A/N: Something I need to get out of my system. Frankly, this is an attempt to remove my Writer's Block, and nothing more. If you laugh, I have succeeded. Please review and let me know.

Exhibit A

Hermione looks into the eyes of the dark, handsome stranger, and immediately falls into a swoon. He is just...so handsome. And mysterious. And the way he sweet-talks her into his arms...to die for.

Harry glares. What could this feeling inside him possibly be? Surely he isn't...jealous?

He's jealous.

Then Harry overhears a conversation between the dark, handsome stranger and Voldemort. The Dark Lord tells the stranger to seduce Hermione and thereby get to Harry and kill him. Harry tells Hermione this. She doesn't believe him, and stalks off to go seek comfort in the stranger, who then kidnaps her. Hermione thinks to herself, 'Oh, why didn't I listen to Harry? He's always right. Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Harry is PERFECT! I shall marry him.'

Harry rescues Hermione from the dark, handsome stranger's evil lair stronghold, killing the stranger in the process. Hermione swoons into Harry's arms and says, "Thank you for rescuing me! I love you!"

Harry blinks.

"Excuse me? You love me now? Literally yesterday you were going on and on about how I'm stupid and 'just jealous' and all that crap, and now that I'm telling the truth and saving your ass, all of a sudden I'm irresistible, is that it?"

"Well...yes."

"Oh."

They get married and have hundreds of children.

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Exhibit B

Hermione looks into the eyes of the dark, handsome stranger, and immediately falls into a swoon. He is just...so handsome. And mysterious. And the way he sweet-talks her into his arms...to die for.

Harry glares. What could this feeling inside him possibly be? Surely he isn't...jealous?

He's jealous.

Harry goes to Hermione and says, "The dark handsome stranger is a tramp! I love you! Marry me and bear me hundreds of children!"

Hermione replies, "Yes, alright then."

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Exhibit C

Hermione looks in to the eyes of the dark, handsome stranger, and immediately slaps him. "How dare you attempt to seduce me while I am in love with Harry Potter, who is infinitely more dark and handsome than you?"

"And more dashing," puts in Harry.

The stranger hangs his head in shame and exits stage left. Harry kisses Hermione. They get married and have hundreds of children.

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Exhibit D

There is no dark, handsome stranger.

Harry and Hermione get married and have hundreds of children.

THE END.