(T)

Courageous Hearts

"Miss Letia, please, I really should stay," the servant was desperate.

Miss Letia was firm. "No, I really will be fine. I need to breathe. Go over the hill and wait. I will come to you. I promise, I won't leave the field, and will come."

The servant shifted, then finally bowed and slowly, reluctantly, walked off and over the hill. Miss Letia watched until he was gone, waited to make sure he wouldn't pop his head back over the hill, then sank to the ground. She closed her eyes and felt the wind, smelled the perfume of the flowers in this field. It was her favorite place to come for solace. She had lost the child, three months before it was due to be born, and her husband's death had been one month later. She'd cried all she was going to cry, but she still found it very hard to breathe around her constricted heart. Having over-solicitous servants crowd her only exacerbated the sense of claustrophobia. Here in this field, she could breathe. That's all she wanted - air and space.

Running steps brought her back, made her open her eyes and turn her head. She was calm enough that she didn't go to frustration at her servant right away, and she was glad she hadn't when she saw the small, black-haired child. She held still. He hadn't seen her yet. Sitting as she was, they were about the same height. She watched him, waiting. The wind finally turned and his attention was caught. He turned suddenly to see her. She held still, keeping a mild expression on her face, looking at him as curiously as he was looking at her. He looked left, then right, then all around. Not seeing anyone else, he cautiously crept up to her. She let him without making a sound. She felt a little like she was fishing - a past-time her father had been guilty of enjoying.

"Are you a flower spirit?" he asked her with quiet urgency when he was close enough to speak quietly and be heard.

Miss Letia tipped her head and smiled. "Would that make you happy?" she asked. He frowned a little. "Are you a child of the field?" she asked back.

He raised an eyebrow at her, then looked around the field. "Well, no." He was very sensible, this one, for having asked her that question. "And I don't suppose it matters to me one way or the other if you're a flower spirit, it's just hard to tell sometimes."

"Oh...I guess you can see them, then, the spirits?" she asked mildly, burning to know his age. He talked like he was a spirit - ageless though his visage was young. He nodded soberly. "Well, if not a field spirit, then some other kind?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. ...Something else."

She reached out her hand and brushed the lock of hair hanging just to his shoulder, the straight black hair running through her fingers. "Night... Of the night sky?" she asked. He stiffened. She smiled a sad smile. "It's okay. We can call me a fallen star, then. Have you come to keep me company, two of us fallen from the sky to walk the earth?"

He relaxed and looked at her puzzled. "It doesn't scare you?"

Miss Letia raised an eyebrow. "No. Not much scares me, least of all a child who has come running to this field to escape, the same as I have."

His eyes got round. "You're escaping, too?"

She nodded soberly. "I won't tell, if you don't, though." He looked at her soberly, like he wasn't sure he believed her, but maybe he wanted to. She kept her look open but honest. Finally he nodded. "Good," she said. "I'll get into lots of trouble otherwise."

He looked confused. "You will?"

Miss Letia sighed and looked away from him, over towards the hill. "I can only get my guard to go to the other side of the hill where he can't see me and I can't see him. You'll want to stay down here, away from his sight."

The boy shrank back into himself a little. "Okay. I will."

Miss Letia wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him. "Will you come sit next to me?"

He looked at her suspiciously. "Will you eat my energy?"

She laughed. For the first time in months. "If only nourishment came so easily. Even for demons it comes from emotions, not personal energy. I am not a demon, and neither are you."

His eyes got dark and sad. She did capture his hand this time. "Izark. You are not a demon." She held his hand tightly as he pulled to flee her. She wouldn't let him. "You've given yourself away to me, by reacting to that statement. Sit quietly. I am not afraid, nor will I go back on my promise to not tell. And I will say it again: you are not a demon. You are a child who is being made to carry too much weight before your time. Sit here and escape with me. I will let you be just what you are, except lonely. When you are with me, you can't be lonely, because I'm here."

His frightened face was filled with confusion. "What do you want from me?"

She considered him for a moment, then answered, "A bouquet of flowers. There are many here. Bring me one of each kind. Don't forget the greenery. The fragrant leaves are important and part of the whole as well. Then I want you to sit with me for a time." She wanted to escape with him, and not be lonely as well, if only for a short time. "Will you promise, if I let your hand go?"

He was standing straight and stiff, as if he wasn't believing her, then he suddenly bowed a cute, child's honest bow. "I promise." She immediately let go of his hand. He blinked in surprise. Slowly, he turned away, then looked around at the field. She watched him as he began to walk the field, carefully picking a flower here, a green stem there, comparing what he already had to what there was before him.

A few things 'bit' him, as they had prickly stems and he had to learn to be cautious with them. It made her smile, his reactions, but even more the fact that he slowly became lost in the work until he was even finding the smaller flowers that grew low to the ground. He was very meticulous, but it wasn't because he was afraid of her anymore. Now it was because he was interested, curious. That was more like it. Children were supposed to be curious.

She relaxed and felt the wind, smelled the fragrance of the field. Occasionally his own scent came to her, tantalizing her. He smelled musty, dusty, and ... tangy, like hot iron that is cooling slowly on the anvil. The wind, which had been fickle and a little high when he had been nervous, was back to what it had been before, though at times, she could see it blow through the flowers from her to him. She decided he must be remembering her at those times. Air and fire. He would own those two, some day.

Finally Izark looked up, looked around to get his bearings, then came towards her. This time the wind blew from him to her and she smiled. His bouquet smelled lovely, even with the herbs that weren't so pleasant to smell mixed in. He arrived in front of her, bowed, and handed her the bouquet. She gracefully took it. "Thank you, Izark. I don't think I've ever been so kindly and with such great manners handed such a beautiful bouquet before. I am grateful for your efforts to collect it for me." She bowed her head to him. "Please, sit with me now. I'm sure your feet would like to rest from your hunting."

Izark shifted on his feet slightly, then knelt in front of her, his hands in fists on his knees. She looked down at the bouquet, then lifted a large, beautiful white flower, with pale yellow at the interior and pale pink at the tips. "This is the lilly, Izark. The flower bud is edible fried, the flower itself is edible raw, though appreciated best with other greens. It has a hint of sweetness to it, and of course, tastes floral. The roots of older, strong plants, can be harvested and baked to be eaten, or dried and powdered for a flour, in emergencies. Baked is much better, really." She put it in his lap.

Izark picked it up, looked at it closely, smelled it, then put it back down in his lap. "I didn't know flowers had uses." He looked at her, interest lighting his eyes a little.

Miss Letia nodded. "All things growing have uses. Sit with me. I will teach you." They sat for over an hour with her going through every plant he had brought her, flower or green. Most had medicinal uses, a few others were food-stuff, some were only good for perfume. She was careful to explain the poisonous ones, and what they were most poisonous to, since some were more poisonous to the creatures men used, rather than to men. When they were done, the bouquet was back in Izark's lap. "Take the bouquet home, Izark. Dry the plants, and write down what I have taught you, keeping the plant with the page of explanations. You can memorize it better if you try to remember it again by writing it, even if you've forgotten parts."

He looked up at her. "Can I bring it back and have you correct it?"

"Won't your own tutors be able to do that?" she asked him, arching a brow.

He looked embarrassed. She tipped her head and waited. "Well...," he looked down, "I'd rather you did it, if I could meet you again?"

She smiled at him gently. "I would like that Izark...but if I am a fallen star, I don't know when I'll have to go back." He looked so disappointed. "I will try, Izark. I do always come here when I need to run away and breathe, but they don't often let me come. At the very least, if you keep coming back when you can, you can remember that here, you don't have to be lonely. If I've had to return, I'll keep you company from above, and the flowers will keep you company here below. If I'm still here and we happen to meet again, then you and I can keep each other company, like we have today." She held out her hand to him, and this time he took it himself. When they were looking eye to eye again, she smiled. "That is the best I can promise, Izark, I'm sorry. But I will always remember you, the boy who was able to be curious and explore, and for a few hours, just be a child."

She rose to her feet. "I've been long enough. If I don't go now, my guard will break his promise and come looking for me. That would make me break my promise." Izark stood with her. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Be well, Izark. Experiment here in the field with your fire and your air. They will aid you immensely in your years ahead. Don't be afraid of them, or they will destroy you. Start small - all things start small, even you, even me. Some day, you will do big things, and they will be wonderful and marvellous things. You have a kind, honest heart. The things you do will be kind and honest as well." She looked at him in the eyes with kindness and love. "Of this, I have no doubt."

She turned to go and he held on to her hand, pulling her back slightly. She turned and looked into his eyes. He looked surprised he'd done it, then blushed. "Ah...thank you. Thank you for teaching me and for your kind words. ...Will you tell me your name?"

She gently released her hand from his, then lightly stroked his cheek. "You could name me?" He paused, then shook his head. She sighed, taking her hand back. "Very well. I will tell you, but I am as afraid to have you know it as you were to have me know yours."

Izark paused and swallowed hard, then gave her a very earnest look. "I won't be. I won't be afraid."

"Good," she said with an encouraging smile. "Kind, honest, and courageous. With those three you will go very far indeed. Izark kia Tarj...I am Miss Letia kia Haag. It has been a pleasure to make your aquaintance today." She gave the boy a little bow, then turned and walked away, up the hill, moving slowly, for that was the only speed she had, hobbled as she was by her restraints. She was half-way up the hill when the wind came her way again. She waited and was indeed rewarded in a surprising way as little arms were thrown around her legs.

She turned partially, enough to touch him gently on the head, then caress it. She carefully pried him off, then pulled him around to stand in front of her. He wouldn't meet her eyes. She knelt down in front of him and took him in an embrace. He held very still, then suddenly flung his arms around her neck and held on very tightly. She could feel him begin to shake and she let him silently cry on her shoulder.

"Why?" he finally managed to ask.

She pondered the question. "Izark, sometimes...we are given things to do, and we must see them to the end, even if the people around us don't understand. We can't choose their lives for them. We can only choose our own - what we will do, how we will behave. If we let them decide for us, we lose who we are. I know who I am. Learn who you are. Be the best Izark there is, for there is only one. I will watch you from above. I look forward to seeing your heart blossom into the kind, honest, and courageous flower that it is."

"But...but you are, too!" he cried.

She pulled back and looked at him. "Yes, I am. Have you seen it, too?" He nodded, wiping at his face. "Well, that is good, then. There is at least one who has been willing to try to see the 'me' I see. I will not be sad, now." She put her hand on his head, then rose again. "Please, try not to be too sad, too. Where I will go next is happier for me than here is. There are people I love and who love me where I am going next. Some day, you will have that experience, too, of having someone to love and who loves you. Such a kind heart as yours will draw them to you. Leave them some space, okay? Don't become a closed and withered flower. Flowers close at night, but in the day, they open for the sun. Keep your secrets close, but when your sun comes, open and let it in."

He looked up into her eyes, then nodded. She smiled and nodded back, then took a step forward. He stepped to the side and watched her as she walked to the top of the hill. She turned back once, to look over the field of flowers, and at the black-haired Sky Demon child one more time. He bowed to her. She nodded back, then turned away and walked down the other side of the hill, returning to her guard, as she had promised. She held in her heart that day, and all the way to the gallows, the image of that child, and died with a faint smile on her lips, grateful for that one last opportunity of peace and to do good. She would do her part and keep her promise to watch over him, as one who was ignorantly called 'demon' for another.