A/N: I'm not quite sure what made me write this. It made me quite sad to write, in fact. I hope you guys like it even though it's character death. I tried by hand at second person and future tense, too.
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych. Which, make no mistake, is definitely a good thing ;)
Warning: Character death.
P.S. Have you been watching Psych season 6? I think it's veeery good so far!
When the day comes, you won't be expecting it.
You will be in bed, in fact. You will be asleep at first, when the call comes. You will roll over, disconnect the phone and go back to sleep. Because honestly, you will be tired, and you will not feel like talking to Shawn, who you will think is probably the person calling.
Which is why you won't have gotten the dozen or so calls. You won't understand that anything has happened.
You will wake up at a more decent time, get dressed. Leave your phone on your nightstand.
Which is why you will have missed 6 more calls from them- Juliet, Henry. Lassiter even.
You will leave for work, secretly disappointed that Shawn hasn't called you to do one of their crazy stunts.
(And if he asks, you will just scoff, and tell him that you have a real job thank you very much.)
You will miss Juliet's car, driving up to your apartment. You won't see her that morning, will not be able to answer the door when she knocks for three minutes straight.
And you will work (translation: play computer games) until deciding to work on your route.
Which is why you won't be told, the news being put off for longer, because Lassiter will have just missed you, pulling into the pharmaceutical company's parking lot as you will have left.
And you will enjoy your day for the most part, because it is a normal day. A day that you like.
(But, though you won't admit it to Shawn, it isn't really the best kind of day- because that kind happens when you spend it with him.)
You will notice that you're missing your phone, but your stomach will motivate you to get dinner instead of going back home to retrieve it.
Which is why you won't see the 24 texts. They will all be about the same thing.
You will flirt with the waitress, eat great food, and have an amazing night. You will be laughing and smiling. You will think of how you will tell Shawn about the waitress, how you have gotten her phone number.
(Oh, how you will brag to him, and laugh because you will have proven him wrong- you can so get a girl to go out with you. He'll see.)
You will be driving home, and you will decide to stop by the Psych office- after all you will not have seen Shawn all day, so why not hang out? Maybe you'll watch some movies, you will think. And the building will be dark. As you drive by, you will see there is no light in the windows, so you will not stop, you will just keep driving.
And, in those few seconds, you will notice the flashing lights of police cars and even an ambulance. They will be parked by the office. You will shake your head, and you will feel sorry for 5 seconds for whoever the vehicles are for. Then you will turn on the radio as you continue on your way home.
You will be in a good mood, because you will have had a good day. You will not cry, shout, get angry. Because you will have avoided the information that would have ruined your day. That would have, to tell the truth, ruined your life.
And when you will get home, you will forget about your phone, not remember disconnecting the landline. You will eat cereal and you will watch Seinfeld. You will laugh and you will decide to read a book before going to bed. And when you will get back to your room, you will see the phone, remember. You will reconnect it.
And then the messages will pour in, as the automated voice will say "You have 33 new messages."
You will pick up the phone, surprised, and you will listen to the first. It will be Juliet's voice talking to you- Get down to the station Gus. It's really important.
And you won't notice the weird tone in her voice at first, you will just be confused, and move on to the next message. It will be Lassie's voice this time. His is strangely urgent as well- I don't know where you are, Guster, but we need your help- Spencer went missing...
And you will listen to the messages, growing numb.
Because, halfway through, the voice mails will change. They will not tell you to come to the station. They will tell you to come to a hospital.
And you will drop the phone, not listening to the last few messages at all. You will grab your coat, trying not to let the panic get the best of you.
You will drive to the hospital, and you will drive by the Psych office on the way. You will drive a little faster when you remember the police cars and the ambulance from before.
You will burst into the emergency room. You will not be having a good day any longer.
(Because, no matter how many times you threaten to kill Shawn, there is no world where you would actually want him hurt.)
You will talk to the first person wearing scrubs that you see. They will direct you to a waiting room, and you will see them.
Henry will be sitting in a chair next to Lassiter, both men stony-faced. And you will see Jules, who will tackle you in a hug that you are too horrified to return. And she will pull back. You will see the tears on her face, and your pulse will beat faster, you will have trouble standing up. Because those tears will tell you that something is seriously wrong. This isn't a simple matter of broken bones or bruises.
And a woman in green scrubs will walk up, will ask you to please come with her. And she will say she's sorry for your loss.
You will have trouble moving, because the sentence will be ringing in your ears. You will notice that you are crying.
Mechanically, you will follow. On the way down to the morgue (you will guess that's where you are going, and you will be more terrified when that thought hits), Juliet, still sobbing, will tell you what happened.
She will say how Shawn was kidnapped during a case, was taken early that morning. And you will feel a little colder when you remember unplugging your phone that morning.
Juliet will tell you how they tried to contact you all day.
(And god, oh god, you will remember leaving your cell at home, and you will struggle to keep from screaming when you realize that you could have done something to help if you hadn't.)
Juliet will explain, through her crying, how a John Doe turned up here, at this hospital. How he matched Shawn's description.
And she will tell you that it's not your fault, that there's nothing you could have done.
But that will do nothing to help you, will do nothing to release the paralyzing terror, will not relieve the crippling guilt already forming, because you will have already started to blame yourself.
And you will barely notice that Lassiter and Henry are crying too.
And once you will get down to the morgue, you will have to stay outside, because there is no way in hell you will be able to look at your friend's body.
(If this were a normal day, a real day, Shawn would call you a wimp and he would laugh. You would scowl at him and say that it's perfectly justifiable to not want to look at dead bodies. And Shawn would leave without letting you finish your sentence, and you would glare and think you sometimes hated him. But this won't be a normal day, and Shawn won't be there to say that anyway. And that knowledge will just drive the knife in a little deeper.)
And you will cry as you sit against a cold, white hospital wall. You will not know what to do, because Shawn, your best friend, will be dead.
And the knowledge that you enjoyed yourself that day will haunt you. It will tear at you, make it that much worse to know that you laughed, smiled, flirted while Shawn was being tortured, killed.
You will never fully get over it.