WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS PRETTY GRAPHIC AND MAYBE EVEN TRIGGERING MATERIAL! IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE WHEN IT COMES TO THIS KIND OF STUFF, I WOULD ADVICE YOU NOT TO READ THIS STORY! THIS IS THE LAST AND FINAL WARNING!

Hello there stranger :)

So I've been feeling terrible because of some problems that started the last week... And this is what I came up with.. It's not anything happy at all and I do have to put a warning in here because this material might be triggering for some people..

You could see this as DenNor, but there is nothing fluffy or anything that directly states they are in a relationship... So yeah..

For those of you who do decide to continue, I hope you will enjoy this dark corner of my mind~

5 missed calls, one message.

''Norge, it's me again… It's been a long time since we've talked.. Ehm.. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to come over sometime soon.. I know Ice is still dealing with the volcanic eruption from a few days ago and you've got a lot on your mind, but the truth is… I'm lonely, Norge… Nothing's been going right since Sve and Fin kicked me out of their lives.. I'm afraid the pills and therapy stopped working a long time ago… I'm alone, Norge.. It's like the only thing I can still feel is just the darkness of my own heart and the cruelty of my own existence..'' There was a long silence on the other end. After what seemed like forever, Lukas make out what seemed to be sobbing. He hadn't heard Mathias like this in a long time. He couldn't even recall the last time he'd heard the Dane cry so helplessly. He sounded like a lost puppy. Then the voice continued; ''I don't know what to do anymore, Norge. I try… Every single day.. To make it all better, but it only gets worse.. You're all I have, Lukas.. I just…,'' he took a deep breath, ''I can't continue my life like this… Day after day, I smile, laugh, pretend to be happy.. But all this pretending brings more sorrow.. The truth is… I don't want to live any longer.. Not like this…'' There was a short silence, in which the Dane took his time to sniff and take a deep breath to pull himself together. ''Please tell the others I'm sorry.. For everything… And.. If it means anything to you… I'm sorry…''

The phone make a high peep to announce the message had ended. Lukas didn't know when, or even how it had happened, but he was now on his knees on the cold floor, the phone in his shaking hands and his eyes hurt from keeping them open so long.

As fast as he thought was humanly - or in-humanly in his case - possible, he dialed Mathias' house phone. No one answered. He tried calling his mobile phone, also to no avail. The damn Dane turned off his phone, Lukas thought instantly.

''Emil!'' he screamed upstairs, ''I have to go to Dan's right now! Something's wrong!''

There was no time for an explanation of some sorts. There was no time. It seemed rather funny to him, how a nation lived for centuries, but still he found himself to be short on time ever so often. He sped down the highway as fast as his car could, not caring about any possible danger for himself or the pouring rain that limited his sight even more. There was only one thing on his mind, and that one thing was Mathias.

~0o0~

Mathias had locked himself in the bathroom of his large house. It was unusually cold in the place he used to call home that night, but that could've just been his imagination. Before he locked himself up, he had tried calling Lukas. Somehow a simple talk to his sarcastic Norwegian friend, who he considered to be somewhat like a younger brother, always calmed him down when he was feeling his absolute worst. This time, though, Lukas did not pick up. He assumed it was because of Emil, who was laying in bed with a burning fever, but after trying to call him multiple times, he just assumed even his best friend had had enough of him. After that he took a quick stroll through his house, the woods around it. Every step in the cosy living room reminded him of the good times he and his 4 best friends, or even brothers, had experienced in here. This one time when Berwald helped him put his furniture - obviously from IKEA - together, because he was the only one who knew how to do it correctly. He still had a small bump in the floor that was hidden by the carpet from when they dropped a bottle of expensive Danish liquor on the floor after finally finishing up all the furniture. Even Berwald had flashed a smile because of the Dane's extreme reaction to the, as he called it himself, 'Evil bottle jump-scare'. They had been so close to each other before, all the Nordics together. Mathias always said they were unstoppable when they worked together as a team, but they were so very different. If it ever happened, it had to be a very special occasion, like that one time when even Estonia jumped in to celebrate Emil's birthday together. If he wasn't in such a hurry to get to the Dane's house as soon as possible, he would have called the others to jump in and help him.

When he finally returned from what was meant to be his last glance at his house and the beautiful world around it, he was absolutely sure of it. There was no going back now. Never again. It was over. After all those wars, all the times he should have died but survived, all the shit he went through, he knew it was over for him. He'd lived his life.

Slowly, but certain of what he would do, he walked over to the bathroom. On his way through the house, he took off his jacket and let it drop on the floor, kicked off his shoes and rolled up the sleeves of his red shirt. Scars marked his wrists and arms. Some were old, some were very fresh. It had been about 6 years ago when he first fell into depression. It was like being a bird that happily flew from one place to another and then lost it's wing. He had been in this free fall for those past 6 years, and now it just got too much for him to handle. He started hurting himself in an attempt to change the pain he felt mentally into physical pain. That worked for a few months, leading up to today. Now, he had finally snapped. There was no use in living as you didn't have any reason to. When the thought of ending his own life first made its way into his head, he had said to himself that his family was the reason. But now that Berwald and Tino shut him about because they thought he had a bad influence on Sealand, and he barely saw Lukas and Emil anymore, he finally faced the truth. No one would miss him. The only reason he was still here was because of the cruel reality he had to face day after day, year after year, decade after decade and century after century.

Slowly, as if touching a small, fragile kitten, he traced the lines of his scars. It felt weird, different to touch such sensitive skin, to know it will never fully heal. But neither would he. No, it was too late for something like that. It was like bend or break. Life had been bending him, but now he finally snapped. There was no way anyone could fix him up. He'd always be mentally scarred.

With shaking hands, he reached for a razor blade and held the reflecting object right in front of his face to study it as if had never seen it before. ''Heh..'' he chuckled and held up his left arm. ''One last time…'' he muttered to himself and slowly lowered the sharp object on his arm. By now, he didn't even flinch anymore. He'd learned to look through the initial pain, see the beauty in his own blood. After all, his blood was what kept him sane.

After drawing some lines of blood on his skin he let the bathtub fill up with water that was almost too hot. He smiled down to his wrists. ''Can't I ever be free…?'' he muttered to himself. ''Wait and see…''

With his clothes still on, he stepped into the bathtub with a few bottles of pills in his arms. His blood colored the water a dark shade of red, that reminded him of his own flag. Sobbing quietly, he opened the first bottle and shook some pills into his hand. He didn't bother to count them, as long as there were many. With a quick move, he swallowed them down and did the same with multiple other medicines.

Soon it'll all be over, he thought to himself as he leaned back and closed his eyes to enjoy the warmth surrounding him. Wasn't this the best way to feel; warm and cozy..

~0o0~

After what seemed like another decade, Lukas arrived at Mathias' home. As quick as humanly possible, he got out of his car and almost stumbled in the process. Please, Dan.. You have to be okay…

At first, he tried ringing the doorbell to see if Mathias would answer. When the house remained silent, he decided to let himself in with the keys he knew were hidden somewhere above the door.

With shaking hands, he turned the key and opened the somewhat squeaky door and didn't bother to take off his shoes or his soaked jacket and left puddles of water behind as he ventured further into the house.

''Mathias?!'' he called out while entering the living room. A few candles and the fireplace were lit, that meant Mathias had to be in the house. ''Mathias, where are you?! Answer me!'' He began to get worried, but told himself he was just annoyed because the Dane caused him so much trouble… Again.

There was a soft thump from upstairs. Lukas turned his head in the direction of the sound at the speed of light and listened closely if there was more movement coming from that same direction.

''Mathias?'' he asked again, softer and more alert this time. What if someone had broken into the house and attacked Mathias? Lukas quickly grabbed Mathias' beloved ax, that was standing against the wall near the fireplace and took off upstairs. It was a little too heavy for him to carry, but in all his distress he still made it upstairs in just a few seconds. He lifted the ax over his shoulder, so he could swing it at someone if there was any need to and proceeded further into the house. It was so quiet and dark, it didn't even feel like the Dane's house anymore. The atmosphere had changed completely, it felt so heavy and there was so much sadness lingering here.

He entered Mathias' bedroom. It was typically Mathias. The room had many shades of red in it, another fireplace and a big king sized bed. It reminded Lukas of all the times he had come over to watch movies with Mathias, to comfort him when he was feeling down, to care for him whenever he was sick, or to just chat with him over big mugs of coffee. He always felt comfortable here.

A thud came from the direction of the bathroom and there was something that sounded like water. ''Mathias? I-Is that you?'' he called out. All this silence was truly making him nervous..

With a few strides, he entered the bathroom, ready to use his magic on anyone or anything that might attack him. What he found, was nothing he could have expected.

''M-Mathias?'' he squeaked at the figure of his best friend, lying in the bath will all his clothes still on, his wrists slit and countless empty bottles off pills on the floor. ''Mathias!'' he cried out and ran towards his friend, jumping into the bath behind him to get his friend to sit up. With a shaky voice and hot tears running down his face, he started going through all the spells he could think off to heal Mathias' wounds, but all the sadness he felt made him unable to perform them correctly.

''Mathias, please… You can't do this…'' With quick hands, he tried to shove a few fingers down the other's throat to make him throw up as much off the pills as he could. ''Come on… Don't do this to me…'' he squeaked in a very high voice. The body in his arms didn't move an inch. ''It's not too late, Mathias.. Please, don't leave me…''

With all he had, he cast a spell to make the wounds on Mathias' wrists heal as much as possible, only leaving what looked like scars and bruises. ''Come on, you stupid Dane…'' he tried, hoping it would help slightly if he acted like his usual self. When he looked at the water, he noticed it had turned completely red. There was so much blood.. To think he was bathing in the blood of his best friend, it broke him. He started slapping the other in the face, screaming he had to wake up and he's kill him for this.

''You can't do this to me… To all of us…'' he sobbed in Mathias' wet blond hair, ''It might not seem like it, but Sve and Fin are worried about you… We all are…'' His tears rolled down his cheeks and into the water, making a ploink sound with every tear that hit the surface. ''Please, Dan…'' he whispered, ''You can't leave me…''

No response.

''You're… You're all that I have, Dan… Without you… I don't know what to do anymore…''

He held the limp body of his friend close, his arms wrapped around him like metal chains.

''I can't live without you….''

He slid his hand in Mathias' and curled his fingers to hold it.

So cold…

Sobbing loudly, he tried to get Mathias to throw up again. His body had a reaction, but Mathias didn't seem to have any control of it. An empty body, without a soul. Or so it seemed..

''Please Mathias… You stupid idiot… We love you.. All four of us.. You're our brother…'' he mumbled and kissed the back of his head. ''Please come back to me… Please come back… Please… Don't leave me all alone…''

Please.. Let me switch with him… Let him live… I'll do anything… Please…

He shut his eyes and repeated the words over and over again in his head.

''Please come back to me, Mathias… I can't do this without you…''

For those of you who have made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read whatever dark story I have created~

If you have any tips, comments, or if you have noticed I made an error somewhere, I would love it if you could tell me. I really enjoy reading whatever people think about the stuff I write, and I would love it if you left a review. 99% of the time, I will respond, unless I can't remember if I already responded.. Hehehehe...

Anyways, thank you so so so much!

Have a unicorn-tastic day~!