Severus didn't want to do it. If he could think of anything else, he would have done it, but the library didn't have the book he needed, not even in the restricted section, and all the... "colleagues" he had had told him to talk to Malfoy.
Severus wasn't stupid. He knew the Malfoys were a very rich, powerful, important family in Britain and possibly the whole world, being one of the pure blooded families that kept it that way since long, long before halfbloods even existed. And that gave him two impressions: either the man would be one of those extremely self centered people – like Potter and Black were – or he would be extremely nice to him for being a Slytherin – because Malfoy wasn't exactly the best person to be around when you weren't from his house, Severus had heard. And honestly, neither of the options were exactly... good, for him.
First, if the Malfoy was a centered bastard like those two, he wouldn't even look at Severus before saying a big fat 'no' and then laughing it out to his friends. Second, if he was nice, he would want to know too much and Severus would feel weird, like he always felt when someone that wasn't Lily tried talking to him about things that weren't related to schoolwork.
However, he didn't have any choice, did he?
So, Severus spent an entire week watching Malfoy in silence, making mental notes about his routine, so he could get him one day completely alone and end his internal suffering once for all before the end of the year, or else he would fail in Potions.
(And really? Failing in Potions wasn't exactly something he would forgive himself for)
It was a Thursday night when Severus decided to approach Malfoy. The older man was coming back from one of the prefects' reunions, walking slowly through the hallway close to the dungeons, taking his time to get to the common room while he wrote down on a parchment with an enchanted pen that always had ink. Honestly, that was one of the enchantments Severus couldn't wait to learn. Everything would be so much easier if he just had constant ink...
Turning his attention back to the blond, tall man passing by, Severus took a deep breath and walked straight to him, stopping right in front of the man and staring up. Malfoy looked a bit startled as he saw the boy in front of him but stopped anyway and checked him up and down with a raised eyebrow.
"What are you doing out of bed in this hour?" he asked slowly, just like any prefect should do. Severus stared firmly at him, keeping his back straight and his arms next to his body.
"I need to talk to you, Malfoy. Do you have a book called "Advanced Potions for Dark Art Students"? It's by Abram Pajari, a Russian wizard that lived in the nineteenth century" he said, quickly, almost like taking a bad tasting medicine. He had taken several of those when he was younger. He knew the pain. Muggle medicine was the worst.
Malfoy stared at him for a second or two before he tilted his head with a smirk forming on his lips. Severus held back his want to move away. That normally didn't mean anything good. But what a prefect could do anyway? And everybody knew Slytherins usually used Dark Magic for everything.
"First of all, what is your name, kid?" he asked, and Severus furrowed his eyebrows.
"Severus Snape" he answered slowly. "What does my name has to do with anything?"
"Calm down. Call me Lucius, please" he said, and Severus held back a sigh. Seriously? He just wanted a book. It was just a simple yes or no question. 'Do you have the book?' 'Yes' or 'No'. Not so hard, right? "Well, Severus Snape, I do indeed have the book you need, but as a prefect, I need to know why you need one of the books the Ministry of Magic banned from being published in Britain"
Severus wanted to roll his eyes. He didn't. But he was very close to.
"I need it because I need to finish my potion to the next semester, or else I will fail the subject. None of the books in the library actually talk about this potion and I need the right ingredients" he said, and Malfoy – Lucius – hummed, considering the explanation for a few seconds before nodding.
"Very well. However, this kind of book does not leave my house for any means. That being said, you will have to come over to the Malfoy Manner to use it" he said, and Severus groaned internally. The things he had to do to be the best Potion's student.
"Fine. I accept, as long as no one – and I mean no one – finds out about this" Severus said, firmly, and Malfoy – Lucius – simply chuckled, nodding once more.
"Even though you are in no position to make conditions, I will accept, simply because I am a great prefect and I absolutely adore my fellow Slytherin comrades" he said, and Severus tilted his head with his eyebrows still furrowed. He could feel the sarcasm in the man's voice, but it wasn't anything threatening or mean. It was almost like a joke, one of those sarcasm comments someone would do around their friends.
Malfoy and he weren't friends.
"Thank you" he quickly said, before turning around and rushing back through the hallways of the dungeons to the common room. He could feel eyes on his back until he turned a sharp corner and soon enough he was back at his bedroom. All the other students were already sleeping, so he quietly dressed himself in his pajamas and laid on his bed.
He surely wasn't ready for that summer.
Finally summer had arrived and today was the first day Severus would go to the Malfoy manner. He had been extremely anxious and nervous in a way that wasn't at all good, aside from the fact that Lily was very unhappy that he was walking with people 'like Malfoy', as she had said. He explained it was only for a project but she was still untrusting. He decided to let her think whatever she wanted while he solved his Potion problems.
He walked out of his house without saying goodbye to his parents – not like they would care anyway – and walked to a train station. He knew the manner was very far away from the village he lived, so he would spend around three hours in the train. He caught the earlier train of the day – 4 am – and sat down, deciding to sleep for a while. He leaned against the window, holding his backpack tight against his chest. His books, pens, caldron, ingredients and a bit of money for something else he might need were in that backpack, apart from his wand, that he would use in any emergency. His life was inside that backpack. He couldn't afford losing it.
His eyes lazily watched the scenery passing by in front of them and slowly he fell asleep, feeling tired and weirdly safe for once. When he woke up again from a calm sleep, he was two stations from the one he needed to get out of the train. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and looked around. The seats around him were now pretty crowded, different from when he had gotten inside for the first time. He stood up when they stopped in the last station before his and after around ten minutes, he walked out of the train, holding his backpack close. If Malfoy – Lucius. Lucius – hadn't lied to him, he was around twenty minutes away from the man's house, five minutes by cab and fifteen by foot. He stopped in front of the street and waited patiently for a cab, waving at it. He climbed in and told the address to the man, and really soon, they were stopping again and he was paying the driver.
With a sigh, he started walking, getting into the forest in front of him and making his way through the trees and bushes. He understood why such a place should be hidden, but perhaps a trap to catch muggles would be enough. No one would be stupid enough to walk through that place for no reason.
Fortunately, he arrived the manner quickly and stopped in front of the porch. Malf... Lucius had warned him that it was enchanted, so he couldn't touch it unless he wanted to get really, really sick. Severus stopped in front of the huge porch, checking the manner out. It was huge, almost like a castle. He wondered what it was like to live in a place so huge. It was probably hell to clean it. He suddenly felt very lucky his family lived in a small house.
Sooner than he thought, someone opened the gate for him, and he looked down, finding an elf being the one doing so. Malfoys had elves? Well then. He nodded to the small creature and walked inside, holding his backpack almost protectively. The way was long from the gate to the door, surrounded by plants, flowers and... peacocks. The animals were beautiful indeed, even though Severus didn't see the reason why they would be there. Maybe it was just status. Probably everything with the Malfoys was just status. He didn't judge. He would have done the same.
"Welcome, mister Snape" the elf said as he opened the door to Severus, making him a bit uncomfortable. He nodded again, muttering a very soft 'thank you' before stepping inside, afraid that if anyone heard it, he would be accused of being one of those activists that wanted the end of the ownership over elves. He just didn't like people doing things for him, but he understood the necessities.
When he got inside, there was no one on the main hall. He looked around at the magnificent house, checking the fancy furniture, the fireplace, the flu passage, the pictures on the walls, the vases, cabinets, decorations, plants and so on. The place was almost like a castle, and most certainly a castle that screamed Slytherin everywhere, for some reason. Maybe it was tradition, just like with the Prince's.
After a few minutes looking around, he heard someone coming and turned to the sound, finding not Lucius, but a girl. Severus didn't know Lucius had a sister. She seemed as surprised upon seeing him as he was of seeing her. After a moment of confusion, she smiled and walked closer. She was very pretty, and she seemed nice. Both things made Severus step back, eyes wide. She was also way older than him, but not old enough to be Lucius' mom.
"Hello there" the girl said, contently. "I didn't know Lucius had visits around. Sorry for scaring you. I am Narcissa Black. What is your name?" she asked, and Severus shook his head before looking coldly at her again.
"My name is Severus Snape. I'm here for a book. Do you know where is the manner's library?" he asked, and she chuckled quietly at his cold ways before placing her hand on her waist.
"I could show you around, but I don't think it is polite to show someone else's house around with the owner's presence" she said, and Severus looked down. Now he would have to wait. Wonderful. "How old are you?"
"Twelve" he said, looking up at her and frowning lightly. She nodded and tilted her head.
"When are your parents going to come pick you up?"
"They aren't. I'm going home alone" he said, shrugging, and she frowned, narrowing her eyes before shrugging to herself and nodding.
"Alright. I'll call Lucius. You seem in a hurry" she said, smiling again before walking away and leaving Severus alone once more. He looked around quietly while he waited, both glad and disappointed that she had left. She was annoying, just like everyone else, but she wasn't that annoying, and he didn't like being alone in unknown places. Soon, however, he heard steps coming closer again, and he looked over to see Narcissa and Lucius coming over. "Here he is. Just as you told me"
"Oh yes" Lucius said, smiling lightly at Severus, making him frown. "You are the boy that wanted the advanced potions book. Come with me. I will show you the library. Make yourself at home" he said, nodding to him, and Severus held back a chuckle before following the older man through the hallways of the manner. "Do you want anything? Water? Juice? Snacks? Breakfast? Did you have breakfast?"
"I'm fine, thank you" Severus said, looking around quietly. Every single step he took, he felt like he was stepping further and further inside a castle. It was amazing and weird at the same time. Soon, they reached a huge wood door, and Lucius pushed it open to reveal the biggest, most wonderful library Severus had ever seen. He stopped by the door, his eyes wide. That place was heaven.
"Did you like it?" Lucius asked, and even though Severus wanted to lie, he knew there would be no way possible after the surprised and amazed face he had just made. So, he just nodded. "Wonderful. The potion section is over here. Come" he said, and Severus followed the Malfoy to the correct section, three sections away from the door to the left. "I'll leave you to it. Whenever you want anything, ask Daisy. She's the elf responsible for the library. She's always around, so simply call her name and she will come" he said, before walking away.
Severus took a deep, calming breath as he saw himself alone once more. He started to look for his book and quickly found it. He sat on the nearest desk and opened the book up, digging it with all the excitement he had. As he searched for the potion that he wanted, however, he ended up finding at least five other potions he wanted to do, so he wrote them down before actually starting to read about the potion he was currently making.
But as they say, time flies when you are having fun, so as Severus was finishing the first chapter of the potion – and there were at least other four chapters – the girl from before – Narcissa Black, if he remembered correctly – arrived and stopped next to him.
"Hey, Severus" she said, softly, smiling, and he looked up quickly. What did she want? He was busy! "Sorry for bothering you, but Lucius told me that if you don't come eat lunch right now, he won't let you return for the book tomorrow" she said, and he furrowed his eyebrows. What? He was being threatened for lunch?
The Malfoys were ridiculous.
"I'm on my way" he said coldly, quickly finishing the last words of his notes before standing up and following her quietly through the hallways of the manner.
"Let me make a very unpleasant question now, Severus" the girl said, and Severus tensed up a bit. Alright. He knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time before the mocking started. He could do this. It was for the greater good. "Are you always grumpy like this or is it just today? You're an eleven years old boy. You shouldn't be so angry all the time!"
Severus took a while to answer, still not believing that she wasn't really making fun of him. She seemed... concerned? The only person in the world that got concerned about him was Lily... He didn't know how to respond.
"Um... I guess...?" he muttered, and Narcissa looked at him confused and a bit pitiful. "I mean, I don't have a lot to be happy of. So I'm usually like this" he explained, but she didn't seem happier. Luckily, they arrived the great hall quickly, where lunch was being served. There were no adults on the table, only Lucius and two places done next to his. Wonderful. Severus sat on the closest one before looking down to his lap in silence. He hated this.
The house elves started to serve them soon after they were sat down. Severus nodded to the elf that served him and watched Lucius and Narcissa in silence as they talked and started to eat. He copied Lucius' every move, afraid that they would judge him for not knowing etiquette. The food was delicious, better even than what they served at Hogwarts, but Severus didn't let himself go crazy for it, even if it was probably the only decent meal he would have for several days. When Lucius stopped eating, having eaten a bit more than half of the plate, Severus stopped as well, even if his stomach begged more. He hadn't had breakfast at all that morning, but he would be fine.
"You are done as well?" Lucius asked, turning to Severus for the first time that meal. He nodded, making the older man smile. "Great. You can return to your studies. And as I know you won't finish them today, feel invited to come back whenever you like" he said lightly, and Severus nodded slowly, almost shyly, before excusing himself and going back to the library.
Lucius didn't seem too bad after all.
Two weeks went by like a blink of an eye to Severus. He returned to the Malfoy's Manner almost every day, and slowly became used to Lucius and Narcissa always being around and making random comments about something that he liked. One afternoon, Lucius told him everything about a painting in the living room, and then taught him a spell that would clean his clothes better. Obviously Severus could only use it in Hogwarts, but it would make his life ten times easier. Narcissa also taught him a bit about the Blacks, and gave him a special flower she grew on her garden that never died.
Everything was great for the first two weeks. But obviously that not everything could be perfect, so one day, while he was studying and finally finishing the last chapter about his potion, he was called to the great hall to meet a few guests. Confused as to why he, a guest, had to greet other guests, he walked to the great hall, trying not to make a sound. He stopped next to a pillar, and looked over at the guests. He couldn't see them very well from where he stood, but he knew that laugh way too well.
"Hey, big cousin! Looking bad today, as usual. I tell you every time, just cut your hair off. It's horrible" Severus heard none other than Black – yes, Sirius Black – saying, only to laugh loudly at his own stupid words. He heard a soft, feminine chuckle, and then a slap. "Ouch! Andrs!"
"Quit it Sirius. This is my sister. Be nice" a girl said, and Severus moved a bit to the side, trying to see who it was. That was his biggest mistake, as once he moved away from the pillar, Black saw him right away, and gave him the biggest smirk he could master.
"Wait wait wait" Black said, calling the other's attention. Severus could see everyone now: two girls he didn't know, Black, a small boy next to him, Lucius and Narcissa. Lucius seemed to be almost exploding in hatred, while Narcissa and the other two girls were just staring at Black. "Look who we have here. Snivellous!"
"Who?" one of the girls said, turning to him together with all the others. Severus moved back, frowning at Black and taking his wand out of his pocket with no hesitation whatsoever, making the boy laugh deeply.
"Snivy. You can't hurt me here" he said, walking closer to Severus. He knew it was true, but his grip on the wand only got tighter. "You can't use magic outside school. And you are in my territory. You can't hurt me in front of my family, can you?"
"Yes I can" Severus answered right away, growing deeply. "I don't care about the consequences. Don't come close to me. I'm warning you Black" he said, and while Black was ready to get his wand out as well, Narcissa frowned and walked to them, stopping between the two and crossing her arms while staring at her cousin.
"Severus is our guest. Don't you dare mess with him, Sirius. He's a Slytherin. If he gets hurt, your father and mother will learn about this, and they won't be happy" she said, and Black frowned at her before letting go of his wand and smirking.
"I wasn't going to do anything really. Bye Snivy" he said, before waving his hand and rushing off to the garden. The other girl sighed softly and followed him with the other small boy on her arms, while the second girl, clearly older than the other two, chuckled and walked away, seeming to be looking for something. After all, Severus was left alone with an angry Narcissa and a pissed off Lucius.
"Your cousin is... Ugh" Lucius said, angrily, and Severus looked at the older man confused. Well, Black surely had done nothing to Lucius himself – who would anyway – but Lucius still looked pissed... He then looked at Narcissa, who was watching him as she unconsciously brushed her hair with her fingers. Oh. Oh. He knew what that was. Well, clearly that wasn't his problem, even though he had to admit that Lucius and Narcissa seemed, indeed, pretty close.
"Oh, I know. Believe me" Narcissa said, and Severus nodded, frowning to himself as he put his wand away.
"He is indeed. He's friends with James Potter. I hate them" he said, quietly, making Lucius and Narcissa look down at him. He rubbed his arm in embarrassment, but his eyebrows were still furrowed out of hatred for Black.
"Why do you hate them?" Lucius asked, walking to Severus. He shook his head, but then sighed, looking firmly at the ground.
"They make fun of me. A lot. It's not very nice. I hate it. I hate them" he said, crossing his arms to make himself look stronger. He was never good with dealing with feelings. He felt Lucius' hand on his shoulder and looked up, staring back at those grey eyes in front of him.
"What do they do?" he asked, quietly, and Severus sighed. He didn't know Lucius for so long, and he hadn't owned his trust, but he really wanted to talk about it and he hated bothering Lily with these types of complains.
"They call me names, like Snivellous. They make fun of my hair because it is greasy, they make fun of my nose because it is big, and they make fun of my second hand books and clothes because I can't afford many new things. They push me around the hallways and they make my books fall on the ground. And they... They..." he stopped, sighing quietly. "They are stealing my best friend, Lily Evans"
"Well... I don't know who Lily Evans is, but... I know I can help you with everything else" Lucius said, smirking, and Severus looked up to him. "Whenever they do anything like that, you can call me and I promise you we will crush their silly, stupid dreams. Alright? We will make so much fun of them that they will run away like the crybabies they are"
Severus couldn't help but give a weak smile at that, nodding. That sounded pretty fun indeed. Maybe Lucius wasn't so bad after all. Narcissa smiled down at him and nodded as well, tapping his head.
"Exactly. Don't mind my dumb cousin. He's only like that because his father hates him" she said, but at Severus' light flinch, she frowned. "I mean, its not nice, but he deserves it. He's not a good child"
"He really isn't" he mumbled, and then shook his head. "I'll return to my studies. Excuse me" he said softly, before walking away again. He stopped behind the pillar and watched Narcissa and Lucius quietly talking in the middle of the hall. They seemed pretty close, almost like a married couple. Severus gave a small smile and shook his head. They would probably kill him if he said something like that out loud.
Well... Something told him he would have plenty of time to catch up on these two later. Now he had to focus on his potions and make sure of stay as far away from Black as possible. He walked down the hallways back to the library, and sat on the table he was before, quietly finishing the last chapter of the potion.
Around two hours after he had left the hall, someone sat in front of him and he jumped up, not having realized the person was there until they were sitting down. Luckily for him, who was there was Lucius, staring at him with soft eyes and a calm expression. Severus stared back at him, waiting for him to speak, and so he did.
"Did you know your eyes freak me out?" he said, and Severus frowned deeply. Even though he seemed serious about the accusation, that wasn't something very... Lucius Malfoy to say.
"You wait two weeks to start with the small talk, Lucius? Seriously?" he said, tilting his head to the side, and Lucius raised his eyebrows before chuckling softly.
"You are also very sassy for a first year student. But that you obviously know" he said, and Severus held back a smirk. Well, that was a compliment.
"Thank you. What did you come here to do anyway?" he asked, returning his attention to his book and taking a note of how to correctly deal with seaweed. Lucius hummed quietly and shook his head.
"Nothing. Just talk. It really impresses me that you are so advanced in potions as you really are. I mean, I only knew about the book you spoke of because my Defense Against Dark Arts professor gave us an assignment about a potion to make one temporarily immune to vampire and werewolves attacks that was better detailed in the book you asked me" he said, and Severus nodded. He had read about that potion. Very efficient, easy to make if you had the correct ingredients. Extremely specific. One of his favorites from the book. "You are really talented, that's what I mean"
"Thank you. I've heard you are talented in charms and spells. Everyone has a favorite subject" Severus answered, and Lucius chuckled, calling his attention.
"Well, thank you. However, I have to differ. When you are talented in a subject you like, its understandable. However, you seem to be quite fond of Defense Against the Dark Arts and even so, you are one of the best Potion students Hogwarts has ever seen" he said, and Severus furrowed his eyebrows. He had never told Lucius about his interest in DADA. Never. Lucius laughed again. "Relax. I'm not reading your mind or anything, though Cissa is really good at it. No, no. I'm just a good listener, and a good observer. You also know a lot about magical creatures, and it wasn't once or twice that I found you sneaking in the forbidden section of the library. I'm a prefect. I know"
"I'm better at Potions. That's enough for me" Severus said, feeling a bit attacked at the moment by how much Lucius seemed to know about him just by spending two weeks with him. However, the older man simply smiled and stood up.
"Never give up, Severus. You might be a great DADA teacher one day" he said, before slowly walking away from the table. Severus watched him in silence, not quite believing his words. Lucius then stopped and turned around, smiling. "Your eyes are really scary though. Lucky you" he said, mysteriously, before walking out of the library and leaving Severus alone.
For some reason, those words had actually made a small bubble of hope inside Severus that he had never felt before. For the first time, it felt like someone actually believed in him and it wasn't out of pity, like Lily. It felt real, and it felt good.
And if that was what felt having a friend, then Severus didn't want to lose it, even if he would never admit it, not even to himself.