Notes: www finally I am done with this fanfic! It was inspired from clears-jellyfish-dress 's super cute HC on tumblr~~ It's only inspired and so some details are changed in the following work ; u ; also all thanks to my cutie anon for reading it for me 33 hope you will have fun~ it's my first time writing for a new ship in a year or so/ excuse me for any mistakes ; u ;

…

The natural darkness of the night was overshadowed by the glow of a starry sky that spread above like a beautiful carpet of a million fireflies. That summery night was when the Saniwa decided to hold a banquet as a celebration of them reaching the land borders of Ikedaya without breaking any swords— celebration worthy, if you may ask.

The event was enjoyable; everyone was having fun. It was their day to celebrate because soon enough they'll be able to rest for a while when all of Ikedaya is cleared. Shouldn't take so long, however, some of the swords felt uneasy about it, and one of them was Yasusada.

'Ikedaya… huh?'

He didn't feel like celebrating with the others that day. Something was worrying him—something bigger than the whole 'reaching Ikedaya' incident even.

…

The banquet ended earlier than expected; Saniwa thought the swords needed some rest. Also getting way too drunk wasn't healthy for them, and so everyone was already headed to their rooms. Some helping each other even to stand. And some were singing made-up songs of reaching Ikedaya, some sort of victory lullabies and so on. Saniwa was glad everyone had fun. They noticed the absence of one or two swords during the banquet, however, they moved on to their own room and decided not to bother; they already knew what was going on, anyways. How wouldn't they know when they're the one that helped with it all?

"Saniwa san…"

"What is it?"

"Marriage is when two people love each other so much and want to stay together forever, right?"

"Well, most of the time, yes. Why bring up this topic? Don't tell me you think of someone, do you?"

"… Yes."

"How sweet. Tell me everything and I'll help you capture their heart!"

"Eh? For real?"

"Yes! Consider this a sort of a new training."

"Training? Is it going to be that hard?"

"It depends… but don't be afraid! It's not that hard— it only needs a lot of courage."

"I see… I never imagined it to be easy in the first place…"

"Yeah. Now tell me who's the lucky one~"

A soft giggle escaped their lips; they were overwhelmed with elation only by imagining how things may work out. An uneasy palpitate strike when imagining the worst-case scenario.

"Everything is going to be just fine. Just fine." They muttered, assuring themselves that being dismal over something which hasn't occurred yet is ridiculous. They smiled at the former thought, entered their room and closed the door behind.

…

He was lying flat on his futon, eyes hung to the ceiling. 'I should be saying something… like, right now!' thoughts were rapidly passing thought his mind. Thoughts about what he's supposed to be saying, what kind of reaction he may get and what to do if everything worked out or not. A million scenarios crossed his mind at this; his head started to pound painfully.

"Gah!" he groaned, his hands were joined to cover his face. He seemed to be in anguish.

An item was thrown at him from across the room, "Ouch!" was the response he gave as it hit his shoulder. "Why would you do that?"

"You scared me! Never, EVER do that again! I almost had a heart attack!" aggressive complaining was the answer.

"A heart attack…? Was it that loud? Sorry."

His apology was met with silence. He couldn't even notice it himself until someone peeked at him from above his head.

"You're 'sorry'? Now, I didn't expect that to come from you at all." adjusting his position, he allowed the other to get up freely.

"And why is that?" he titled his head as he sat straight, his body facing the other.

"Because it didn't sound like you! Isn't it enough that you disturbed my beauty time? Now you're being a pain."

'A pain?' The word rang painfully in his ears. Despite being familiar with hearing such things from him, this time was different; he wasn't supposed to start with the other reproving him. 'Good job, Yasusada. What a great onset, indeed.'

When the other didn't receive the usual come backs, he started to feel that something was off; "hey, are you alright?"

"Hmm?" being brought back to the real world, he looked at the other, eyes filled with confusion.

"Did someone tell you something? Even though I doubt that; I can never predict what's going through the minds of you guys." He folded his arms, "now, are you gonna tell me or am I supposed to force everything out of you myself?"

"Whoa now, no need to be so aggressive!" he laughed weakly. "I just— uhm…" he looked away, feeling his hands trembling in process.

An eyebrow was raised due the lack of answer, "You what? Are you seriously okay?"

"I am f, fine! I just can't believe that you care about me that much… Haha…" a grin tugged his lips as he proceeded to tease the other. His eye still facing the ground between them.

"… You know what, never mind. It was my fault that I even bothered myself with you at all when I should be having my beauty sleep instead." He attempted to get up but a hand reached to his wrist, pulling him down back to where he settled a second ago.

"Wait, I am sorry, Kashuu. Don't leave yet!"

"I wasn't 'leaving' I was merely heading to my own futon right next to you, what's wrong with you?" He folded his arms once again, he was tired but willing to hear the other's story. He doubted that it might be the effect of Saki; he was with him all the time back at the banquet, after all, until he disappeared at some point like a ghost. He haven't seen him drinking anything so being drunk wasn't the case. It's not like he was able to enjoy it himself, either. He understood what could have prevented the other as well.

"I—uh…" he rubbed the back of his head. "Please put your hands out!"

"W, what?"

"Just do it!"

Doing as told, Kashuu's hands were stretched out towards Yasusada. "Now what?"

"Just a sec…" he reached under his pillow and pulled out an item. 'Which hand, which hand?' It didn't take long before he decided and the item was slipped through Kahsuu's right ring finger. It was a ring. A silver flowery ring, with a single silver flower that had a little red pearl as the heart.

Kashuu was alarmed, his eyes sparkling like never before. "Is that for me?"

"Yes. Does it fit?" gazing at the hand that wore the ring, he studied how it looked on it. 'Perfect,' he thought. 'Red does really fit him well.'

"Yes! It's really cute! Did you get this for me? Or was it Arugi san?" he was joyous; eyes never left the precious silver item.

"Well— errm, I bought it myself and Saniwa san helped picking it up..." he answered, reaching to where he got Kashuu's ring and pulled out a similar item.

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting that at all. Well, thank you for the gift! I'll make sure to get you something nice in return~" he was smiling, from all of his heart. He was pleased by the unexpected treat. He kept admiring the ring from various angles, not noticing what the other was doing.

"Actually, I got one for myself, too!" he wore the exact same ring in his left ring finger. However, the pearl this time is as blue as his eyes, not red. "Look!"

"Whoa! They're matched! They honestly look so cute!" holding his hand next to the Yasusada's, he brought the rings closer.

"It's thrilling to watch how much you're enjoying what I got for you… But…" he clenched his hands into fists, placing them on his thighs.

"But what?" Kashuu's gaze finally left the ring, being drawn by the other's breathy murmur.

"Aren't you going to ask?" hands started to shake all over again. He gulped, attempting to calm down.

"Ask about what?" Reacting to that, Kashuu adjusted himself to take a better look at the other— he gave him his full attention now. "Stop not finishing your phrases! It's confusing!" he complained, uneasiness overwhelmed him as he noticed Yasusada's state. 'What do you want to say? Just what is it?'

"Aaa—, sorry, sorry." He cleared his throat, now calmed a little. "Aren't you wondering why I bought these in the first place?" His gaze finally met Kashuu's.

"You bought that ring because it's me, you know. Who would resist, anyway?" a proud smile tugged Kashuu's lips saying so.

"Don't think so high of yourself!" he rolled his eyes.

"Oops, sorry, sorry~," smiling, he considered a second before being all serious again. "So, why did you get these? It made me all happy, but I still can't get what's the occasion, though."

"It's because we're now married!" he grinned. Finally, he managed to spit it out.

"What?" he was taken by surprise, 'for real?' he thought, heat seeping to his face leaving faint crimson taints all over his pale epidermis. It matched the shade of the ones appearing on Yasusada's even.

"Yes! Since both of us wear these now; we're married!" an even wider grin tugged his lips saying so, he seemed much happier than few seconds ago.

"What the—, wait, wait, WAIT! How is that even possible?" eyes wide like never before, his mind was unable of accommodating what was going on. 'Married? What kind of sick joke is this?'

Uneasiness arose in Yasusada's chest, things are about to get complicated. He knew it well. "What? You don't like me that much?" he pouted.

"Eh? No. It's not like that I—,"

"Then you like me, right?" he interrupted, leaning a bit forward, teasing. "I can see it in your eyes!"

"What the hell? I said nothing like that at all! Also there's nothing in my eyes!" between frustration and embarrassment, he couldn't get a hang on himself anymore. 'I am at a loss for words.' Was what he wanted to add, but couldn't. 'You could have at least chosen a better timing—, would a thing such as 'better timing' ever exist in this situation, though?'

Yasusada didn't reply. Instead, he adjusted himself, getting a little closer to the other; their knees touched.

"I am serious about this. I want to marry you, Kashuu." He held the other's hands, moving them to cup his own face, he leaned in process.

"What—," the action made his pulse quicken. "B, but marriage is for people that want to stick around each other forever!" he started to tremble. "I—, it's for people that actually love each other, you know, and—,"

"But I love you!" he almost shouted those words. "And since you like me then it's fine, right?" his grasp tightened around the hands still placed on his cheeks.

"…!" words were stuck at his throat; he couldn't reply to that when such innocent sapphire eyes were staring back at him. He thought the other could see right through him with those eyes of his; he had to look away.

"Look, I know this is sudden, and I am sorry about it, but I've been holding back for a while now." He continued in a calmer tone.

Silence was all that Kashuu could offer in response. Yasusada exhaled, moving Kashuu's hands away from his face to gaze at them. Slim and soft, of course. With long fingers and palm. He couldn't believe that those are the hands of a warrior. And not to forget the red nail polish that he admires whenever he gets the chance.

He brushed his thumbs against the other's palms while talking, "you know, you have such nice hands." He smiled before clearing his throat. "Back to the topic, I've been looking at you for so long. Ever since the day we met at Okita kun's household. I thought you were… different." He released Kashuu's hands, however, the other didn't move them away, yet.

He laughed weakly; he wondered if he sounded silly. "Battling with you and Okita kun was one of the best memories that I held dear. I, I know I have no right to say that but… I want to stay with you… always." Raising his head to look at the other, he smiled.

On the other side, Kashuu frowned. "Why would you… 'have no right' to say such a thing?" muttering, he met Yasusada'a gaze.

"Because I don't deserve this!" unconsciously, he clenched his fists; causing him to grasp the unmoving hands all over again. He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't deserve being with you! But… but at the same time I couldn't bear not being with you anymore… you see my problem."

"Y, yes… but I still don't get it…" sweat slipped down his cheek; did the AC break? It was getting a little too hot by now.

"Because back then, when that incident occurred, you needed someone but I wasn't there for you. I was a coward back then. You were in pain but I couldn't help! I didn't even try. And then, the few battles I gone through with Okita kun weren't the same anymore. And then when he died—," he paused, trying as much as possible to hold his tears back. "When he died I had my own agony to deal with. Then I looked back, and you weren't there anymore. You know…" he released Kashuu's hands to wipe his own face. He sniffed. "That day I thought I lost something huge and it was so painful…"

"Yasusada…" to think he held back all those feelings, it was something he never thought of before. Actually, the way he viewed Yasusada was much different than what is unfolding before him. He never thought he'd care about such a thing as that day. He returned his hands to where they belonged, on his own thighs. Flashbacks of that dreadful period of his life were racing to the back of his mind.

…

]]Back to the Ikedaya incident, he was taken by Okita Souji to the battle against the Jouishishi. It is said that Kashuu's tip broke and was deemed unrepairable. He was abandoned by Okita after. [[

He lied there on the ground. He was in the room assigned for him to rest during night and free time. He was in pain, so much pain. He couldn't bear it anymore. The cuts on his skin, the serious cracks on his blade and more importantly, the broken tip that was thrown besides him.

He had to wait until the morning to be repaired from the injuries besides the broken tip. He never had to wait this long, he knew what was coming next.

He wasn't taken to the next battle, naturally. And the next one. And the next… and so on. He was never taken to any battle anymore. He didn't receive much care if any at all. He was literally abandoned because he wasn't good enough.

It didn't take much time for Okita to fall for illness, and have a lonely death at where he was hospitalized, leaving everyone behind.

As he had no more connection to this place anymore; he was taken by someone that had the slightest urge to try fixing him somehow. Someone that managed to see the tiniest glimpse of hope in him. Without any word for anyone, he disappeared as if he never existed in the first place. And so the rest of the swords that Okita owned were taken after a specified amount of time.

The thing Kashuu probably hadn't known about the day his value was doomed is that he have been watched. A certain someone have been watching over him from afar. A certain someone that begged Okita to try to repair his broken tip somehow but was rejected; it was impossible. A certain someone that managed to convince Okita to at least take care of his other injuries, and so he was told that what's going to happen— but repairing valuable swords that are needed in battles have to be done first.

…

A hand reached to Yasusada's shoulder, patting it gently. "Enough, enough. Stop beating yourself like that! I don't want to deal with a crybaby now~" he teased him, a bittersweet smile appeared at that. Thinking about the past won't do well to neither of them, after all.

"I wasn't about to cry." Kashuu's hand was brushed off.

"Right, right~" to be loved that much by someone surely is… amazing. Ever since the day he was able to leave the slums of the hinin, his main goal was to find someone who'd cherish and love him. Of course he looked for a master— not another sword. He didn't even know it was possible for swords for fall in love with each other like that until few minutes ago. "By the way,"

"What is it?"

"I am not holding a grudge against you. I never did, though." He scratched the back of his head. If Yasusada was ready to let out everything he caged inside of him for that long, then he's as ready as he is. "I'd be lying if I said I never envied you for being one of his favorite swords, because I did. But I never had the slightest thought of blaming you or anyone else for anything that happened to me…"

"… Thank you…" those words he just heard— they put his heart at ease. He felt as if a dead weight has dissipated from his chest, and all what he managed is a simple 'thank you'. Yasusada sighed. "Let's start all over again…"

"Start what again?"

"The whole proposal thing— it was messed up; let's start again."

"Ok, ok. You have been acting like the one in charge until now, you know. It can't work out like that; you need to give me the chance to shine sometimes." He shrugged his shoulders. Despite the fact that his most hated memories were triggered just now, he didn't feel the slightest urge to leave the place, be angry or even bitter about it anymore. He always believed that over thinking the past is useless. But there's something else. Something else that made him forget all of his sorrows. Something else that he couldn't understand.

"Right. So, uhh," he cleared his throat. "Kashuu Kiyomitsu,"

"Yes." He answered, his pulsing slightly unbalanced. 'This is it…'

"W, will you be my lifetime partner?" he tried as much as possible to not look away. He guessed his face was a bright shade of red.

"Yes," the answered came out earlier than planned, "I do wanna be your so-called 'lifetime partner'~"

Excitement arose Yasusada's visage as the words reached him. 'Finally!' it's ridiculous how much he craved this moment; his fantasies finally became a part of reality.

He watched the other overwhelmed with joy, eyes sparkling like never before and faint pink taints spreading slowly across his cheeks— everything about him at that moment was alluring. Did he look like that all the time? He didn't even bother giving the guy a good look before now; he only cared about looking at himself. He was unable to even see the beauty in someone literally being right next to him almost all the time.

Yasusada intertwined their fingers, the hands that wore the rings were joined together.

"By the way," Kashuu was the first to talk as the action was done. "You totally messed up one part: you placed my ring in the wrong hand." He teased, chuckling a bit.

"Eh? But mine is in my left hand and it's the one facing your— oh god—,"

"It's okay, it's okay. Don't move." He leaned forward, allowing their foreheads to touch. His grasp tightened around Yasusada's hand. The back of his eyes was burning; he couldn't hold back tears anymore.

"Kashuu… are you alright?" his other hand was pressed against Kashuu's cheek, wiping tears as it rested. "Have I done something wrong? Is it because I put the ring—,"

"No, no…" he sniffed. "I am just overwhelmed. I never felt so loved like that before… ah, this is no good; I'll look terrible crying…"

"You never looked terrible… actually, I like how you could show how you truly felt around me~" a sincere smile tugged his lips. He lightly brushed his nose tip against Kashuu's. He never looked at him before and thought he was less than beautiful. Smiling, crying, angry, sad and even drunk. He admired him in all those situations and more. It was ridiculous how he could think any less of himself.

"You don't think I look ugly crying?" he sniffed once more.

"Not even one bit."

"I see… thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me feel so loved."

…

They stayed like that for a while until one of them mentioned being so tired to stay awoke any longer. So, that very night, they brought their futons close together. It didn't take much for both of them to fall asleep; that was a lot to do in one single night. They slept soundly, hands intertwined.

They were the hot main topic the next morning.