Never Over
Authors Note: Hey guys! I wrote this to give myself a break from my Nano project (5 days and I need a break XD). It didn't really go as planned since there was supposed to be a little bit of KendallxLucy mentioned, but that didn't happen. Anyway, let me know what you think!
"Did you really think I would date Camille?" Kendall asks turning to face Logan.
It was around one in the morning, but neither boy was sleeping. They were both awake lying on their beds, neither talking to the other, but both knowing the other was awake.
"I don't know," Logan answers. "I didn't think so, but Lucy said that's what it looked like."
"I would never do that to you, even if I did like Camille." Kendall says, trying to locate Logan's eyes in the darkness of their shared bedroom.
"Honestly it wouldn't have even been that big a deal." Logan says, he too looking for Kendall's eyes.
"Really? Because the axe you had early said otherwise." Kendall replies with a grin.
"I admit I was angry earlier, but it was more about you breaking the code than actually being about Camille. I mean, it's not like I don't still care about her, but I'm not stupid. I know that the whole on again, off again relationship we have is never really going to amount to anything. And I know we're never going to have more than that." Logan told him honestly.
Logan and Kendall shared a lot of secrets in the dark of their room. It was easier in the dark, with them sensing their eye contact, but not actually seeing one another.
"There's no shame in admitting that." Kendall says in a comforting voice.
"Yeah, besides some of our codes are pretty stupid." Logan says with a slight chuckle.
"I don't know, some of them are pretty useful, like the no sharing underwear code, for example." Kendall says with a smile on his face.
"Okay, you know as well as I do that it was your fault I needed to borrow his underwear, Mister I can't keep my hands to myself for five seconds at James' sleepover." Logan points out while pointing his finger at Kendall.
Kendall chuckles. "Okay, that one was my bad. But it wasn't really my fault; you looked so ready to be taken advantage of."
Logan laughs. "I can't believe we're even talking about this. It happened so long ago."
"I know. What were we? Thirteen?" Kendall asks.
"Yeah, I think so. We were also way too young to be doing what we were doing." Logan says nodding.
"Yeah, no kidding. But if felt right at the time." Kendall says, trying even harder to see Logan's beautiful brown eyes in the dark.
"Yeah." Logan mumbles. "We should stop talking about this."
"I know. It's weird to talk about it after going so long not talking about it." Kendall agrees.
"We didn't need to. No one knew about us. It was one of those things we could just sweep under the rug and forget about." Logan says, for the first time moving his eyes away from where he thought Kendall's were.
"Can you ever really forget that kind of thing?" Kendall asks.
"Not really. At least not all the way." Logan says before rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling.
"I'm sorry for bringing this up." Kendall says sensing his friend's discomfort.
"I know every twelve year old kid who has a relationship for more than a week thinks it's going to last forever, but I really thought we would last." Logan admits softly.
"I know. I did too. I know I'm the one who broke it off, but I really did think we were going to be together forever. We were so good together."
"Yeah, we were. But back then being good together was playing hockey and eating fish sticks until one in the morning."
Kendall laughs. "It was more than that. We wouldn't have lasted so long if it wasn't."
"Yeah, maybe." Logan says, not really agreeing or disagreeing.
"Plus we wouldn't have lasted so long after calling it quits." Kendall mentions.
"What do you mean?" Logan asks.
"I mean that even when we weren't together, we were still pretty much together. We didn't kiss or anything, or say we were together, but things never completely went back to normal." Kendall says quietly, as though he's not sure if he wants Kendall to hear.
"Up until we got here." Logan supplies.
"Up until we got here." Kendall agrees.
They sit in silence for awhile until Kendall speaks again.
"I think that's why we grew apart once we started dating other people." Kendall says.
It's a vague statement, but Logan knows what he means.
"It was like the break-up was finally official. Before that… It was like it never even happened." Logan adds.
"We had to push apart," Kendall says sadly. "I couldn't stand seeing you with her. It's still hard sometimes."
"I didn't want you with Jo. It felt like you were just suddenly done with me. You stopped doing all the affectionate things that you had kept doing even after we broke up. I felt lost." Logan says before turning to face Kendall again.
"I know," Kendall says turning to face Logan. "It was weird being with her. It wasn't bad, but everything was so different. I kept comparing everything with her to the things I did with you. It was like comparing apples with oranges."
"I would figure." Logan says with a chuckle.
"It took everything I had not to crawl into your bed the night she left," Kendall says. He had wanted to tell Logan so badly since Jo left. "But I knew that wasn't right, especially after being so distant."
"I would have let you. I wanted to do the same after Camille cheated on me." Logan confesses.
"We're pathetic." Kendall announces.
"Yeah, we are." Logan agrees.
"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" Kendall asks.
"Every night." Logan says before getting up and lying down in Kendall's bed.
"That can be arranged." Kendall says as he wraps his arms around Logan.
They look in each other's eyes and smile. They don't know if they've ever really been over, but they're pretty sure that they never will be again.