Hello children!!! Woo-hoo!!! I'm back!!! And this is part of what I'm personally dubbing:
My 'Back into Fanfiction' mass gift to all faithful readers!!!
Yup, every story in progress is now getting updated, (GET OUT! and my first discontinued fic) in honor of your insane patience for me(those who read the A/N I left in 'GET OUT!' before going offline will know what I'm talking about).
In other words, I'm back, over death, and ready to start piling humor on to your lives!
Enjoy!
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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, much less the sexy Uchihas *sigh*, every girl's fantasy XD
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This fic is a request for VampCrazygirl, I hope you like it!
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It was Itachi's fault.
Stupid Itachi.
Sixteen year-old Sasuke doesn't mind his brother's friends so much, sure they're all a little crazy in their own way, but they were definitely fun to hang around with. For instance, when he had turned fourteen, Deidara and Konan had bought him an icecream cake with a lot of random pocky types and soda, which only ended up being semi-eaten, for they ended up somehow getting into a wild cake-fight. He had to help get the icecream and chocolate bits out of Hidan's gelled hair, while Deidara, Itachi and Konan were in the bathroom washing out the stickiness from their long hair.
However, there are limits.
This was outside of those limits.
...
This New Year, instead of spending it with their usual videogame and junk-food outrage, Kisame had suggested something different.
Drinking
Of course, when one says drinking, it refers to the overconsumption of a variety of alcoholic drinks. Wow that sounded like it was out of the dictionary. After some bickering (and punches, how they got involved Sasuke did not know), they decided to at least break their tradition and go ahead and drink the last hours of the year away just this once; if something bad happened, they wouldn't do it again. They even asked Mikoto for permission, she had agreed, but said to tell Fugaku first, so they did. He too was fine with it as long as they did nothing stupid to attract the police.
...
After what happened, he was pretty sure they wouldn't do it again.
What happened exactly?
xXFlashbackXx
"Isn't that a lot?" Sasuke idly asked as Itachi placed the last bottle of tequila in the refrigerator. The older Uchiha glanced uselessly at him. "Probably, but there's nine of us, and Deidara's getting a little too excited at getting his first drink, he wants every type, not to mention he's somehow bringing out insane amounts of bottles." Itachi closed the refrigerator door with a mild sigh. "Isn't he under the drinking age?" the younger of the two asked as he followed his older brother into the living room. Both plopped restlessly into the sofa, their part of the preparations complete. "He is, but let's save that bubble-bursting part for later."
XxX
Sasuke was not surprised, Itachi actually meant it.
It was only 8 P.M, and they had begun to take the drinks out, switching the T.V to a channel showing the parties going around world-wide as an underdressed reporter spoke over the noise. Kakuzu had even purchased shot glasses, all the now-legal adults taking one as they seated themselves in a large circle, while the still-teenage Deidara whined in protest.
"How come I can't drink?" he cried childishly as Pein poured them all vodka to the brim. "You're nineteen Deidara, look even Sasuke's not complaining and he's younger!" The pierced man gestured over to the sixteen year-old who sat there in silence, nibbling lightly at a stick of pocky as he idly tapped away at the portable videogame console in his hands. The blond fell over, defeated, before a thought popped into his mind.
"What about Itachi,un?" he pitched in, while said Uchiha glared at him as Pein poured him some alcohol into the outstreached shot glass. "I'm twenty-one you idiot, I can drink whenever I want." Deidara fell over again. Of course, out of the entire group, excluding Sasuke, Itachi was the second-to-last youngest one. Ever since June of this ending year, Deidara has been the only one not completely allowed to do what he wanted, leaving him with Sasuke, who has been lovingly dubbed, 'chibi' by the group due to his age.
Konan, twirling a bit of her dark blue hair in her painted fingers, sighed as she lightly swirled some of the clear alcohol in her glass. "Fine, just give him a bit." Itachi got up to retrieve a glass from, oddly enough, the closet. Meanwhile, Deidara semi-bounced, completely excited at the prospect of getting his first shot. His face fell, however, when Itachi came back smiling, prompting everyone to look up at the usually emotionless Uchiha. Even Sasuke paused his game, wondering what the hell was wrong with his brother.
...
A solid silence followed, only for everyone to very literally fall over and off their seats laughing as Deidara gaped at the container in Itachi's hand, the Uchiha himself also in the same state.
Itachi had apparently gone through the storage of baby things his mother kept as memories. Ranging from the one-piece suits, to little pacifiers, and not ending at stuffed toys, Itachi picked out an unused bottle, the kind with a soft nipple for newborns. The blond stared in disbelief as Itachi offered it to him, his face red as he tried not to burst out laughing again.
"You're joking." he breathed out as Sasuke very audibly choked as he tried to go back to playing his videogame, only to fail as he too tried not to giggle at his brother's clever idea.
"Either you drink from here, or you don't drink at all."
Deidara glared, but took it anyway in silence as a still crackling Pein poured in a shot glass's worth of vodka into the bottle.
"Okay shitheads!" Hidan smiled as he raised his shot glass in particular, the other eight doing the same. "To the New Year!"
"To the New Year!!!"
XxX
It was now 9:20 P.M, almost an hour and a half has passed.
And yes, they're all totally intoxicated if you're wondering.
Zetsu and Pein were already knocked out, Kisame,Sasori, Kakuzu and Konan were outside in the front lawn drunkenly building snowmen and making snow angels,randomly singing carols to bewildered passerbys. All the while, Itachi, Deidara and Hidan were sneaking around the house like ninjas, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme with great emotion.
And Sasuke?
He was watching from his very comfy position in the couch, completely ammused and sober.
"Psst! Chibi!" Sasuke turned his head to the direction of the noise, only to find Hidan's head poking out of the arm of the other couch to the left. The zealot's eyes flickered side-to-side very cautiously as he disappeared, only to reappear at the other end. The silver-haired man proceeded to *roll* from the couch on the left to the one directly across. He once again looked around, his eyes calculating as he crawled behind the couch he now hid behind. Sasuke stared at Hidan as his head popped out once again, scanning his surroundings with a serious look on his face. Taking the chance of having no 'enemies' around, he rolled once again to hide behind the arm of the couch closest to Sasuke.
"What are you doing?" the sixteen year-old deadpanned as he continued to watch his brother's friend stalk around like in the movies. Hidan ignored him until he deemed it safe before answering. "Psst! Chibi!" he furiously whispered. The younger Uchiha sighed faintly. "Yes? What is it?" he whispered back, just for the fun of it. Hidan poked his cheek with one of the tequila bottles he was taking constant swigs from. "Do you want a little bit? It feels wierd having you just sit there while we're like this." Sasuke stared at the bottle offered. He has never been asked if he ever wanted alcohol, mostly because Itachi would kill the person. Hidan, of all people knows this, making the sixteen year-old guess that he must be a lot more drunk then he originally thought.
"You do realize Nii-san will murder you if he finds out you asked me that, right?" he advised, not wanting anything bad to happen. Hidan shrugged. "Red-eye always threatens that, when is he actually going to do it? Besides, it's not like I'm going to force you to freaken shovel it all down, just a little sip, that much doesn't get you drunk. If you like it, grand!" the zealot proceeded to flail his arms for emphasis. "If you don't, then just plain don't drink it again! Easy, isn't it chibi?" Hidan poked his cheek once again, prompting Sasuke to think. If he didn't like it, he just won't drink it again, simple. Plus, Itachi was already oh so very drunk himself, he wouldn't notice, right?
"Okay then." Sasuke agreed as he took the bottle, raised it to his mouth, and took one swallow.
It was rather strong, bitter as it made his chest burn. Hidan, upon realizing it, handed Sasuke a lime piece dusted with salt. "I forgot to mention, when you drink this type of alcohol, you bite into the lime, it makes it taste better". He did as instructed; took another drink and bit into the flesh of the lime to get the juice out. Sure enough, he had to admit, it tasted rather good.
"Not bad." Sasuke admitted as he proceeded to drink down another three gulps along with more lime juice and salt.
...
Too bad, Sasuke didn't bother to check the label.
...
This tequila in particular had a 55% alcohol content
XxX
It was 10:53 P.M
Sasuke has some trouble getting up, to be blunt. Everything was wobbly to him, and he had some trouble concentrating, until he heard Deidara yelling from the door.
"Itashi you bastardo!!!" he cried out, his voice slurred. "Help me get teh guys inside, s'il you plait!!! They're gonna freeze!!!"
Itachi stumbled over to the door in silence, slapping his face a few times. "Fine, fine. Ugh, I'm friggin sleepy!" he rubbed his eyes in an attempt to stay awake as Deidara opened the door, both exiting to retrieve the half-frozen idiots.
"Nii-saaaan!!!" Sasuke whined from the couch, too lazy and drunk to move. "Where art thou going?!" Itachi made a crude gesture towards his direction, making the younger Uchiha pout. "Don't worry about it, you just sit there, I'll be back." he said the last bit Schwarzenegger style, before yelling at Deidara as he exited. "Deidara you friggin hijo de tu madre(1)!!! You're supposed to shovel them out, not freaken join them!!!"
The door shut, leaving Sasuke in solitude for a few seconds before the door reopened a lot more quietly. Itachi poked his head in.
"Will you help me get them in?" he plainly asked, and if Sasuke didn't know any better, he would have thought his older brother was sober.
"Okay!" he sing-songed as he hopped up on his feet, nearly falling back down from dizziness. Itachi eyed him suspiciously. "What in the name of stupidity is wrong with you?" the younger Uchiha shook his head. "Nothing is wrong, gosh, I'm insulted." he puffed his cheeks childishly as Itachi dismissed his earlier thoughts. "I must be mistaken then, anywho, let's go get the idiots."
XxX
It was 11: 50 P.M
Both Uchiha's had merely dumped the guys in the living room, thrown blankets everywhere, put a few buckets here and there, and simply turned off the lights and called it a day.
Sasuke yawned as he got into bed, Itachi's bed to be more specific. He was too lazy to go to his room, and Itachi himself was perfectly fine with it, for he was too busy singing a Spanish ranchera song(2) off the radio.
Sasuke was pretty sure it was the alcohol talking:
...
Yo se bien que estoy afuera (I know well that I'm out)
Pero el dia que yo me muera (but the day that I die)
Se que tendras que llorar (I know that you will have to cry)
...
"Llorar y Llorar (cry and cry)!!!" he practically cried out dramatically, as Sasuke merely listened from under the blankets as he tried not to laugh.
...
Diras que no me quisistes (You say that you didn't love me)
Pero vas a estar muy triste (But you're going to be very sad)
Y asi te me vas a quedar (and you're going to stay like that)
...
"Nii-san, where did you learn Spani-" Itachi cut him off with a gesture of the hand, and Sasuke realized that he wouldn't answer until the whole song finished.
....
Con dinero y sin dinero (with money and without money)
Yo hago siempre lo que quiero (I always do what I want)
Y mi palabra es la ley (and my word is the law)
No tengo trono ni reina (I haven't throne nor queen)
Ni nadie me comprenda (with no one who understands me)
Per sigo siendo el rey (But I remain the King)
...
The song ended with the elegant flourish of trumpets, before the radio announcer took over. Itachi, now uninterested,walked over and turned it off, then went to lay down next to his younger brother, staring at the ceiling. Sasuke gaped at him, and Itachi stared back.
"What?" he asked still drunk. "Where the hell did you learn Spanish?!" Sasuke asked in disbelief as Itachi merely shrugged. "High school, I went for Spanish, Deidara went for French, didn't you hear him earlier cursing me out? Apparently, I'm 'un grand cochon'." Silence engulfed them. "What the heck does that mean?"
"Fat pig."
XxX
It was 12:29 A.M
Neither of them could sleep.
Why?
It was too hot.
Sasuke removed his shirt, leaving him in a muscle shirt alone before plopping back down. He was still drunk, as was the half dressed Itachi, and nothing was worse that being intoxicated and having everything being too hot for your liking.
"Stupid heater!" Itachi threw his own shirt across the room at the wall, as he ran his fingers through his hair, irritated. Meanwhile, Sasuke had his face pressed to the sheets, his eyes closed as he attempted to sleep through it. The older Uchiha, noticing this, gave a sigh before throwing off the covers and standing. Sasuke reopened his eyes groggily, before going wide.
"What the friggin heck are you doing?!"
"What does it look like? I'm stripping down to underwear!"
xXx
It was 8:00 A.M
That was how Fugaku found them.
He thought it was a bit odd when he found eight in his living room, asleep. 'At least they were neat.' he idly thought as he noticed the drunken liqueur bottles placed in a garbage bag, not a drop spilled. He decided to be nice for once and let them wake when they're ready, for he knew how horrible it feels to be woken up with a hangover, and he already knew Mikoto would be happy to remedy their headaches, so that's a plus for them. 'There's two missing' he thought to himself when he noticed that his two sons were not among the drunk. Thinking that they were in their respective rooms, he went upstairs to wake the one he knew was most definitely not drunk.
Turns out he was wrong.
Sasuke wasn't in his room. Wondering why, Fugaku decided to go wake Itachi and ask him. As he opened the door, he was greeted with something that looked very... odd...
Clothes was scattered around, and two figures were asleep on the bed. Upon realizing that it was Sasuke using Itachi's arm as a pillow, Fugaku faintly gagged a bit, not even wanting to know what the heck happened.
In fact, he was afraid of waking them up at all.
Slowly closing the door, he quickly creeped back downstairs to the kitchen, only to see that Mikoto was already preparing breakfast for everyone. She smiled at her husband, only for it to fade upon seeing the look on his face. "Dear, what's the matter?" she asked, a bit worried.
"I saw nothing!" he abruptly yelled before quickly rushing out.
"What?"
xXEnd FlashbackXx
Stupid Itachi.
Yes, Sasuke was still sulking.
After clearing up their mess and bidding goodbye to their hungover guests, Sasuke stayed alone in the kitchen, his head pounding horribly due to his hangover. Mikoto had given him some aspirin, and after scolding him for drinking, she left to go buy some groceries. He had to admit, his father was acting odd. Upon seeing that he was occupying the kitchen table, he had stared at him, paled considerably, turned around, and practically dashed out of there, leaving him in solitude. He expected a yelling for drinking underage, but this?
His already bad hangover throbbed as noise came from the stairs. Itachi silently walked down, his hand on the railing for support and the other over his forehead. The older Uchiha went over and sat down in silence next to his sibling, as Sasuke offered him aspirin from the bottle their mother left there. Itachi took it in grateful silence, and drank it down with water from Sasuke's cup.
Both stayed silent, until Itachi spoke.
"We're never doing that again"
XxX
A/N: (1) hijo de tu madre: it's practically 'son-of-a-bitch' in spanish
(2) El Rey by Vicente Fernandez, my deceased grandfather's favorite ranchera song. I don't really know why I put it there, I guess it's because I never met him, it's the only thing I have that symbolizes him.
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This fic was requested by VampCrazygirl, I hope you like it!
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Review please!