Civil blood makes civil hands unclean
Rusty had followed his mother down to her car. Gustavo had been taken by Julio to the morgue to see and identify his sister. He wasn't sure, only could assume that they would do a DNA test before officially releasing Alice's – Marianna's boy to him. Sharon hadn't said much after. Rusty wanted to apologize but Flynn walked into her office before he had a chance and closed the door.
Sharon had her purse on her shoulder, case files in it no doubt. The keys in her hand jingled as she came to a stop. The telltale beep of her car being unlocked sounded loud, an echo in the structure. His own car wasn't parked too far. Sharon had given him a parking pass, giving him access to the garage and a parking space for when he came. The back door opened, she threw her stuff in and slammed the door, effectively making him jump.
"I'll meet you at home, okay?" Sharon questioned.
She gave him that sad smile for times she only reserved when she was truly heartbroken. It was the same look she gave him a few times a couple years ago when he was getting the letters. Again during the months Stroh went missing. He was still missing but she was tenser as the time went on.
Rusty felt sick.
He was a journalist and journalists' follow up on leads. Rusty had a hunch; it was purely a hunch to change the outgoing message on Alice's – Marianna's phone. He didn't expect to have met Gustavo so quickly. He wasn't expecting all this information about her past to be dumped into his lap in such a large mass. It made him feel accomplished; it made him feel guilty too.
Lying to Sharon made him sick. She hadn't asked how he met Gustavo. How that came around. She couldn't. She wasn't supposed to get involved. But every so often, on nights she made it home or wasn't out with Flynn, he'd give her bits and pieces. She talked about her case and he talked about his. It was them living in peace.
Sharon couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that here was this girl's brother. He sat in front of her for the better part of an hour telling her all about who Marianna was. The lively girl who he had to protect but couldn't because he was a coward. He put himself first instead of helping his sisters. He told Sharon about the kind of man his mother's boyfriend, probably ex-boyfriend now, was. Loud. Abrasive. Violent. He showed her the cigarette burns he got too. It made her sick.
Andy was her sounding board. If nights came around, where something didn't settle right with her, he'd be the one to hear it. They had gotten into a yelling match over Julio. They laughed about the wedding party that went to hell in a hand-basket. He expressed his frustration about not being able to go to the Dodger game. She promised him one in the future. He held her as she cried over the fallen officers, the one's she had never met, but knew purely on reputation. This is what they did for each other. Not because they were in a relationship, but because this is what they would do for each other anyway.
It was why she was knocking on his door not even an hour after he left the precinct. Barely half an hour had passed and here she was on his front door step. The Alice case had taken a toll on him. He had thanked her that night, just over a year ago now, for agreeing to the idea of his. She meant she wanted to know who this girl was and now that they did, no one knew what to do.
This was one of the times he wanted a drink. Or well, in the past, would go to the closest bar, land at the bottom of the bottle and go into work the next morning with a killer hangover. That was then. This is now. Now he just paced his home, waiting to pass out. Or he'd go out with Provenza and watch Provenza drink himself to the bottom of the bottle. Or as of late, talk with Sharon.
"The kid is up to something," Andy said accusingly, a continuation from their conversation in her office.
"Andy," Sharon sighed, taking off her coat and hanging it up on the back of one of his chairs. "He just – he found her brother. He gave her a name."
"Her name was Alice," Andy said, shaking his head. "We said goodbye to Alice."
Sharon paused. She shook her head and took a deep breath. "We said goodbye to a victim of a malicious murder who had no name. She was a number, Andy."
He looked at her like she was someone else. It shot through her in a wave of pain. Steeling herself against it, Sharon stood taller, challenging him. This was a fight she was prepared for. In the last year she expected it. A meeting was called for and so was bed.
"That was the only fact," she said, stepping up to him, pressing her palms flat against his chest. A motion she wanted to do earlier but couldn't because her office was open to the others. "The fact is now, we have a name. A girl down with Morales has a name and we can say goodbye to her."
Andy didn't like it and she knew he wasn't going to.
"The fact is, is that Marianna Wallace was drowned in a pool and stuffed into a garbage can. That's the fact." Sharon said, rubbing his arm up and down, keeping one hand on his chest. "You don't have to like it, but welcome to life."
It broke him. He laughed. He smiled. She won.
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay is longer than the tale thou dost excuse
Right before dinner Sharon came home. Rusty was up, poured over his computer, trying to get a hold of TJ. To say thank you and to apologize. A lot of apologies were needed to be given to different people. He was finishing up the latest installment to Identity when she came in.
Stepping out of her shoes, sinking into the floor, Sharon felt the tiredness beginning to seep into her. A mental list of things that had to be accomplished was getting checked off in her head. Tell Taylor about her and Andy, done. Tell Rusty about her and Andy. Tell the team. Tell her children. Tell his children. Talk to Andrea about Gustavo's rights to the body. Talk to Andrea about Slider. Talk to Andrea about Sharon Beck. Get updated on the whereabouts of Phillip Stroh; he had gone to Morocco the last time she requested an update. He was going to countries that had no extradition treaties. They were waiting for him to slip.
Rusty watched as she moved around oblivious to him. Coat on the rack, shoes by the door, and purse on the table with her keys; she was moving on autopilot. Into the kitchen he watched her move, opening the fridge, bringing out a bottle of water, uncapping it and taking a drink from it. Her eyes weren't red; she wasn't off somewhere crying. She turned, her back to him, and braced herself against the sink. Was she sick? Did this, what he did, make her sick?
"Sharon?" Rusty questioned. It surprised her.
Sharon snapped up straight, a hand to her chest. Definitely surprised her. She deflated at the sight of her son sitting at the table with his computer closed.
"Rusty," she breathed, coming out of the kitchen. "You scared me."
"I got that," he commented. "You okay?"
Sharon nodded. "Just a long day."
Rusty swallowed and gave her a small smile. He nodded and agreed. It was a long day. Not that he had a terrible day. He was anxious for most of it, but happy about the outcome for the most part.
"Look, Sharon," Rusty began. "I'm sorry about Gustavo. I froze and like, I didn't know how to tell him that his sister died."
Sharon nodded. She understood. She really did. But she was living on Cloud 9; an enormous weight off her shoulders had been taken off. She was happy. They, her and Andy, were happy. Then the cloud had been replaced by a thundercloud and they were unceremoniously thrown off of it and into reality.
"Rusty," she went on. "Sometimes news like that, no matter how experienced, is still difficult."
Rusty nodded. "But I'm just a – I'm nobody, Sharon. I couldn't tell him that. Not legally."
"Legally no," she agreed. "But leading him on by telling him that I knew where she was, was not only unfair to me but to him as well. Yes I had answers; yes I did in fact know where his sister was, but to actually tell him, to rip someone's hope away like that? The notification process is never easy. It's downright cruel and unusual."
"Is that why Flynn is mad at me?"
"Flynn is mad because he was just as blind sided as I was," Sharon said. "We were in a meeting with Taylor and the rest of the team had a minute or two to prepare. This was-"
"Cruel and unusual?"
Sharon gave her son a smile and shook her head. "No this was – I don't know what this was, but I just don't have a good feeling about it, is all."
Rusty nodded. He screwed up. He knew he did. He could have texted her and gave her a heads up. That much was fair at least. But no, that didn't happen. He just showed up and introduced her to Gustavo and the rest of it was history.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Louie Provenza knew from his many attempts at marriage that a woman angry is not a woman who should be poked or prodded. Sharon Raydor was not a woman he had seen angry, frustrated beyond her wits, yes, but not angry. Her son had done this all to himself, he thought. The blow up in the middle of the murder room was evident to that.
The kid was trying, that much Provenza was going to give him credit for. Trying to make it on his own without his mother watching him every step of the way. Sharon was getting better at that. Not as protective, the detail hadn't been on him in nearly two months now and she seemed to be better. Seemed to be, being the operative phrase.
Toe to toe with her son, Sharon Raydor was glaring at him. Silence had taken over the murder room on their case free day. Andy stood by, close enough to reach out in the case Sharon acted recklessly or if Rusty decided to run. The rest of the team, Provenza included were merely spectating. Provenza knew he would have to moderate whatever transpired. Once one of them spoke.
"Explain," she said, her voice low, breaking with grief.
"I wanted to check up on him," Rusty explained. "I figured it would be a good idea."
"When?"
He swallowed. Provenza knew. The team knew. Hell, even Andy knew that the next set of words coming out of Rusty's mouth weren't going to earn him any brownie points.
"When the officers were killed," Rusty said. "Two weeks ago."
Sharon closed the file, setting it down on Andy's desk. She straightened up and tilted her head at her son. A million things were going through her mind. Her son, with no cause, other than curiosity, filed a background check in a delicate time. He was supposed to be helping her, them, the department. Instead he used it to his advantage and took advantage.
Sharon pointed to her office and Rusty went. Disappearing without protest. Sharon turned, minutely, and Andy invaded her space. It had been twenty-four hours since they all met Gustavo and now they had more to deal with. Sharon more so since this would ultimately fall on her. He brushed his hand against hers, a silent gesture to tell her he was there. She smiled sadly and went.
"In this order," Sharon said, closing the door, anger settling in her. "You are going to go home, stop whatever you are doing on Identity and give it all to Hobbs."
"Sharon that's-"
"Gustavo can argue you invaded his privacy," Sharon snapped, cutting him off. "You illegally ran a background check. Those were supposed to be for tips, not for Rusty Beck's personal gain."
It cut him. Good. The flash of pain crossed his eyes, settled into his cheeks. A flush of embarrassment matched.
"Freedom of the Press is your right," Sharon went on to say. "In your blog you can say and do whatever you want. But when it comes to breaking the law you step into my world."
"Sharon – "
"Those people out there didn't like me five years ago," Sharon pointed out. "I lead the division that no one liked. It put good men out of a job because they broke the rules."
"This isn't just my job Sharon! This is my life."
"And you are a good man," she challenged. "This stops, now, until I find out if you broke any rules or broke any laws or did anything that can not only put me in jeopardy but this case."
Rusty nodded. Silenced. Slider couldn't get out of jail because of what he did. He wasn't going to let it happen.
"So," Sharon said, flattening her palm against the desk. "Go home. Pack up your project and leave it for me on my desk."
Rusty nodded and left without another word. Through her blinds Sharon watched as Rusty silently gathered his things and left the murder room. Under the watchful eye of the spectators, Rusty didn't even bat an eye at them. He just packed up and left, like he was told to do.
A knock on her door had her attention pulled. Provenza stood in the doorway. Flynn was standing behind him. She gave him a single nod as Provenza shut the door behind him. She was okay. Or she would be.
"The kid of yours is smart," Provenza commented, coming to stand in front of her.
"Sometimes too smart," Sharon said, giving him a small smile. "Did you know about the background check?"
"I wouldn't be standing here if I did," Provenza told her truthfully. "Rusty thought he was doing the right thing. You can't really fault him for that."
"I can if he broke the law," she said. "I'll give Andrea a call and see what kind of damage control she can do."
Provenza nodded. They really were lucky to have Hobbs on their side. Even if she was annoying at times.
"Is that all Lieutenant?" Sharon asked, lowering herself into her chair.
Provenza shook his head and moved for the door. "Oh Captain."
She looked up from her files, realizing she left the Marianna Wallace file out on Andy's desk.
"I hear congratulations are in order?" Provenza questioned. Sharon narrowed her eyes. "One can't keep his mouth shut, another one can. You get to deal with them both."
"And you Lieutenant?"
"It's none of my business," he said with a nod.
Sharon let out a deep breath. She would have to deal with her son. She would have to deal with Andy. First she wanted to deal with the silence that overtook her office. The peacefulness of it despite the fact that death and destruction lingered in the halls.
"DDA Hobbs, please," Sharon said into the receiver.
As she filled Andrea in on what had transpired with Rusty, Sharon picked up the photo of Marianna Wallace, aka Alice Herrera, aka Jane Doe #68. Her mind drifted to the question Rusty was asking on his vlog. What's in a name? In this one, no matter what the name, she was a girl and by any other name would be just as sweet.