A/N: (Author's Note is very long here)
Tenten: No, we didn't make this up at 4 AM or after a long day in the sun again… we made it up this morning after a long night of graham crackers!
Temari: Not just any graham crackers! They were chocolate chip bunnies.
Tenten: Yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy!
Temari: Now you're just being creepy, Tenten!
Tenten: Those bunnies haven't worn off yet, Temari.
Temari: Great… well, try to get a grip on yourself, will you? People are reading this!
Tenten: They are?!
Temari: Why do you think we're doing this? Now, perhaps we should get to the story…
Tenten: Right. Okay, well this is about Lee and Guy and a piece of pie.
Temari: What?! No it's not! Where did the pie come from?
Tenten: Teehee. Well, I like pie. Any who, (the pie isn't in the story though) it's about how Guy-Sensei tells Rock Lee a bedtime story to help him get to sleep. It's about if Guy were Hokage and all the wacky things that would happen. Wow I talk a lot.
Temari: You sure do. Wow… Guy as Hokage… that's a scary thought. I'm glad I'm not from the Leaf Village!
Tenten: HEY! Anyway, enjoy the story people of Naruto FFN!
Temari: I'm really sorry about this. Next time, I'll hide the chocolate chip bunnies! Just kidding, Tenten.
Tenten: …
Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.
It was a very still, hot night in the Hidden Leaf Village, and Rock Lee could not – no matter how hard he tried – get to sleep!
"I know the perfect person who can solve this problem!" Lee said to himself. He threw himself out of bed and walked to Guy-Sensei's house in his green pajamas, green slippers, orange nightcap and teddy bear named Raisin.
Luckily, no one was awake to see him. That is, except his friend Gaara, who watched in silence from a nearby rooftop as Lee made his way resolutely across the street to Guy's house. Gaara just shook his head in bewilderment and went back to staring at the moon.
In a few minutes, Lee was knocking on the door to Guy's house. "Guy-Sensei? Are you awake?" he called.
"INTRUDER!"
In a split-second, Guy burst through the door and had Lee in a headlock. "Oh, it's just you, Lee," Guy said. "How ya doing?" Even in the dark, his teeth sparkled and shone.
"Oh, Sensei!" Lee cried. "No matter what I do, I cannot get to sleep! It is terrible! Please, can you help me?" Lee sniffed and rubbed his eyes sadly.
Guy gazed down at his student sympathetically. Suddenly, his eyes narrowed and he held up his index finger as he spoke. "I know just what to do, Lee!"
Guy quickly pulled Lee inside and sat him on the couch. Guy laughed and stood next to him, his hands on his hips. "I'm going to tell you a bedtime story!"
Lee crumpled his eyebrows in confusion. "Um, Guy-Sensei, I think I am too old for that."
"Are you doubting your Sensei's idea?"
"NO, OF COURSE NOT!" Lee answered, jumping up off the couch. "Never, Guy-Sensei!"
"That's my boy," Guy said, patting him on the head. "Now sit down before you get too excited or you'll never get to sleep."
"Yes, Sir!" Lee said, saluting his teacher. He obeyed the order and plopped down onto the couch.
"Now, then," Guy pulled up a chair in front of the couch and sat down on it. "What kind of story would you like to hear? Princesses, knights, dashing young fellows like me…?"
Lee tapped his chin in thought. "I want to hear a story about you, Sensei!"
"Perfect! However, I have already told you all of my real adventures, so I'll just have to make one up."
Lee ooh-ed. His eyes grew very large.
"Okay," Guy said. "Once upon a time, in a land called Konoha, there was the most handsome and heroic man alive. And he was Hokage. His name… was Might Guy."
Lee instantly sat up. "You were the Hokage?!"
"Lee, don't get too excited," Guy said. Lee leaned back again. "Yes, I was the Hokage…"
After I was made Hokage, I decided that the people of this village had it way too easy up to this point. Some hard work and goal-setting was what needed to be done!
During my first proclamation as Hokage, I passed a regulation that everyone in the entire village had to wear our multi-purpose green jumpsuits!
"That is wonderful!"
"Don't interrupt, Lee."
But yes, it was very wonderful. Not only were the suits breezy and easy to train in, but also they made the wearer look almost as fashionable as me!
Everyone loved this first law that I passed. Except, maybe, Kakashi. But he always was a sore loser.
"This is great!" Naruto exclaimed, checking himself out in the mirror. "I've always wanted to wear one of these!"
"Golly gee willikers!" Sasuke said, "This is way better than my old ninja clothes I used to wear!"
"Eh," Kakashi said.
"Guy-Sensei," Lee spoke up, "Do you not think that you are being a little unrealistic? I mean, Sasuke – "
"Well," Guy said, sighing, "I was going to have Sakura fall madly in love with you, but…"
Lee's eyes grew wide again. "No, no, no! I like the way you tell it!"
"I knew you would," Guy said. His teeth sparkled.
Rock Lee—
"That is me!"
"I know! Don't interrupt!"
Rock Lee was my new assistant, and he always took notes.
"That is exactly what I would do!"
"LEE!"
"Sorry, Sensei! I will be quiet!"
Sakura Haruno was also working in the hospital nearby, and she came by every day to give me reports… and to say hi to Lee, because she was madly in love with him. When Lee turned 25 and Sakura was 24, he proposed and she said yes. They got married a year later and—
Lee sniffled and blew into a tissue.
"Lee, I thought you liked this story!"
"I do," Lee sobbed. "I love this story! Please, go on!"
As I was saying, they got married a year later and then a year after that they had three children. Their names were Rock Lee JR, Rock Sakura JR and Rock Guy. Of course, you named your third child after your beloved Sensei.
But back to me. After all, this story is about the handsomest man in the universe… yours truly. But anyway, as a part of my new training regimen for the village, I passed a law that every person in the village had to run five hundred laps around the village every day! Our shinobi were soon the strongest and the fastest in the land.
"That was very smart of you, Guy-Sensei," Lee nodded happily.
"Thank you, Lee, I thought so myself. But, YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP IF YOU DON'T BE QUIET RIGHT NOW AND STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"
Lee was wide-eyed again.
"Of course," Guy said, scratching his head, "You'll never get to sleep with me yelling like this, either."
"Th-That is true," Lee stammered.
In addition to rigorous physical training, I implemented certain rules to promote dental hygiene. For instance, I made it mandatory that all citizens of Konoha had to brush their teeth five times a day!
Then I challenged Kakashi Hatake in front of the entire village to a game of Go Fish. I won, of course. And Kakashi had to eat old mushrooms in front of everyone who witnessed the Go Fish battle.
Kakashi's breath stunk for a week. Not that I stuck around to smell it, of course. But I heard the stories…
At the end of every day, people would stop by my office to tell me how great I was.
"You're the best Hokage ever!" Shino said.
"Can I have your autograph?" Gaara said. Of course, he was from out-of-town, but he was more than happy to get into a green jumpsuit.
Kankuro even came up to me and begged me to come and be the Kazekage as well! But I had to respectfully decline, as my place was here.
The End.
"So, how'd you like that story, Lee?" Silence. "Lee?" Guy looked down at his pupil and realized that the drool coming from Lee's mouth meant that he was fast asleep.
"Oh, no!" Guy whispered. "He's drooling all over my couch, and all over his teddy bear Raisin!"
But Raisin didn't seem to mind, so Guy went back to his room and fell asleep thinking about the day's events.
In about ten minutes, there was a knock on his bedroom door. Lee entered with a soggy Raisin.
"Guy-Sensei? Are you awake?"
"I am now…"
"Please do not put me in a headlock."
"I won't, Lee. But what is it this time? I thought you were asleep."
"I was, but I need a glass of water!"
Guy groaned. He'll be up again in five minutes having to go to the bathroom, he thought. I'll have to think of another story.
A/N:
Tenten: I was laughing my head off. Temari, can you get my head? It's all the way across the room.
Temari: Get it yourself! Yes, I was laughing pretty hard, too. I think I cracked a few ribs. But it sure was fun!
Tenten: Well, I have to go fetch my head and Temari needs a rib replacement. We'll see you later!
Temari: Do you think Tsunade specializes in laughed off heads and cracked ribs?
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