Chapter One: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
The sun streamed through Mary's curtains, the light filling her room with a warm, yellow glow. Mary sat up slowly, holding her sheets over her to cover herself as the spring air was cold and harsh in France.
She carefully moved her legs out of the bed and pulled her robe on before skipping across the room to the window. From there she leaned against the ledge and peered out at the vast woods that surrounded Court, the village just beyond merely an hours ride away.
She and Francis had just returned from their trip to Paris, the one he had been planning since his ear infection was cured. They had had a wonderful time but now they must resume life in Court, backstabbing, revenge, and the usual pressure to produce an heir. Sadly Mary was not pregnant as of yet.
From behind her she felt two arm wrap around her waist and a head rest on her shoulder.
"Good morning." Francis whispered, speaking it softly into her ear.
Mary smiled and pressed the side of her head to his temple.
"It's such a beautiful day. Maybe we could travel to the village. I would love to visit the Spring festival." Mary said hopefully, knowing the answer before it was said.
"We have a lot to do Mary. Responsibilities. And we can go to the festival at Court this afternoon." Francis said walking away to change.
"Alright. But do you think Catherine would allow me to slip away for a few hours this morning, I would like for me and my ladies to walk around the grounds. See the daffodils." Mary said as three maids arrived to help Mary dress in a fine sky blue gown.
"I suppose she could survive a few hours without her favourite daughter in law." Francis said with a smile, leaning over to kiss Mary lightly on the lips as she was helped into her dress.
"I'm her only daughter in law." Mary said with an irritated laugh.
"Yes but she still likes you the most." Francis said with a smile.
"Um..." Mary said, still sceptical but laughed it off. "She does seem much more fond of me since-"
Mary stopped just in time, remembering there were two nosy maids currently making her bed.
"Since we returned from Paris." Mary said looking over to make sure they hadn't heard her hesitation. Francis looked over at them wearily joining hands with Mary.
They left their chambers and made their way down the bleak hallway to the dining hall.
Sun flooded this room also, much more white and stark now, as it was no longer early morning. They made their way to the top of the table were Catherine sat happily shuffling through papers.
"Mary!" She said jumping up to rush over and embrace her daughter in law. Mary and Francis shared confused looks. They had not yet seen Catherine since their return and she usually went straight to welcome home her son and not his wife.
"Oh." Catherine said stepping back and glancing down at Mary's flat stomach. "Your not pregnant."
"How could you possibly know that-" Mary said quickly.
"A mothers intuition." Catherine said holding a finger up to silence her. Francis rolled his eyes at her which she caught. "I would have thought this trip to Paris would have given you plenty of opportunity, anyway. Mary you will need to return to me later for ointments and herbs."
Catherine turned quickly and headed back to her seat with Mary and Francis following behind.
"Mary!" Kenna said bouncing over to hug her friend.
"Kenna!" Mary said hugging her back, not expecting such a warm welcome.
"I have the most amazing news!" Kenna said holding Mary's hands as Lola and Greer joined them.
Suddenly Catherine stood up and peered down at her abdomen then looked back up.
"Your pregnant." She said with a sigh of annoyance.
"How did you know?" Kenna said angrily.
"A mother's intuition." Catherine said before sitting back down to finish her work.
"Is it true?" Mary said with a smile.
"Yes! It is, and Mary I know it hasn't happened for you and Francis yet, but it will soon and then our children can grow up together like we did!" Kenna said, throwing her arms around Mary. Mary smiled weakly at Francis who stood awkwardly behind Kenna.
It was hard for Mary. Catherine was always talking of mothers intuition, Kenna was pregnant, Greer had many stepchildren to spend her days with, and Lola...
Well Lola had John. Not only did she have a child, but that child was her husband's son. Mary had no children, but Francis did. If he died tomorrow he would die a father, but Mary would not be a mother. It hurt her deeply that she had failed to conceive a child, not only for France and Scotland but for Francis. She had promised him children, she told him she would make their dreams real and she wasn't keeping her promise.
"Mary are you crying?" Kenna asked.
"I'm just so happy for you Kenna. This is wonderful." Mary said as Bash entered the room.
Kenna ran over to him instantly, almost knocking him over as flung her arms around his neck.
"I get the feeling you have told Mary." Bash said.
"Yes, and she is very happy for us." Kenna told him.
"Well Francis," Bash said striding over to his younger brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Your going to be an uncle!"
"I'm already an uncle Bash." Francis said with a small smile. "And a father."
"Ah yes. Almost forgot about Sabastian Jr.!" Bash joked. It was a name Bash had given his young nephew after his arrival at Court. Being a bastard Bash loved nothing more then reminding Francis of how similar their situations are.
"At least my son won't try to kill his brother." Francis said pushing Bash's hand off his shoulder.
"Yes but try not to marry John off to your mistress?" Bash said which earned him a punch in the arm from Kenna. "I wa only kidding Kenna."
"Francis' doesn't need a mistress." Catherine said from her seat.
"Mother it is just a joke-" Francis started.
"No Francis. It is not a joke. I have worked too long and hard for you and Mary to be wed and I won't have you ruining it for something as stupid as a mistress. And Mary is stubborn so she won't so much a touch you if you were to obtain a mistress and I would like an heir to France before I die." Catherine said not looking up from her writing.
"I am not stubborn!" Mary said.
"Yes dear." Francis said.
Later that day Mary and Catherine were in Catherine's chambers, talking about ointments and herbs.
"Catherine, can I ask you something?" Mary said softly.
"Yes dear. Of course." Catherine said motioning for them to sit.
"Do you think Francis will be disappointed, if I don't give France an heir." Mary said quietly.
"What do you mean Mary? Francis would never be disappointed, how ridiculous." Catherine said with snort.
"Yes, but he has a son. I feel like I'm disappointing him..."
"Mary, when I was twenty four I had my first child. That was ten years after I was wed, years after people had lost hope of an heir to France. But I had my children, and so will you. In time. And if you must, ask Francis for reassurance. He will tell you himself." Catherine said softly.
Hours later and Mary was anxiously sitting in her chambers. She was in a silk nightgown with a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders to keep her warm as the evenings were rather chilly in Court. The windows showed her it was late, very late. Lights lit up the countryside from all the farms and villages surrounding the castle, and the familiar sound of crickets filled the room.
Just then the door to Mary and Francis' chambers opened and in walked Francis, closing the door behind him quietly.
"Mary? Have you been waiting for me?" Francis asked walking towards her worriedly. She didn't usually wait up for him before going to sleep.
"Francis I'm not pregnant." She said blatantly, tears rolling down her face.
"Mary I know that, what is it-" Francis said walking towards her with open arms but Mary took a step back which almost broke his heart, but he kept it together.
"I'm not pregnant Francis. I don't think I'll be pregnant tomorrow, or next week, or next month. We have to wait." Mary said, now speaking in gasps in between the tears.
"Mary..." Francis said walking over to her, letting her crumble in his arms.
"I'm sorry." Mary whispered.
"What are you sorry for. Children will come, but it's alright if that takes a while. We will have our children." Francis said into her hair before kissing her head softly.