a sense of completion as her words wrapped around him.
Link brought himself up to full height and kept his eyesight focussed on the red curtain above the throne. He knew he would have to meet her eyes at some point, but for now he just waited for the new King to speak.
After a short silence, the new King responded, "Of course Sir Link. The Queen and I would be honoured to have you serve us and protect Hyrule. May the Goddesses bless you and guide your way."
Still keeping his eyes on the back curtain, Link clicked his heels to attention and bowed his head. When he brought it back up again, he met the cool, sparkling blue eyes of the Princess – no, Queen.
It took a moment for Link to realise that she was standing right in front of him: she had obviously stepped down the stairs leading up the throne so as to be closer to him. It took another moment for his heart to start beating so fast that he couldn't imagine how it was not bursting through his body. Again, he had that sense of completion just being in her presence, although he filed the thought away as the Queen held out her hand in front of her.
"You need to seal your allegiance with a kiss, Sir Link."
Link couldn't be sure, but he swore he heard some reluctance in her voice. Regardless, Link leaned forward and held the Queen's hand in his, and he immediately felt electricity rage through his entire body. He stopped himself from gasping and instead made eye contact with the Queen, whose eyes were wide with emotion. Link could feel her shiver at his touch, but also felt something rather prickly as he grasped her hand more tightly.
"My Queen," he said, steeling himself for what was to come. Slowly he lowered his lips to her skin, and when they touched he was sure his triforce had glowed bright enough to blind the entire room. As it was, to Link, it felt like time stood still for those precious seconds he and the Queen were touching.
He reluctantly let go of hand, and from the expression on the Queen's face, she was sad to have lost the contact. Meeting Link's eyes, she visibly swallowed and said, "Thank you Sir Link. You may return to the banquet."
Link clicked his heels once more, before bowing his head and turning around. With his head held high, he walked towards the main doors of the banquet hall. He had no intention of staying longer than he needed to: now that his allegiance was sworn, he would be free to go back to his recluse in the Forest.
Link reached down to open the two main doors when something in his hand caught his eye. Between two of his fingers was what looked like a small piece of paper. Link briefly remembered the prickling feeling he had felt in his hand while he was holding the Queen's.
Quickly walking towards the corner of the room and looking about him to see any unwelcome observers, Link hastily unfolded the piece of paper when he was safely by himself. He recognised the neat lettering immediately.
Link, it said. We must talk. Please. Meet me in the courtyard of the Palace Gardens in exactly one hour. This is important. Please.
It was not signed, but it didn't need to be for Link to know whom it was from. He looked up from his corner and focussed on the Queen at the other end of the room. I learn to live half alive, and now you want me one more time?
Letting out a frustrated sigh at the fact that his heart had already given in, Link crumbled the piece of paper in his hand and walked out of the banquet hall. Letting his legs guide him to the place they knew from memory, Link let his mind wander.
That day a year ago had been distressful if not painful. He had been assigned as the personal guard of the Princess then, but they both knew that their feelings went well beyond the normal guard – charge relationship. She swore she would never let anyone or anything get in the way of their love, and he swore that he would do everything in his power to see her protected. They never questioned whether their relationship would come to fruition: it was not so much a question of 'if', rather a question of 'when'. They never got beyond secret kisses in her bedroom or far corners of the castle, but for the both of them at that time, it was enough.
And it wasn't like no one knew of his or her feelings. Even to the casual observer Link was sure it was obvious. The way that the Princess and he had interacted and their fierce loyalty to each other could not be matched by anyone else in the entire Kingdom
Then, after 11 months straight of working as the Princess' guardian, Link had been convinced by the King that he needed to take a break. "It's for your own good," the King had said. "We can't have someone who is tired and run down to guard the Princess. She is not due for any specific thing this week that require her leaving the Castle. Please take this week to recuperate."
Not wanting to disobey the King, Link had unwillingly left for a week.
When he had returned from his week in the Forest, Link knew that something was wrong. The Princess was not her usual chirpy, happy self and she had lost the sparkle in eyes. However, whenever Link had tried quizzing her on what was wrong, she had refused to acknowledge that anything was out of place. They continued in this subdued state for a month or so until finally, the Princess had decided to tell Link what was wrong: that she was pregnant, and the baby was definitely was not his.
By this time back in the present, Link drew out of his thoughts and found himself standing at the gate that lead to the Palace Gardens. As he surveyed the area, he was pleased to note that it looked exactly the same as it had a year ago, when that fateful conversation between him and the Princess had occurred. He remembered the white, hot anger that ran through his veins that day, transferring it from the person who could do something like that to the Princess, to himself for not being here to protect her, before finally settling on the Princess herself. He didn't remember much of their following argument, but he did remember the dialogue that had caused her to beg for forgiveness.
"Who do think you are?" he had screamed at her already tearful face. "You promise me all of these wonderful things of us spending the rest of our lives together, and instead you go running around leaving scars! I never thought you could break my heart like this! You go around, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart as if it's nothing!"
"Please Link," she had cried, causing more tears to fall from her face. "I thought you, of all people, would support me in this. I thought you would be happy."
"Happy?" he had screamed, pacing in front of where she sat on the stone bench. "How can I be happy when I know that this little 'bundle of joy' is not mine?"
Link had shaken as if it was the middle of Winter, but it was not from cold that his body was reacting this way.
"Link, you're shivering. You're going to catch a cold. Here, let's go inside…"
Link had stopped pacing then and had turned towards her, malice evident all over this face. "The only way, that I will catch a cold, is from the ice inside your sole Princess."
The Princess had gasped in shock and swallowed. "You don't mean that," she had replied slowly.
Link had then decided that he had had to leave. Regardless of his stance as the personal guardian of the Princess, regardless of the love that he felt for the girl standing in front of him, regardless of how much she had needed him; he knew that he had to leave.
He may have held the Triforce of Courage, but on that day Link knew he had been nothing but a coward. He had defeated monsters all over Hyrule, but he could do nothing to defeat the jealously and pain and anger that had swept his consciousness on that day.
"Don't come back for me Princess. We're done."
His parting words even now left a bitter taste in his mouth. And the words that he heard her scream as he left the Gardens still haunted him to this very day.
"Who do you think you are?"
Who do you think you are indeed, the little voice nagged at him.
A clearing of the throat behind him made Link stand to attention and turn briskly around. He was met with the vision of the Queen, still in her elaborate wedding dress, walking slowly towards him. Link urged himself to do something, say something, anything really: but his feet were rooted to their spot, and the beautiful being walking towards him captivated his heart and mind.
The Queen stopped right in front of him, and smiled nervously. She observed him, from head to toe and back again before timidly saying, "you came."
Link stopped himself from saying "of course", instead settling with, "well, you know. I hear you're asking all around if I'm anywhere to be found. Besides, it would be treasonous of me to not attend to my Queen when she needs it."
"I should send for the guards and have you arrested then."
It took Link a moment to fully process what his words could have implied and then the Queen's response. He supposed he deserved that.
"You know that's not what I meant. Things were different then."
"How?" The Queen took a couple of steps towards Link, so that now, they were face to face. "I turned to you in an hour of need and you just turned your back on me."
"You gave me no choice!" Link said angrily. He could almost feel his teeth grinding together as he spoke. "What was I supposed to do in that situation?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe comfort me and tell me you would be there for me?" The Queen was shouting now, and Link knew he had to respond in kind.
"Is that what you wanted? Is that what you want me to do right now? Well, guess what Princess, I have grown too strong over the past year to EVER fall back your arms."
He could see the Queen clenching her fits at her sides and griding her teeth, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. When she next spoke, Link could tell she was trying to not let her anger get the better of her.
"Queen."
"What?"
"I am your Queen now, Link. Not a Princess. You need to address me as such. I am not a child anymore."
Link raised his eyebrows before bowing his head slightly. "Of course. Anything for my Queen."
He made sure the last two words dripped with sarcasm, and he knew that the Queen heard it. Her eyes flared and she raised her nose higher with an air of superiority. She walked past Link down the path a little way before Link heard one of the most painful things he had ever heard: the sobs that were racking the Queen's body.
Link grimaced and turned around to see the Queen's icy exterior crumble before him into a puddle of wailing and howling. Link didn't have a choice but to go the Queen and wrap his strong arms around her, offering her silent comfort to the agonising pain she felt. For a time they just stood there, comforting each other, before Link realised that the same sensation from before was sneaking up on him again: completion.
"You know," the Queen said quietly, after her tears had finally calmed down, "after you left, I learned to live half alive. I didn't know what to do with myself. I just kept thinking…kept thinking…how… how much…"
"You wanted to see me one more time?"
Link had no idea how he had known that, but then, he guessed he had always known it. Who knew the number of nights he had tortured himself over the past year of dreams and fantasies of being reunited with the girl he knew and living the picture perfect life together? A love like theirs did not fade so easily, and if Link knew anything about his former charge, it was that she struggled with letting go of things just as much as he did.
Link felt the Queen nod her head against his chest; his shirt now covered with her make up and tears. She sniffed and Link looked down to meet her eyes. Her eyes had always been strikingly beautiful, and had always enchanted him from their very first meeting.
The Queen brought up one of her free hands and placed it on Link's cheek. He felt the electricity again run through his veins, and despite himself, he felt himself close his eyes and lean in to her touch.
"It took so long just to feel alright," she whispered. "To remember, how to put back the light in my eyes…"
With his eyes still closed Link could feel the Queen's other hand move to the other side of his face and bend it towards her own slowly. He felt their foreheads touch, and he knew that at any moment, his knees would buckle from being in such close proximity to her. He had long stopped breathing and his heart was moving at a million miles a minute. Some rash part of his brain called for him to get out of this situation, but all he could focus on was how close she was, and how she felt against his body.
"I wish," the Queen said, her voice barely audible now, "that I missed the first time that we kissed, but that day will always be in my memory."
"Mine too," and with that, Link gave in to the fight he had been waging all day and fiercely kissed the Queen with everything he could. He could feel her respond against his lips, almost as desperate as he was to get close. He felt her hands in his hair, and he relished it, letting out a small groan of pleasure before she stopped the kiss.
Both were breathing heavily, and Link could see the lust and affection in the Queen's eyes. He was sure that the new King had never kissed her like that, and he felt a twinge of smugness as the fact that he had that kind of affect on her.
But from that thought sprung two words that had Link stumbling away from the Queen as fast as he could.
New King.
The Queen was married now. What he had just done was high treason, and he could sent to death. Not that the Queen would ever turn him in: by her reaction to the whole situation he was pretty sure she had enjoyed it, but he couldn't do that again. It would cause him too much pain.
Link regained his balance and walked backwards a couple more steps before saying painfully, "we can't."
The Queen just stared at him with wide eyes, before saying, "Why not?" Link could tell there was hurt in her voice, but also a hint of frustration, and he thought carefully before responding. He didn't want to make this harder than it already was. "Because you broke all your promises."
Link could tell that the Queen got his meaning. Not only had she gotten pregnant, she had now married someone that wasn't him. Link knew it was slightly selfish, but he had pledged his life to the woman standing in front of him, and she had destroyed his very sole that day a year ago.
"But now you're back. Things can be different…"
"Just because I swore allegiance does not mean you get to get me back Prin – my Queen." Link took a deep breath before continuing. "I plan on returning to my home as soon as we have settled our business."
The Queen's eyes widened at the mention of their conversation being 'business'. Link watched her as she turned away from him, and brought her arms across her chest. He waited, breathing deeply, keeping his anger down as much as possible, repeating the same phrase: I'm not her ghost anymore. I'm not her ghost anymore. You don't need to care.
Who do you think you are? The little voice repeated at him.
Finally the Queen turned around and met Link's eyes coldly. Link had not been expecting that. He swallowed and looked towards the ground, ashamed that the Queen could strip him of his confident exterior just by looking at him. When she spoke, Link could hear frostiness and rage dripping off each word.
"When you left, one year ago, you accused me of running around leaving scars with my actions. Well, Sit Link, you should know that you yourself have made your own scars with your actions. After you left, not only did I sink into a depression, but I also failed to eat properly. I turned away from food completely, thinking I was better off starving myself than living with the little 'bundle of joy' as you called it, that wasn't my choice to bare."
She paused, to let her meaning sink in, and Link nodded slightly to indicate he had understood. Link swallowed again, not liking the direction this conversation was headed.
"A few months after you left, I started bleeding. A lot. The doctor's and nurses were called, and after a night of intense pain and suffering, I was told that I had lost my child."
Link closed his eyes and sighed inwardly with pain. He had not seen a child this entire night, she he knew it either had to be somewhere else or nowhere at all. He could only imagine what the Queen had gone through that night.
She continued, her cool façade gradually breaking. "You accuse me of collecting a jar of hearts, but it is you, Sir Link, whose collection is far greater than mine. When I lost my baby, you broke not only my heart once again, but my father's, my nursemaids, and the whole of Hyrule's hearts, because you decided to be coward. The death of my baby also belongs to you, for, if you had stayed, I would never have gone so far into the depths of depression as I did. You swore that you would do anything to protect me, but what did you do instead? You left like the coward you truly are." She was visibly crying now, but all Link could do was stare.
"If anything, Sir Link, you are the one that tears love apart. We could have been so happy….a little family…"
Link opened his eyes to let the tears he had been holding in for her whole speech drop over his cheeks. For the past year, he had never thought about their situation like that. He had always thought that it was the Queen's fault that he had left: her actions had made his decision inevitable. But for her to say outright that it was his fault that the baby she had been expecting had died because of him – had died because he had refused to do his duty – was too much for him to bare.
As if the Goddesses reflected his feelings of hopelessness, at that moment it started to pour with rain. Link stayed where he was though, staring at the face of the crying Queen, trying to show that he too, was hurt beyond repair.
Link saw two guards enter the Palace Gardens, no doubt checking to make sure the grounds were empty and everyone was safely inside. When they caught sight of the Queen, one of them shouted, "Your majesty! What are you doing out here? You must come inside. You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here any longer."
Link saw the Queen sniff and move her hands over her cheeks to get rid of her tears. Not that it mattered, Link noted, for the rain was far too hard now that their tears could be disguised as rain drops.
The Queen turned and addressed the guards, before they nodded in agreement and left. The Queen lifted up her now soaked wedding dress, and walked quickly towards Link. He could see on her face that she was still crying, but as soon as they dropped from her eyes they were lost amongst the rain.
"Sir Link, I please beg you to reconsider. The Palace needs a knight as strong as you here permanently. I – we – would like you to stay. Please."
Link frowned at her proposal. Her tone was so similar to that of a year ago, when she had begged him to stay for a different reason. But could he stay in a place that held so many happy yet painful memories? Could he last 10 years or more, watching her bring up her children and showing affection towards another man? Could he stay to watch her become the greatest Queen that Hyrule had ever seen?
No. He couldn't.
Looking into the Queen's pain filled eyes, Link saw the desperation. He saw how much she needed him. Link was sure his own eyes reflected the same sentiment. But the guilt he felt was slowly consuming him, and the thought of being reminded of that guilt everyday terrified him.
He needed to make it so he would never see her again.
"My Queen, " he said coldly. "I thank you for the offer, but the ice inside your sole cannot be easily forgotten." At this the Queen stumbled back in agony, shaking her head in anger. Link however, knew he had to continue. "I will be returning to my life away from Palace life and away from you. There I know I will be safe, and pain free. So my Queen, I decline your offer, and request that you don't come back looking for me, for I will be long gone."
"Don't come back at all! Do you hear me? Don't you DARE step foot in this castle again. EVER" The Queen shouted back and ran out of the gardens, doing her best, Link saw, to not fall over her large dress.
The rain continued to pelt Link's face as he looked up at the heavens and cried towards the Goddesses, "Are you happy now?" The tears now cascaded down his face and he flung himself down onto the stone path he was standing on, and cradled him self until he could stop his tears from falling easily.
Quietly, the little voice asked him again, who do you think you are?
Link stopped his rocking and looked up towards the sky again, and felt his left hand grow warm. He knew now that Farore had been pestering him all night with this question, and he had to answer it correctly for her to leave him alone.
I am Sir Link. The saviour of Hyrule. Bound to do your duty he thought.
Who do you think you are?
Link growled at being asked again. As much as he loved the Goddesses, they could be very frustrating, and at a time like this, he didn't really feel up to being harassed by them.
I am guilty of breaking the heart of my one true love, he thought, shame ripping through his body like a current.
Who do you think you are?
Link was taken aback at being at being asked a third time. He was sure that him admitting his guilt would be what Farore had been looking for. He stood up, and wracked his brain trying to find a suitable answer that would please the Goddesses and leave him to dwell in his own self-pity.
It finally came to him just as the rain started to lessen its downfall.
Link steeled himself, looked up at the sky and thought, who do I think I am? I am both things that I have already said, but I am also courageous enough to walk away from something that causes me pain.
Link braced himself for another question, but the little voice remained silent, and Link just sat on the path in the Garden, willing the pain in his heart to evaporate just as the rain had.