This is my first Lewis fanfic, I'm new to the show despite being a brit myself so please bare with me xx

…

My Strongest Weakness

Chapter 1

Lewis/Hathaway

…

Beep…beep…beep, the continuous sound of the machine was all that could be heard as DS James Hathaway sat very still in the hard plastic chair beside the hospital bed of his boss. He could feel his eyes becoming heavy as the rain battered on the window behind him. A warm hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality, looking up to see Chief Superintendent Innocent standing beside him.

"Ma'am, sorry I was erm…"

"Don't you think it's time you went home and got some sleep, you're exhausted?"

"I'm fine."

James turned his attention back to Lewis, pain gracing his eyes as he looked at all the tubes and wires connected to Robbie, as the beeping continued. Jean pulled a chair across and moved to sit next to James, turning her attentions to her young Sergeant.

"James, it's late…you should go home."

"I'm not leaving; I want to be here when he wakes up."

"I understand that…but do you think the first thing he needs to see when he does wake up is his blood all over you?"

James turned as though he was about to say something but turned his gaze back to the bed just as quickly.

"This is my entire fault." James answered quietly.

"No James, what happened today was not your fault…in any way."

"How can you say that, I pushed Anderson too far and because of that he shot DI Lewis."

"That man killed his wife, he strangled her to death. Now you and Robbie worked endlessly to find the killer and you did nothing wrong, you both did your job."

"I pushed him."

"That's your job, to need to push a little to get a result, and you got yours, it's just unfortunate that it didn't turn out the way we expected."

"He just…the gun just appeared from nowhere. I didn't have time to process what was happening before DI Lewis pushed me out of the way."

"He saved your life."

"And now he might lose his."

Jean moved to place her hand on his arm as he lowered his head, she watched as a few stray tears fell from his eyes, trying his best to hide it from her.

"James there's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt…she said that "There is nothing to regret, either for those who go or for those who are left behind."

James looked up at her, a small smile on her face as he sat quietly. "I'm not entirely sure what it is you're trying to say ma'am."

"I think you know."

"I…"

"James, you and Robbie have worked alongside one another for 3 years now and in that time you've been there for him as he's dealt with Val's death, he saved your life during the fire. You spend more time together than most married couples."

"Ma'am I don't…"

"I know…"

"You know?"

"Your feelings you have for him, perhaps after today's events it might be time to finally tell him how you feel."

"How did you even know how…"

"I didn't make Chief Superintendent for nothing Sergeant." She smiled.

…

As the night drew on, Jean had decided to go by James flat and grab him a change of clothing, when she arrived back at the hospital James was asleep in the chair, his head resting on the edge of the bed, Robbie's hand an inch from James head. She placed the bag on the vacant chair and shook James gently.

"Mmmmm, what…"

"It's Jean, I brought you a change of clothes, they're in the bag."

"You didn't have to do that." He said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Well, you have them now. I can stay if you'd like…company."

"I'll be okay, thank you."

"Alright, well…take tomorrow off…I'll organise cover for you."

"You don't have too…"

"I insist, I'll drop by tomorrow and check on you both."

Jean was just about out the door when James called her back.

"Ma'am, how long have you known?"

"About your feelings for Robbie...a while, tell him James, remember…regret nothing." She smiled as she left the room.

James smiled at her as she left; he looked at his watch and noticed it was nearly 1am. He reached up and took a gentle hold of Robbie's hand, closing his eyes tightly as he let out a long sigh.

"Come on Sir, wake up now…do it for me."

…

The sound of coughing brought James out of his deep sleep, opening his eyes slowly to see his DI staring down at him. James was on his feet in seconds and at Robbie's bedside, grabbing some water. He gently placed his arm at the back of Robbie's head and helped him as he took a few sips of water.

"Thanks."

"Are you okay, take it easy okay." James instructed as Robbie laid back slowly.

He watched James closely as he set the glass of water to the side, noticing the slight shake in James hands.

"Hathaway…I'm alright."

James looked at him, his features and composure moments from breaking.

"I just…I really didn't think you'd make it Sir."

"Hey, it'll take more than a bullet to get rid."

James tried his best to laugh but all he wanted to do was cry.

"I juts wanted to make sure you'd be alright Sir, I wanted to wait until you woke up. I guess I should go home now, try and sleep and you need to rest also."

James suddenly came over all awkward and Robbie couldn't understand why, or what he had said to make him behave like he was.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to I…"

"You should rest, I'll see you soon Sir."

Robbie watched as his Sergeant walked out quickly, the door closing gently behind him.

Over the next week Dr Hobson and Jean dropped in on Robbie each day to keep him up to date with what was happening at work, James never came back to visit him and the day he was being released when Jean had come by to take him home, he decided enough was enough and asked her.

"Well, I asked you a question?" Robbie stated.

"Look, perhaps I'm the wrong person to ask."

"Really, because I think you're the only one to ask. Every time I've asked about Hathaway, you've made excuses for him which tells me you know more than you're saying."

"Alright fine, you have worked alongside one another for 3 years now, you spend so much time together, you're close."

"Well yeah we are but…"

"Allow to me to be bold, I want an honest answer from you…how much does he mean to you?"

"You what ma'am?"

"Honestly…how much does James mean to you, do you care for him as a friend…or something more."

"Ma'am I'm not sure what you think you know but."

"That young cares a great deal about you, and when I say a great deal I do mean great?"

"Hang on, are you saying."

"He loves you yes, now I don't have a problem with that concerning your working together, I know you are both the ultimate professionals."

"He loves me…me, why?"

"Why, Robbie you are a lovely man, you're like, caring, understanding and you're there for that young man whenever he needs you, whether he asks for your help or not. The reason he hasn't been in a relationship is because…well, he's already in one, accept neither of you are actually aware of it. You spend all day together and you spend evenings together, tell me you don't feel anything for him."

Robbie was so shocked he didn't know what to say, how hadn't he seen it and why hadn't James told him.

"Robbie…"

"Sorry ma'am, miles away."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking…honestly, I don't know what to think."

"Is there a small chance you might feel something for him?"

"I've never had feelings for another man in me life ma'am."

"This isn't just any man we're talking about, it's James."

Jean moved closer, placing her hand on Robbie's arm. "Look, if you feel anything for him, and by the way…there is absolutely nothing wrong in that, then you ought to tell him."

Robbie looked at her, concern written all over her face as he bend down and picked up his bag.

"We best get going ma'am." He said, walking to the door.

Jean sighed as she smiled softly at him, following him out.

…

The drove along the streets of Oxford in silence, Jean looked towards him every now and again to see him staring at the road in front of him, his mind clearly far away form the present.

"You're place is just on the right yes?" Jean asked.

"It is…actually ma'am would you mind turning left instead."

"But I thought it was…"

"Take me to his place…please."

"Say no more."

She gave him a small smile as she followed his instructions, turning left. They drove another 10 minutes before she pulled up outside the flat of James Hathaway, turning off the engine; she looked over at Robbie who had the look of fear on his face.

"Robbie, it'll be alright…just talk to him."

"What do I say to him?"

"How about starting with hello, that usually does the trick."

"I don't know if I can do this."

"You won't know until you try, just take it slowly."

Robbie nodded and gave his thanks for picking him up before getting out the car, a pained look crossing his face as he did so.

"Would you like a help up to his flat?" She joked.

"I think I can manage ma'am, thank you."

She waited for him to step inside before starting the engine and driving off. Robbie climbed the stairs a little at a time as he was still a little weak; he came to James door, standing staring at it for a few minutes while he got the courage to knock. Wrapping lightly on the door, he took steady breathes as he waited for an answer. James was reading when he heard the faint knocking, he sat his book down on the coffee table and walked down the narrow hall and peered through the peep hole to see his DI standing on the other side. He closed his eyes briefly before taking a breath and opening the door.

"Sir…I didn't know you were being released."

"Well maybe if you'd visited you would, can I come in?"

James could only nod his head as he stepped aside, allowing Robbie to enter his domain. Robbie turned around to speak a little too quickly and dropped his bag as he grabbed his side, putting his other hand on the wall for support. James quickly closed the door and was at his side in immediately, his hand warm on Robbie's back.

"Sir…."

"I'm alright Sergeant, just over did it?"

"Let's go through to the lounge Sir."

"No, I need to know…why didn't you come to see me in hospital." He asked, straightening himself.

"It got busy at work Sir and I…."

"Don't give me that crap James, I want the truth…the real truth."

Robbie very rarely used his full name, so he was a little surprised when he heard it. He saw the concern mixed with fear in Robbie's eyes as he started him down in his own hallway.

"I'm waiting Sergeant?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, I blame myself Sir."

"For what?"

"This, you…what happened to you. You got injured because of me, if you hadn't pushed me out of the way then…"

"Then you'd be dead and I wasn't havin' that."

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry for what happened to you."

James leaned against the wall, running a hand through his short blonde hair as Robbie came to stand in front of him; Robbie was so close James could hardly breathe…Robbie's dark eyes boring in to his soul.

"I had an interesting chat with CSI Innocent today, she told me some home truths, some feelings that seem to be running around at the moment concerning you and me…is it true?"

"Sir?"

"Don't do that, don't let's pretend yeah, for once let's be completely honest with each other. I want to hear you say it, I want you to tell me here and now how…how you really feel about me."

James just wanted the ground to swallow him up there and then, of all the moments he's dreamed of when he would tell Robbie his true feelings, standing in his hallway, his heart about to explode in his chest wasn't it. Everything inside him was telling him to let this whole thing go, to walk away now. He turned to walk towards the lounge but was stopped when Robbie caught his arm, he was about to respond when Robbie stepped forward, capturing his lips, James felt himself being backed against the wall as he responded immediately to the kiss. James felt Robbie's hands on his waist as James hands trailed up his back, finding their way to cup Robbie's face in his hands, pulling him back.

"I love you Sir, you are…my strongest weakness, that's what I wanted to tell you, what I've wanted to say for a very long time."

"And it took me getting shot for you to finally tell me?"

"I didn't want to tell you then…the idea that you might not feel the same about me made me…I don't know, I'm sorry."

"Listen, you've got nothing to apologise for okay, nothing. I just wish you'd told me sooner, the time we've wasted man."

"So, does this mean…"

"That I love you too, yeah…that's what it means. Now do us a favour and get me a seat, me sides killing me here."

James laughed lightly as he put his arm around Robbie's waist, guiding him through to the lounge, with a promise for so much more later.

…

-Fin