Trekking through the thick greenery of the forest is a constant for Natsume. Be it running from youkai, searching for youkai, or hounding for his so called "guardian" cat, he's become familiar with the scenery. It's often with purpose, and that reason is now of the latter. Nyanko-sensei left a note earlier that day, talking about enjoying liquor with area ayakashi.
Walking up a trail, likely made by trudging hikers, Natsume notices the lack of peeking ayakashi and chirping birds. Is it usual for this area? He looks around, wondering is he will spot some sort of activity or something strange.
In a brief distance to his left, there is a dark heap of… something. Its unmoving frame makes Natsume suspicious and uneasy, churning his gut in suspense. Should he approach it? What if it's a cursing youkai?
It's as if the thing responds to the crunching, dead leaves beneath Natsume's feet. It shifts over on the ground, and it makes the teen's heart leap. But when he catches a glimpse of a human hand, his stomach drops. A human is hurt.
"Hey, are you okay?!" Natsume leaves the dirt path into the lushness of greenery and trees. The figure responds to his voice by moving a hand again. There's a stain of fresh blood.
When reaching the fallen human, he stops. Upon seeing the black tattered robes and mess of hair (bloodied from a wound near his eye and splayed across the face and ground), Natsume blanches at the familiarity, realizing who it may be.
Perhaps it's a good thing Nyanko-sensei is elsewhere. He would spit with a 'good riddance' and urge Natsume to ignore the man. A human who breaks contacts doesn't need sympathy nor help, especially wicked exorcists.
As Natsume cautiously lowers to kneel next to Matoba, the battered and bloodied man begins to stir. As his head turns towards the blond, his normally silk-like black hair sticks to places on his face and neck where blood has matted and dried it to his skin. Just how long has he been lying here?
His eyes (both visible, the seal shredded and lying a short distance from his head) slowly open, their focus bleary. Matoba moves shaking fingers to the right eye, feeling the entire area to assess the state of the damage. The gradual regain of awareness of his surroundings is obvious on his face, crimson gaze focusing, before it happens.
Matoba inhales with a sharp hiss as he lunges forward, pinning Natsume to the ground, his right arm pressing down across the frail boy's chest and shoulders. When slammed into the ground, Natsume grunts, pressure on his chest nearly knocking the wind out of him. Another hand quickly forces itself into Natsume's hair, pushing blond bangs away from the right eye, and Natsume nearly screams. Matoba's eyes are wild, darting all over Natsume's face. He isn't satisfied until he lets his thumb gently brush the lashes. With a resounding whimper, his expression changes to a mix of relief and regret when releasing Natsume, once again collapsing next to him with an exhausted sigh.
"Forgive me…"
It's over just as quickly as it started.
Out of breath and shaken, Natsume somehow manages to rise upright, looking over the weary and injured exorcist. His chest heaves in his own labored breaths and it makes Natsume increasingly more worried, yet...
"Wh-Why did you do that…?!" he manages to gasp out. As much as Natsume wants to put distance between them to prevent another attack, his limbs feel immobilized. "I was checking to make sure you were okay!"
Matoba remains lying on his side, left eye now covered by his hair. His right eye, decorated with both an old scar and a fresh one, shifts up to meet Natsume's. Natsume breathes in sharply when seeing Matoba's right eye. He was just attacked by the eye-snatching youkai…
"That youkai sometimes... disguises... I thought... perhaps you..." Matoba's words are cut short when he coughs, a small amount of blood splattering into the grass and dirt. He quickly covers his mouth and props himself up on one elbow, turning away from Natsume.
"I appreciate your concern but... please leave." The tone is forcibly stern.
Bristled by the dismissal, Natsume finally is able to move his legs. He crawls closer to Matoba, heart pounding, unsure and frightened if he'll be attacked again, but the man is injured. "W-wait… You're hurt, so…"
Reaching out to Matoba, Natsume wonders what can be done. Maybe he can clean the wound, offer support, help him up— He pulls back when realizing the train of thought. Then what? He would be helping someone who hurts ayakashi for humanity's 'sake'. Nyanko-sensei's words are trying to break through. Not helping him would be good for him and ayakashi, even Natori the rival exorcist.
A fist tightens on his slacks. No. Even if it's someone like this, they shouldn't be in pain. No one should be.
Matoba shakes his head, further disheveling his hair.
"You don't understand, it's…" Before Matoba can say the word 'dangerous', he pauses. Was it dangerous? What happened again just now?
Ah, that's right… a surprise attack. Matoba sees his blade some distance away lying in the grass, and he winces as memories of wrestling with the youkai come flooding back. He dealt it a serious blow, and now he's concerned he might have killed it... That would cause trouble for his clan if true, but for now, it means he's safe.
"It's… unnecessary. That youkai won't be back, and I've already sent a shiki to inform my clan of my whereabouts. They will come to retrieve me soon enough."
When was that though? How long has Matoba been immobile, hurt and weakened, since that sendoff?
Natsume bites his bottom lip. "Other ayakashi may know about the attack…" Ayakashi can be dangerous, especially when they catch the scent of blood. There aren't any around, but they could come back. Perhaps the ambush made them scarce. The Matoba Clan is infamously known. If a particularly able youkai happens upon that information, and Matoba hasn't been escorted by then…
"Right now, I don't sense any, but another could come by."
'Let that damned exorcist be eaten by a youkai!' Natsume can imagine Nyanko-sensei screeching. He pushes out his lips and furrows his brows in defiance of the imaginary cat creature.
"It's dangerous… right?" he tries to confirm, searching for any change in expression on Matoba's face. When catching the sight of the exposed right eye—distinct cut, fresh blood—Natsume blinks down and away. He feels ashamed to look at it without permission.
Matoba keeps his gaze trained on Natsume's face, even when the boy looks away. The exorcist smirks at the mention of his senses, feeling almost giddy that Natsume is using them for his sake.
"Well… if you insist, I appreciate the company…"
Without looking away from Natsume's face Matoba shifts to a seated position, moving back until he's able to rest against a tree. One knee bends, and his arms fold into his lap. There's no use concealing his exhaustion. Once he's in a comfortable position, he dips his head down and looks up at Natsume as if trying to get him to look back at him.
"But if you're going to stay, won't you at least look at me? Your nervousness is making me uncomfortable…"
The teasing tone in his voice makes it clear that it is a lie.
Head turned to Matoba, an apology is nearly at Natsume's lips before it's withdrawn, and the head turns away again. The exorcist is teasing him? At a time like this, it's incredible that Matoba still has the audacity. "I'm not nervous," Natsume declares strongly, bottom lip pushed out.
But that's a lie as well.
He's never seen Matoba like this before, especially the sealed eye. There's guilt pricking in his chest, thinking that it's selfish to want to look again because he now has the opportunity to after a damaging attack. The exorcist seems so vulnerable now; laid back and labored against a tree, clothes ripped and hair tangled. He hasn't seen this side of him. It's a strange kind of dangerous.
"It's because you're hurt," Natsume finally offers, brows still furrowed to glance at Matoba.
A deep chuckle resonates from low in Matoba's throat, and he flashes another teasing smile.
"Oya, is that it? Are you sure it isn't because you're trying to hide that you're curious to see my right eye?" He tucks dark locks behind his ear, allowing Natsume a better view. "You should look, I don't mind. This may be your last chance. The only time I ever remove that seal voluntarily is when I'm bathing, you know."
Yes, Natsume is curious in seeing this always sealed eye, but he can do without Matoba's faux proposition. (At least, he thinks it is…) By giving the exorcist a harsh, defensive look, Natsume rests a little easier that he is looking at the man's eyes with purpose. It's not always easy looking this man in the eye. It's irritating he is always one step ahead, with words or actions or thoughts.
"Seeing you without your eyepatch is really strange." Like it's not Matoba. Natsume purses his lips tightly, conflicted that he was able to admit that. Maybe Matoba won't read into it that much.
The exorcist's smile relaxes from a teasing one to a gentle one, and he rests his head against the tree to slowly look Natsume up and down. "Seeing you without my eyepatch is strange!" he laughs. "I've never seen you through two eyes before."
Natsume straightens his posture when Matoba retorts what he just said. Is it okay for him to be making light of his predicament? 'You can cover your eye if I look weird,' he wants to say, but this could be twisted right back at him. It's like the exorcist has a response for everything.
As if mentioning his curse reminded him of his injury, Matoba touches the fresh wound again. His gaze finally leaves Natsume to look down at the slightly dried blood collected on his fingertips. Without raising his head, he glances back up through black lashes, his lips parted and eyes widened to emphasize his vulnerable state.
"Ah… You don't happen to have any water, do you?"
Golden eyes glance to the bag clipped around his hips. Somehow, he luckily does have a bottle of water. This summer has been draining with both heat and humidity. Touko makes sure he carries summer fatigue essentials. (There has unfortunately been times where he has passed out.)
"I do…" Taking his eyes off Matoba for a moment, Natsume digs through the bag, procuring the bottle.
"Thank you…" Matoba smiles in gratitude, taking the bottle and setting it aside for a moment as he inspects his robes. His eyes scan the fabric until they land upon a particularly tattered section on one of his sleeves, and he tears off a strip.
Being careful not to use the water wastefully, he pours a small amount onto the cloth, just enough to dampen it. Unfortunately he isn't as careful when he presses it to his wound, and he inhales sharply, as if the pain was more intense than he anticipated. But he quickly adjusts, and continues to blot the blood and dirt away calmly. After he's satisfied with his work, he looks at Natsume again.
"So how bad is it? Have I ruined my chances of becoming both a model and an exorcist like Natori?"
The tenseness seems to dissipate with Matoba's joke. A chuckle bubbles inside of Natsume's chest, so he covers his mouth. The exorcist sees this, and his face lights up, knowing a smile is being hidden beneath. Matoba still looks strange like that, hair disheveled and clothes shredded, but it doesn't damper the charm. Maybe it's okay to play around with that friendliness. There is no sensible danger.
"I think so. I don't think they would sign a contract with someone who wears an eyepatch daily, anyway. Are you thinking of competing with Natori?" Lashes flutter down and up, surveying Matoba in full.
"I don't know… Despite what you may think with all the meetings I host, I couldn't handle being chased around by fans like he does. I prefer being with people in more intimate, one-on-one settings…" He takes a sip of the water bottle, and offers it back to Natsume.
Receiving the bottle, Natsume decides to also take a sip in case of unsuspected dehydration. Absentmindedly, he agrees, "As do I—"
"...especially when the other person is someone whose company I enjoy, like right now."
The bottle nearly drops from Natsume's hand at the admittance. Face now tinged pink, both angry and embarrassed at his own slip-up, the blond quickly scrambles to correct himself. "I mean—one-on-one… Not company with you." This exorcist's company is oftentimes hostile, Natsume knows. But talking like this, with no tension and deceiving in play, it's becoming more at ease.
Matoba chuckles when Natsume misspeaks, and his smile has once again contorted to his trademark condescending smirk.
Fingers fidget with the bottle, paying mind to that rather than the exorcist smiling at him. Head angled away, Natsume zips the bag as if to search for something. "Are you sure you don't need more water? Or anything else? I think I have painkillers." Preferably anything to keep Matoba from opening his mouth and saying more things that will fluster him.
"Thank you for your kindness, but I don't need anything. My injuries look worse than they are. However, I admit I'm stunned to hear you don't enjoy my company when you seemed so eager to stay with me when you first got here…"
He rests his head against the tree again, looking up at Natsume with a teasing glint in his eyes. "Is there anything I can do to make my company more enjoyable for you?"
Both bristled and flustered, Natsume straightens and readjusts his legs to sit on. Matoba keeps giving him these teasing questions and looks and he isn't prepared at all on how to respond to them. "I wasn't eager because I wanted to be in your company! You were hurt." His chest is thumping harshly. Furrowing his brows and lips pushed out, he tries to level an upset glare. "It doesn't matter if it's enjoyable. I'm staying in case something bad happens before your support arrives."
Stopping, and glancing to the side, Natsume wonders if he is being too guarded. Here is Matoba, much more vulnerable, open and joking about it. Whereas the tension for Natsume is wound up every so word from Matoba. He can't help but have an offensive-defense. Encounters with Matoba haven't been civil and now it's just… them talking and waiting until he is retrieved by his clan.
"Don't tease me so much…" Natsume finally admits in a defeated pout, peeking through eyelashes.
Matoba studies Natsume's face, paying extra attention to the way he cutely puffs out his lips when he's had enough torment, and the way he uses his pale lashes as a flimsy shield to protect his own gaze from Matoba's.
The exorcist whispers in a low and breathy tone, forcing the blond to strain to hear his words. "Ah, see, this is why we don't get along… when you ask me not to tease you while you're making a face like that…"
Without warning, Matoba leans forward, nails gently brushing Natsume's cheek to tuck a lock of hair away, allowing himself access to bring his lips close to Natsume's ear. "…it just makes me want to tease you more."
The whisper and breathing tickles his ear, inciting a bone-deep shiver throughout Natsume's body. He grips Matoba's sleeve, prying the hand away from his face. "H-Hey—!" They're too close. Words keep getting stuck in his throat. When he tries to breathe, it comes out as an embarrassing whimper. His heart is thundering in his chest and the heat in his face deepens.
"What are you doing?" Natsume manages, shying away from the exorcist's warmth.
As Natsume tries to pull away, Matoba presses closer, grabs the wrist trying to push him away. Another hot breath puffs against Natsume's ear when speaking. "Exactly what I said I was doing, I'm teasing."
Natsume gasps at the heat. But he steels himself, biting down on his own lip to gather the strength and courage to fight back. This is enough. There is only so much his heart and mind can handle. He doesn't want to be this close to him. "Did that youkai make you delusional when it attacked you? I was only trying to help you and now you're being overbearing! If you don't stop—" The threat is cut off prematurely, feeling guilt that he would threaten to leave. (He's capable now, isn't it? He shouldn't need to worry.)
This is unfair. It's not his fault. Matoba is just being a jerk like always. Readjusting his frame, Natsume is at least able to tilt to the side, pulling the grip, nearly defeated. "Please stop," he tries again in a softer, but panicked, voice.
The pleading tone in Natsume's voice causes Matoba to freeze. He immediately loosens his grip on the blond, and slowly retreats to not further startle him. The hand is drawn back with great reluctance.
When released from the hold, Natsume is finally able to breathe in full. The scent of incense catches his nose—the scent of this exorcist. He still feels the man's warmth on him, where the fingers traced his cheek, the tickle on his ear and neck. Conflicted about the comfort it gives him, Natsume's fingers twitch, tempted to pull at the leaving digits.
Matoba honestly only meant to tease for a minute and stop but... how could he believably tell that to Natsume now? Reflecting on his actions over the last moments, he wouldn't even believe that story from himself.
Sliding back against the tree, the exorcist pulls the tattered robes back to be further from the teen. "Natsume, I apologize. This isn't going how I had hoped it would. Please leave. I promise I'm fine. You're in greater danger than I am, clearly. Since you've been here, I've already assaulted and lied to you..." Realizing the mistake in his last words, Matoba picks up the damp cloth again, pretending to tend to some wounds to avoid eye contact.
Natsume doesn't want to leave. He's farther away now and that… upsets him. With worried eyes, he watches how Matoba withdraws into himself, avoiding his eyes. Is this guilt? Mouth agape and closing, Natsume tries once more, voice pulling through. "You… lied?" Matoba doesn't necessarily lie, he excludes information to benefit himself. What could it have been?
Matoba sighs and looks back up at Natsume with the kind of guilty smile that asks for forgiveness he knows he doesn't deserve. "I haven't sent a shiki yet. No one knows I'm here except for you." He runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back away from his face. "There has been no danger since long before you arrived. I was sent here today to exterminate the few ayakashi remaining in this area, and the task was completed before the eye-snatching youkai attacked. I know you despise the violent nature of my work, so I said a shiki was sent just so you would think I was safe from area ayakashi. Then you would leave before, or if ever, you figured it out."
Looking down into his lap, Matoba's voice drops to a near whisper. "But when you offered to protect me even though you thought it was dangerous, I was so happy… and I suppose I wanted to see how long you'd stay. I hadn't thought of what would happen once you found out no one was coming."
"W-Wait…" In such a short span of time, the true predicament is unveiled. Natsume stares at Matoba, feeling a mix of surprise, guilt, and anger. He did this by himself? How long has he been here, lying on the forest floor, injured and fatigued? Natsume braces his fists before a scolding the other. "Why didn't you?! You're hurt. You didn't even know I was travelling through. You're being reckless." The same could be said about him—how he rushes into things without planning or telling others.
As much as Natsume debates the meaning and intent behind Matoba's words, he feels appreciated to be recognized. It's a feeling he's been recently acquainted with. A sense of accomplishment and trust.
"Natsume, if you would socialize with your own kind every once in a while, you would know that the ayakashi in this area were few and weak. This was a one-man job, and I completed it without any trouble until… well." He gestures towards his cursed eye with an exaggerated exasperation.
"It's not too late to send a messenger now," the blond offers in turn, peering through lashes.
With that mentioned, Matoba looks Natsume directly in the eye, harsher than he intended. "And you still don't seem to understand. I don't want to send a messenger now. I want to stay and talk to you. And somehow, even though you despise me, know that I lied, knew what I was doing here, and what I just did to you—you're the type of person who wouldn't leave me in this state, would you?"
Despite the harshness of the blatant observations and faults he volunteers to point out, Matoba looks at Natsume expectantly, knowing that he will find the truth within these words.
"You're refusing to get help because you want to talk to me?" There are better circumstances for this, Natsume wants to scold, but— It's true. When else would Natsume voluntarily talk with Matoba? When they happen upon each other, they're on opposing sides. There's no time to talk. If there is, it's an argument. Because of this, Natsume forgets that Matoba is a human too. Not everything is a job or business tactic.
But thinking he has a life outside of youkai and exorcists is a dangerous slope. It leads to wondering and hypothesizing what he does to enjoy and experience and live life.
Natsume swallows, lips pressing into a line and fisting the grass beneath him. "Why don't you just say that? You're still doing what you always do. You're holding something above my head to get what you want. I shouldn't entertain that, I know and you know. You're being unfair."
Matoba smirks. That's it, exactly it. They're both hypocrites.
"You're right, I am being unfair… As soon as I recognized I could use this situation to my advantage, I immediately did so. But aren't you being unfair as well?" Matoba pulls his collar to the side just enough to expose some of the shallow wounds along his skin. "You're implying that if I weren't in this condition, met here under normal circumstances like passing through the forest, that you would agree to speak with me if I asked you to. I know and you know that you wouldn't have unless I threatened or blackmailed you, and to claim otherwise would be unfair, Natsume.
"So yes, I confess I used this situation to get what I wanted from you, and I further confess I did it gladly because I believed it was a way to get what I wanted without harming you for once."
"I—" Again, Natsume is at a loss for what to say. Matoba is right, and he doesn't want to admit it. He would not pay mind to Matoba voluntarily. In order for Matoba to even have the grace of conversation, even to genuinely inquire his well-being, it would have to be twisted in his favor. Knowing Natsume's nature, his selfishly selfless nature, Natsume would check on the condition, make sure everything is alright.
Natsume has since looked away, conflict and shame undoubtedly showing. The hair on the back of his neck prickles. Glancing down, he finds Matoba's hand near his, but only near. Not touching, not moving, just near. A quiet beckoning.
Natsume doesn't want to learn more about him. Becoming friendly, having a civil conversation with no hostility or coercion, will alter this image he has construed of the antagonizing exorcist. Unconsciously, he has been avoiding this very reason. Now that it's brought to the surface, Natsume cannot play ignorant any longer.
"You're someone whose values I don't agree with." But values are formed and learned and shaped by the own conscious varying on circumstance and upbringing. Natsume needs to keep playing ignorant for his sake and cognitive relief. "You're the exorcist who is distant and ruthless." That's all he should be.
Recognizing that Natsume doesn't pull away from his hand, he feigns interest in the grass between them, pretending to play with it absentmindedly for a moment. A pinky brushes the other (as if it was an accident), but he doesn't move it away once the contact is there, keeping still.
With his gaze trained on Natsume's eyes, even as the blond turns away, he speaks softly again. "I don't agree with your values, either. You have the power to protect many people from ayakashi far more ruthless than I am, but you choose not to. Some youkai menace innocent people, even children, who are helpless against them, and I believe that those born with powers like ours have a duty to protect them. And yet you turn the other way, insisting you don't want to get involved, allowing countless people to endure that despite having the power to save them… to me, that is distant and ruthless."
There's a touch on his hand and Natsume reflexively pulls it away. He doesn't understand what Matoba is trying by doing that, but he is too upset to endure it now. Natsume straightens his back, hands digging into the grass. "I do help people and ayakashi! I just do it differently from you!" That's how they always run into each other. Natsume helps a person or youkai, and Matoba is around doing the same, except it is mostly to benefit humans. "I try to find a compromise. Humans aren't always right. There is oftentimes a misunderstanding."
And… there's only so much Natsume is capable of. He's aware of that. Nyanko-sensei often scolds him for involving himself in tasks that he really shouldn't be, but there is the knee-jerk reaction to help. "I do what I can…" Natsume blinks to Matoba then away quickly when noticing his gaze on him.
Taking no offense at Natsume's withdrawal, Matoba chuckles, almost as if he preferred that Natsume pulled away. "I suppose that given our different histories, we may never find common ground on our opinions regarding ayakashi. I'm sure that for you, it was painful as a child to be ostracized by humans who couldn't see and didn't understand your pain. So perhaps even the slightest feigned kindness from a manipulative ayakashi caused you to project human-like emotions on them that they don't truly possess."
The exorcist busies his hands by frisking his haori until he produces a small mirror. Despite the fact it is adorned with symbols indicating its ritualistic function, Matoba uses it to examine his scars.
"But I admit I have my bias as well…"
Natsume bristles at Matoba's words. Being a lonely child, any sort of attention would do, especially if it was kindness. Ayakashi can be just as human. They too have emotions and aspirations and friendships. Humans can act just like that, too. They fake their kindness and interest.
"I am friends with ayakashi. They don't have ill will or feign their kindness." Blinking over, Natsume finds Matoba inspecting his face with a mirror. A finger traces a new scrape below his eye. "Have you never given it a thought? That ayakashi are similar?" A fox that lost his mother. Wishing for a return of a friend. Aspiring to be a scholar. Terrified of losing a loved one. He hasn't experienced all of these himself, but he can feel and see it.
Dropping his hands back into his lap, Matoba turns to face Natsume again. "Of course I've thought about it. But it's against my professional interests to think about it too often. Besides, I only harm youkai that have already proven themselves to be dangerous to humans. And once they've done that, why should I care whether they have feelings? They don't care about ours, and they use ours to manipulate us."
Then Matoba leans towards Natsume with a playful smile, and he drops his voice low as if he's sharing a secret. "You realize that for me, this is the second conversation I've had with you in this forest today?" He tips his head back a bit, and taps his finger next to the fresh scar across his cursed eye. "The first one was going a bit too well, so I should have figured it out… but youkai are skilled manipulators. They sense our emotions, they show us what we want to see and tell us what we want to hear, and when we let our guard down, they reveal their true… intentions." Matoba drags his finger down the scar, following the path of the eye-snatcher's attack.
Natsume's heart drops. "The youkai… looked like me?" As Natsume watches how Matoba traces down the new mark, he shivers. Does it still hurt? At least it stopped bleeding.
"It did things that you would have liked me to say and do, right? I wouldn't do whatever it did to trick you."
Matoba looks down, avoiding Natsume's gaze. Of course Natsume wouldn't have done those things. Absentmindedly tracing the scar with his fingertips, he reflects on the events moments before he lost consciousness.
Having finished his assignment in the forest without a hitch, he had been making his way for the exit when who he believed was Natsume suddenly ran up to him, covered in horrific injuries and hiding his face. Breaking into sobs he had pressed his cheek, wet with blood and tears, to Matoba's chest, flinging his slender arms around the exorcist's neck, clinging to him in desperation.
Before he had time to process what was happening, Matoba immediately pulled Natsume into an embrace, smoothing his disheveled blond hair and trying to decipher what happened. Had Natsume been alone in this forest when it was infested with violent youkai? And without Mr. Cat to protect him?
"Natsume, wh—"
"Matoba! I thought they were going to… I was so scared, I… I'm so happy you're here…"
The sounds of Natsume's cries caused Matoba's chest to hurt, and he tightened his hold to comfort them both. His heart began to swell with a strange emotion when the embrace tightened in return, Natsume pressing his face into Matoba's neck as if begging for his protection.
"Natsume, it's all right, they're gone now. Come with me, I'll…"
But something wasn't right. Natsume's sobbing and trembling quieted without warning, and that's when Matoba realized. Pushing back away from the teen, he tipped his chin back to examine the face.
Of course. There was only one of those beautiful amber eyes, and it narrowed into a bloodthirsty glare as it lunged towards the exorcist.
Matoba has since closed his own eyes, not wanting to remember the rest. He's embarrassed for having fallen for such an obvious trick, and now this new scar will serve as a permanent reminder of his momentary weakness.
"Indeed, you're correct. You wouldn't have done what that youkai did, and I was foolish to think you would have."
Golden eyes look over Matoba's face, still shy at seeing both eyes. Coupled with the low voice, it's mesmerizing.
"I'm sorry that happened… but humans do the same. They can also read another's wants and hide their motives. Ayakashi aren't different from us. Although, one similar thing I have with that youkai is I would have scratched at your eye as well." Natsume attempts a grin, although shy.
Matoba blinks twice, and tips his head to the side. Did Natsume just reply with a joke? About scratching Matoba's eye out, no less? Matoba smiles brightly and starts laughing. His laugh is warm and honest, it's not his usual condescending chuckle, but delighted and genuine of someone spending time with someone they enjoy being with.
"I don't think I could handle that twice in one day, so please refrain from attacking my eye for now… assuming you're still willing to sit and talk with me for a little while?"
Was it really that funny? Natsume blinks at the exorcist, then a more natural smile formed on his lips. It's been too tense. They both needed a break. "Only if your actions don't warrant my defense, Matoba."
Even if their talking developed into something more telling, Natsume has to return home soon. "Maybe only a bit longer… I was actually looking for Nyanko-sensei before I came across you. You can't keep dragging our conversation forever."
When glancing to the side, Natsume minds the trees and the approaching dusk. He didn't think his time would involve this exorcist, listening and conversing and learning. It opens the dissonance Natsume has been striving to avoid. Matoba is not just an exorcist, he's complex with his reasons just like everyone else. With this now in mind, he's sure Nyanko-sensei will scold him on considering another exorcist. It does bother Natsume too, but with time, maybe they can understand each other more.
Matoba pretends to pout as he pulls a charm from his haori. Whispering mysterious syllables into the paper, he watches as it contorts itself into the shape of a butterfly and takes flight in the direction of one of the Matoba clan's villas.
"I'm beginning to think I may prefer the Natsume I spoke to earlier today… He wouldn't complain no matter how lengthy my conversation as long as I promised to give him my right eye by the end of it." Matoba chuckles at his own joke, but only for a moment before his expression turns dark. "It looked just like you, you know. It was so close to me I could feel its breath against my skin and yet I didn't suspect a thing."
Matoba approaches Natsume slowly, taking care not to frighten him. He holds Natsume's shoulder to keep him still as he gently tips the blond's chin back so that the remaining sunlight illuminates his face, examining every feature with narrowed eyes, before whispering. "I especially don't understand how it managed to replicate such delicate features as yours…"
Shuddering, momentarily breathless, Natsume is held by both Matoba's hands and his gaze. "I-I don't understand either…" Both the eye-snatching youkai and Matoba. It's not long before Natsume begins to squirm under the intimate scrutiny. Moving his head to the side, Matoba's hand slides away from his cheek. The touch on his shoulder slackens to slide down the length of the arm, pausing at the slender wrist.
"It's still a bad idea, though." Now with a bit more distance between them, Natsume can look at Matoba's face. Even joking, it doesn't feel right to not address. "You need to be cautious. I'm sorry that you wanting to talk with me put you in danger."
Glancing away for a second, "We can…" and back, Natsume blinks and strengthens his resolve again. Matoba is still a little unnerving. Though, there is more than that. (He was warned to be wary of Matoba, of another exorcist. His motives are careful and hidden, as are his other aspirations and interests, the ones that make him vulnerable.) "Maybe see about another time. I will decide."
'...another time'?
Matoba tries to hold back his smile. So by refusing to permit his lips to curl, his eyes become brighter in turn. "Should you decide to allow it, I would like that very—"
Before he can finish his response, he pauses, turning in the direction of the sound of familiar footsteps approaching in the distance. They're not loud, but the rustling does announce the approach. Turning back to Natsume, his gentle expression has been replaced by his usual superior smirk. "Thank you for your company, but you should probably leave. You wouldn't want to give off the impression that you willingly helped the Matoba clan, would you?"
Any trace of their earlier interactions are swallowed by the smirk Natsume is all too familiar with. Although, the gentle grip on his wrist tells otherwise.
(He wants to keep him away from the clan.)
Looking beyond the exorcist and back, Natsume nods hesitantly. "Please take care, Matoba."
Pulling back, the gentle grip loosens. Natsume doesn't bother to wipe the dirt and foliage off his clothes. He can do that at a safer location. He takes off without another word, back to the path to descend down from the forest.
For now, Natsume won't tell Nyanko-sensei of this. Right now he needs time for himself to ruminate on what happened today.
Notes: Collaboration with kou for 9/1 MatoNatsu Day!
I pondered about the allusions to this and Cherry Blossoms, and I think that this may definitely be a prequel to that drabbles collection. Here they both address the other's faults and awkwardness before the gradual inclination to a more casual relationship with the other.
There is another like this in the works that we will be finishing soon. Until then!