Just 'Friends'

Everyone knows how oblivious they are.

I came across a really funny quote on the profiles of several authors on FanFiction and decided to write a silly oneshot on it. Something light in contrast with the current atmosphere in RAC, a fanfiction that I am working on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or any other characters associated with the story.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

- Unknown

Deer Dum Diery, (Hmm, maybe next time, I should start wif "DDD" instead. Haha!)

Today was and is still going to bee awesum. Iggy wanted to play a prank on Max and Fang, and it actually worked! Well, I think it is going to. Max is going around wif a confused expression on her face, and just now, Fang asked me about the paper that he got. I think Iggy's idea is working. They didn't even suspeck that it was my writing.

I bet him and Ella are having a good laff together in the kitchen. (He's been teaching her how to cook. Dr. Martinez was delited when she found out dat Iggy was the "dream chef" and immediately ordered him to give Ella cooking lessons so whatever she cooked would not turn out to be poison for the rats. Ew. Imagine rats with stomach aches. Rat fart. I wonder what it smells like. Certainly won't beet mine.)

I should get back to working on beeting my longgest fart rekord.

Yours troolley,

Gazzy AKA Da Gasman =)

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, in somewhere on the planet Earth, in a certain country on Earth, in the room with the television in house of Dr. Valencia Martinez, a heated argument was going on between two oblivious lovebirds.."

"Nice one, Ella," Iggy chuckled. "Didn't know you read that many fairytales." At that, Nudge's face brightened up considerably and as she opened her mouth, the two older children braced themselves for a long rant on fairytales.

"Ooh! Fairytales! Can you tell me one? I've heard of Snow White, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mer - "

"How did you come up with that quote, Iggy?" Ella asked, cutting Nudge off. The latter scowled, but curiosity kept her quiet. She, too, wondered what had caused that brilliant stroke of ingenuity.

"I don't know. I think I came across it somewhere. Well, either way, it's true, isn't it? Though I'd really like to change that word 'friendship' over there." Iggy laughed.

"Maybe 'love' would be more suitable," Nudge remarked, and she grinned.

"But love isn't like peeing on yourself!" Ella commented. "Okay, maybe their love is. You should have used 'love', Iggy."

"Yeah, but I don't wish to have my head on the chopping board, thank you very much," Iggy replied dryly. They laughed.

"Shush! They're coming our way," Iggy whispered, cutting everyone off. The trio huddled back into the kitchen, ears pressed against the wall, trying their very best to eavesdrop as Max and Fang made their way to the spacious area right next to the kitchen. They stopped right in front of the television, which was switched off.

"Natural light from the sun.. Invisible camera.. And action!" Iggy whispered and the girls giggled.

"Seriously, Fang, do you think this is funny? It's ridiculous!" Max snorted and waved a torn slip of paper in his face, similar to the one he was clutching in his left hand. He grabbed her moving arm with his right hand, his eyes boring steadily into hers.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he questioned, and Max rolled her eyes. She started to laugh hysterically, her voice high and shrill as she became more agitated for reasons that Fang could not comprehend nor guess.

"Do you want me to read this out? Do you actually think I'll play such a silly joke on you?" she retorted, and pulled her hand away from Fang's grasp rather violently. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself," she read out loud, a mocking edge to her voice. There was a rather awkward moment of silence as Fang stared at her incredulously.

To her immense surprise, he snorted and started to chuckle. His eyes crinkled and he started laughing one of his rare laughs. Max's cheeks turned a rather light shade of pink.

"Go on, take mine and read it," he smiled, and pushed the slip of paper he was holding into Max's hands. She looked at him warily, and slowly lifted it to her eye level.

"Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." She looked up, her brows knitted in confusion. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Look, let me show you," Fang said, smiling faintly. He took both slips of paper from Max's hands and joined them together at the torn sides.

It was a perfect match.

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling that it brings," they both read out together in unison. Fang chuckled again as understanding crossed the face of his companion.

"How profound," Max muttered sarcastically. "I wonder who wrote it, though. The spelling is atrocious."

The pair creased their eyebrows as they scrutinized the conjoined pieces of paper. The untidy scrawl, the black ink, and the spelling..

"Frensheep is like peeying on yourself, every1 can c it but only u get the warm filling that it brings."

Max let out a breath she did not realise was bated.

"Gazzy," they both whispered at the same time.

"Bravo!" Iggy suddenly exclaimed and jumped out, and both Max and Fang jumped away from each other. Neither of them noticed the two giggling girls hiding behind the wall. "You smart lovebirds have figured it out. What a great show of teamwork!"

Fang raised an eyebrow and shot Max a sideways glance.

Max grinned.

"We'll show you real teamwork," she uttered, her voice suddenly tinged with dark humour.

"Uh oh," Iggy remarked, and took a cautious step back. Ella and Nudge hastily started to pretend to mess about in the kitchen just in case Fang and Max saw them and became suspicious. Nudge opened the refrigerator and grabbed the nearest thing she could lay her hands on. She was disgusted to find that it was a raw fish. "Ella! Nudge! Help me!" Iggy whispered out of the side of his mouth.

Ella shot him a sweet, innocent look.

"Help you with what?" she asked, her voice dripping golden honey. The two leaders of the flock walked into the kitchen and Nudge giggled as Max regarded them closely.

"Hand me that fish!" Max demanded. Nudge hastily shoved the slipperly fish into Max's hands, and the young girl crinkled her nose in disgust.

The other occupants of the house did not bother when they noticed Max and Fang chasing Iggy around, each brandishing a herring and a broomstick respectively.

-FINIS-