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** During Chapter 10 to Starless Sky
**Prequel to Un Pétrin sans Espoir: how delightful
[ words kept unsaid]
one-shot
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I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm
When you passed out
- Fall Out Boy
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Takeru Takaishi bowed in front of the class.
When he strode back to his desk, a thunderous round of applause trailed after him. From hearing it, Takeru felt like he was going to plummet into the doldrums.
The claps were not of praises or friendly welcomings directed upon him. It sounded of vagueness and uncertainty he - their class captain - was leaving. There was no point denying it anymore because it was real. The surreal and unanticipated good-byes were now concrete and final.
This was his farewell ceremony and there was nothing Takeru could do about it.
His knees gave way as he numbly sat back onto his assigned chair - his chair that belonged to him for the whole year. Was he seriously even getting attached to his chair? It was ironic that, to Takeru, even the wooden piece of furniture held some sort of sentiment in his memories.
Takeru raised his eyes, his own breathing finally steadying as he stared blankly at the teacher speak for the last time.
It was then that he felt a warm hand lightly brush over his.
Hikari Yagami, a petite girl with brown shoulder-length hair, caught his gaze. Although it was one basic gesture, it was enough reassurance. Her eyes were bright in concern and empathy, however she didn't whisper a single word of comfort to him. The two had a relationship that had always been beyond words, as they had been reading each other's body language since they were children. She knew exactly what he was feeling.
He cracked a brief smile at her; which she returned.
She was always there for him. He didn't know if he could cope without her. Even when his parents' divorced, Hikari had been there. She was never reluctant to provide a helping hand, or support him with whatever responsible or dubious thing he would decide on.
And that's exactly all you could ask for in a best friend, Takeru thought to himself.
For some reason, that very thought made him feel more sombre.
When their teacher finally dismissed the class, students flocked around him and wished him a safe journey with an influx of considerate, warm-hearted departing wishes. As the students gradually diminished, there was one left.
"Uh...Takeru?"
He raised an eyebrow, shocked as the girl handed him a cherry-red heart shaped box of chocolates. She was a student he had barely spoken to over the years. A meek, and quite cute, classmate that Takeru never took note of.
"This is for you," The girl said in a squeaky voice.
Takeru grinned. "Thanks Chiyako."
"Have a safe trip!"
The girl skittishly bowed and as she was about to scurry out the door, Chiyako almost ran into Hikari who almost lost her balance as she was carrying both Takeru and her own bag. Chiyako gave another brief bow before dashing around Hikari and leaving the classroom.
Hikari waited for Takeru to meet her at the door. She shook off the backpack on her right shoulder, passing it to its rightful owner, proceeding to put on her own backpack properly.
She snorted. "Don't you think she was a bit delayed? It's way passed Valentine's Day for Chiyako to be giving you chocolates."
"I didn't see that coming. At least she skipped the actual confessing part because that would have been awkward." Takeru scratched the back of his head.
"Yes, seeing as you are leaving," Hikari pointed out the obvious. She tilted her head, lips curled into a mischievous simper. "I always knew she had a crush on you. I don't know why though. It's not like you're that special or anything-"
"I think I'm handsome." Reading Hikari's playful mood, Takeru had interjected. He smirked. "Well, that's what my mother tells me."
Hikari clicked her tongue, disagreeing with him. "Not as handsome as Yamato."
"Don't compare me to everybody's heartthrob," Takeru replied, slightly irritated. "I'd rather be the polar opposite to Yamato. Although we're brothers and have similar physical traits; we are nothing alike."
"You may not be completely alike, Takeru, " Hikari seriously debated, "But since you describe yourself as the polar opposite to Yamato, it's good that you've finally come to terms with how ugly you are."
Takeru gave a low, sardonic whistle. "Wow, Hikari, you really do know how to strike below the belt."
"I don't think that's valid since you don't have any balls."
Takeru chuckled. "What?"
To another person, Hikari's biting comment would have come off as an insult. However, for Takeru, this was another day, another walk in the park.
"You need to grow a pair," Hikari quipped back, patting him on the shoulder.
Takeru rolled his eyes, following after his best friend who was already striding down the hallway.
He called after her, "Perhaps when you grow a chest, Hikari."
"You're mean."
"Not as bad as you," Takeru deadpanned.
Sarcasm. This was the tone that both Takeru and Hikari were fluent at whenever addressing each other; a commutative dry habit that they had obtained between the two of them over the years.
They didn't know who started it.
All they could remember was that their sarcastic nature stemmed all the way back to their older brothers (Yamato and Taichi, who happened to also be best friends). Their brother had a habit of endlessly bullying and mocking them, from making appalling smooching sounds to predicting that the pair were deeply in love with each other. Over time, Takeru and Hikari developed wittier comebacks to combat their older brothers, which led to their older siblings conceding and eventually surrendering.
Hikari gave a whimsical smile. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm the nicest person ever."
"Sure." Takeru rolled his eyes.
If one didn't know Hikari, they wouldn't believe she was capable of doing any wrong. Despite it all, Takeru knew how deadly she could get. She was smart, manipulative and conniving, using stereotyping of her to her advantage. Hikari could be as deadly (and horrible) as his brother's new, altered band name 'Knife of Day', and as razor sharp as Taichi's spiked-up hair. Yes, it was a bad comparison - but, in other words, Hikari was definitely a nutcase. Which was, partly, why Takeru and her got along so well.
They were quiet on the way back to their homes. Takeru was thankful that she didn't point out that it would be his last time to walk down these streets. The last time he'd pass the school's basketball court, the last time he'd see Tokyo Bay, the last time he could see students crowded around the latest JUMP edition at Family Mart, the last time he'd see the cherry blossoms falling down...the last time he'd be walking with her to his home together.
A corner away from Takeru's home, Hikari finally broke the silence. She turned to him and asked, doubtfully, "The usual Friday?"
"Wouldn't miss it," Takeru replied without skipping a beat.
"Oh. Well, I thought you'd be busy packing and-"
"I'm in."
Hikari gave a small smile. "What about the others? Should I invite Daisuke? Iori? Ken? Miyako-"
Takeru shrugged. "Up to you. I've already said bye to them."
She stopped talking, studying his facial expression. "Or did you just want it to be the two of us? Just like old times?"
"We're not exactly old, Hikari." He sighed. "But I wouldn't mind a quiet night. If the gang hang out it might get too rowdy and I've got to wake up early tomorrow…"
"Just the two of us then," she confirmed.
Takeru nodded.
The door opened before he knocked. Another time Takeru would have teased Hikari for being that eager to see him, but he skipped the opportunity.
Every Friday Takeru would welcome himself to the Yagami's household. His mother would often stay late and work over-time at the newspaper company on Fridays, so Hikari would invite him over. It turned into a tradition after that. Takeru became that adopted son that Mrs Yagami would (force to) feed, that other player Taichi would need whenever gaming on the playstation, and that other person that could actually tolerate Mr Yagami whenever he raved on and on about politics.
However, the Yagami household was not lively as it typically was.
"Where's everyone?"
Hikari replied, "My parents went out for dinner, and Taichi's at a soccer friend's birthday party."
While she had been speaking, Takeru was already raiding the refrigerator. He asked her, "Want some omurice?"
"No, I've already had something to eat." Hikari said, "I'd say that you can help yourself to the rest, but I see that you're already doing that."
"I'll pour you some cold ocha then." He drew out another glass, pouring it half-full before passing it to her over the counter.
Takeru sometimes felt more at home in the Yagamis than his own. He had never felt at home after the divorce, since his father and brother no longer resided with him and because his mother was constantly working. In other words, Takeru felt like he was living alone.
After Takeru had finished the dinner, they migrated from the kitchen, past the living room, into Hikari's bedroom and outside to her own balcony. Takeru took a seat, bending down and fishing through his bag for his parting gifts for Hikari.
"I brought this along," Takeru said, showing a bottle of sake* in one hand and the heart-shaped box of chocolates that Chiyako had given him that day.
Hikari smiled, snatching the bottle of sake from him, leaving the chocolates dejected in his right hand. "You know exactly what a lady wants."
"And you're nothing like a lady," Takeru muttered under his breath, causing Hikari to lightly slap him on the arm.
"I've got something for us too," Hikari said, placing the sake onto the table. "I'll be back in a sec."
Takeru nodded. He took two disposable cups from his bag and poured the sake into both of them. He unbowed the ribbon from around the chocolate box, slipping the lid under the base of it. Plopping a hazelnut piece into his mouth, he stretched out his legs and let out a deep sigh. The balcony was Takeru's favourite place in the whole apartment; he'd often be envious how Hikari had a balcony, while his apartment hadn't.
"I don't know when I'll get to see you again like this, Odaiba," Takeru spoke to himself, overlooking the night view from behind the railing. "You look marvellous tonight."
How often had he taken the city for granted. The way the city lights would glimmer and reflect onto Tokyo Bay. The long Rainbow Bridge that stretched from Odaiba back to Shibaura. How Odaiba was indefinitely peaceful in contrast to the rest of bustling Tokyo. The large, red ferris wheel at Palette Town that constantly rotated - how he'd always wanted to ride it, but had put it off because he was certain he'd be living in Odaiba for a long time...yet now he wasn't.
"Found it!"
Hikari had returned with two bottles of Kirin. She kicked his legs off her chair, taking a seat across from him.
"Shouldn't we stick to only sake?" Takeru eyed the beers hesitantly. They already had the sake that he had secretly snitched from Yamato's room when he had visited his brother the previous evening.
"It feels weird that you've brought something and I have nothing to offer you."
"I ate your omurice," Takeru pointed out.
"That doesn't count."
He looked at her, suspiciously, "Besides, you're never this generous."
"It's because, uh…"
In the dim lighting, Takeru could see her cheeks turn pink. He bit his bottom lip from laughing at her. She never was like this around him, but he knew that she was being 'nicer' than usual was because it was the last time they'd be with each other.
And it hurt…
"Here," Takeru shoved the cup into her hands.
She smiled, meeting his gaze from across the table. "Kampai!"
"Kampai," he said right after her, crashing their cups together.
After swigging the liquid down, his throat burned. As he set the cup back down onto the table, Hikari was already refilling his cup to the brim.
"Strong stuff. Where'd you get it from?" Hikari questioned him. She guessed, "Yamato's?"
"Yeah," Takeru grinned, sheepishly.
"He'll find out."
"It won't matter," Takeru shrugged. "Because I won't be here anymore. Whereas you…"
"Taichi's not as observant as your brother. Taking two bottles from his not-so-secret stash won't kill him. He might already think that he went through the six pack on his own," Hikari laughed.
She put little effort at attempting to uncap the lids from the bottles. Frowning, she simply gave up and passed it Takeru, who gave a protesting groan, but still flicked the caps off despite complaining. He passed one bottle back and kept one for himself.
Taking a sip from the bottle, he said, "I prefer beer over sake anyway. Sometimes I think Yamato tries too hard to be classy. It's all liquor at the end of the day; it makes you drunk either way."
"Yeah, and you're abandoning me. I won't have a drinking buddy anymore."
"Not like we always drink anyway."
Once in a blue moon they would. It partly did with the effort of having to obtain alcohol because they were both underage. Since their brothers had older friends, they had easier access...therefore whenever Hikari or Takeru felt like a drink, they'd thieve it from their brothers instead if they ever saw it lying around in their bedrooms.
It wasn't like they liked to drink for the sake of it; or to look 'cool' by being rebellious. It was more because the two thought it was funny whenever they'd get foggy-headed and rant on about stupid topics that made no sense whatsoever. They kept their drunk times to themselves, preferring to drink within each other than get smashed at a party and look like fools in front of everybody.
That, and well, Takeru preferred Hikari's company over socialising with a group of people.
He wasn't anti-social, it was just he wasn't comfortable around many people. Many students found him approachable and liked to talk to him because he was the basketball star, others adored him because of his older rockstar brother, people respected him because of his ability to lead a class, while many girls fawned over him because of his appearance. He wasn't completely oblivious to the latter. Being half-french naturally made girls have a second look at him; much to his displeasure.
Hikari didn't care about his accomplishments, his status amongst his peers or of his appearance. She liked him for being who he was, so whenever he'd step out of line (and sometimes be egoistic about it), she'd always hammer him down back to his roots and get him off his high horse.
In a sense, Hikari was similar to him.
She was a popular soccer player's sister. She was friendly with everybody. Her photography was countlessly plastered all over the school's art exhibitions (one photograph even making it to one of the top 5 photographs by high-schoolers in Tokyo). She appeared to be innocent, patient and had a gentle vibe (though Takeru thought otherwise). She was a perfectionist. Her grades were always exceptional and to many boys, Takeru noted, Hikari was described as a subtle kind of beautiful, despite her never putting much effort on her appearance.
Of course, Takeru knew her weaknesses too.
One of Hikari's major concerns, when drunk, were her insecurities with the main one relating to how she would think of herself never being able to reach Taichi standards. "I'm never going to be like him," Hikari would usually pout, in amidst having alcohol which made her spill drunken and slurred words that were laced with truth. On the other hand, Takeru would then always scold back at her, "But you're both different people! Don't compare yourself to him."
Whereas, Hikari never dismissed the fact Takeru's own weaknesses as she would endlessly lecture Takeru how she shouldn't feel pressured to live up to everybody's expectations.
In a sense, they were similar alright, which was reasonable to why they clicked so well.
The beer was now gone, and the sake had almost disappeared. Takeru reached over the table for the sake and distributed the remaining contents equally between them. When there was not a single drop left in the battle, he raised his cup up for another cheers. Hikari, again, clunked her cup to his and they downed the sake together.
Takeru felt the buzz. His body was tingling with warmth and his thoughts were muddled up, but that didn't stop him from speaking. He was guffawing, and soon Hikari was following in pattern. They didn't know what they were guffawing at, but it felt right and wrong at the same time.
"Remember that time when Taichi and Yamato were babysitting us, and they wouldn't let us go to the playground?" He barely managed to say, as he was already roaring in laughter.
Hikari's eyes were wide in amusement. "Yes! Yes! We made them fight with each other so that we could sneak away from them. What-what-what was it that you said?"
"Onii-san, Taichi said that playing the harmonica is only meant to be played by old men with moustaches. Will you grow a moustache?" Takeru recited, lips smirking as he recalled the memory.
Hikari had been laughing so hard, that tears had begun to form in her eyes. "My brother was confused, but he made it worse because then he started drawing Yamato with a moustache with a twig on the sandpit-"
Takeru cried out, "Yamato was so angry at Taichi and Taichi had no idea why. I think that's probably why Yamato stopped playing the harmonica and transited to learning the guitar."
"I know right? They were busy arguing, so we ran away from them and went for the playground. We were so happy that our plan had worked. And then you, Takeru, got too excited that you swung too high on the swings that you were thrown off and then fractured your ankle. We had to call for an ambulance. As the medics were about to wheel you off the last word you said, when you saw Yamato, in a delirious and pained state, was 'moustache'."
"Moustache!" Takeru clutched onto his stomach.
Hikari almost fell out of her chair, if it hadn't been for Takeru who had lifted his leg upwards to stop her from crashing onto the ground. Her brown hair was dishevelled, eyes droopy and her cheeks were blazing red. Takeru knew that if he looked into the mirror, he probably would be in the same state as well.
Takeru took it as a sign to call it a night. He got up from his chair, wobbly making it to Hikari's side as he helped her to go back into the bedroom. They sat on the bed.
"Lipstick...it looks good on you," she told him.
Takeru laughed.
Whenever Hikari was like this, it meant that she would fall off to sleep soon and that anything that came out of her mouth would not make sense. However, Hikari sat up. She stumbled over her own feet to her dresser and pulled out and orange-bronze lipstick. "This colour will suit you, TK."
Even resorting to his childhood nickname was another sign of Hikari having one too many. She had addressed him as 'TK' when they were kids because she had told him it was too hard to say his full name.
"Really?" Takeru raised his eyebrows. "I think that suits you more."
"No!"
He drowsily puckered up his lips, lying half-back on the bed. "Put it on me then!"
She squished his cheeks together so that he was looking directly at her. Concentrating, which proved to be difficult in her drunken state, Hikari straddled him and applied the orange-bronze on his lips. She motioned for him to smack his lips together and when he did, she reached for the eyelash curler.
"Don-don't need to do much!" Hikari said. "Your eyes are pretty enough."
Takeru laughed. "I know they are."
He could scent the taste of sake in her breath and her light, floral perfume. Since was inches from him, Takeru wondered whether it was her that was making his heart beat fast, or the alcohol. He laid down onto the bed and rolled onto his side to see the forgotten lipstick on the bed sheets. Takeru grabbed for it and rested it on the palm of his hands and as he was about to play with it, he felt her clumsily hobble onto his side.
It was cruel.
She rested her head on his shoulder, enveloping her arms around his torso into a taut hug, "I'll miss you."
"Same." He paused. "Hikari, I...I-"
"I know, Takeru."
He bit his bottom lip, while she simply snuggled closer to him. It was cruel. Every time Hikari would get this close, he couldn't help but think how much he fancied her - drunk state or not. And what was worse was that he knew that she felt the same about him.
If Takeru confessed to her now, when he had so many opportunities to do it, he knew it wouldn't be worth it. They both knew that it would be a fruitless to start a relationship when oceans would tear them apart. There was no purpose of starting something that would inevitably end.
The question mark between them had always been hanging above their heads, but they never had wanted to label their relationship other than being best friends as they didn't want to risk ruining their friendship if they were to break up. Besides, it was too late now, since he was going back to France.
She was nodding off. Takeru could feel her breathing against his neck and he could feel himself dozing off too since he could barely keep his eyes open. If he didn't get home in time, his mother wouldn't be impressed. They had a flight they needed to catch.
He wiped the lipstick off, staining the back of his sleeve with the orange-bronze. Remembering that he still had the lipstick with him, and seeing as he didn't want to get up to hunt for paper, he groggily took the lipstick into his writing hand and wrote on Hikari's arm.
Let's keep in contact. You will always be my favourite. I'll miss you. - love TK
Takeru languidly rolled off the bed, trying to be as soundless as he could. He pulled a blanket over Hikari's thin frame, then tucked the loose strands of brown hair behind her ears. Takeru gave a miserable frown as he observed her sleeping face. He definitely would miss her.
"Goodbye, Hikari."
Little did he know that as he had shut the door behind him, Hikari opened her eyes and started sobbing.
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(a/n) If you think this is the end, fear not.
This one-shot is set during Chapter 10 to Starless Sky & is the Prequel to my upcoming Takari story "Un Pétrin sans Espoir: how delightful". Therefore the Starless Sky and the upcoming Takari story are in the same universe.
Thanks for reading!