It was your typical day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Bowser was plotting to kidnap the princess.
"Okay troops, it's time for us to do what we do best. Mess some things up!" said Bowser.
"Yeah, mess things up!" repeated the Goombas in unison.
"Now, go steal the princess for me, or you don't get a three week vacation like I promised" ordered Bowser in a vociferous
tone.
"Yes, sir!" replied the goombas.
Hours later...
Peach was in a ballgown twirling through her room just peaceful as could be. Suddenly, her phone started ringing.
Princess Peach picked up the phone and answered. It was her ally and sometimes best frenemy from Sarasaland, Princess Daisy.
"Sup Peachasaur!" said Daisy casually, as she munched on a tootsipop in her royal bedroom.
"I will be addressed as Princess Peach! Hmph" replied Peach.
"Oh, right. Well, your most noble majesty Princess Peacharama, I just happened to receive word that your kingdom
is about to be invaded. Bowser wants to capture you again, and stuff. I only know cuz I read leaf pamphlets" said Daisy.
Peach groaned "What's the real reason for this call?" she asked.
"Well sis, I've been thinkin! Thinkin a lot!" said Daisy, continuing to munch on candy.
"I'm not your sister" replied Peach.
"Aw, come on, metaphorically you are. And besides, we get along most of the time" said Daisy.
"Yeah, I guess that's true. What's the scoop on the Koops?" asked Peach.
"The Koops?" asked Daisy, who was confused.
"I'm just borrowing your informal ways, girl!" replied Peach.
"Oh, yeah, the Koops. Well it turns out the Bow wow man wants to capture you again" said Daisy.
"You mean Bowser?" asked Peach.
"King Koopa, Bowser, Koopmondo, whatever he calls himself. He wants to invade your castle and kidnap you again" said Daisy.
"Uh-oh. Whatever will I do?" said Peach.
"Really? That's your response? You know, word on the street is...never mind what the word on the street is, I just wanna know if the mushroom people are still buying your nonsense? Cuz I don't think they are" said Daisy.
"Wha-what do you mean?" asked Peach.
"Nothin. Just know that when Mario writes his memoire he'll tell the world that he was a normal Italian plumber until YOU kidnapped HIM. Say, Peach, back to what I've been thinking, I say we pre-emptively strike down this kidnapping attempt" said Daisy.
"Strike it down?" said Peach, who almost sounded horrified.
"Yeah. Would be totally awesome, good for the people, good for you, and good for everybody considered. Why didn't
you ever hire better security?" asked Daisy.
"I never wanted to be captured, Bowser's just so big and strong and his military is so much better than mine" replied Peach.
"Okay, so you're not evil, that's good to know" said Daisy.
"WHAT?" yelled Peach.
"Anyway, I've been thinkin' about this really awesome and totally politically correct sound and reasonable thing to do.
WE should kidnap Bowser and get revenge" said Daisy.
"Get revenge? I'm not motivated by anything like..like that" said Peach.
"Do you want that jerk to crash your castle and take you to a room of princess hungry Chain Chomps?" asked Daisy.
"No! You're right, I should stand up for myself more" said Peach.
"Exactly, and I'm just the girl to help you do it. My army can clobber those Koopas, cupcake!
My royal guards and my military are super strong and powerful" said Daisy.
"Really? I didn't know that" said Peach.
"Notice I only got kidnapped once?" said Daisy.
"Oh, right!" replied Peach, giggling.
"On the other hand, you get that handsome Bowser beast, I get that flippin' fart cloud riding space alien, Tatanga, but I still have it better off" said Daisy.
"Uh-huh. Ra-right. Right" said Peach.
"So when are we gonna do this girlfriend? I say we do it as soon as possible before that disgusting creep Bowser
gets to you." suggested Daisy.
"Is this legal?" asked Peach.
"Bowser's an enemy, we're allies, everyone hates Bowser, come on, it's politics" replied Daisy.
"I can't believe we're finally gonna do this" said Peach.
"Why?" asked Daisy.
"I've wanted to for years" said Peach, wiping a tear off her face.
Later...
Daisy and Peach ordered a combined army of lethally armed Toads with enourmas Bullet Bill Bazookas and futuristic laser-guns.
"In the name of the Mushroom Kingdom and Sarasaland, you all must surrender to our power!" said the armies.
Bowser's troops were all wiped out, because they didn't surrender, yet they were pathetic and unarmed compared to Daisy's
forces. The only one left was King Bowser, who was watching television and didn't even notice he was being lifted up by
a rope. Lemmy was in the room riding on a beach ball with only his feet.
"Uh, King Dad? You've got nowhere to go but up" said Lemmy.
"Hey, what's going on here? HELP! HELP!" shouted Bowser.
"I'll-I'll save you King Dad" said Lemmy attempting to grasp onto his father. But he fell down and failed.
Bowser continued to be lifted up.
"HELP! SOMEONE SAVE ME! MARIO, wait what am I saying?" said Bowser.
Suddenly, Bowser was up on an airship with Peach and Daisy.
"You had it coming you big nasty reptile" said Peach. Daisy clapped.
"There you go, sis! Assert yourself!" said Daisy.
"What do we do now?" asked Peach.
"Let's dress him up as a sheep and bake him a cake" suggested Daisy.
Later...
"Daisy had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Daisy had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow" sang
Peach, as Daisy took Bowser around the room. Daisy then suspended Bowser from a rope over a pool of lava.
"WHAT IS THIS?" yelled Bowser.
"Need me to spell it out for ya? R-e-v-e-n-g-e. Revenge!" said Daisy.
"For what exactly?" asked Bowser.
"For kidnapping Peach!" said Daisy, slamming a cake into Bowser's face. Bowser licked up the delicious cake.
"Revenge is delicious!" said Bowser. Peach and Daisy kissed Bowser's cheeks in unison, then mockingly presented him a
crown made out of dried Goomba feet.
"All hail the lionhearted sheep-turtle king who was originally supposed to be an ox!" said Peach.
"Actually, I like this so far, minus the lava underneath me. Oh wait, has no one figured it out yet? I BATHE IN LAVA!" said Bowser.
But much...much..later..
"How delicate your fleece!" said Peach, combing Bowser's fake sheep fleece.
"What shall we name him? Flopsy? Mopsy? Cottontail?" asked Daisy, putting a pink bow on Bowser's head.
"Okay, this was some bullcrap. These two don't understand anything! All the readers are feeling sorry for me, and this joke has gone on far enough!" said Bowser, as he called upon Kamek. Kamek broke him free from the rope, flew him back to land, and he broke free from his sheep chains and captured Peach. Daisy
called up Mario, and they teamed up to go and save her...once again, and not even telling Green Stache about the affair. BUT THIS TIME, THEY HAD A BACKUP PLAN...so Bowser kidnapped Peach much less often in the future, at least until he got a better army. A MUCH better army. Oh, and next, Daisy called up her old friend from the Brooklyn kingdom, Pauline, to help her with her Donkey Kong problem.